Title: Bedizen Summary: Severus worries that Harry will leave him Rating: PG-13 Pairing: HP/SS Genre: Romance Series: Word of the Day (WotD) Warnings: None! Beta-ed: NO Complete: YES Disclaimer: Not mine!!
Severus sighed sadly as he watched Harry watch a teenage boy bedizened with little more than thousands upon thousands of strings of metallic beads. As the boy danced, bits of olive skin were revealed or hidden again from sight.
It was extremely erotic, yet Severus didn’t respond to it at all. He only had eyes for the black-haired, green-eyed young man staring at the performer.
Severus bit his lip. He had no right to demand anything from Harry. They hadn’t been dating that long. Eight months, two weeks, three days, and, oh, an hour and twenty-seven minutes.
Harry often said ‘I love you’ to Severus. His actions were tempered with affection. And lust. Always lust. Harry was extremely good in bed.
Severus dragged his mind away from there. It was not conducive to working through his current problem.
He adored Harry. He thought Harry loved him, too. But… the way Harry was eyeing the performer, he wasn’t so sure about it any more.
Severus felt tears pressing against his eyes and blinked them back angrily.
He had no claim over Harry. None. If Harry wanted to leave (find greener pastures, his inner voice whispered maliciously), Severus wouldn’t stop him. He wouldn’t be selfish. It would… only make it harder. And it would make Harry hate him.
He’d rather that Harry remained his friend.
At least, he thought so. He wasn’t sure he could look at Harry and not think of sex.
Maybe it was best to make Harry angry at him. Jealousy would do it well, and at least it would be cathartic.
But as he looked at the young man he loved so much, he realized that he couldn’t be mean to Harry. He couldn’t. He couldn’t pester Harry…
He took a long, shuddering breath. He was going to lose Harry, wasn’t he? No matter what he did… he was going to lose Harry.
Harry got bored of him. He couldn’t offer Harry what he wanted.
Harry looked up at him and frowned. “Sev, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Severus choked out.
“Severus, don’t lie. What’s wrong?”
“Is it something I did? Something I said? Are you angry with me?”
“Not angry… sad…” Severus admitted, angry at himself for folding so quickly, so easily. He didn’t want to, damnit. He was going to let Harry go without a fight, he had promised himself.
“Why?” Harry cried, biting his lip. His eyes were wide and pleading. Severus couldn’t resist.
“You’re… going to leave me, aren’t you?” Severus whispered.
“Never!” Harry cried. “Severus, why would you think such a thing?”
“I saw the way you were looking at the performer.”
Harry smiled slightly. “Severus. He’s attractive. He moves well. I appreciate that. Not even sexually. But even if it was sexual appreciation, it doesn’t translate into me leaving you. I adore you. I love you. And I’m never going to leave you. Never ever.”
Severus smiled wanly.
“Promise,” Harry whispered. “And certainly not for a performer bedizened in strings of beads.”
Bedizen – trans. v. To dress or adorn in gaudy manner. (Dictionary.com’s Word of the Day, March 14, 2008)