mythopoeics

Things I have learned;

Music does not calm these savage beasts.

Nor does chocolate.

Attempts to play 'fetch' only work temporarily.

Flutes are not suitable weapons.

Velicraptors have hurty claws.

Doing parkour in a dress is not easy.

Excess fabric can make semi-decent bandages.

Dinosaurs are audible breathers.

It's incredibly hard to stay still when one is breathing right over your hiding place.

...when all is said and done I don't think there will be enough alcohol in the state to help me get over this.

Problem A: Wake up in a strange apartment that smells like patchouli.
Solution: Leave the apartment, hop on bus, go home.

Problem B: Outside = jungle, no buses.
Solution: SHRIEK

Problem C: Come back inside, find crossbow and water and computer.
Solution: Attempt to learn how to shoot crossbow.

Problem D: Do not know how to shoot crossbow.
Solution: FLING IT ACROSS THE ROOM

Problem E: Look out window, see BRONTOSAURUS' FACE
Solution: proceed to go into cardiac arrest

Hey, did anyone see that sporting event that took place last night? It was a really good game, very tense and athletic. Those players were going all out, boy was it a sight to see. I'm just glad the team I like won, otherwise I might have had to start throwing punches in the bar where I was enjoying some brewskis with the boys.

So, who's up for some drinks later, ladies?

[filter; family (both real and mythical) and friends]
Am I acting hetero enough? I know what they do to guys like me in this day and age, I've been watching the latest season of American Horror Story.

[filter; thalia] (added later)
Darling dearest, I need a favor from you. Please.

THERE IS A CAR ALARM GOING OFF OUTSIDE AND IT'S BEEN GOING FOR HALF AN HOUR AND I DON'T THINK MY SANITY CAN LAST ANOTHER FIVE MINUTES I NEED EARPLUGS

help

also no more fairies please

also i lost my punctuation somewhere

So my bro Ra and I came up with an amazing plan. And gave our fairies booze. It is awesome, they're all sorts of funny flying now.

"I have said to you to speak the truth is a painful thing. To be forced to tell lies is much worse." -- Oscar Wilde, De Profundis

Happy National Coming Out Day to those I know who are out and proud! Your courage in living your life openly is a beautiful thing.

Costume shopping with the little man went well! We not only got him a costume -- Apollo, he took your advice and will be dressing up like Captain America for Halloween -- but he helped me pick out the greatest costume ever for when I take him trick-or-treating.

It's hot, right? Just in case that's not suitable for any parties, I also picked up the following awesome costume as a back up. However, anyone who wants to experience the glory of that first outfit is welcome to come trolling neighbors for candy with us when the time comes.

( cut to save f-lists )

People of the world, the time has come to unveil my new secret: I am officially blonde. It took a couple days to get the color right -- SHUSH, EUTERPE, I KNOW IT LOOKED HILAR -- but now it's looking like, you know, a head of nice, blonde hair.

I already forgot what it was like to be a redhead.

[Filter: Siblings + Hecate * other Underworldlings]

Sudden vacation with a new friend to Turkey! I'll be leaving early next week and I'll be back in a month's time. It'll be colder and horrible when I get back but I think I'll tolerate it better when I have some nice memories to keep me perky during the more bleak moments.

Be good! ♥

[Filter: Rosier]

♥♥ Please visit my apartment once a day to check on my plants. And do you want anything from Turkey?

[Filter: Private]

PLEASE DO NOT LET ANYTHING GO HORRIBLY WRONG. I need this. Give me this if you're going to make me suffer another cold, horrible winter away from


Just let me have this.

So my 'pod' self dude was on vacations for aaaaall the time I was in Zurvan. It means I came back having to pretty much camp in the hospital. Which is fun, I always wanted to spend three days in a row making sure people don't kick the bucket.

:( no, I want to go home and cuddle things.

I'm having a hair dilemma. After Halloween last year when I wore that blonde wig, I've kinda been pining for blonde hair. Would it be worth it? Will my hair hate me? Will I regret it and then turn to red dye in the end?

DECISIONS, THEY ARE HARD.

[FILTERED TO GABRIEL]
We're good, right? You and me? Are you alright?
[/Filtered]

I hate this time of year. I can't stand being cold. Anyway, at least it's busy for me. After a fairly sizable dry spell job wise, I've got quite a few coming up. My old man's work is throwing a fancy fundraiser and he actually seems to have decided that me being a musician isn't bad and got me hired. C'mon, god of music and medicine. Wish I could have swung towards medicine this time. Thrown the old guy a bone Masquerade themed. Gotta get a mask and a date

GABRIEL, I think we should throw a Halloween party. A Halloween extravaganza. A Halloween hoopla. I just really love Halloween guys. I don't know why. It just speaks to me. Plus the music is great and a blast to play. Much more fun than Christmas. So much easier to pretend to not be massively confused when you've got things to think about

I've decided that I simply cannot stand Starbucks. Their coffee is overpriced, their clientele primarily hipsters or wannabe-Eurotrash, and their baked goods sub-par. So why do I find myself going there damn near daily?

Some bloody moron broke my coffee maker and I haven't had time to get a new one. Bet you can't guess what I'll be doing this weekend.

Anyone want to take a wild guess as to who scored some primo tickets to the Patrick Wolf show at Joe's Pub on Friday night, complete with backstage passes?

That's right, this chick here did. All I had to do was show off my insanely awesome dancing skills by doing a little shimmying to one of my favorite PWolf songs, but once they saw me in action the tickets were mine. And yes, Liam, I kept my pants on the entire time. I make no such guarantees for during the concert though, in fact I might just wear a miniskirt so I can stay true to being la musa de la sin pantalones.

Oh, that reminds me, I've got an extra ticket, does anyone want to come with me to the concert? I'd rather not go alone. And would anyone like to babysit my adorable little brother for me? Thalia, if you do it you can invite that angelic friend of yours, I don't mind...

I love getting into debates with idiots, it's by far one of my favorite things about the whole college experience. This one was rather epic too, if I do say so myself. It started out being about how women claim they want nice guys but go for douchewaffles, then morphed into a discussion about homophobia (I hate the word homophobia; you're not scared, you're just an asshole who can't accept things that make you uncomfortable), gay rights and peoples' perceptions of gay marriage (this letter/op-ed piece should be required reading for everyone), and ended with me explaining to a dipshit classmate that calling me a 'fruit' isn't as insulting as he thinks it is because everyone loves fruit.

Thankfully, I was able to keep things classy, though I think my poor opponent had no idea what he was up against. He seemed to assume I would fall apart over his repeated insults, when the opposite happened. Victory is sweet.

[ He's all smiles when the feed turns on, and maybe a little too hopeful for his own good. ]

When did school get so goddamn boring? I've never been in a place with so many people eager to learn. Take me back to high school please. Or better yet, why don't all of you fine people give me the dirt on this place?

Who loves who, who doesn't love who. Affairs, orgies, virgins, whatever it is, I want to hear it. Just please don't tell me about your vacation homes or pets, unless it has to do with sex. Pretty sure if the latter comes out of anyone I'm going to have to single you out as Zeus. And what haven't we been through together?

I'm itching to get some sparks flying already, so if it makes you feel more comfortable reply anonymously or send me a private message. You can definitely trust me with your secrets, and know, that I know what I'm talking about. [ Yeah right. ]

I think there will be a fair few of you convinced you need my help when you figure out who I am. You can call me Reese, or Eros, if you insist. Hell I'll take Cupid, even if the name brings to mind images of fat kids flying butt naked with wings obviously not designed to support that kind of body weight.

The NY Comedy Festival is coming in November, and I didn't know I'd bought tickets to both Robin Williams and Kevin Hart back in, oh, July. Robin Williams is already sold out; I don't know about Kevin. I'm in front row at Robin Williams. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COSTS? Ricky Gervais is coming too, but we don't talk about him since that event we don't speak of. I've officially become a poor student. I think I need to get more shifts during the week so I can cry blood from all the stress, but come out of it with more money. No pain, no gain.

Now I'm going to overdose on Dylan Moran's Like, Totally tour. Watch it all or watch this because it is relevant. And this is not, but you should watch it anyway. Okay I lied, this, too.

THALIA OUT.

[ filter; kokabiel ]
You and me, lunch someday. At sometime.

You know, sometimes I wish more people knew about our existence, since shutting up the pretentious hipsters in my Composition seminar would be so much easier if when they started with their 'I spent my summer producing my latest off-Broadway production' I could be all 'well, I'm the Greek muse of music, bitch'. Seriously, how could they top that? Whatever... hey, hey, life ain't fair, three in the air if you just don't care.

At least Reed's doing better in school than I am, except I had to have a meeting with his teacher the other day because she was concerned about what I'm teaching him since she didn't accept his explanation of the 'family' picture he drew. He was telling people that I'm his 'mommy-sister-Ellie' because I'm the only mom he remembered having, and she somehow took that to mean there was something psychologically borked with his head. I had to explain to her that our mom died shortly after Reed was born, so I took care of him, which she seemed to accept. Then she asked me about father-figures in his life since he didn't draw one. I... had no idea how to respond to that.

Blah, enough of me telling everyone my personal business. I want to meet the person who made this not safe for children mash-up, and shake their hand. I also want to get laid go out and do something, preferably with someone fun. Who wants to take me and the munchkin out somewhere? Or, take on babysitting duty for me? Anyone?

I'd like to interrupt this program for a special announcement: tomorrow is Wear It Purple Day. You are being invited to wear something purple all day long in support of beautiful, amazing people. I'm going to hand out a couple wristbands near campus tomorrow, so if you're near Washington Square Park, find me outside! Guess what I'll be wearing? ♥

So come out and wear some fancy purple clothes! I'm going all out. I'll be the purplest girl who ever purpled. Well, with the except of Violet Beauregarde.

Really not digging the responsibilities I seem to have taken upon myself since getting back from Zurvan. Especially not the part where I might need to take a time out from grad school and partying to focus more on being a motherfucking adult. Not cool, reality, not cool.

The only thing cheering me up right now is knowing Jersey Shore got cancelled. As Ice Cube would say --


[filter; apollo]
I know you want to see Reed, but before I bring him by I need to set a few ground rules, alright?

[filter; cù sìth]
Crazy question... what's your opinion on kids? How's my favorite basement stranger doing?

[filter; gabriel & merlin/visible to thalia]
How do I say this delicately... Anyone have any tips on how to entertain a seven year old?

[filter; private]
Note to self -- enroll Reed in elementary school, quit college to get a real job, and see if Jerry Springer has a show on how to deal with being my former son's sister.

Overheard in my Psychology of Social Behavior class: If I had a penis I’d name it The Plot and every time I got a boner I’d turn to the person closest to me and just whisper the plot thickens. I laughed at that far too hard for anyone to consider me mature.

What is it about being in college that brings out the morons of the population? You'd think, being a graduate student at an institution of higher learning would cut down on the rampant idiocy one normally faces, but no, you'd be wrong. At least there's some attractive people in my classes, since there's nothing I like more than hot people with easily solved personal problems.

Hrm, I should probably introduce myself. Akiva Love, graduate student at NYU, studying Psychology. You might know me from the wildly successful radio show 'The Love Line', and those of you who know my sister Seraphina can rest assured that I'm just as adorable and amazing as she claims.

[ filter; kokabiel ]
Hello sir. You are cordially invited to my place of residence sometime in the coming week for a dinner of delicious proportions. A date of the human variety will not be required. Please RSVP ASAP.

Sincerely yours,
Thalia

[ filter; euterpe ]
I'm inviting Kokabiel over for dinner next week. You can invite the Musagetes if you want. It can be a TOTALLY NOT AWKWARD Zurvan family deal. Sorry if I jumped the gun but sljsh;sljsh is how I'm feeling right now.

It occurred to me this morning after I got over waking up to spooning with Merlin that there's so much that I could say about what happened, or about the years of therapy I might need after finding some guy chained up in my basement (who would have scared the pants off me, had I been wearing any), but I'm not going to. I'm not even going to ask why there was some stranger in the basement -- like if this is some sort of kinky Fifty Shades of Grey thing do tell -- though I will toot my own horn by letting it be known that I freed him, because I'm awesome like that.

Instead, I'm just going to sum up everything with the following --



( cut for length and silliness )

[Filter; Siblings]
How are all of you?

[Filter; Artemis]
Where are you?

[Filter; Gabriel]
You had a kid with my wife. YOU. Also, Troilus is supposed to hate me. We are not supposed to be brothers and I am not supposed to be worried about the fact that I haven't heard from him but I am.

Knowing doesn't make anything easier or less terrifying. I don't want to wake up back home and miss a kid that wasn't mine and women who never loved me

AHAH. AHAHAH. AHAH. AH.

I'm married. Why am married? Hey, daddiest? ARE YOU SLEEPING ON THE JOB OR SOMETHING? WHY ARE WE GETTING KICKED AROUND? I'M GETTING A BIT TIRED OF THIS DADDY SO WTF She's nice. She's very nice. And this was nice. I didn't mind it that much. Only. I'm going with WTF so the awkward doesn't drop by like this huge Boing 747.

Well. Shit.

[ filtered from kokabiel ]
So, here's a question: you get married in one place, then you wake up and realize the whole thing was never real to begin with. Do you carry on? Do you keep loving that person, or do you pack up your bags and say sayonara?

Can I get a headcount of who hasn't seen me naked? No, 'terpe, don't ask that. People will think you're a sloot.

...awkward.

[filter; merlin]
So... You've seen me naked. You think I'm hot? Nice... house?

[filter; gabriel]
Um... we had a son played naked twister never need to speak of this again. It's cool.

[filter; apollo]
agmwekeb kidsawlfkgrkdf usgescatsv I have no idea what to say

Some vacation this turned out to be.

[Filter: Merlin and Ra]
Thank you so much for the hospitality, and for helping me keep Reed safe. He's been so scared ever since we got here, cuddling Mini-Mew like he's afraid soldiers will show up out of nowhere to take the kitten away, and I appreciate that you've both been so understanding.

[Filter: Apollo]
I don't mean to seem panicked, but why aren't you back yet? I miss you. Reed misses you. We just want you here.

Well, Apollo, Reed, and I have literally just arrived in Camelot. We were detained by soldiers who decided to question us after we crossed the border. Apparently, something about a family of three traveling with a harmless kitten seemed suspect, and were it not for my incredibly calm, smooth-talking husband I might not be writing this at the moment.

The soldiers attempted to take Reed's kitten, Mini-mew. For reasons I cannot even fathom, they deemed a cat no bigger than my outstretched hand to be unsafe. This upset my son, which in turn upset me, and quite frankly I was thisclose to beating someone with my aulos if they didn't give my boy back his damn pet. Thankfully, I happen to be married to an incredible man who knew exactly how to explain that we are of no threat to them, and that if they didn't allow us to leave unmolested the chancellor himself would be hearing about it. (Sorry, Merlin. Consider this you hearing about it.)

Now, if someone could kindly explain what in the five kingdoms is going on I would greatly appreciate it.

WHERE THE FUDGE IS MY COUSIN?


[ filter; family ]
You guys, if you want to go to Camelot, go without me, okay? I'm not going anywhere for a while.

The trip to Camelot is so close I can practically taste it. For anyone wondering, it tastes like those darling little cucumber sandwiches. Is it odd that I've actually missed them? Regardless, I honestly cannot wait to set foot on Camelotian soil again. I just hope Merlinthey're ready for me and mine.

[filter; family]
Has anyone seen or heard from Syrinx? It's been a few days, and I stopped by her house to bring her a drawing Reed made for her, but there was no answer. Her neighbor said they haven't seen hide nor hair of her either, and nobody seems to know where she could be. I'm worried.

[filter; euterpe, isolde & syrinx]
I've been doing a lot of thinking, but when I do a lot of thinking, nothing really good comes out of it. But I've been thinking... about bringing up the topic of kids. With Kokabiel. It's been on the brain for weeks now, but I haven't dropped hints because I'd rather come out with it to his face.

Thoughts? Opinions? Advice on if this is a terrible, horrible idea that shouldn't happen because our spawn will take over Babylon but will be disgustingly adorable because my husband is attractive and attractive people don't have ugly children but I'd still love them even if they were ugly but they probably won't be ugly?



See, this is what happens when I think.