Mysteria Online

Does anyone know a Pet Mind reader? or, well something along those lines? Someone who knows whats wrong with a pet?
Thanks.

Hey with apparently Flu season hitting, If anyone needs extra help because they're sick, or well for any reason let me know.
Either leave a note here, email, contact the church.
Connect.
Love and best wishes
Ziva.

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive,

press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent,

please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid,

we know who you are and what you want,

stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional,

press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic,

listen carefully and a little voice will tell You which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive,

hang up. It doesn't matter which number you press,

nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6.

If you are bipolar,

please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep.

But Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem,

please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal,

put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry.

You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons. You'll just mess it up.

Is anyone else having sinus issues? Like, unusually sniffly?

May just be the cold weather.

( Memo to all employees )

The Last Round will be having it's annual New Year's Eve Bash. The party and drink specials start at nine pm and run until closing at three am. All patrons are encourage to dress up. Come see our staff all dressed up in costume and ring in the new year.

Be glad christmas is over, and remember, brush your teeth people! Brush brush

( To All Last Round Employees )

To: Gideon (letsplaydoctor@mysteria.com)
From: Morgan (thompsonmagpie@mysteria.com)
Subject: Spankalicious

( Hey Cragged Face )

I should probably be working on this article...but...well

So anyone who has any stories they think should go in to the newspaper, drop me an email on boon_morrison@mysteriapaper.com

Not so you do my job for me though!
( FUN THINGS TO MAKE YOU SMILE )

Yo what's with the witch burning posters up around town? Doesn't really seem so nice to me. Sides, the 'witches' look way too hot, and in ones case tattooed........
Anyway. Anyone wanna go to see the organizers get arrested? Gotta arrest someone for something like that right?

The Winter Dance will be held in the gym on December 21 at 7:00 until 11:00 and is open to all grades. All students wanting to help put up the decorations should be at the gym after school the day before.

Christmas Break will begin the 21st and end on January 2nd. Have a safe and happy holiday.

Join the hottest coven around! Okay, so we're just starting out so even more reason to come and join! We'll be meeting Sunday evening at my office. If you're interested stop by. If you have any questions just shot me an email. witchforhire@mysteria.com

Attachment: Time and Directions to the meeting.

Hey, does any one know Indra? I mean, like well. Indra Kwaii, he's a total sweetie, runs a buisness. Apparently had an accident. Anyone know if he's ok?

Wanted: One really hot bartender to fill open position at The Last Round. Apply in person. Previous experience helps, but we'll work with the hottest right person.

With people going missing, I find myself wondering if anyone would be interested in a support group.

Contact me, at the hospital.

Ask for Doctor Aaron at reception, or leave a note here. Thanks.

I would just like to remind people that the Christmas present drive has now started at Delights. Please donate if you can to the drive with a new toy or good quality old toy. The drive has been a little slow this year already, so please. Bring in your gifts.

Also, any unused linen or clothing can be donated to the Homeless Shelter Drive at Delights also.

One last notice:
We are still collecting for the raffle for the year worth of tokens for goods from Delights as well as the edible gingerbread house centre piece as first prize.
Second prize is a hamper basket and one month worth of tokens for goods from Delights and free cups of tea or coffee for a year when a treat is bought thereafter.
Third prize is a hamper basket with up to thirty dollars worth of items in it and a month worth of free beverages with any purchase.
The draw will now take place on the 20th of December and the Gingerbread house will be ready for pick up on Christmas Eve to add a finish to any table spread or party.

So, anyone interested in being a part of the raffle please come down to Nicki’s Delights and buy a ticket.

All money excluding costs will go to a Children’s charity.

Thank you.