Musings

i want to ask you a question. tell you a story. a story with questions. it won't be a catechism, you won't need to answer directly, or in the middle.

When I came to this city five years ago, the realtor for my apartment all but sang the virtues of living in the "Emerald City." She called it safe. I realize that she was lying, as most sales people do, but in light of recent events, I wonder if she has changed that part of her pitch.

you've created a school. a haven, so you say.

Okay, so riddle me this, riddle me that, riddle me everything over the sun can somebody explain what's going on? People end up dead, but the papers don't say anything. And when they do, it don't exactly compute from what they say. Like they're leaving stuff out. Standard for papers, I know. Don't have vocal cords, so they can't talk, and the people that make them tend to muzzle them puzzle them just don't guzzle them just to make sure, but that's no excuse. And then there's the guy in spandex and heavy artillery plastered all over the building. And I'm pretty sure it's not just me that's seeing them. I don't know if he's supposed to be somebody I'm supposed to look for or stay away from or if he's coming to town to do birthday parties or what. ...Although anybody who carries loaded guns to a birthday party should have their head examined. People who would pay for that, too. So...some help? I'm a little lost confused scared lost.

in between the walls and the walls have pain. she said but she didn't say, she spent a lot of time here. you can see it. there are stains, worn places for the fingers to find, places on the edges of the bed. you touch them and you know what she was like

meeting places, gathering places.

1. they bring together

2. they separate. inside you there is a magnet, and we all hold one. some of them have opposing polarities, they snap together like they were meant to be connected. some of them are too much they same, and they repel. these are forces of nature. they are not to be argued with. they don't compromise.

3. sometimes you have no magnet and they put one under the skin. acupuncture. they stick the needles in and the needles are supposed to fix or improve upon various connected parts of the body, and sometimes the needles are filled with fluid and the fluid has no name and the fluid burns

4. speakers. you listen. everyone's speakers are connected to their magnets, to their natures. and when the sound flows out you know the truth.

the truth is simple. the woman knew her truth, and her truth was to jump. i couldn't save her. i could say nothing. they tell you to hush and you hush because these are the ones that bind you and these are the ones with needles and these are the ones that improve you. improvement by breakage. like the binding of feet. they shape the break into what they want to see.