InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "tick tick tick tick tick."

Sam Winchester (lost_my_shoe) wrote in museful,
@ 2013-01-22 09:24:00

Entry tags:

[closed thread]

for likely_good
So in the end the Winchesters had chosen family over all else (again). Sometimes it seemed a never-ending cycle - something coming between them, threatening their entire relationship and then them ultimately choosing each other. Maybe it was because they were the only constant in each other's life... Of course, each time it happened it was harder to move past. It was like a wound. Each time it was like digging deeper and deeper, and each time you did it took longer to heal.

Being a hunter was hard. It wasn't a job, it was a lifestyle. And once you were in there was no getting out. God knows Sam had tried enough times. All he'd ever wanted was to be normal. He wanted a house with a mortgage and a fixed address. He wanted to mow the lawn every weekend. He wanted a wife and kids and a dog. But every time he got out something dragged him right back in again. The worst part was you couldn't have both. You couldn't have the perfect apple pie life and still save people. It just didn't work. It was one or the other.

This time Sam had been sure he'd choose the apple pie life. He had a woman that loved him. A woman who was prepared to leave her husband to be with him. And a dog that was as loyal and gentle as anything. He'd been so close. All he had to do was turn up. Yet in the end, he'd stayed with Dean. In the end it all came down to family.

(Post a new comment)

likely_good
2013-01-22 10:10 am UTC (link)

The option to choose family was never a choice, when it came to Dean. He'd cut ties with Benny before even knowing Sam would stay, because that was what needed to happen. Benny was a great friend, as close a friend as he could hope for, and he knew Benny had been in a bad state, but Sam asked him to be done with Benny and... well, now he was, not that he'd tell Sam he'd won that argument. Even now, Sam was sometimes just his snot-nosed little brother.

Picking up their empty chilli bowls, Dean dumped them in the sink and glanced over his shoulder to the boxing match on the little TV as he ran the water in the sink. He was sure things would be awkward for a long time, but they'd get comfortable again. He just knew Sam choosing to stay over going to Amelia was probably more about the job than about him.

He wasn't going to be delusional and think any of this had anything to do with him personally. Sam was just too damn good for his own good, even when Dean had told him he wanted him to be happy.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

lost_my_shoe
2013-01-22 10:28 am UTC (link)

Dean could be a real idiot sometimes. Part of the reason Sam kept getting sucked back into this life was the job. Saving people. Hunting things. The family business. But the main reason was because of Dean. There were plenty of times when he wanted to murder Dean - but what baby brother didn't want to murder his jerk of a big brother at some point?

But more importantly, Dean was the one who had practically raised Sam single-handedly. How many big brothers would forsake their own childhood to take care of a bratty little brother? How many big brothers would sell their soul to save their little brother?

Even if Sam had gone to Amelia, part of him would always be wondering if Dean was safe and every time the phone rang or he got a text message he'd be wondering if that was the call to tell him Dean was dead.

He dragged himself over to the sink, hovering over Dean as he held out a bottle of beer for him. "Here."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

likely_good
2013-01-22 10:52 am UTC (link)

Dean looked up, frowning a bit at the bottle and raising a hand out of the water to take it, sipping it after a slight nod to his brother. He was definitely an idiot. He didn't want to believe people came around for him. People always left, everyone went away in the end, and he knew he'd be last man standing, because no one would want to stick around him, least of all Sam, when the end came. No one hated Dean more than Dean did, so he knew what there was to actually like about himself. And there wasn't much.

"You can head to bed. I got this," he assured his brother, nodding towards the two small beds across the cabin. This place was Rufus' once, and then Bobby's. Now it was theirs. It was funny how things just kept passing down to them. He didn't want any more inheritance.

Setting the beer down, he finished up washing the bowls and put them to dry, towelling off his hands.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lost_my_shoe
2013-01-22 11:17 am UTC (link)

Yep. Definitely an idiot. He was a jerk and annoying as hell half the time. But the only person who really hated Dean(apart from all the big bads, naturally), was Dean. For someone who spent his live protecting people and saving people, Dean had such little self belief. No one was perfect. But really, he should cut himself some slack and give himself a break.

Sam didn't move from his spot. He frowned and shrugged his shoulders. "So, you wanna talk about it? Whatever's eating you up inside." Because they were both such experts at talking about their feelings.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

likely_good
2013-01-22 11:24 am UTC (link)

Looking up at his brother, Dean raised a brow, and the smirk on his face was almost an amused one. "Me being such a 'big hugger' and all?" He repeated Sam's words back to him, then dried his hands off fully, tossing the cloth aside and grabbing his bottle of beer.

"I'm fine. Just today was weird, is all. I mean, we did all that to get Alfie out and -- Bam! -- Cas ices the dude. It just... doesn't sit right." He shook his head, moving to sit back down on the tiny couch, feet coming up onto the table, his boots still on.

"We need to figure this crap out, but I don't even know where to start."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lost_my_shoe
2013-01-22 11:52 am UTC (link)

Hugs and puppies, Dean, hugs and puppies. They keep the world turning. One day he'd get Dean to open up more about his feelings. One day.

"Yeah, it was a bit weird." Sam took his place next to Dean, cradling his beer in his hand. "Cas seemed really out of it too. Something's not right. You don't think Purgatory scrambled what brain cells he's got left, do you?" Or maybe the problem wasn't Purgatory, but more what happened after Purgatory...

Life was so much more simple when they were hunting ghosts and wendigos...

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

likely_good
2013-01-22 11:56 am UTC (link)

He's got the puppy part in his brother. The hugs can be left aside, thank you very much.

"Hell if I know. I mean, maybe you're right, maybe angels are behind this. Or if Purgatory did something to him, why not me? Or Benny?" Dean outwardly winced at even bringing up the vampire and sipped his beer to glide past the moment. It was better not to say that name, or Sam's girl's name, ever again.

"Something was definitely wrong with him, I don't like this one bit." He sighed, picking at the label on the bottle.