Agent Fox Mulder (i_want_2) wrote in multi_fiction, @ 2008-09-23 00:33:00 |
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Entry tags: | golden girls, rated: teen, self/mast. |
Fic: Stan The Man 1/1 Golden Girls
Title: Stan the Man.
Author: Lopaka Tanu
Prompt: 16 Puncture/Laceration - bullet wounds, stabbing, impalement
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor
Summary: A slight detour over to Stanland.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
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Whistling, Stan bopped to the salsa music playing in the background. He poured the wine fresh from the one gallon bottle and set the bottle back in the styrofoam cooler. It was the only thing big enough to hold the cheap wine and the bag of ice he had around. Tonight was his big date and he had everything planned out perfectly.
The candles were set on either side of the breakfast nook, lit and ready in what he knew to be a romantic setting. The paper plates were loaded down with cans of Chef BoyRD spaghetti and meatballs. Only the expensive stuff, not that cheap store brand for his date. She was special.
Humming, he picked up the copy of Vogue magazine. He wanted his apartment to look chic, trendy. That, and the free cologne packet in the center he was applying on his neck. Waving a hand around his throat, he inhaled the pungent aroma. It wasn't the best he'd worn, but it was the costliest. That magazine had cost him five bucks.
The sound of a buzzer let him know his date was ready. "Coming, sweet heart!" Tap dancing all the way in to the living room, he finished with his hands splayed as if for balance. "How is my girl?"
Tammy couldn't seem care less what his moves were. In fact, the person who did her appearance made her seem constantly constipated.
"Gee, thanks, I'm glad you noticed." He felt hurt she didn't at least give him a little reaction. Then again, what did he expect from a girl he'd found in the back room of a sex store? "Shall we do this?"
Tammy was silent.
"That's more like it. A silent woman is a good woman, except in the sack. The more vocal, the better!" Taking her by the hand, he led her in to the kitchen and helped her in to her chair. "See, I wanted this to be special, so I got you something. It's not much, but it should ease things between us." Holding up the bag, he put it in front of her. "Go on, open it."
Tammy remained unmoving.
"Fine, I will open it for you." Reaching in to the paper sack, he pulled out a bottle and set it down in front of her. "It's KY Warming Gel, I saw it next to you in the store and I thought the three of us could have a really good time together. What say you? Wanna give it a little go?"
Tammy swayed forwards and backwards, as if giving her consent.
"Good, cause I am through with this charade!" Diving across the nook, he tackled Tammy and rolled with her across the floor. "Oh, babe, you know how to turn a guy on! That's right, move with me, give it to me." Groaning, he pressed her in to the floor. "Don't fight our animal lusts, we are meant to be together. Joined at the hip, it will be such sweet stuff."
Tammy had had enough. After being pushed in to a tack on the floor, she shot out of his grip and flew across the room.
Blinking in surprise, Stan sat up. "Was it something I said?" Crawling to his date, Stan's hopes fell. She wasn't up for much tonight. He'd let the air out of their evening by being too rough and now her lust was deflated. Picking her up, he tossed her over the couch. "I'll get the repair kit out tomorrow."
Tammy just wheezed a sigh of relief as the last of her air went out the hole in her back. Yes, Tammy Telmetru was one lucky blow up doll.
THE END