Fic: Stroke It! 1/1 Golden Girls
Title: Stroke it. Author: Lopaka Tanu Prompt: 15 Neurological disorder - epilepsy, spinal cord damage, stroke, migraines, clinical depression. Claim: General Golden Girls Rating: Mature Adults Genre: Humor Summary: That does it! Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls. _________________________________________
"Ma, what are you doing? That man has done nothing to you!" Glaring her mother down, Dorothy felt like the world was going insane. Come once again, it was time to get her mother new shoes. This time, they had come to a new store that never had met her mother. It was a big mistake and the cowering salesman in the corner was the proof. "Put the shoe horn down now, you worn prune!"
Eyes bugging behind her thick glasses, Sophia turned on her daughter. She held up the shoe horn like it was a sword. "I dare you to try and take it from me."
"You have finally met your match!" Grabbing a near by shoe horn that had shot off when the last salesman had tried to work with Sophia, Dorothy put down her purse. "You are going down!"
"Oh, big words from a... big woman." Frowning, Sophia circled a pile of shoes between her and Dorothy. "I can't make a good threat, sue me, I'm in my nineties!"
"Oh, I plan on doing more than that! En Garde!" Charging through the shoe pile, Dorothy dove at her mother.
Sophia dodged to the left and tried to make a break for it, only to trip over a pair of shoes she'd thrown earlier. After crashing to the floor, she rolled over. Too late, she found a shoe horn to her throat. "What are you waiting for, finish it!"
"Not on your life, ma! Get up, you are going to put all these shoes back in their boxes and then you are going to apologize to these nice gentlemen whom you have hurt!" Glaring, Dorothy's teeth were practically grinding.
Seeing she was getting to her daughter, Sophia smirked. "Oh yeah, make me."
"Ma!" Hands shaking, Dorothy reached down to choke her mother when a pain flashed in her temple. She blinked and twitched, then toppled over.
"Oh shit," was all Sophia had time to get out before Dorothy collapsed on top her like a felled tree. After much wrangling and bouncing, she finally got Dorothy's bulk off her. She climbed to her feet and stared down triumphantly at her twitching daughter. "Not so big and bad now, are you, Pussycat?"
"Mav!" Her left side flexing back on her, Dorothy grit her teeth.
"You stay here, Dorothy, I'll go call the paramedics." With a half grin, she winked. "Eventually." Whistling, Sophia started over towards the cowering salesclerks. "Now, where were... waaahhhh!"
Dorothy brought her right foot down on Sophia's head, knocking her out after having kicked her feet out from under her. Gasping, she opened her cell phone and hit the send button. "Bwanche, caw da docor!"
"Oh, damn, I knew this would happen. Well, can't say we didn't expect something to happen. It's a good thing we got these phones, ain't it. You know..."