Jack Davenport || Ὀδυσσεύς (manofexploits) wrote in monte_logs, @ 2012-03-11 01:25:00 |
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Entry tags: | odysseus, penelope, ~complete |
I am as constant as a northern star
Characters: Jack/Odysseus (manofexploits) & Kate/Penelope (unravler)
Date/Time: Backdated to March 2nd, late evening
Location: Kate's parent's house (Spring Break trip)
Rating: PG
Warnings: N/A
Summary: Kate attempts a confession of sorts (part one).
Their first evening with their parents had gone well. Thanks to the Valentine’s week....whatever that was, their parents were firmly convinced that all their dreams had come true, their darling children were in love and would be getting married. Neither Jack or Kate had the heart to tell them otherwise.
After their last date, they had decided they needed to stop. It was clear to Kate that the two of them could not handle dating at a reasonable pace. It was frightening how passionate they would become when they were alone. Kate acted out of character in a way she never had before, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that. It felt like she was no longer in control of herself and that bothered her. They both seemed to lose all sense of reason and they became animals driven by pure instinct.
Their parents did not have to know that, though. It would bring questions neither wanted to answer and Kate had no doubt that it would only encourage their matchmaking efforts tenfold. They had been bad before they had shown up for his birthday as a couple, now that they had seen just how “cute and wonderful” they were together, they would never rest until they had them married with a couple of children. So Jack and Kate would give them what they wanted. They would put on a show to make their parents happy. It would be simple enough, a smile here and there, hand holding, sitting close together on the sofa, a kiss on the cheek once in a while.
If she was honest with herself, Kate would have to admit she didn’t mind any of that. It was controlled, it was comfortable, it was...nice. If they could keep their relationship at this level for a while, she would actually be more willing to explore it. This pace would give her the time she needed to get comfortable with the fact that her mind and her heart wanted to attach to someone else. They wanted her to surrender her independence and become half of a whole, a whole that she had waited twenty years for once upon a time.
While they had survived the first part of their evening, it was too soon to consider it a win just yet. They had to face the hardest part of the test, and that was sharing a bed. His parents had the spare room, and since the two of them were in a “relationship” her parents had seen no problem putting them in the same room together.
Kate had gone to bed early in hopes of falling asleep before Jack made his way upstairs, but no such luck. She was anxious about Jack entering her private domain. This was a lot more personal than her dorm room was, this had her personal touch added to every corner of the room. The walls were a faint purple, the carpet was a soft white. Her bed was a large, white canopied four poster bed covered with a heavy down comforter. The posts of the bed were wrapped in vines, and curtains were tied back to the posts of the headboard.
There were prints of Odysseus and Penelope adorning the walls, along with a bookshelf that was loaded with multiple copies of The Odyssey in various printings. The books were broken up by busts and by models of ships and figurines, all very Greek in appearance. The fact that Jack was going to see all this at some point put her on edge. She had no doubt he would have something to say about all of it.
She had pulled out her laptop to try and distract herself, and somehow she had ended up talking with Jack over the forums. He was on his way up, and knowing that sent her into instant panic mode. She got out of bed and made sure to turn all the lights out. He wouldn’t be able to see anything in the dark, and that would spare her her embarrassment for a little while longer.
He was outside her door. There was no avoiding it any longer. Jack was going to enter her private sanctuary, and they were about to embark on the hardest part of the test their Spring Break was turning out to be.
Jack wanted to sleep on the couch. In fact, it sounded like a great idea. Pulling the wool over both his and Kate’s parents’ eyes wasn’t too difficult of a task--one that he did not entirely mind--but pushing it to this extent was a bit much. He’d tried reasoning with Kate to let him sleep downstairs, but she was far too bullheaded to budge an inch. No, she’d declared vehemently, they had to sleep in the same room. What if, Kate had stressed to him once their parents were out of earshot, there was reason to suspect their relationship was far different than it’d been the week of Valentine’s Day? Did he really want to break his mother’s heart?
He wasn’t sure if this was a poor excuse to get him into the same room with her again or if she honestly was afraid their parents would have a conniption fit if they learned she’d sentenced him to the couch because his snoring often ‘kept her awake.’ Probably something of both, knowing Kate, though she was too stubborn to admit the former. And because Kate was too persistent, he’d finally caved, shutting off the television in the main living room downstairs and deciding to get this over with; it couldn’t possibly be as bad as she’d made it sound. It was not as if they hadn’t shared a bed before. It was only a week’s worth of nights together, and who would know any differently if he snuck downstairs in the early a.m. to crash on the couch? Jack could easily head back upstairs before anyone noticed. Not even her insomniac father would catch him, Jack would make sure of it.
Though he reminded himself that this wasn’t a big deal with every second step he took to Kate’s bedroom, Jack nonetheless found himself hesitating outside her door once he finally reached it. There was no reason to be nervous and anxious, really, it was obvious the bedroom light was no longer lit. Kate was asleep, or at least well on her way to dreamland, and they wouldn’t even have to see one another until morning. With that in mind helping him to steel his nerves, Jack quietly entered Kate’s bedroom, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the lack of light, making out vague shapes in the darkness--the bed (far too large for one person) was straight ahead, and that bulky shape against the nearest wall had to be a dresser. Softly shutting the door behind him, Jack padded over to Kate’s bed, wondering how well the carpet muffled his footsteps. So far, he hadn’t seen the lump under the covers (that would be Kate, it seemed about her size) move, and he figured he was safe.
This way was much better than both of them going to bed at the same time. If that had happened, they’d probably would have argued, given their situation, and if they’d argued, their parents would’ve eventually heard. His mom would most likely have been the first one to the door, knocking and asking if they needed a cup of tea or maybe wanted to discuss their problems at a family meeting. It would have been far too much of a hassle. This entire vacation was bad enough without adding negative attention from their parents to the mix. Maybe Kate was right on some level. They had to play it safe.
Safe was good.
Safe was him carefully getting undressed for bed before climbing in, not wanting to move around too much and thus wake up Kate should she actually be asleep. Safe was not leaning over and gently nudging her shoulder to see if she’d startle, discretely kissing her good night upon one exposed cheek. Jack made sure to lay on his stomach a good distance away from Kate, so as to not be tempted to casually edge closer to her still form. That would be a dangerous risk, and Kate would no doubt chastise him for it, especially when they were at her parent’s house. He was a guest and he needed to act decently.
And so he settled down for the night, the pillow cool against his cheek, hoping sleep would come sooner rather than later.
Kate heard the door open and she squeezed her eyes shut, hoping Jack would just assume she was asleep. She did not want to have to address the situation they were in while in the cozy confines of her bedroom, snuggled under her comforter, shrouded in darkness. The stillness of night added an intimacy to conversations that was not present in the glare of day.
Her curiosity was piqued as she listened to the sound of him preparing for bed. As much as she wanted to deny it, she was interested in his bedtime routine. A person’s routine said a lot about them, and the temptation to observe what his routine revealed about him was almost overwhelming. She resisted, though, as the threat of conversation was more daunting than the need to see what he did to prepare for bed.
She felt the bed sink beneath his weight and she froze, barely daring to breathe as she adjusted to the sensation of sharing her bed with someone. It wasn’t the first time she had shared a bed with Jack, but it was the first time they had done so without having their bodies locked together in an intimate embrace, and it was the first time she had shared this bed with him. There was a significance in sharing the bed in your bedroom with someone over sharing the bed in your dorm room. Letting someone into your bedroom let that person know a lot about you, whether you wanted them to or not. Every inch of your bedroom was personal, so no matter where a person looked, they saw something about you. It put her in a vulnerable position that she wasn’t sure she was comfortable with.
After about fifteen minutes, Kate couldn’t hold her position any longer. She rolled over to face Jack, peering at him with one eye. His breathing seemed even and his body was very still. She hoped he was asleep. There was only one way to find out, though.
“Jack?” She whispered his name, and when she got no response, she tried again. When she got no response the second time, she knew it was time to try something else.
She curled herself up into a ball beneath the blankets and slowly extended one of her legs, poking his bare side with her icy cold toes. The time she had spent dashing around the room to prepare for Jack’s entrance had been enough to chill her fingers and toes, and if he was awake, he’d definitely react to being touched by them. If he wasn’t awake, this presented her with an opportunity to study Jack without him staring at her or making smart aleck remarks. She was suddenly much less interested in sleeping and much more in studying.
True rest did not come easily to Jack most nights; his dreams were often littered with conflicting images from Odysseus’ life, and in these, Jack mostly played the observant witness, sometimes viewing scenes that were far too visceral to be simple matters of the subconscious. Knowing otherwise now didn’t necessarily make them easier to handle. He had no doubts that a few memories would trickle into his dreams via whatever sandman ruled the night in the present day and age, despite being reasonably comfortable in Kate’s bed. The fresh, clean smell of her sheets wouldn’t deter the strangest of visions, nor would her familiar presence.
And so it took more than a few minutes to finally drift into what could only be called the stage located between alert awareness and the beginning of deceptively refreshing sleep. False contentment was shattered by a shockingly cold touch against his side causing him to stir, moving slightly away from it with a simple motion of his hips. Not fully awake, he pressed his cheek more into the soft pillow his head rested upon, one arm thrown over it, the other tucked beneath it. He hadn’t been aware enough to hear Kate’s whisper, but in his drowsiness, he knew only that he didn’t want the feeling of cold something against his skin.
Kate frowned slightly as he scooted away from her probing feet. It was hard to tell if he was completely asleep yet or not, but the fact that he stayed quiet, rather than quipping about how cold her feet were, was a positive sign.
She lay there in the darkness for a few moments, deciding what to do. On the one hand, she could roll over and go to sleep, like any sane person would do. On the other hand, she could sit up and poke at him some more to see what would happen. Kate could never leave well enough alone, it was a trait she seemed to share with Jack. She sat up, tossing the covers back, and stared at his sleeping form, taking mental notes.
He slept shirtless. She recalled the first time she found him in his pajamas, he had a top on. Tonight that wasn’t the case. It was rather rude of him to get half naked into someone else’s bed, but it did offer her a nice view of his broad back. She hadn’t really seen much of this side of him. In all honesty, she’d never seen much of either side of him. They never let themselves get far enough apart for her to do so. She was going to take advantage of that now.
Gingerly she let her fingertips rest on his warm back, testing the waters so to speak, to see how he would respond. Why was he always so warm and why did she enjoy that so much? She needed to stop that if she was going to cure herself of this insane desire to remain plastered to Jack in any way possible. It wasn’t healthy how intense they were when they were together. There was no time to stop and think, and not thinking led to bad decisions.
She let her fingers slide upward, her touch feather light so as not to disturb him. His shoulders were broad and muscled, but not overly so. He was solid, a figure of pure strength. It was interesting to compare how broad his shoulders were to how narrow hers were.
She pursed her lips to the side and called his name again.
“Jack? Say something if you are awake?”
She poked his side again. She had seen enough of his back. She wasn’t going lower than mid back. Any farther would be unacceptable, and she had covered that ground as thoroughly as she desired. What she wanted to see was his front, more specifically, his face. She curled her toes and pushed them into his ribs, hoping that would encourage him to roll over. If he woke up during this process she’d have to act fast. She was not usually a risk taker, but something was urging her forward tonight, and whatever it was would not be satisfied until it had had its fill.
He’d distantly thought he was free to drift into the deeper realms of sleep, but that didn’t appear to be the case, for there was the faintest, briefest of touches upon his back. Though the sensation was feather soft, it nonetheless caused him to stir a second time; were he fully awake this ghost of a caress might have been pleasant, but things being what they were, it only served to disturb his attempts at slumbering peacefully.
A quiet grumble was all Kate received in response to her hushed question and intrusive jabs to his ribcage. Jack sought to get away from the disturbances, edging mere inches in the opposite direction from the irritants. With the slow, languid movements of lethargy, he rolled himself onto his back, entirely defeating the purpose of having removed himself from the vexations in the first place, as it more or less put him back where he’d started. The arm that had rested beneath Kate’s pillow now freed, Jack sluggishly scratched his lower stomach, hand lingering there as he resettled himself down for the night. Kate’s whispering again went unnoticed for the most part, not fully registering in Jack’s mind.
Success, Jack was now on his back, giving her an unfettered view of his face and chest. His face was what she was most interested in. When he was awake, his face was expressive and it conveyed as much as his words did. Kate never really had a chance to just look at it without finding herself captivated by a simple smile or a glint in his eye. Now, while he slept, his face was lax and his expression peaceful. It allowed her to study the line of his jaw, the way his lashes fanned out across his cheeks, the straight slope of his nose, the strength of his chin and the fullness of his mouth. She found herself much less captivated and it gave Penelope the opportunity to study the new visage of her Odysseus. He wasn’t classically handsome, but there was a strength and intelligence in his features that she found reassuring. His new face lacked the ruggedness of his old one. Everything about him was fairer than his previous counterpart, but not in any way less attractive. She let her hand rest against his cheek for a brief moment, brushing her thumb across his cheek before taking her hand back.
Her eyes traveled lower, watching the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. He was so much less threatening this way. She retained a full grip on her control, and it made her feel more confident. Jack had a way of making her lose all sense of reason in a way no one else ever had. She bit her lip as she considered taking advantage of this situation even further. It only took a few seconds for her to decide to go ahead and rest her head on his chest, her body pressed up against his side and her hand resting on his chest, fingers gently tracing a circle on his skin.
“I like you better this way, you know,” she said quietly, sighing as she cuddled up against him. It was on their first “date”, watching the movie in the common room, that Kate learned she found snuggling with him extremely comforting. The sound of his heartbeat beneath her ear gave her a sense of peace she couldn’t explain, but it soothed her.
“You’re a lot easier to deal with this way. You’re not unpredictable, I know what to do when you’re still.”
She sighed once again, fingers moving in a lazy fashion, back and forth, in a self soothing manner.
“I’m not sure how I ended up needing you so much. Do you know how scary that is? I’ve never needed people before. I’ve never wanted people the way I want you. You mess things up so much, and I don’t know what to do with mess. Things with Carl were so much easier. There were no complications. Everything with Carl went so smoothly I constantly wonder why I didn’t stay in Sweden with him. I could have had the perfect life.”
Her legs ended up tangling with his, her cold toes curling in the fabric of his pajama pants. If he woke up she’d just pretend she rolled over in her sleep. Her bed wasn’t so big that the action wasn’t plausible. She hoped he’d stay asleep. This was far more relaxing than she’d thought it would be. It was also probably creepy on some level.
“Oh God, I’m being creepy, aren’t I? I’m sorry, Jack. Well, only a little bit sorry. You did eat my string cheese.”
It was the influx of body heat and solidity of Kate’s form that awoke him completely. Had she not moved as close as she did, he might have stayed lost in between the conscious and subconscious world. Instead, her warmth and length pressed to his side caused him to open his eyes, the ceiling dark and looming above him. Jack remained motionless as she spoke, catching the end of something about him making a mess of things and far more about a man named Carl--who was Carl?--than he wanted to hear at two in the morning. Or was it three? Jack had no idea at this point. He let his eyes close as Kate continued her impromptu soliloquy, mouth curving in a gentle, small smile. She probably thought she was being sneaky, waiting until he was asleep before she sprung on him, plastered to him like she’d been on more than one occasion, save this one involving more clothes than situations with the two of them alone usually did.
Well, he’d fool her. It was interesting to see what she’d say about him when she thought he couldn’t hear, or at least could not retain the private information she was spewing, using the darkness as a cloak of security and comfort. But the darkness wasn’t enough to muffle the sound of her confessions.
It also wasn’t enough to keep Kate’s words from warming Jack in a manner that had nothing to do with her close to him physically, though he appreciated what she was saying through her body language alone--her head resting securely upon his chest, a weight he in no way minded, her legs comfortably meshing with his. He didn’t want to disturb this moment, in all honesty, and it would’ve been nice to fall back to sleep like this, the two of them wordlessly communicating for the rest of the night. But Kate had to mention the string cheese he’d eaten before heading upstairs to tend to his usual bathroom related routines and then come into her room to hit the sack. This brought near silent laughter from him, shoulders moving upwards in good humor.
“It was good string cheese. Your mom did tell me to make myself at home. I like having a snack before bedtime,” he mused in an idle fashion, keeping his voice down so as to not startle Kate into moving away from him. Jack let the hand upon his stomach stray upwards, covering her restless one with his own. “Stay by me like this. Just for tonight.”
Kate wasn’t the only one who found being underneath the cover of darkness an easier way to say what in harsh daylight might sound otherwise utterly ridiculous.
Kate froze when his shoulders started to move, and sat up completely when he started to speak. The embarrassment she had hoped to avoid earlier in the evening managed to find her anyway. She stared at him, slack jawed and entirely unsure of what to say. How much had he heard? Had he only heard the portion about the string cheese? She could only hope that was all he heard, otherwise, she would be completely, and utterly humiliated.
“You were sleeping,” she hissed at him, eyes traveling between his face and his hand, now covering hers. She made no move to remove it, but she studied it carefully. His invitation was very inviting, and she would happily give into it and settle down at his side from the night. She had to have him answer for his deception, first.
“I told you to say something to me if you were awake. You didn’t say anything.”
In a harsh motion, Kate disrupted the moment further, taking away the warmth she emitted by abruptly sitting up and, in all likelihood, glaring down at him. He couldn’t read her expression clear enough in the dark, but he’d known Kate for too many years not to at least have a general idea of what conflicting emotions must have been traveling across her face. Jack stroked her hand with his thumb--interesting how she hadn’t moved her hand from his chest; he’d take that as a good sign that he wasn’t completely in the dog house--and grinned at her accusation.
“I didn’t hear you say that. I was still half asleep, how could I have heard? Come on, lay back down. I’m tired.” He sank further into his pillow, making it clear he had no plans of moving from his spot, nor did he have any intention of allowing this minor trouble to ruin his entire night.
It wasn’t as if he was flat-out lying (he may have heard more than he let on, but he certainly hadn’t heard everything, not if Kate was so flustered; Jack was a bit put out that he must have missed something particularly juicy, but surely whatever it was would be brought to the light in the future. For now, it could wait.).
His thumb began to move, and it distracted her. His soothing movement had replaced her own self soothing movements on his chest. She still felt on edge about being caught, but she felt the tension easing out of her little by little.
“How much did you hear?”
Her tone conveyed what her face could not in the dark. She was uncomfortable. She felt exposed knowing she had been caught, and there was no way she could lay back down until she could regain a sense of comfort. If Jack had heard everything she said, it would put him at an advantage. Kate was not emotionally or mentally able to completely be in sync with someone yet. Allowing herself to feel anything at all was a new thing for her. Jack’s arrival back into her life had thrown her into an intense crash course. If he had only heard the cheese remark, she could easily lay back down and settle beside him, right where she wanted to be. If he had heard more, she would have to separate herself from him. She would have to take space to recompose herself and find a new balance.
“Enough to know I should have stayed asleep. You’re that sore about a few sticks of string cheese?” It wasn’t hard to affect a playful lilt to his voice, for it was not completely dishonest of a feeling. Kate wouldn’t let the littlest thing go, and really, he supposed, he would have to repay her somehow. But that was best done in the day time hours, not when he was perfectly cozy and as ready as he could be to tackle whatever visions his dreams might bring him. Maybe with Kate nearby he wouldn’t be as bothered by the darker memories that seeped into the realm of his subconscious.
It was a pleasant thought, if nothing else. And he wouldn’t turn down the chance to have her next to him, despite their agreement earlier in the week to give each other space. There was nothing wrong with doing this, however. It was nothing but the most basic of comforts, and with Kate, as were many things, it was effortlessly natural. Hopefully she’d be satisfied with his answer. Jack wasn’t in the mood to run around in circles with Kate, especially at her parent’s house. With them, little things often blew up into much bigger things, and if they allowed that to happen here, of all places, their parents would quickly be informed of the truth--the truth which did not seem to matter as much in dark, as was obvious by Kate’s gradual move closer to him until she’d fitted herself neatly to his side.
There was a long moment of absolute stillness as Kate’s mind worked. It appeared he only heard the stuff about the string cheese. Now she was going to have to either separate herself from him and go back to the standards they set earlier in the week, or make the choice to lay down at his side. She couldn’t blame it on rolling over in her sleep anymore, she had been caught.
She laid down, placing her head back on his chest and tangling her legs with his once again. She huffed and nuzzled her cheek against him as she settled, her body now pressed against his once more.
“I told you to leave my string cheese alone. You sure you only ate one?”
“Three, actually,” he admitted, the smile on his face surely coming across in his tone. He made a small murmur of approval when Kate finally chose to assume her previous position instead of going back to the other side of the bed. Here was where she belonged, no matter that she was still harping about the matter of simple sticks of cheese being consumed without her explicit permission. She fit to him like this as easily as she did in more intimate of embraces. It was right and that’s ultimately what mattered. Jack didn’t need to question why any longer, he merely had grown to accept this in the past month.
“I’ll pay you back,” Jack said offhandedly, bringing his hand up to smooth back Kate’s hair, no longer finding it necessary to more or less hold onto her hand as a way of keeping her next to him. “But stop thinking about the cheese. Go to sleep.”
She hated that he had figured out the hair petting trick. It made things so easy for him. She closed her eyes and drew him closer to her, hugging him tightly to her like a well loved teddy bear.
“You can take me to the store tomorrow. Goodnight Jack.”