InsaneJournal

Log: Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon
Who: Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon
Where: Gotham City
When: Sunday, May 23rd--following Jason/Babs scene
Summary: Dick helps a panicked Babs following a troubling anonymous phone call.


Barbara felt sick to her stomach. In spite of all she had done over the last two years to keep out the bad thoughts, some emotional wounds bled more than others. The tears hadn’t stopped yet in the few minutes since she’d disconnected from her mystery caller, and her whole body was shivering violently as though she were cold. Drops of sweat formed on her brow. She wouldn’t let her mind be lost again. She couldn’t, but then she felt it happening.

“Just need...lie down...” she wheezed to herself. Her chest felt so tight like someone was bearing down on her lungs. She went to push herself forward, but her hand missed the wheel. She slipped sideways out of her chair, collapsing onto the floor. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, and all she wanted to do was get up and run far away. But that was impossible.

The last few days had gone by in a blur. His body and mind were still recovering from the 48 hour world tour he undertook to retrieve his missing sidekick. Dick was use to this -- most of his adult life was spent in a constant state of sleep deprivation. It was par for the course. Tonight was different. Tonight sleep had eluded him and as he lay awake in bed, bad feelings began to set in on him. They dug their claws into his psyche and opened old wound, dragging his most recent failures to the surface. Grayson tried his best to get the oppressive emotions in check but like it failed, like it always did. The acrobat just had to get out of the house.

Dick was quite certain that Damian was use to his coming and going at odd hours of the night so he didn’t bother moving around the house in dead silence. It didn’t take him long to get dressed and get out on the empty streets. The high pitched whine of his motorcycle washed over him and acted as a buffer. The hours seemed to tick by and as he took in the familiar twists and turns of the highway, his mind drifted into blissful silence. Cognitive thought didn’t seem to kick back in until he found himself roaring by The Clocktower. It seemed his subconscious was trying to tell him something..

Dick pounded his way up the steps to the inner sanctum of Oracle, world renown information broker and current owner of Dick Grayson’s heart. His knuckles rapped on her door twice and waited for some sign. There was no response. Odd. He slipped back down the stairs and minutes later he was crawling into Oracle’s command center. He dropped to the floor in silence. “Babs?” He called out into the darkness.

The room was full of the soft white hum of electronics, which ran near constantly, but softly mixing with their buzz was the whimpering moan of Barbara crying on the floor. When she heard her name, she lifted her head a fraction of an inch before slumping back against the ground, her body shivering savagely. Her heart felt like it was going to burst, but somehow she managed to call out to him. “Here...”

Every fibre of his being was alive and alert for any sound, his mental processes filtering out the hum of Oracle’s machinery. Something was wrong and Dick wanted nothing more than to immediately rush to Barbara’s side but his training took over. He moved forward cautiously, checking every corner and shadow as he went. When he saw Barbara his pulse quickened and he dropped to the floor next to her. “Oh no.. Babs!”

Dick checked her for any sign of attack or injury. “Babs, Are you alright?”

Barbara hadn’t been attacked--at least not anywhere physical. She was having a full blown panic attack, and the logical part of her mind knew that she needed to try and calm down, especially to save face in front of Dick. Of course, that logical part of her head was being battered by the larger, currently manic part. She squeezed her eyes shut and grit her teeth. “I...I’ll be...god. Oh god.”

She seemed alright. Not just alright but perfectly fine. It wasn’t a physical attack because Barbara wasn’t the type of woman to take a beating without laying her opponent out right next to her. Something else had gone down here. Dick settled himself down onto the floor right next to her and slid a hand under her shoulders. Slowly and carefully he lifted Barbara off the floor, pulling her close to him. “Babs.. Shhh. It’s okay.”

Pushing away the dread was a little easier in Dick’s arms. He was holding her close enough to give her a good measure of comfort. Had it been anybody else, she might have rejected the gesture, but this was somewhere she had always felt at ease. It took a few minutes for her to return to a calm state, but eventually she did, feeling pangs of embarrassment. Even in the dark days in the hospital, she had done her best to stay strong and keep everyone out from the vulnerable parts of her inner workings--even Dick. “I’m sorry...you really didn’t need to see that.”

Something had upset Barbara, that much was obvious, and Dick used to take pride in his ability to take away her pain. This was of course before he began adding to her problems instead of relieving them. But there, on the floor, it felt like every problem between them had melted away. Her body and warmth against him brought about an old ache deep inside that signified one thing: He missed holding her. There wasn’t much he could do for her when he didn’t know the problem so he just wrapped his arms around her and rested his cheek against her head, a clear sign that he was there for her. “It’s alright Babs.”

Barbara smiled at that. “Did you switch bodywash? I like it.” She laughed a little, tipping her head back until her nose was against his cheek. She tapped a little kiss there. “Speaking of bodywash...I think I need to shower. You really don’t want to keep holding onto shaky sweaty me.” She leaned over, reaching for her chair. She wanted to justify what had just happened to him, but it still felt so fresh. She tried to sound as flippant as she could as she did explain it. “I got a weird call tonight. There’s a recording saved to my desktop if you want to take a listen...”

Dick’s smile was genuine, the first in the days since he brought Damian back home. “I did. Hours of research led me to believe it would allow me to produce two tickets from a seashell.” His tone was serious but the smile gave him away. “I never mind before.” He replied before planting a kiss at her hairline. Normally Dick was very hesitant to give Babs any sort of help for fear of another brutal tongue lashing. This night he made an exception and he lifted her up off the ground and placed her in the chair. “I’ll give it a listen.”

Barbara rolled her eyes at the saucy remark, but she gave a little smile all the same. While her pride gave a little shout of protest at being lifted up, another part of Babs appreciated his taking care of her and making sure she was okay. She had forgotten what a relief it could be to let responsibility fall onto someone else for a little while--it had been so long since she’d allowed herself to let go. “I’ll be back,” she murmured, wheeling her way to her quarters. A nice hot shower would do wonders for her nerves.

Dick watched the retreating form of Barbara’s back until it disappeared into her bedroom. Once she was out of sight he stalked over to her computer, dragging a chair with him. He parked himself down in front of her console and brought up the audio track in question. It took a few keystrokes but finally the brief exchange between Oracle and the person responsible started playing. Something about that voice sounded familiar. With another few keystrokes he set the incoming audio on a loop and allowed his eyes to shut. He knew this voice but how?

Barbara took a longer shower than she usually would have, giving Dick ample time to listen to the recording. She wasn’t ready to hear it again, unwilling to suffer the possibility of another panic attack. She changed and found herself putting up makeup. She realized it was a little bit of a silly gesture--it was really late and she’d just have to wash it off again when he left. Still, she felt like she wanted to make up for how he’d seen her before.

“Did you want coffee? Because I could put a pot on,” she called out loudly as she wheeled back into the main room. It was her way of warning him to finish up what he was doing.

The message was loud and clear and Dick quickly silenced the insensitive voice with a tap on the keys. He pushed back away from her desk and carried the chair back to where he found it. “No thanks. It usually makes me jittery.” He offered by way of explanation. Hadn’t this whole thing started with an inability to sleep? Grayson picked out a nice spot against the counter to wait for her to return.

She didn’t really feel like coffee either but made the offer out of courtesy. Instead, she wheeled her way to his side where she sat for a moment, hands in her lap, quietly thinking of what to say. “...any thoughts about the recording?” He’d probably come to all the same conclusions he had, but then the caller had been trying to goad her. Maybe he had some more unaffected, level-headed insight into the conversation.

It was with silent apprehension that he watched Babs wheel her way out of her room and over to him. At the moment he was torn between his desire to stay here, to comfort her in every sense of the word and to track down that son of a bitch for messing with his girl friend. “It’s definitely someone we know. That voice was too familiar.” Dick rubbed his chin and tried to keep from staring at Babs. “He wants us to find out his identity. For what though?”

“I wish I knew...” Babs let out a heavy sigh, letting her head tip forward for a moment. “I’ll think more about it tomorrow. My head feels like it’s full of cotton...” She turned her eyes towards him, face quirking into a small smile. Yes, she was embarrassed that he had seen her like that, but she was glad he was there now. She reached out and took his hand.

A cavalcade of memories came rushing back to Dick when Barbara’s hand slipped so comfortably into his. Her soft, warm flesh was exactly what he needed now after that reality check. His thumb caressed the back of her hand and he dropped himself to one knee so that his face was level with hers. That reassuring smile of his came through once more and then with the same reckless abandon that had seen him through so much these last two weeks, he leaned in and kissed her.

Barbara had always loved his smile, and she found herself distracted by it momentarily, which was why she was caught off guard when he kissed her. For once, her mind wasn’t caught up in the ‘what ifs’ of their relationship. She needed him tonight. It was as simple as that. She pressed into the kiss, letting go of his hand and wrapping her arms around his neck. It had been a really long time, but everything still felt so familiar. She smiled against his lips, fingers playing with the long hairs at the back of his neck.

All the worries, stress and pressures of the day seemed to just fade away into background noise when he kissed her. Even the mystery of the anonymous caller didn’t loom into his higher brain function. All that mattered was Babs and the way he felt when he was with her. Like a sixteen year old boy with a hopeless crush. The kiss lasted for some time and instinctively he knew where this was heading. With surprising ease Dick lifted her body for the second time that night and carried her off toward her room.