InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "You're covered in bees!"

Michael B. Gustavson (bonjour_benoit) wrote in mittiligart,
@ 2008-10-13 19:59:00

Current mood:

contemplative

Who: Michael and Hildie, then Hans
Where: The Cinema's back offices
When: Monday, midday
Rating: PG, to start (mild language later in the thread)
(complete)

Michael sat leaned back in his chair, feet propped up on the corner of his exceedingly empty desk. One hand tapped out an absent minded rhythm on the desktop, and the other held a cigarette towards the open window. He hadn't seen Hans since Friday's meeting at the lake, and it bothered him more than it should. It meant that Hans was avoiding him, and that never boded well.

He sighed, and took a long drag on his cigarette, holding the smoke in for a moment before blowing it out slowly towards the window. He wanted to see Hans again, talk to him... kiss him. He thought that maybe, just maybe, they could make something work - they'd have to be discreet, quiet about it, given the town, but Michael thought it could work. Given how Hans was avoiding him - he couldn't even find him at Town Hall this morning - he wasn't sure he was going to get the chance any time soon.

He leaned his head back and sighed again. Why did life have to go and get complicated?

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	valkyrie_maiden 2008-10-13 10:19 pm UTC (link)
	Hildie walked into Michael's office with an armful of papers for him to sign. Why did he insist on leaving these things until the last minute? "Michael, I need you to -- ugh! I wish you wouldn't smoke in here. It smells disgusting." She stood in front of his desk, one hand on a cocked hip. "And you've hardly touched your lunch." (Reply to this) (Thread)

	bonjour_benoit 2008-10-13 10:21 pm UTC (link)
	Michael turned his head to face his sister. "My building, my office, my filthy habit." He poked the take-out tray on his desk with one hand. "And I'm not particularly hungry." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	valkyrie_maiden 2008-10-13 10:25 pm UTC (link)
	She sighed heavily. Hildie disliked her brother's moods - she never knew what brought them on, and never knew how to get rid of them. "Well, you need to eat something. I don't trust you to adequately feed yourself when I'm not around." She moved the tray to the side for the moment and put the papers down in small stacks. "I need you to sign these." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

bonjour_benoit
2008-10-13 10:30 pm UTC (link)

Michael sighed and sat up, dropping his legs back down to the floor. He propped his cigarette (his fifth of the day, Hildie would be so disappointed) in the ashtray on his desk and grabbed a pen.

"I trust you're not skimming off the top," he said lightly, glancing over the paperwork. He was rewarded with a soft chuckle from Hildie, and he signed the first few papers. One paper, halfway down the first stack made him pause. He looked up at Hildie.

"I told you, we're not doing Sound of Music this year. Too depressing for a fair." He took the paper out of the stack and began tearing it up.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	valkyrie_maiden 2008-10-14 09:49 am UTC (link)
	"It's not depressing, it's an uplifting story of hope in a time of war." She sighed and gave up as Michael started ripping the paper. She watched him take out another copy of the form and wondered where he'd gotten it. "Field of Dreams, I suppose it is, then?" she asked as he started filling it out. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bonjour_benoit 2008-10-14 10:01 am UTC (link)
	Michael didn't bother to look up. "Field of Dreams it is," he confirmed, filling out the form. "I don't know what you have against it. It's a good movie." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	valkyrie_maiden 2008-10-14 10:55 am UTC (link)
	Hildie sighed and crossed her arms. "I don't have anything against it, I just like Sound of Music better." She shrugged. "People have different tastes." She sat in the chair opposite the desk and eyed her brother carefully. She may not ever figure out her brother's moods, but that doesn't mean she couldn't try. "Something's bothering you. Spill." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

bonjour_benoit
2008-10-14 11:04 am UTC (link)

Michael glanced up as Hildie sat down. Normally when she pulled her obstinate thing, he had a hard time not telling her everything, but this wasn't really something he could discuss with her. Not yet, anyway.

"Hildie, I love you, you know that, but honestly, you don't need to know everything about me." He snorted, and turned back to the paperwork. "I'd like to keep some modicum of mystery in our relationship."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	valkyrie_maiden 2008-10-14 11:12 am UTC (link)
	She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "You're my brother. We passed any sense of 'mystery' a couple decades ago." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bonjour_benoit 2008-10-14 11:45 am UTC (link)
	"I suppose you have a point there," he said with a smile as he started on the last stack of papers. "However, this doesn't concern you, so you don't need to worry." He signed the last paper with a miniature flourish and handed them all back to her. "Honestly, I'll be fine," he said when he saw the disbelieving look on her face. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	valkyrie_maiden 2008-10-15 04:29 pm UTC (link)
	She still didn't believe him, and she didn't think he was going to tell her any time soon. She took the papers from him and decided to try once more for good measure. "Regardless of whether or not you think I need to worry, I will, so you might as well tell me and save me the hassle." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bonjour_benoit 2008-10-15 04:53 pm UTC (link)
	He smiled indulgently as he picked up his cigarette again and took a long drag. He swung his feet up again and leaned back into his chair as he let it out slowly. "Hildie, no. I am not telling you. It honestly doesn't concern you." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	valkyrie_maiden 2008-10-15 05:28 pm UTC (link)
	She sighed. "Fine. I suppose you're allowed to keep some things to yourself." She stood up, and leaned over the desk to press a kiss to his forehead. "Eat your lunch," she said, smiling at the small laugh she got, and walked out of the room. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

bonjour_benoit
2008-10-15 10:51 pm UTC (link)

He shook his head and chuckled as she left. He took one last drag on the cigarette and stubbed it out.

He eyed the tray, poking it with the plastic fork. Sighing, he managed a few more bites, making a significant dent in it overall, and tossed it in the trash.

He leaned back, and idly fiddled with the half-empty pack of cigarettes. After a few moments, he slid one out and lit it, taking a long, slow drag on it. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes for a moment.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	heil_hans 2008-10-16 12:39 pm UTC (link)
	Hans' sole purpose in going to the cinema was to find out the final decision on the movie for the festival. That was it. He would go in, pick up the paperwork, and leave. Quickly. He kept repeating this to himself like a mantra as he walked in to the building. In. Pick up Papers. Leave. No other reason he was here. None whatsoever. (Reply to this) (Thread)

bonjour_benoit
2008-10-16 12:44 pm UTC (link)

Michael was still in his chair, leaning back and legs up, with cigarette in hand and eyes closed, when he heard soft footsteps at the door. Hildie was wearing heels when she came in earlier, so those were definitely not her footsteps. Besides, she wouldn't be nearly so tentative about walking into his office.

"Decide to stop avoiding me, then?" he asked, raising the cigarette to his lips.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heil_hans 2008-10-16 12:57 pm UTC (link)
	Hans quirked a brow. "Avoiding you? Please. I spent the weekend working, thank you very much." He stood in the door frame, looking vaguely annoyed. "And while working this weekend, I noticed that something was not in order with the festival paperwork - your form. We have not received it, and it is overdue." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bonjour_benoit 2008-10-16 01:00 pm UTC (link)
	Michael raised an eyebrow in response, and blew out smoke. "Really? Didn't see you in Town Hall this morning." He dropped the subject, and moved on. "Hildie has the form, along with masses of other paperwork. I filled it out this morning after she tried to slip Sound of Music past me." He took another drag of the cigarette. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heil_hans 2008-10-16 01:19 pm UTC (link)
	Hans wrinkled his nose. He never did like smoking- dirty habit. "I see," he said. "Thank you for vetoing the musical nonsense. Field of Dreams, then?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bonjour_benoit 2008-10-16 01:25 pm UTC (link)
	Michael nodded, and stubbed out the cigarette. No more for the day. Really. He tossed the pack into a drawer and slid it shut. "Field of Dreams, although I am still considering Meet Me In St. Louis for next year." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

heil_hans
2008-10-16 01:28 pm UTC (link)

"Nothing good is in St. Louis," Hans said, "so there is no reason to meet anyone there and therefore still no need for a musical. So Hilde has the paperwork, then? I suppose I will catch up with it when I get back to the office..."

He could leave now. Really. That was his entire purpose of being here, and now it was over, so he could go back to his office and leave this all be. Only his feet weren't moving.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bonjour_benoit 2008-10-16 01:33 pm UTC (link)
	Michael snorted, then propped an elbow on his desk, and rested his chin on his hand. "The more you complain about a musical, the more I want to screen one simply to annoy you." He smiled over the edge of his hand. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heil_hans 2008-10-16 01:39 pm UTC (link)
	"I am so glad to be a continual source of amusement for you," Hans said, followed by a dry chuckle. He brought his hands together and cracked his knuckles. "Tell me, how is your lip?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bonjour_benoit 2008-10-16 01:45 pm UTC (link)
	Michael ran his fingers over his mouth without thinking about it. "Nearly healed. Hildie thought I'd nicked myself shaving this morning. Your jaw?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heil_hans 2008-10-16 01:49 pm UTC (link)
	"Fine, fine. Never better," Hans said. Truth was that he recovered quickly from injuries these days. "I should apologize for starting that bit of business. It will not happen again...at least, I will not be the cause of such trouble." And by that, he meant more than just the punch. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bonjour_benoit 2008-10-16 01:54 pm UTC (link)
	Michael watched Hans carefully. He was backtracking so hard, he'd sprain something. "It wasn't trouble." He looked him in the eye, and didn't look away. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heil_hans 2008-10-16 05:35 pm UTC (link)
	Hans looked back at him, his eyes steely. "No? Then you tell me - what was it?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bonjour_benoit 2008-10-16 05:38 pm UTC (link)
	The corner of his mouth quirked up a little, and he smoothed it out before Hans could get mad. "The start of something, perhaps," he said quietly. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

heil_hans
2008-10-16 05:42 pm UTC (link)

"And there at least we agree, Gustavson - the start of something indeed. The start of trouble- the likes of which neither of us needs," Hans said, then folded his arms.

"Think of where we live. Who we are. And that is without you even knowing the specific circumstances of my life - which, if you knew, you would likely already realize this is a ridiculous notion."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

bonjour_benoit
2008-10-16 05:49 pm UTC (link)

Michael tilted his head and looked at Hans with something akin to curiosity.

"Let's see - you're significantly older than you look, and given your incredible distaste for Sound of Music, I'm going to assume you were an adult - at the least - during World War Two. Varner is a German family name, and given what admittedly little I know about that era and German sensibilities, I'm going to hazard a guess that you served in the Nazi military, and not necessarily by choice or because of any sort of agreement with the party line..." he trailed off and paused for a moment.

"Am I getting warm?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heil_hans 2008-10-16 06:01 pm UTC (link)
	How could he put all that together? Hans just started at him incredulously, that being an answer in itself really. After the initial immobility, he managed a slight, curt nod. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

bonjour_benoit
2008-10-16 06:08 pm UTC (link)

Michael stood and walked slowly around his desk. He walked past Hans, and closed the door softly. He moved a couple steps back, and stood facing Hans.

"That's the past, as far as I'm concerned. As long as I've known you, you've been a good man. That hasn't changed. From what I can tell, you don't believe in the Nazi party line, and likely never have, and well, Hans... if you think that that's all it's going to take to drive me away screaming... you've got another thing coming."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

heil_hans
2008-10-16 06:12 pm UTC (link)

"What matter is it," Hans said finally, his voice sounding to himself as if it came from a great distance, "if a man believes in something or not if that is what he must do to survive? Ideology matters little to the blood on my hands..."

He held up his hands. "For sixty years now, I have seen these hands covered in the blood of the innocents who died for my self-preservation. Seen my reflection as it looked that day..."

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	bonjour_benoit 2008-10-16 06:38 pm UTC (link)
	Michael reached up and took Hans' hands in his own, lowering them so they were no longer in eye-level. "'Following orders' may not seem like much of a defense, but Hans, it does make a difference. If you truly regret it, if you want to repent, you can. Not in Hail Marys or Our Fathers or anything like that.... in good deeds, in helping people." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

heil_hans
2008-10-16 06:44 pm UTC (link)

Hans' first thought was to pull away. The closeness of another living being was almost unbearable, as it had been so long since he'd let anything or anyone come close to him.

Instead he closed his eyes, allowing himself at least some internal space. "How can I help others when I cannot even help myself? Please, - just let it be. There is no good that will come of this..."

He couldn't allow himself to believe otherwise.

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	bonjour_benoit 2008-10-17 11:36 am UTC (link)
	Michael thought for a moment. How to put this into words? "Help yourself by helping others. Regain your belief in yourself inch by inch." He stepped just a little bit closer, shifting his weight. "Good can happen anytime and anywhere. You just have to let it." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heil_hans 2008-10-17 12:06 pm UTC (link)
	Hans resisted the urge to laugh, just barely. A small bitter sound emerged from deep in his throat. "And if I - what, if I click my heels together three times, I will go home, right? And if I believe in faeries, the magic will continue and so forth.... Christ, Michael. This is not one of your movies..." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

bonjour_benoit
2008-10-17 12:25 pm UTC (link)

Michael finally dropped Hans' hands and looked at him with a disbelieving stare.

"Why on Earth are you so pessimistic and fatalistic about every goddamn thing?" He turned away and walked a few steps, then turned back, running a hand through his hair. "Why does every reference to something remotely good and decent mean I'm living in a fairytale? Good things do happen, regardless of whether or not you ever see them! Some people actually enjoy life, Hans. You're just obviously not one of them." He was getting more and more agitated, and he didn't even want to think about what this was doing to his blood pressure, especially with all the cigarettes he'd had this morning. He sighed and shook his head.

"Good exists. Hope exists. It is not idealistic or stupid or anything like that to believe in it. I am not living in a fantasy. I am living. You, Hans? You're existing." He sighed again, and slowly walked back towards his desk.

"If you don't want to take a risk, or try believing in something beyond your despairing and misanthropic worldview, fine. Don't. Turn around, and walk away." He sat down, suddenly tired and bone-weary. He rubbed his forehead, then rested his chin on his hand and looked at Hans.

"What are you waiting for?"

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heil_hans
2008-10-18 02:27 pm UTC (link)

Hans walked over to the desk and helped himself to a butterscotch from the container he spotted there rather than respond to that tirade. He carefully opened it, then neatly folded the wrapping before placing the candy in his mouth.

"Butterscotch is my favorite flavor," he offered. Not exactly a declaration that Michael was right - but at least it was an admission that he found something enjoyable.

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	bonjour_benoit 2008-10-18 02:40 pm UTC (link)
	Michael watched him walk forward, and take the candy, then looked up at Hans with a rather unimpressed look on his face. "Because butterscotch totally proves you're not pessimistic or fatalistic in the least," he deadpanned, fighting the urge to roll his eyes - it would not help. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heil_hans 2008-10-18 02:43 pm UTC (link)
	Hans shrugged. "I never claimed to have anything to prove to you," he said, and set the wrapper down on the desk before turning on his heel and heading for the door. "Good day, Gustavson." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bonjour_benoit 2008-10-18 02:48 pm UTC (link)
	He sighed softly, watching him head for the door. "Maybe not to me, but this town deserves better," he mumbled under his breath, opening a drawer and pulling out last week's sales reports, intending to go through them like Hildie always wanted him to. (Reply to this) (Parent)