And there are really only three possible responses that the aca-fan can make to that:
No, there's at least one more: 4) I'm sorry I was doing something that makes you uncomfortable. Is there some aspect of this that could be better expressed to make you able to participate in this discussion?
Not, "I will stop now," but "I may be willing to change somewhat; please let's discuss how feasible that is."
And I don't see that. In any of the wankstorm discussions, so that's not unique to acafandom. What is common in the aca discussions but not many of the others, is that only one side is claiming discomfort and exclusion... I don't see acafen saying "I feel hurt and intimidated by the squeefen/cosplay/gamer/whatever discussions."