Nothing says "welcome home" quite like poorly-spelled death threats painted on bricks thrown at my head. Regarding which, I appreciate the effort and planning put into this attempt at intimidation, but the execution was severely lacking. It's as though the good people of Fermont forget what my mutation actually is.

This town is terrible. I do not recommend it to anyone, and I will be back in New York as soon as I have fulfilled my obligations here. Back to my nefarious gay mutant agenda of planning French lessons, running my company, and attempting to teach children not to fly into walls. Tremble, humans.

I guess I can't mope around forever. I should find myself a job or something. Maybe put my degree to good use finally.

>> picture attachment
>> Is this the hot babe?
>> She's pretty good.
>> Can't beat a 93% rating.

[Forum post for Xavier's staff/students/associates]

I will be teaching a few classes of basic and advanced field first aid at the school over the next few months. I was hoping to gauge interest in either class and then we could see when would be a good time? Basic first aid will take about 6 hours. Advanced field first aid will take 20 hours so not sure if that's better done as 3 days or 4?

I'm also open to helping people on an individual basis for meditation as a way to calm emotions that may or may not influence your powers. Let me know if you're potentially interested in this.

As I conclude this summer's endless book tour, I returned to my apartment in Montréal this weekend to find that my one lonely houseplant is still alive despite many weeks of neglect. This is what true victory feels like. Be proud of me, Ororo.

I'll be in Montréal through Thursday, then up to my first home in Fermont for a day. Fermont is a mining town in northeastern Québec: cold, isolated, lonely, provincial. They tend not to care for mutants or gays there, but I am the town's most famous son, so this should be exciting in myriad ways. Then back to New York in time for the beach trip and a hot date.

Oh yes, and my agent would like me to remind you all to go and buy my book, Born Normal. It's an inspirational, daring instant classic of a memoir with a buoyant message of hope and resilience for anyone who's ever felt less than normal. This is from the back cover blurb, so you know it must be true. Also, proceeds go to charities in support of children and mutants. Think of the mutant children and pick up a copy at any discerning purveyor of literature near you.

Beach harem, huh? You did know that was going to be retweeted, right?

Given the excitement of the past few weeks, I think we're all in need of a vacation.

With that in mind, all staff, students, and consultants and invited to an outing to Calf Pasture Beach. There will be food provided (Staff: Yes, the food will be provided by us. We're having a potluck), and we'll have transportation for all who wish to go. It will be Monday, August 29th.

Any questions?

[Professor Xavier]

I apologize for my silence; this job you gave me is a bit overwhelming at times. Speaking of that, I may need a bit of advice.

I require assistance.

Of the advice kind. I mean, I am looking for that. Advice.

On dating specifically. Like... where to go in the city and what to do. Please.

If they can be interesting/educational/historic or some kind of informative date setting also. I believe those would be helpful.