[ it's been a very, very long night, but Suzaku is still in the Defense Force Headquarters the next morning. earlier than usual, in fact, since he skipped his morning swim. and breakfast.

he'll be pacing HQ, looking more than a little bit run-down, all morning. ]


((ooc: Joining the DF today? Hoping to start a task force? Just looking to offer condolences because of how sucky yesterday was? :D Suzaku was off the communicators after last night's disaster, but he's here and physically available now~.))

Good morning, inmates, it is the 102nd day of the third generation. There were no fatalities or life-threatening injuries sustained yesterday and Princess Euphemia has been arrested by the Defense Force. There is no need to be overly concerned.

After much deliberation, and as St. Valentine's Day will be observed soon, I have decided to amend the ban on sexual relations, to a certain extent. There is now a registration system in place, and inmates will be able to apply at the kiosk to form a sexual partnership. Permits will only be issued to inmates determined to be emotionally capable of a healthy partnership of that nature, and interested parties would be required to submit to a non-invasive sterilization procedure to prevent reproduction.

In order to prevent sex-motivated crime, an inmate will only be allowed to seek this permit once for the duration of their incarceration and with only one person. It would be a decision akin to marriage, and if the partnership is dissolved, no future ones will be permitted. As it is a choice that will greatly impact the rest of your life here, all interested parties are urged to consider this option carefully.

Inmates Miles Edgeworth and Yui Hirasawa, your requests can be retrieved at the entrance to Sector 0.

[strained voice post, filtered from Euphie]

As I'd like to hope I don't need to tell anyone after that post, stay away from Euphemia if you are Japanese! She is a teenage girl with long pink hair, and she's under a spell -- a curse that forces her to attack and kill anyone she knows or believes to be Japanese. She's currently in the shelter and is heading for Sector 4, so if you're in that area, avoid her at all costs! She can and will attack anyone who gets in her way.

I need the defense force to take her into custody immediately, she is a danger to herself and others in this state, but her condition can be fixed! We just need to stop, disarm, and restrain her before she hurts someone, or engages someone who will hurt her.

--Please.

[The video clicks on to a smiling face that should be familiar to most of the dome.]

Hello! I wonder if I could have everyone's attention.

[She tilts her head, looking fondly out into the video audience.] I need some help. You see, [She turns the device so that the shelter stairwell is visible and at the bottom is a redhead—twisted and lying limply.] Orihime is blocking the stairs, and I wouldn't want anyone to trip and get hurt! Could someone remove the body? Watch your step please!

Acumen took the gun I was using, but I still need to kill the rest of the Japanese here. So, if you're Japanese please go ahead and kill yourself or meet me by the koi pond. I'll drown everyone just as fast as I can.

Oh, I hope the fish don't mind.

( OOC )

Well. [ the strains of a voice which is evidently more high-pitched than it usually would be, between each word the hints of a controlled and well-thought out panic ] Er, yes. Well! Acumen.

[ A deep breath and suddenly: a million words, though slow and practiced ]

Whilst I can’t totally contradict the crimes you have charged me, I can point out a number of flaws in your "argument", mostly regarding your definition of "known criminal".

Furthermore, rather, [ gaining confidence, and with it, gaining speed ] the argument here is that I am not under your jurisdiction and, thus, not someone you are allowed to imprison, nor do you have the right to confiscate my belongings- and when [ peppered with anger ] has it ever been morally just to kidnap and imprison someone without a fair trial during a ministry-implemented exam period!

This is a complete breach of rights and as an [ almost-silent snort ] authority figure, I would have thought your priorities would be  imprisoning real criminals- of which there are a fair few skulking about, I'm sure you know - and not just people who- who, who had to- who were morally obliged to smuggle a stupid-. Well.

At any rate, [ through thin lips, and finally her steam begins to escape her ] I look forward to proving my innocence officially.

[It took some time before this side of the video feed offered a clear connection. If not then anyone looking would've only seen random flickering and "hello?", "... is this thing working?" until the face of a young man came into view.]

... Whoa. This is amazing! Haha~ I know someone who'd be all over this thing if he can get his hands on it! And won't you look at this? A ball and chain! Now that's prison-like!

[No sarcasm there! Tap-tapping on the communicator.]

Hi, I'm Ken! I'm ah... new here! Thank you for the welcome basket! And --

[The sound of incoming robots are heard, and he looks at them.]

Oh hey! Hi there uh, you part of the entertainment-- OW! That HURTS DAMN IT!

[Sort of. Dodging. The taser. Or trying to in his restrained state, until he raises his hands in surrender.]

Alright, alright! I'll go with you already, jeez!

[And cue awkward looking at the video channel after his flaily outburst, face red. He waves a little~]

Aha. Sorry 'bout that guys, ah... do any of you have an idea where these robots are taking me?
 

Hmmmmmm~! [Not even remotely flustered.] I see how it is now.

[There's a rustle of the pamphlet in the background, and he chuckles to himself.] How charitable of you, providing this data so freely.

Alternate universes, artificial intelligences, and complimentary snacks, is it? This is just fascinating.