InsaneJournal

[private/open action]
[ You closed yourself off to it, which was why it wouldn't respond to you anymore. ]

[ Believe what you like, Second Child. But it didn't serve you very well in my world. ]

I'm so sick of it.

[ The most basic form of the Lilim, when their AT Fields have been removed. A liquid we call LCL.]

I'm so sick of it! You don' t know anything! Shut your god damned mouth! Stop acting like you know it all -- you -- you -- FUCKING ANGEL!

[breathing] ........

I couldn't have been replaced. There's just no way. I did my duty, I killed those Angels -- I obeyed them! They chose me back then, me, not -- not him. He's the trash. Not me. I...I...

He's such a liar. There's no way that primordial soup is even true. I wouldn't have let that happen in the first place! Nothing like that could have happened since I'm --

...But I'm not. Not anymore....

Fucking Angel.

...Fucking Kaworu.

I can't even do anything. Not anymore. I don't have my Eva. I don't have the Lance. There's nothing. I should have hit him harder. [....laughter] I wonder -- stupid -- I wonder what stupid Shinji would say if he saw me. Or the First.

[ You are stronger than this. ]

Shut up...shut up. What would you say if you saw Kaworu? I bet you'd get along with him. He's like you. A freak, an angel. I don't even -- you don't even know me. I'm not....that.....strong. ...I need --

[ What's wrong with a little help, Asuka? ]

...What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong. I don't need it. It's worthless. I've already decided that I'll support myself. I've already grown up so -- whatever happens I'll survive.

.......Fucking hell.

-------------

[ Asuka's long since left her room. She's desperate to move about, because if she stays still in bed then she starts thinking and god is she sick of thinking. Instead, she lies on the couch in the shelter and pulls out the Jenga pieces. ]

[ look at this kick ass tower. someone has too much time on her hands 8| ]