InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Not hiiieeerrrrr!"

Conrad Weller (edgeofsalvation) wrote in marinasylum,
@ 2012-06-14 20:58:00

Entry tags:

:action, conrad weller, wolfram von bielefeld, yuuri shibuya

[Action | Open] evening
[Conrad's eyes flicker when the dome lights go out, the passage of time having gone unnoticed until now. He has no concern for the time, nor how long he's been kneeling here. His eyes remain focused down into his lap, at the face gazing up at him, framed in wisps of windblown hair. His hand cradles delicate fingers, his careful fingertip tracing the curl of an index finger. The barest touch, slow enough to almost seem still.]

[The face holding his attention is porcelain-white, eyes dull and flat, flawed with tiny fissures. The hand, divorced from the body where it once belonged. Across his lap and spread around in a wide halo are crumbles of white stone -- the same stone that compose the face and hand. Interrupting the silence is a quiet sound. The slightest crackling, like the first drops of rain on an arid tundra.]

[She could easily be mistaken for a fallen statue, as if she were never flesh at all, but for the too-true sadness on the girl's sculpted face, the perfect molding of her hand against his.]

[These few bits of stone are all that remain of Diva. His Diva. And as soon as he moves they too will crumble to dust.]

[So here he will stay, for now. Until she breaks completely, he won't let her go.]

((OOC: Anyone on the DF would certainly have knowledge that Diva attacked someone and Saya was fighting her, if you want to have them show! Apologies in advance for Conrad's general unresponsiveness... ^^;;; ))

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burningpride
2012-06-15 02:54 am UTC (link)

[ Wolfram had arrived late. How inexcusable; he had hoped Saya would contact him, he had fervently wanted to be by Conrad's side knowing this day would soon arrive and yet it had all happened so fast he was unable to do anything. It's terrifying, the uncertainty of not knowing the outcome of the battle, the feeling of useless that is crawling in his skin.

He's feeling too much while not feeling anything at all. He must get there. There is something he can do. But thoughts, feelings and even air come to a sharp halt as soon as he witnesses the scene before him.

Diva?

Is that thing Diva? And is that person... Conrad!?

He would have felt something upon seeing that stone. Relief, fear or even sadness, anything would have been appropriate. However, there is no time to feel or think— in a almost neurotic hurry he yells his brother's name as his legs carry him as fast as they can towards him. ] Conrad!

[ Please be all right. Please. ]

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	edgeofsalvation 2012-06-17 03:50 pm UTC (link)
	[Conrad doesn't look up as he senses and hears his brother approach. He has his own healed-over injuries which Wolfram will doubtless notice, even if Conrad doesn't seem to. They're nothing more than blood stains on his clothing, now, and Diva...] She's gone. [His tone is flat, though there's a hoarseness to his voice that Wolfram may have never heard before.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

burningpride
2012-06-20 03:58 am UTC (link)

I know. [ His own tone is unusual– too plain and even soft.

The wounds are obviously closed, which is a relie in itself, but he know the worrisome wounds are those which can't be seen. What can he do to help Conrad? For now he'll grab a brief piece of dangling clothes, one that is near Conrad's arm and pulls it softly, not knowing if Conrad will be willing to move away from Diva just yet. ]

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	edgeofsalvation 2012-06-20 02:53 pm UTC (link)
	[The tension in Conrad's shoulders piques sharply when Wolfram tugs -- if he moves, Diva will...] I don't know if -- [Of course he knows he can't finish that sentence. He'll live, no matter what. For Yuuri and Wolfram both. It's just that right now, in this precise moment with the last pieces of Diva in his arms, he's not sure if he wants to.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	burningpride 2012-06-20 10:41 pm UTC (link)
	[ His voice becomes a little more stern. ] You must. She is gone— the is no use in staying here. [ He insists with another tug. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

edgeofsalvation
2012-06-20 10:50 pm UTC (link)

[Conrad yanks back against the tug, trying to keep still. He misreads the pressure however, pulling just a hair too hard and Diva's stone fingers crumble in his hand.]

[The arm now free, he allows Wolfram to pull all he wants, but his other arm, the one holding her face, is still.]

I wanted this. [He can't look away from Diva's white, cracked face as he makes his confession.] I planned for this. She loved me and I betrayed her...

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	burningpride 2012-06-26 03:29 am UTC (link)
	[ He releases his arm, realizing it's not going to help much unless Conrad decides to pull away on his own. ] It was something you needed to do. For Yuuri's sake as well as your own. [ His tone, however, is insistent and urging. Move Conrad. Move and leave her behind. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	edgeofsalvation 2012-06-26 09:22 pm UTC (link)
	I -- know. [The admission is difficult, but it helps. A little.] I'm sorry, Wolfram. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	burningpride 2012-06-27 04:51 am UTC (link)
	[ That apology could mean a lot of things: Sorry for folioing Diva. Sorry for being a jerk the other day. Or simply, sorry for everything. Yet, his expression remains unchanging, the frown on his face only slightly knitting his brows even together. ] Now is not the time for that. I'll listen to your apology once you pull away from her! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

edgeofsalvation
2012-07-04 06:33 pm UTC (link)

[His anger flashes, and it's so tempting to let that rather than grief consume him. Even now, Wolfram is demanding he leave Diva, when she's been reduced to a pile of dust because, in part, of Conrad's actions?]

[A deep breath and a sharp reminder of why he did this in the first place keeps him from snapping at his brother, but only just.]

And would that let you forgive me? [He knows it wouldn't. So let him have these few moments of mourning.]

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burningpride
2012-07-05 02:24 am UTC (link)

[ He notices Conrad's flash of anger which in turn aggravates him. Why is he being so stubborn? That pile of dust might once have been Diva but ... she's no longer alive. That woman, who wrecked so muc hook between them, is no longer there. So why must he insist on clinging to her?

She's gone. Conrad is finally free to go back to being his former self.

Such thoughts make his emotions flare, and before he knows it his fist is tightening on Conrad's sleeve as he yells to the other. ] I have already forgiven you, you idiot! [ He is angry at you for other reasons; during the past days Conrad managed to prove he was more than puppet, someone with enough willpower to choose his rightful King over his manipulative mistress. And that was what earned him absolution. ] So get away from her.

She is already gone, Conrad!

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edgeofsalvation
2012-07-05 02:42 am UTC (link)

[Wolfram's words cause a strange mix of relief and anxiety. Choosing his old life -- his proper place -- was a decision made weeks ago, and yet letting Diva go... hurts. It hurts unimaginably.]

[No one could understand that, he supposed.]

[Conrad closes his eyes and says a quick goodbye to Diva, then he relaxes his hand and lets her fall to pieces. He palmed the fossilized tear she'd shed... nothing Wolfram can say will stop him from keeping it, but he hides it to avoid the argument.]

[Wolfram is wrong though, Diva will never be fully gone. Not for him.]

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burningpride
2012-07-11 12:59 am UTC (link)

[ Luckily for him, Wolfram is too mesmerized by the sight of Diva crumbling apart to notice the tear Conrad hid from him.

After some moments have passed, the blonde doesn't utter a word-- he supposes it's fair to allow him a moment of silence. After all, he is finally free from her, so no matter what happens Conrad will finally go back to being the Conrad he used to know.

Even if he feels relieved, he doesn't remove his hold on his sleeve, though. ]

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	edgeofsalvation 2012-07-13 05:00 am UTC (link)
	[It's not as long a moment as Conrad would like, but it will have to do. He turns toward his brother, and away from what's left of Diva.] [He tries to speak, but he can't. He almost can't draw breath. Being without Diva isn't going to be easy, but -- he can do it. He has to.] (Reply to this) (Parent)

demon_king
2012-06-18 04:29 am UTC (link)

[The moment he heard Diva was in a fight he was on his way. He didn't know what he'd find when he'd get there, but he was sure Conrad would be there. Would he be hurt? Would he be angry he came? He only ran faster.

But even then when he finds them it's a peaceful scene and his running tapers off quickly until he is approaching with short, uncertain steps. His eyes are focused on the man, searching his face. He hasn't noticed the rest. Not yet. His voice is quiet when it comes.] Conrad?

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edgeofsalvation
2012-06-18 07:36 pm UTC (link)

[Yuuri. Conrad knows he's on the way long before he appears, and even still once he hears that voice he can't breathe for a long moment. When he finally exhales it's slow, with forced steadiness so as not to jostle -- Diva.]

I'm -- fine, Yuuri. [In case you think the blood on his clothing and skin is an indication otherwise. Or in case the deep sadness in his voice and eyes alarms you.]

[Conrad glances up at Yuuri, the one thing in the dome that could make him look away from what's left of Diva. It feels strange to not be able to smile while doing so.]

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	demon_king 2012-06-24 09:57 pm UTC (link)
	[He keeps moving closer. So much of this is wrong. His already large eyes, widen further. Saying he looked concerned would be an understatement.] What happened? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

edgeofsalvation
2012-06-26 09:19 pm UTC (link)

She's gone. [His voice is utterly, unnaturally flat. And his eyes almost match as he turns them to the stone head resting in his lap. Conrad can't think of anything else to say that could possibly explain what happened here, or what is happening inside him, so he only swallows hard against the despair of losing his Mistress. Yuuri is here, and that more than anything is a reminder that he can't let himself succumb.]

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	demon_king 2012-07-14 02:05 am UTC (link)
	Con...rad... [What is he looking at? That can't be Diva, can it? It's some perfect replica made of something unliving. Not a person. He moves slowly as if afraid to disturb her.] It wasn't...it wasn't supposed to be like that. [He said it so many times. No one needed to die! They just had to get Conrad back. They didn't have to... THIS!] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	edgeofsalvation 2012-07-15 11:12 pm UTC (link)
	It had to be like this. [He wishes it didn't, but it did. Diva wouldn't give him up any other way.] [Very slowly, with exaggerated care, Conrad lowers Diva's head and hand to the ground. Little snapping noises sound as they crack, but he ensures that she won't break before he's ready.] It's the only way she'll be at peace. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	demon_king 2012-07-22 07:53 pm UTC (link)
	[Yuuri's eyes look glassy. His emotions never stray far from the surface after all and as much as he disliked Diva this is all just...too sad. He shivers as he hears the sounds.] Conrad... What... What can I do? (Reply to this) (Parent)

mysterymelody
2012-06-18 05:16 am UTC (link)

[All it took was Diva's broadcast, and perceiving Saya's frequency zipping across several sectors almost immediately after, for her to understand something was happening and that it was in no way a good something. She knows that that Conrad is never far from Diva, that Saya means to kill Diva, and both of these facts mean that someone important was going to be in danger very soon. The Defense Force would certainly react but she doesn't even wait for the call to come up, using the last point Saya had gone past as a guide for now-- after that, she'd have to search. Blind spots couldn't be helped, she had used minimal marking across the dome in a conscious effort to prevent a potential repeat of... last time]

[Is the delay that moderation caused, or simply her hopelessly human speed compared to theirs, the reason everything is long settled by the time she arrives? She doesn't wonder on it nor berate herself for long, though; the only living figure here now is the only one that's her concern, so she can be easier on herself for not making it this time. If he had been in pieces on the ground as well... then, there would be no hope for any forgiveness.

Yet even though she can tell he's not only alive but relatively fine, just the sight of him, unmoving and empty, douses the relief she feels. She recalls Saya's warning as she approaches as noiselessly as she can-- he can likely hear her anyways, but out respect...-- and stands slightly behind him, briefly looking over the cracked stone with a distinct lack of either approval or disapproval that she can only take to mean that she never felt anything for the girl herself, it was really only because of the man holding onto her remains that she even acknowledged her.

Moments pass without even a sound made, though it's not for lack of wanting to speak. But she can only guess at his emotional state to begin with, and what words to say...]

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edgeofsalvation
2012-06-19 05:38 pm UTC (link)

[Uncertain whether to berate Tear for coming or thank her, Conrad remains silent and still for a long stretch. There was a time when he wouldn't have wanted to say anything at all to her, but it was Tear's own actions that showed him that there was more to his life than Diva. Because of the risk she took on him, Conrad will be able to survive this.]

[Even if, in this moment, he might rather not.]

Do you -- think someone like her will ever be at rest? [His words are quiet, voice rough as if from disuse.]

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mysterymelody
2012-06-22 12:05 am UTC (link)

...I... [Just as hesitantly as she starts, she stops, glancing once more at the stone and rubble he holds onto before away to the ground. She has no knowledge or even considered belief of what comes after death; there are no gods on Auldrant, no tales of paradise or purgatory like she's read about in some of the library books here, only a scientific explanation of how one's body rejoins the cycle. Nothing about the soul or heart or anything close to those.

So as much as a part of her wants to give him a certain answer, tell him yes without a shadow of a doubt to... ease his pain, perhaps? She can't]

I don't-- I'm not sure. But I know I've wished for some people-- people who did horrible, unforgivable things to the world-- to find peace finally... so maybe, that's all it takes. At least one person wanting that for them.

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edgeofsalvation
2012-06-23 01:37 am UTC (link)

[he makes a slight sound, not especially emotive one way or another. Horrible and unforgivable -- true though that is, the words only serve to flare his anger.]

[It's more not wanting to move in an outburst than his respect for Tear that keeps him calm.] She wasn't a good person, but... [His silence likely speaks louder than anything he could actually have said.]

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mysterymelody
2012-06-27 12:06 am UTC (link)

[Realizing now-- too late-- how exactly that could have come across, she silently forces down the ashamed and awkward lump in her throat before she can even try to speak again. He's right, Diva wasn't a saint, but as much as she was a terror at times she still wasn't the worst of them. Those words had been meant only for specific people, and none of them had been in this prison. But then, she's never been a good judge of the time to use words, and always too blunt for her own good]

It's alright to care for her. Everyone deserves that. [If he does... and it's not forced, she has to and will accept that he does]

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edgeofsalvation
2012-07-04 06:40 pm UTC (link)

[His thoughts mirror Tear's as she speaks, wondering whether his feelings for Diva are genuine at all, or the product of whatever connection she'd forced upon him -- a question he'd asked countless times before, with no answer seeming complete.]

She was lonely. [He's not certain why he feels the need to tell her, tell someone, that not every piece of her was bad.] All she ever wanted was a family. But she didn't know how to get it without... [forcing people. Manipulating them.]

If I don't mourn her, who will?

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mysterymelody
2012-07-05 04:30 pm UTC (link)

[She listens to, acknowledges the girl's reasoning, a wish she herself can very much relate to. Though, she knows that will never justify anything, so approving is not something she can do]

--Is that your only reason to? [The question comes suddenly and without any judgment in her voice; there's no right or wrong answer in her opinion, it's not loaded. She just wants to know, to understand better]

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	edgeofsalvation 2012-07-05 07:39 pm UTC (link)
	No. [His answer was too quick for forethought, so he belatedly thanks himself for pausing there so his mind could catch up.] My feelings for her were born of my change, but that's not all they were. She loved me, in her way, and I loved her back. ...I don't suppose anyone would understand. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mysterymelody 2012-07-09 06:14 pm UTC (link)
	Maybe not... [Especially her, of all people] But that's alright. It's your own will-- that's what matters. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	edgeofsalvation 2012-07-10 12:55 am UTC (link)
	[He nods, just once. He appreciates her saying so, but he can't help but feel as though his feelings are a betrayal of everything he used to be -- everything she tried to help him regain.] Are you here to ensure that I don't end my life? [Blunt, but he'd much rather have things on the table.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mysterymelody 2012-07-13 09:24 pm UTC (link)
	[She takes a silent moment to consider how to phrase her reply, shifting her weight in contemplation] ...I did come in order to try and prevent anything from happening to you. [An open answer when placed next to his direct inquiry, but ultimately truthful. She wasn't sure what she would find before arriving, so...] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	edgeofsalvation 2012-07-13 11:18 pm UTC (link)
	[He takes her words to affirm his suspicions.] You needn't fear that. I made a promise to Yuuri. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mysterymelody 2012-07-17 08:00 pm UTC (link)
	Whatever it takes. [Though she does briefly wonder if she alone would have been enough in a different happening of this situation, she's neither offended nor jealous that Yuuri is his motivation. It's only natural considering their history, and-- as she's just said-- any reason he can find to stay alive right now is good] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	edgeofsalvation 2012-07-20 05:47 pm UTC (link)
	I must admit that it's -- difficult. [The word itself struggles to get past his lips, in fact. That part of him that will always he Diva's can't let him be wholly optimistic about his chances of survival without her.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mysterymelody 2012-07-26 08:24 pm UTC (link)
	[She doesn't miss the unevenness in his reply and, biting her lip, lapses into silence again to stew over it for a time] What would... help? [If anything can, if he even knows] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	edgeofsalvation 2012-07-27 03:03 am UTC (link)
	[Saya. The name comes to mind without pause, forceful enough to startle him. Even with Diva in the dome his instincts were simmering beneath the surface; with her gone, there was only one who could hope to quench his needs.] [But he can't say that to Tear. So, his flash of concern melts into a little smile.] I suppose I'll have to find out. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mysterymelody 2012-07-27 04:46 am UTC (link)
	...Mm. [That was-- a little unnerving, and even though he looks fine now and sounds it too, she studies him worriedly before tucking most of it away] Are you going to stay...? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	edgeofsalvation 2012-08-06 12:57 am UTC (link)
	[He nods, turning back to Diva's remains, starkly white against the grass.] For now. (Reply to this) (Parent)