[Of course, he would take it that way. Most would.]
I meant, are you truly respecting the one it is for by making it.
[A stone with a name of one who is dead and would never care about it in the first place.] It is selfish, and as you said, something for you here yourself. A marker for you to seek when you wish and ignore when it suits you.
One might think the dead would rather not be remembered at all that only thought of when it is convenient. It matters little considering we will all die and be forgotten eventually.