Fantasy Fest Drabble: "Five Times Severus Snape Didn't Say 'Duck!'" - G
Title: Five Times Severus Snape Didn't Say 'Duck!' Author: islandsmoke Rating: G Prompt: Duck! Summary: Um, see title. Warnings: near crack Word count: 500
~Five Times Severus Snape Didn't Say 'Duck!'~
1.
A steady wind blew around them as they stood on the quay looking at the harbor.
"Water fowl." Severus pointed.
Remus squinted. "Ducks."
Severus looked prim. "I believe there is a merganser or two in the group."
Remus made binoculars of his hands and looked again. "Ducks."
"Perhaps," Severus mused. "Even a loon."
2.
A group of friends were helping tidy-up and decorate for Severus and Remus' anniversary party.
"Look out!"
Severus' shout startled Remus, and he turned from where he was trying to balance a big pot of petunias on the corner of the shed roof.
The garden gnome that Ron Weasley was swinging 'round by the feet had slipped from his grasp and was hurtling through the air. It hit Remus in the face, tumbling him, the gnome, and the petunias to the ground.
Remus sat up, dusting bits of broken crockery off his shoulders while the gnome disappeared back down his hole. He didn't realize he had dirt and pink flowers in his hair as he glared at his partner.
"Why didn't you just shout, Duck!?"
3.
"Why do we have to go out in one of those, those... amphibious things."
"The Duck Boat?"
Severus glared at the odd looking vehicle that appeared to be a boat on wheels. There was an idiotically smiling cartoon animal painted on the side in bright yellow.
"It's a wonderful way to see more of Boston, Severus."
"And why would we want to do that?"
"It's history, Severus."
"Not ours. Besides, it's raining."
"Oh, come on." Laughing, Remus pulled Severus toward the ticket booth. "It's great weather for ducks."
4.
"Something smells wonderful! What are you cooking?" Remus entered the kitchen, kissing Severus' cheek before dipping a finger in the sauce.
Severus slapped his hand. "Caneton à la presse."
"You couldn't just say, pressed duck?"
5.
They were gathered in the Potter-Weasley living room, sipping perhaps a few too many drinks and waiting for midnight to usher in a new year. The talk had turned to Animagi.
"Ginny's a fox." Harry looked up from his daiquiri.
"We know that Harry, but what's her Animagus form?" Neville nudged Harry good naturedly.
"I never could do it," Ron sighed.
"It's very advanced," Hermione commiserated.
"But you can." Ron smiled proudly. "An owl."
"Are any of us surprised?" Severus' deep voice came from the corner of the couch.
"What are you, Severus? You can do it, can't you?" Ginny tried to look innocent and failed.
"A raven."
"A black panther."
"A reindeer."
"A reindeer?" Everyone looked at Neville.
"Why not? A person can't choose their form, you know."
"A hedgehog." Harry giggled into his drink.
Whether it was the fifth mimosa that he was drinking, or just one of those moments of divine inspiration, Remus suddenly sat up straight and looked at Severus, delight shining in his slightly out of focus eyes. "I know!"
Severus leaned over as if to nuzzle his partner's cheek. "Say it, and you'll never see the new year."