Character: Remus Lupin – Pairings Remus/Severus and mentions for Regulus/Draco/Harry
Word Count: 1,889
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Unbeta'd. Men having sex (shocking I know!!!).
A/N: Written for Snapelike's Pirate Phiclet Phest on lj here. Slightly cracky to go with the monthly challenge here.
The day was dawning, fair; there was just enough wind to allow the ship to cut through the water purposefully. It was another good day on the pirate ship. Remus, Captain Remus Lupin, held the spyglass to his eye and gazed out at the horizon. Pirate ship was really a term that in this case was used loosely, however, there was no such thing as a Robin Hood ship; so pirate ship it was.
Almost twenty years earlier Remus had left home to seek some adventure. The sea had captivated him from his first trip from Dover to Calais. He had been expected to follow in the family business researching the Roman-Britons. The love of books and history he had; their love of sifting through endless rocks and muck looking for bits and bobs, he did not. Being as he was named Remus and his brother Romulus with a surname of Lupin; he had decided early in life that if that was considered humour in the academic world he did not want any part in it.
Remus turned his attention from his musing back to the spyglass; a wisp of smoke had appeared to the south east. He turned to the wheelman and shouted “Prepare to come about!”
More cries of ‘coming about’ echoed through the air as the men scrambled to their respective positions.
Severus crossed his arms across his chest; his black long coat lay in the sand at his feet as he surveyed his handiwork. A groan to his right indicated that his companion was about to arise from his alcohol fueled slumber. The classically beautiful dark haired, grey eyed man blinked rapidly as he struggled to his feet.
“What the bloody hell have you done?!” Regulus demanded as he held his hand to his forehead.
“Signaled for help.”
“Are you mad?” Regulus shrieked as he doubled over to the sound of his own voice. “Perhaps you have forgotten the British and the French are both after us.” He croaked.
“I have not forgotten!”
“But why bring them down upon us?”
“How would you suggest we get off this bloody island? Swim perhaps? Once on board a vessel, we have the chance to take the ship and go where we may.”
“I need a drink!” Regulus exclaimed and reached for his stash. To his horror he came up empty handed.
“Severus, why is the rum gone?”
“Because it makes you indiscriminately amorous.”
“To be fair Severus, I only grabbed your cock once last night.”
Severus snorted. “One too many times, it was.”
“You never complained when we were students.”
“I will insist on using my youth to explain that particular indiscretion.”
Regulus gave Severus his best puppy-eyed look. “Perhaps we could pretend we are still students.”
“Absolutely not!” Severus shouted.
“But Severus I burn!”
“I believe that might be the French disease.”
Regulus rolled his eyes. “Not that way! I miss the cabin boys.”
“I am quite sure Harry and Draco are finding other ways to fill their time, while they are not being accosted by the first mate.”
“They liked it.” Regulus grumbled.
“Perhaps this ship will have some new delights to sate your appetite.” Severus nodded toward the west.
“Or better yet, we could just be keel-hauled. Can you see their colours?” Regulus groused.
Severus stared intently as the ship drew near; it raised the Jolly Roger.
The smoke turned out to be a tiny island, ablaze. Remus could see two men. “Prepare the long boat!” He called.
“But Captain.” The first mate said.
“Don’t worry Hermione. It would be better to find out what they’re about before they board the ship. I don’t see any weapons with them; I don’t see much of anything. I trust you’ll do the right thing if anything happens.”
She nodded and tightened her belt.
“Seamus! You and Blaise to the boat. Dean cover me from here. Neville you’re coming along.”
It was a short trip to the beach; Remus’ rowers were strong young men. He nodded to them before he leapt from the boat; they were old hands at this and knew exactly what they were to do.
Severus and Regulus stood side by side as Remus approached.
He doffed his hat. “Captain Lupin at your service.”
“Do you have room for two passengers?” Severus asked.
Remus took time to study the two. “Where would you be heading?” God, this men was sex on legs! Dark, gorgeous nose and oh, so buttoned up!
Severus straightened up to his full height. “Wherever you are you daft twit! Do you see any other ships queued up waiting to take us aboard?”
Fiesty too! Perfect! A small smile came to Remus’ face. “And you are?”
“Captain Jack Sparrow.” Severus replied.
Remus burst out laughing. “I am well acquainted with Captain Sparrow. You are not he. First, you are about five inches too tall. Next, he would not be caught dead in those clothes and third he never, ever leaves a ship, room or brothel without eye makeup.”
Severus opened his mouth, but stopped when Remus lifted a hand.
Remus continued as he stared at the grey-eyed man. “Well blow me down.”
“Don’t tempt him!” Severus muttered.
“You, I would guess to be Regulus Black. I left your brother in a bar in Tortuga diddling a barmaid.”
Regulus pushed some sand about with the toe of his boot.
“That would make you the noted British alchemist Severus Snape, traitor to both the English and French governments. There is quite a nice price on your head.”
“And you plan to turn me in to receive said bounty.”
Remus grinned broadly. “Not at all.”
“What kind of bloody pirate are you!” Severus demanded.
The grin still split Remus’ face. “We’re not your ordinary pirates. We’d like the reward, of course, but only if we could set you free as well. Perhaps we could work on that.”
“Perhaps we should proceed before someone else take up interest in my fire.”
“Come along gentlemen. Don’t bother trying anything stupid. My crew and I are well prepared.” Remus gestured gracefully toward the long boat.
“Heave to, lads!” The captain called to the long boat crew.
The trip back to the ship was a little longer. As they prepared to climb up the ropes, Remus spoke. “You may be interested to note we picked up two others from your ship yesterday.”
Severus froze with one hand on Jacob’s ladder.
“A pair of cabin boys. The blonde seems quite used to creature comforts. Pray tell what kind of vessel were you on?”
“Thank God!” Regulus shouted.
Remus looked quizzical. “The dark-haired one is your son, perhaps?”
Severus choked as continued his climb.
Regulus shook his head. “No they just perform the usual cabin boy duties.”
Severus stopped half way up and snorted. “Perform would be the key word there.”
They scrambled on the deck and the long boat was secured.
“Weigh anchor! Hoist the mizzen! Resume our course!” Men jumped to follow Remus’ orders.
Harry and Draco appeared on deck. “Regulus!” They cried in unison.
Remus chuckled as the boys hugged the man. “I assume that you would be willing to share their cabin.” He asked Regulus. “I gave them a storage room under the stairs, since they didn’t seem to fit in well with the sailors.”
The trio vanished before he finished speaking.
“You see…they…well…” Severus stammered.
Remus drank in the vision of this chemist. He knew exactly which way the wind blew Snape’s sails.
“Perhaps if you are done gawking, you might tell me about your ship and then show me to my quarters, Captain.”
“Please call me Remus.” Fortunately, his blush wasn’t evident on his tanned cheeks. “The ship is the Quentin Collins.”
“Quentin?”
“I like men.” Remus said simply.
“Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me. We kindle and char, inflame and ignite”The pirates sung in the background. "Drink up, me 'earties yo, ho."
Severus stared at the amber coloured eyes for a moment. “You mentioned you were not the usual type of pirates….”
Remus took Severus around the ship, showing off all he and his crew and done to the vessel. Then he explained their philosophy. They helped those that needed helping, took money from those who could afford it and made certain all their schemes were convoluted enough that no one truly caught on until they were well away. Of course, they'd been in battles; no plan was perfect and not everyone reacted exactly as expected. They ate well and drank well and Remus tried not to look too far into the future.
Severus' stomach rumbled.
"I am a poor host. Would you care for something to eat?" Remus asked.
"Please."
"Do you have a preference?"
"Yorkshire pudding and beef." Severus said deadpan.
Remus laughed. "I meant breakfast or lunch? We have some scones that were fresh yesterday or some beef and cheese for sandwiches."
"A scone and tea if it is available."
Remus chuckled, again. "Severus, you are amoungst the English. Of course we have tea!"
"A bit familiar, captain."
"Let us get you fed and I'll show you your quarters."
Severus nodded and followed. Two scones and three cups of tea later Remus led the way to his guest's quarters, which were his own. He ushered the wanted man into the room, closed the door and pinned him to it with a deep kiss.
"God, Severus! I can't believe you made it! Don't ever scare me like that again!"
"There was nothing to be done about it. I needed to get that map from Malfoy."
"Isn't it convenient that his son is now aboard." Remus asked.
"That might be helpful later."
"I'm tempted to have you kiss the gunner's daughter, but I fear that you would like it too well." Remus' mouth clamped over Severus' again. "You are going to take your punishment right here, against this door."
It wasn't much of a punishment, and Remus had their cocks freed from their trousers in mere moments. Remus warm, calloused hand worked them together as they hardened. Severus moaned and rocked trying to urge Remus to move faster.
"None of that! Punishment remember?"
"What about the last month without this? What was that?" Severus' voice was but a whisper.
Remus groaned. "Finally, seeing my side are you?"
Severus gasped as Remus sped up. "NO! I am just a randy sod and you know how to….." He stopped to pant. "do this properly."
Remus teased and twisted the head of Severus' cock. "If you are still talking I must not be doing that fine a job. Let me do better." He redoubled his efforts briinging himself and Severus to the brink and then backing off. The door rattled with their exertions, Severus' entire body was tense. Remus finally relented and pull their cocks hard and fast as he whispered naughty things in Severus' ear. A tiny nip to the lobe sent Severus over the edge; the warm pulses brought Remus over as well.
"You do realise that you do not actually speak as if you are a pirate." Severus drawled.
Remus leaned back to look into Severus' eyes. "Well, you do shiver me timbers!"
Severus groaned. "You are an idiot!"
"Perhaps. But whom was just bedded by the idiot? Remus smirked. "And that would be Captain Idiot to you!"