RETROFEST ENTRY Title: THE ADDICTION 11/14 Rating: NC-17 Author:countesszero Beta:schemingreader Pairings: SS/ES, SS/RL, SS/SB, RL/NT Genre: AU, Drama, Tragedy, Romance, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort Challenge: Retrofest 2009 Prompt No. 05 Canon: Compliant with PS, CoS and 90% PoA compliant. Wordcount: Approximately 2,600 words
Summary: When Harry, Hermione, Ron stun Severus in the Shrieking Shack, they don't know there is a Sleeping Beauty Spell on the bed already. It interacts and Snape wakes up a woman. Remus who already is attracted to Snape finds this even more intriguing and begins to woo Snape.
Warnings: Incest, Heterosexual sex, (Child) Abuse, Drug abuse, Alcoholism, Mental illness, Non consensual sex, Sex with dubious consent, Gender switch, Attempted suicide, Character death (no main character)
A/N: At this point I would like to express my gratitude to schemingreader who has despite her very busy life supported me greatly in my first attempt of writing fanfiction.
I am aware that this comes a bit late but I also would like to explain that if the structure of the sentences seem strange to you it's because I am not a native english speaker. My mother tongue is German, so when I write in English I first form sentences in german and then translate them. In that sense please do not hesitate to point out mistakes or correct my English.
Disclaimer: Severus Snape, Remus Lupin and all associated characters from the Harry Potter universe are the property of J.K. Rowling. The author is making no profit by this story.
"You won't escape your untimely demise by holing up here. He will come for you and it won't be pretty." Sirius told Remus casually at the breakfast table. "And I am not going to wipe your blood from the ceiling after he's done with you."
"Right then, Bolivia it is, Butch!"
"What?"
"Never mind, Ignoramus. Pass me the coffee, please." Remus squeezed Tonks who was snoring peacefully into her tea.
Sirius shook his head.
"I should go and talk to him? Now?" Remus asked. "Are you sure this would be wise?"
"It'll speed things up. He'll just incendio you quickly rather than torture you slowly to death. Hell hath no fury than a potion master scorned."
"You shouldn't try to be funny this early, Sirius. It's not going well."
Sirius snorted.
"I think it's best to wait it out a little. Maybe one or two weeks, until he has calmed down." Remus pondered.
Tonks and Sirius laughed like hyenas about his idea.
"I have to say your breakfast humor is really better than mine." said Sirius.
"Yeah, right. Wait it out. Good one, Remus." Tonks said. "He'll piss into your wolfsbane."
"I know, I know, alright?"
Sirius couldn't hear enough of the whole story. Again and again Tonks - or Remus - had to tell him how they had been fucking - and how the door flew open - and how Snape had been standing there. Sirius could not stop himself from asking him and Tonks all sorts of questions. How had Snape reacted? Did he scream? Or cry? Or both? What were his exact words?
It was too good to be true, Sirius didn't get tired of repeating. It was like the old days. And when Remus told him about the silk robes and the red color on Snape's lips Sirius had an almost delirious expression on his face.
"He is barking mad," Sirius said several times, and Tonks got the joke and laughed politely, but Remus didn't even smile. "Maybe it's the hormones, or PMS or menopause or ALL of it together."
"Hey!" grumbled Tonks and punched Sirius shoulder.
"Snape caught me fucking a woman. Another woman. You can't accuse him of being insane because he has a problem with that."
Tonks agreed: "Monogamy is a widely accepted concept. I can't really hold it against him either."
"That's very ... generous ... of you," said Sirius slowly, and Tonks made a little mock bow towards him before she opened her butterbeer at the kitchen table. Remus raised his eyebrow disapprovingly.
"So, what are you going to do now?" Sirius asked. "You have to either grovel and propose or break up with him."
"Yeah, you have to do something." Tonks added unnecessarily.
Remus rolled his eyes.
One of the reasons he never gave explanations was that once he started giving them, people, especially lovers (and sadly it made no difference if they were male or female) came to expect them. He never made promises because this way he could not be accused of breaking them, and he never told anyone anything so nobody could blame him for lying to them. His gentle and polite absent-mindedness was the only weapon he had against people he knew obsessed about commitment and control - very much like Snape did.
"Women like apologies in these situations. We are weird like that." Tonks said.
"Even before I break up with him?"
Sirius let out a victorious shout and Remus flinched. "Yesss!" he exclaimed. "That's my man! Finally you are coming to your senses, Sundance Kid!"
Tonks looked at him from the side, with an amused smile on her lips.
"Really - if you have to choose between a gorgeous, sexy chick like Tonks and a dried up, raving mad and positively ancient Snape, who hates sex ... I mean which would it be? And did I mention he's mad?"
"I am still in the room. Would be nice if you wouldn't talk about me as if I am some sort of merchandise," Tonks said dryly. "And isn't Snape your age?"
"This is not a game, Sirius. I don't wish to hurt Snape," Remus murmured. "He really seems to care for me."
Sirius went still at this. Remus and Tonks both looked up at the change that came over him.
"Maybe he does," he said quietly. "But this is more obsession rather than love. Obsession has nothing to do with love. It's about power and desire, and when the desire is so strong that it is all you can think about then maybe you want to mistake it for love. Not that you would know, but let me tell you. Snape's love is like poison."
Remus was searching for something lighthearted to say, when Sirius held up his hand and continued.
"I know you, Remus. You cannot handle this kind of love. Maybe you can't handle love at all. He wants too much from you, and you cannot give yourself completely to somebody. You will end up dreading him for needing you. End it now, before something bad happens."
Tonks said nothing but looked at Sirius. Remus coughed, slightly embarrassed by his friend's dramatic speech.
"Wow, Sirius, what was in that coffee?" he joked weakly.
Sirius didn't listen but instead started fantasizing aloud in a completely different tone about transfiguring Snape's robes into a corset. Sometimes Sirius could be juvenile and immature like that.
"He'd look great in a playboy bunny costume, too," Sirius mused dreamily.
Tonks snorted once or twice and said: "Leave him alone already, alright? I'm beginning to feel sorry for him."
He tasted the poison in the kiss.
When he inhaled it seeped into his lungs and from there spread like wildfire in his system, setting every nerve on flames inside him. Golden lights started dancing slowly around him, around Snape.
He found himself unable to form coherent thoughts, only feeling this exciting, delicious lust, the desire to lose control, to let go, and Snape was still kissing him with a rapt expression on his face he had never seen before on him.
It was good to fuck. Had it ever been that good? Remus could not remember. And Snape seemed to like it so very much, the way he was gasping and writhing under him. He felt Snape clenching around his cock, again and again.
In the back of his mind someone (who sounded annoyingly like Sirius) said:What the fuck are you doing? Get away from him. He fucking drugged you.
And what if he had?
It was similar to that night he had mistakenly drunken the lemonade with the acid in it (Sirius' doing, of course. He had put it in and then forgot which bottle it was, and then the whole party had ended up in mayhem. Even the neighbours were tripping.) Now it was inside him, and there was no way to get it out, so better enjoy the ride. And such a good ride it was.
He was bewitched. He felt the magic of the salve on his lips. His own will was drained out of him, pulled by Snape's dark little tricks.
Did you really think I wouldn't notice? he wondered.
He was not helpless. He could fight it if he wanted to. But right now he found he had absolutely no desire to end this. Ah, it wasn't urgent. He could have this before he ended it.
Snape had even painted his nipples with the poisoned color, Remus realized after licking them.
Scheming Slytherin.
He looked at Snape's cunt. He had only seen it briefly, once during their - failed - attempt to have intercourse, when he had hitched up the robes to press his hand on it. Now he had a good look at it, while his cock was gliding in and out. It was probably the last time he'd do this. (Remus could not help a twinge of regret at this thought.) Somehow he had remembered it fleshier and darker - but it was actually small. And neat. Really, the clitoris was a tiny, pink dot sitting atop the only slightly darker fleshy folds of the vulva, even in its aroused engorged state ... tiny, like the head of a pin, and glistening wet.
The black hair around it was trimmed, Remus noticed with a smirk and the image of Snape sitting in his bath tub with his legs spread trimming his pubic hair made him almost come prematurely.
Ah, yes, he could feel Snape's orgasm approaching, he was shuddering and contracting violently and he could hear him mewling, oh and fuck, fuck this was so very good.
Snape arched himself off the bed, displaying his reddened nipples and pressing Remus head onto his chest, in a silent plea to lick them, and he complied.
"Remus." Snape sobbed.
"It won't make a difference. In the end it won't. You know." Remus said, looking down on Snape whose face was slack with exhaustion. He had a strange expression in his eyes.
"You know that," Remus said, more angrily."You know it won't last."
Snape turned away his head.
Remus felt hot fury ignite inside him, along with something else, underneath his post-orgasmic exhaustion. The potion was storming through his system, and produced new hot waves of lust, in a furious, maddening way.
"I would have expected that sort of trick from a 14 year old chit. This is beneath you," he said.
His inside was burning up. Lava was pouring through his veins. The room around the bed seemed to be engulfed in flames. Once or twice he even thought to see the vivid flicker of fire playing over the bedsheets. The air seemed to glimmer with heat.
He looked at Snape's white body, stretched underneath him like a winter landscape.
Snape put an arm across his face, but Remus didn't allow it and pulled it away.
"Already tired, love?" he asked."You should have taken your potion and not only doused me with it."
"I did." Snape said.
"Good, then you also understand, that we won't really sleep tonight, do you?"
Snape looked at him, uncertainty in his features now.
"Remus," he said in a cautious tone
Too late for that. Remus thought. He got up on his knees and turned Snape around.
"You wanted to fuck." he said. 'Well, then let's fuck."
He pulled Snapes hips up so that he was on his knees.
"Not like this." said Snape.
"To hell with what you want. You already got what you wanted." Remus said furiously and pushed Snape's head down onto the mattress. He kneaded Snape's arse roughly. For a moment he considered to fuck Snape's little, pink anus, but then he slid his cock into Snape's cunt.
"Rest your head on your left arm," he ordered.
Snape obeyed hesitantly.
"Now reach underneath you with your right and touch yourself."
Snape began to awkwardly massage his own clitoris. Remus could see from the tension between Snapes shoulder blades that he didn't dare to disobey but was uncomfortable touching himself.
"How does it feel?" Remus asked, stroking his back and his sides, as if he was caressing an expensive race horse.
Snape didn't answer for a long time, continuing to massage himself, attempting various angles. He was concentrating very hard.
"Take your time," Remus whispered. "Find out what feels good."
Remus moved slowly in and out. When Snape started pushing back and stuck with one movement - pressing his clitoris through the hood, rapidly as if it was a button - Remus bent forwards. With one hand he played with Snape's nipple and with the other he steadied himself while he fucked faster and harder now.
"You asked for this," Remus panted. Even his anger felt good. He pulled back then thrust back harder. Severus gasped.
"Why did you do it?"
Snape didn't answer, but pushed himself up against him, in a beautifully wild movement.
Remus mouth was close to Snape's ear. He licked it.
"Tell me, Snape."
Snape's breath was labored and just like before he was suppressing his moans.
"Did you know, that some potions have a slightly different effect on werewolves than humans?" Remus asked, without interrupting his rhythm. "Your dirty, little lustpotion does not always bring the love out in us. But you knew that, didn't you?"
He squeezed the nipple, until Snape let out a pained gasp.
"You did know that, or have you forgotten? You have been quite forgetful lately ... No, you can't have forgotten something that important. You knew but you just did it anyway."
He pulled Snape up and pushed him closer to the head board.
"Hold on there," he told Snape who put his hands up the head board, turning around to look at him. He still held the same vulnerable expression in his eyes he had before and it touched Remus suddenly. He couldn't help kissing Snape again.
"I don't understand you," Remus whispered. "Who are you?"
Then he propped one of the pillows against the headboard, underneath Snape's chest.
"Hold on," he told Snape and started moving again, pushing Snape's chest against the cool cotton of the pillows. He heard Snape's breath hitch, when his erect nipples came in contact with the fabric.
"That's good?" Remus asked.
Snape nodded.
Remus coated the fingers of his left hand with Snape's juices. Even his thighs were wet and slick. Then he slowly stroked Snape's small, clenched asshole. Snape inhaled sharply and wriggled away.
"I don't know if this is a good idea." he said, fear in his voice.
"Stay still. I won't fuck your ass. Not now at least ... maybe later. Now come back here." said Remus and pulled Snape with his other hand back. He rubbed the hole and then pushed gently against it, again in the same rhythm of his fucking. After a while Snape didn't seem to mind it anymore. He was twitching with lust.
Remus slid his other hand underneath Snape and pressed against his clitoris then.
Snape's movements became more and more frantic.
"You know, you are very good at this," Remus said under his breath "A natural talent. Maybe that is why you were so afraid. Because you like it so much. Your cunt loves cock, I can tell."
He couldn't get enough of Snape's ivory white back. Didn't he respond beautifully? Wasn't he perfect?
He pushed his finger into the little tightly clenched hole. Snape's back arched, and he shuddered, moaning softly now.
"Delicious," Remus praised him.
Fuck, this is unbelievable, Remus thought, then stopped thinking, deliberately filling his mind with obscenities - yes, fuck, yes whore, slut, you like that, don't you, yes, yes, yes, ... whatever flooded his mind, he spat it out gladly, hissing and snarling, because he didn't care for tenderness now, not after being drugged with a potion that was concocted with potentially dark magic and not after Snape lying to him.
"Fuck you, Snape," he thought and came so very hard.
Snape couldn't hear him anymore. His cunt started convulsing.
"I did it because I love you," Snape cried out finally. "I love you." He collapsed on the pillow, gasping and twitching and crying.
Remus rested his hand on Snape's back.
"Oh, Snape," he said, almost affectionately. No, no 'Severus" for him.
It was all fake. It was a lie. It was poison. It was another one of Snape's childish, possessive games.
"Believe me," he said tiredly, stroking Snape's flushed, glistening back."you and me ... we both have not the faintest idea what love is."