COUNTESS ZERO (countesszero) wrote in lupin_snape, @ 2009-08-26 00:32:00 |
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Entry tags: | retro fest |
RETROFEST ENTRY
Title: THE ADDICTION 06/14
Rating: NC-17
Author:countesszero
Beta:schemingreader
Pairings: SS/ES, SS/RL, SS/SB
Genre: AU, Drama, Tragedy, Romance, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort
Challenge: Retrofest 2009 Prompt No. 05
Canon: Compliant with PS, CoS and 90% PoA compliant.
Wordcount: Approximately 2200 words
Summary: When Harry, Hermione, Ron stun Severus in the Shrieking Shack, they don't know there is a Sleeping Beauty Spell on the bed already. It interacts and Snape wakes up a woman. Remus who already is attracted to Snape finds this even more intriguing and begins to woo Snape.
Warnings: Incest, Heterosexual sex, (Child) Abuse, Drug abuse, Alcoholism, Mental illness, Non consensual sex, Sex with dubious consent, Gender switch, Attempted suicide, Character death (no main character)
A/N: At this point I would like to express my gratitude to schemingreader who has despite her very busy life supported me greatly in my first attempt of writing fanfiction. Remaining mistakes are solely my responsibility.
Disclaimer: Severus Snape, Remus Lupin and all associated characters from the Harry Potter universe are the property of J.K. Rowling. The author is making no profit by this story.
To describe Snape as a difficult lover would have been a tremendous understatement.
It turned out that after that night Remus was not allowed privacy any longer. Strangely enough that didn't mean more sex, but ... less.
Often enough Snape batted Remus' attempts to seduce him away with impatient hands. Kissing was allowed, so was groping and fumbling but not underneath the robes. In other words - no skin contact. He was allowed to rub Snape's cunt through his fifteen layers of clothing though. And on very rare occasions Snape would take his cock into his hand and bring him off.
Once Remus invited Snape to a dinner in Hogsmeade where he subtly refilled Snape's wine glass as often as possibly. Afterward Severus kissed him passionately - not in the restaurant, but in a sidestreet - and Remus, dizzy with lust, suggested to take a room at The Three Broomsticks. His suggestion was met with an icy stare and resignedly he Apparated them to the front gates of Hogwarts.
Remus was trapped in a sexless relationship.
Yet Snape was intent to please Remus. He prepared not only his monthly wolfsbane but also other potions and droughts for every ailment he could possibly develop. By now his personal potion cabinet was better stocked than Poppy's.
He took more care about his appearance. After the transformation his old robes were a little too big for him and now he had obviously had purchased new ones, made from fine, soft wool instead of sturdy cotton.
Snape never insulted him anymore.
At times Remus even missed the cutting remarks Snape could deliver. Now Snape seemed to expect of Remus to carry the entire conversation alone while Snape hardly ever said anything. Snape's meager contributions consisted of nods, smirks and snorts.
Remus couldn't help but feel like a lonely puppeteer talking to his black clad voodoo puppet.
Snape's behaviour became more and more possessive by the day. In the beginning of their romance it had been Remus who had sought out Snape. Now Snape insisted on spending every free minute with him - as if he was afraid to be alone.
Naturally everybody thought they were shagging like rabbits, what with Snape accompanying him everywhere like a dark sinister shadow.
His own personal dungeon bat.
Remus noticed of course that apart from that there were other things wrong with Snape.
Sometimes the things Snape said stopped making sense. Once he was talking about the Wolfsbane project, then went still suddenly and didn't say anything for minutes, and when Remus gently prodded him, he finally resumed talking, but about an unrelated topic. - Remus suggested to see Poppy and predictably Snape snapped and accused him of ... what exactly? Snape was furious, muttering to himself, then talking to Remus again, saying something about Poppy and Dumbledore not leaving him alone and manipulating him, then before Remus could even digest the words, he vanished into the bathroom.
After half an hour he came back into the bedroom, swaying slightly. It was evident that Snape was under the influence of something, possibly an illegal potion.
"Do you even begin to understand what I am going through?" he asked softly, almost like a child, clinging to him.
"No." Remus admitted after some silence. "No, I don't."
But often when he asked Snape he only got curt, rude answers, insults, or ... lies. Which was also odd, since Remus had never thought Snape to be a liar.
He did not understand Snape and what he was going through. Of course no one could. And he was sorry, he truly was. He thought that if he would show Snape that he desired him no matter what - would Snape understand? Would his acceptance help Snape to accept his new gender in return? Maybe it was foolish, but under these circumstances what was he supposed to do? Like Remus, Snape was irreversibly cursed. The only way to survive was to accept.
Could Snape understand in return that he was a werewolf in the end? That the wolf and him could not be separated (like Sirius always tried to) - that he, Remus was the wolf?
He didn't ask or expect understanding from anybody anymore. Maybe Snape had to yet learn this lesson, reach that point.
"You have to help me to understand." he whispered.
"It's ... the transformation." Snape muttered. "Hormones, changes, ... I don't even understand it myself, but that is why I am not myself."
Remus said nothing but stroked Snape's hair. The sensory talents of werewolves were highly exaggerated but even without heightened werewolf skills he could smell a lie when he heard one.
He couldn't point his finger at the moment he realized that he wanted to end things with Snape. But it was possibly the moment when he finally realized that Snape's behavior became worse instead of better. In this regard it was not a bad thing altogether that many things hadn't even started yet, that certain intimacies had not taken place yet.
Over the last weeks Snape demanded declarations of love and affection - forcing Remus to uncomfortable reassurances. He got upset when Remus talked too long with his students after class. He hissed dangerously when Remus smiled at others.
On other days Snape was strangely absentminded, confused and distant. He looked at Remus with barely suppressed rage. His eyes were wild, haunted, and Remus found he could not bear looking into them.
But then, after another terse dinner in Snape's gloomy quarters during which Remus was mentally preparing for the break up Snape kissed him fiercely and even kissed all the way down, kissed him through his trousers. Then he started breathing against the cloth and Remus became hard and Snape opened his trousers and started sucking him through the thin cotton of his underwear. When Remus was fully hard, Snape freed him, knelt on the floor and licked his cock like a kitten. Then he sucked his whole cock with dedication ... and with a surprisingl skill.
Where had he learned that? Remus reconsidered Snape's claim to be sexually inexperienced. Maybe there were one or two things Snape didn't tell him. He was too good, too talented at this and Remus almost slipped and told him, that he was as good as any professional giving head but then luckily he remembered in the last moment that this was still Snape who had his whole cock in his mouth and remained silent.
He didn't last long. Snape made even obscene - passionate - little noises, sighing in such a nice way, slurping and licking as if Remus cock was the most delicious thing he had ever had in his mouth and when Remus came and fucked into Snape's throat he felt him swallowing his come.
When Snape eventually looked up Remus was a bit shocked. Snape smiled but he was red and still a bit gagging and panting and tears were running down his face.
Snape got up and went into the bath room and Remus thought he could hear Snape retch but he sincerely hoped not. It was somewhat counterproductive to his afterglow. He pushed himself up and walked to the bed room. There was no way he could break up with Snape after this. He would not survive the night, and honestly - the fact that Snape had performed oral sex on him was a good sign, a sign that he might be ready for more.
When Snape came back from the bathroom, showered and smelling of soap, Remus woke and pulled Snape into his arms. Snape suddenly embraced him so fiercely that he almost choked.
"What the ...?" he gasped.
Snape looked at him with his intense black eyes, searching for something in his face, and Remus did what he could do best. He smiled warmly and reassuringly and took one of Snape's hands and kissed it. Only then Snape relaxed and closed his eyes to sleep, as if he had received some sort of confirmation.
Dumbledore did not officially reinstate the Order of The Phoenix out of fear that this might lead to panic but the last meetings at Grimmauld Place or in the headmaster office suspiciously consisted of former members of the Order. During one of these meetings (Snape had to brew a potion on Dumbledore's order and could not participate) Sirius jabbed his elbow into Remus ribs.
"Look at this one." and he pointed to a pink haired woman ... girl. Remus bristled: "She is still a child."
"Yeah, but a hot one. My cousin."
"You are disgusting, Sirius."
"Says the bloke who is shagging Snape ... you, my friend, need to get laid properly, and I can tell you, this chick's not shy at all. Besides - she isn't as young as she looks. She is an Auror in training, one of Moody's protegeés."
As if she had heard them the pink-haired girl turned and smiled at him, and somehow Remus felt this smile went straight to his cock.
Despite her youth Tonks was a hardworking, serious Auror in training, grounded and friendly unlike the highly strung, volatile Snape. Despite her childish looks, her pink hair and her deliberately immature attitude she was bright.
She was also beautiful in a sexual, almost vulgar way. She did try to disguise that with her tomboyish behavior, her muggle clothes - boy jeans and t-shirts, and sneakers, but she could not hide her sexuality. It was radiating off her, so strongly that Remus had difficulties to remain polite and gentlemanly with her. Sometimes he just wanted to spell her clothes off, spread her legs and fuck her, right there.
Sirius didn't leave him alone. "Look at her." he always said. "Isn't it hot what she's wearing today?" - and Remus could not help but looking and being aroused and nervous. He would have never thought that he would lust after someone so strongly, but it made him feel alive.
Of course he was aware that he was distracting himself from his current situation with Snape. Tonks was easier to handle. And unlike Snape, Tonks would sooner or later take him to bed. She had already told him in many ways she would. The way she smiled at him, the way she sometimes didn't wear a bra and displayed her nipples shamelessly and rubbed herself on him.
During Dumbledore's strategic talks he would often drift off and start fantasizing about her.
Unlike Snape's her skin would be so young and soft and smooth. Instead of bitterness and darkness and mistrust, there would be fucking, most likely sucking, giggling, dirty talk. She definitely looked as if she was not averse to some dirty pillow talk.
And none of the tedious rest.
How could have anyone resisted? Remus didn't believe in resisting. After all he was not Snape. She was too young, true, but she looked delicious.
And so, one night, after a couple of drinks, after one of his particularly unsatisfying outings with Severus - no blow job, no handjob, no nothing, but tiresome somewhat erratic ranting about Dumbledore and Potter - he finally did fuck her, in a side street, right against a brick wall and she moaned and screamed without any shame, and she didn't even mind that he pulled up her tight t-shirt, so everyone who passed could see her firm, full breasts with their rosy nipples fully erect.
Some days later she visited him. Although he was shocked about her straightforwardness - what if Severus had visited him -- he did have sex with her again, and although - or because - he didn't really understand her -- it was great sex. The artless, careless fucking was liberating. Finally, finally, something inside him cheered.
She seemed intent on driving him crazy. (Well, so did Snape apparently but Tonks had a nicer way to do it.) She showed up without her underwear, admittedly a classic, but still good. She never wore a bra and drove Remus insane when she stuck her breasts into his face and offered herself. She went down on her knees and took out his cock and sucked it, grinning. She climbed on his lap in the kitchen and rode him.
She was not afraid.
Unlike Snape who had to be entertained and courted and constantly reassured, Tonks was chatty, funny and lighthearted. In her presence Remus could finally relax. She laughed a lot and Remus liked that. Snape was a dark dungeon with dark secrets and dark corners. Tonks was a sun ray, a garden of lust and flesh and sinful, delicious sex. She had nothing to hide.
It was heaven and hell.
Sometimes he couldn't help himself but thinking of Snape while shooting his come into Tonk's accommodating mouth. A bad conscience was a waste of time, not that he had so much left with being a werewolf and all, but it did make him think. It made him think how badly he wanted to fuck Snape. Only Snape wouldn't let him. He would suck him. He would give him hand jobs. He would kiss. He would not let him fuck his cunt.
And that was why Remus didn't really have to have a bad conscience when he slept with Tonks.
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