whitestar (whitestar) wrote in lupin_snape, @ 2008-10-06 19:38:00 |
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Current location: | Hogwarts |
Entry tags: | fic: r, prompt: fantasy fest 08 |
Fantasy Fest: Short Fic Prompt #44 - Three Words, Eight Letters - Pt 2
Here's Part Two for "Three Words, Eight Letters". Sorry for the long wait, but it's slowly getting done and as promised, it will be completed :) Enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think ^_^
Title: Three Words, Eight Letters - Part 2: Reconciliation (2/5)
Author: whitestar (whitestar_alpha on LJ/whitestar or IJ)
Characters: Remus Lupin/Severus Snape, Sirius Black/OC, Harry Potter
Rating: R (this part)
Word count: 6850
Warnings: AU, angst, gen, h/c, non-canon, post-war, romance, slash, language
Summary: After the War, Remus awakes in St. Mungo's and finds that Severus is alive and was always working for the Order. Regret and desire create their own war within Remus as he tries to regain what he thought he once lost.
Prompt: Written for the lupin_snape Fantasy Fest 2008. Short fic Prompt #44 -- S&R survived DH. After Harry's revelation, many people owe Severus apology -- including Remus.
Notes: This is my first attempt at a prompt in a fest. Its turning out much longer that I expected. Even if I don't finish this story by the cut-off date, I will finish it because if I don't, I'll drive myself crazy! I also know what it's like to read an unfinished fic. So whoever asked for this do not fear, I won't do that to you, this will be completed. Many thanks to my wonderful betas: brighty18 on Live journal, geek6 on Live Journal, and starcrossed (kibatsu on LJ/starcrossdkayla on IJ).
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the "Harry Potter" characters in this fic, except for my own created characters. No money is made from this fic.
Remus quietly closed the bedroom door behind him and leisurely made his way down to breakfast, feeling more rested than he had since his return from hospital. Stepping into the kitchen, he found Sirius hunched over the Daily Prophet and stuffing the last bit of his toast into his mouth while reaching for his coffee. Remus strode over to the kitchen chair opposite Sirius and gripped the worn wood of the chair back, pulling it out to take a seat. Once he sat down, Kreacher slowly made his way to the table balancing breakfast and juice on a tray. Remus's stomach grumbled at the delicious smells wafting from the plate filled with eggs, sausage, bacon, and toast.
"Good morning Kreacher, and thank you. The food smells delicious," Remus said, smiling at the house-elf who set the plate, along with a large glass of orange juice, down carefully on the table in front of him.
"Mr. Lupin is welcome," Kreacher replied, without any added bitter comment.
"Well, I appreciate your work Kreacher. Oh, and please, I think it's about time you called me Remus don't you think?"
Kreacher looked up at Remus and nodded. "If you want more food, I will get you more, Mr. Remus," Kreacher said and shuffled away.
Remus watched Kreacher leave then turned to eat his breakfast, only to find Sirius watching him over the edge of his paper. Remus reached for his glass of orange juice and took a sip, then put the glass back down before speaking. "Why is Kreacher behaving so much better Padfoot?" he asked.
"He changed after Voldemort died and Harry gave him Regulus's locket," Sirius said in a flat tone. He stared at Remus intently before a faint smile pulled at his lips. "You look like you got a good night's sleep."
Something in Sirius's smile and the way it didn't quite reach his eyes, along with the way he couldn't seem to stop staring, alerted Remus to his friend's odd mood.
Remus watched as Sirius's eyes started to flicker around the kitchen trying to avoid eye contact now that he was giving Sirius his full attention.
"Morning, Padfoot. What's on your mind? You seem rather subdued this morning. Didn't you sleep well?"
The chair creaked as Sirius shifted around uneasily, and he stared down at the paper again. He smoothed the paper out carefully, then set to folding it into a smaller, and smaller square.
Remus pushed his breakfast plate to the side and folded his hands on the table. His eyes followed Sirius's movements as he continued with the paper folding. "OK, Padfoot, tell me what's wrong. You clearly have something on your mind."
Sirius frowned and looked up from the paper at Remus. "Yeah, Moony, I do." His eyebrows pulling further together into a deeper frown, Sirius stared at Remus, and cleared his throat. "I guess I should just spit it out, yeah?" He averted his eyes and ran a hand through his hair, then let out a short breath through his lips. Raising his head Sirius's blue eyes finally met Remus's amber ones and held. "After our conversation last night, I did some thinking. Some memories during the war started coming back to me. I have to ask, Moony. I got the feeling there was something going on between you and Snivelly before he killed Dumbledore. Tell me it's not true, mate." Sirius's piercing look bore into Remus as strongly as any talented Legilimens, and apprehension played across his features as he held his breath waiting for Remus's answer.
Remus tried to swallow as his mouth suddenly went dry and his throat constricted. He could do nothing but stare back into his friend's steel blue eyes.
"Ahhh, Moony! Not Snivellus!" Sirius gripped the edge of the table so tightly his knuckles turned white, and he rolled his eyes towards the ceiling in exasperation. "Why didn't you tell me you were looking for a quick shag? I could've easily found you a young Auror or at least someone not as ugly. Shite! I can't believe you were that desperate!" Sirius moaned in disbelief as he stared back at Remus. "How can you be so stupid, Moony? You're the one that was supposed to have more sense than all the rest of us rolled up together. You know what Snivellus is like. He'll drag you down with him and then stomp on you when you're lying there in the mud," Sirius scowled at Remus from across the table, conflicting emotions flashing across his face in rapid succession - disbelief, exasperation, anger and worry. He propped his elbows up on the table and rubbed his hands over his face before he dropped them back down with a thump. Sirius shook his head and whispered, "I can't believe it, Moony, I really can't believe it. You and Snivellus."
Remus lowered his head and did not respond. There was no way Sirius could, or would even want to, understand how good it felt fucking Severus. Those few furtive, stolen moments they had found together, and which they kept secret from everyone, kept them both sane during the madness of the war. He relished the times he had escaped into nothing but the scent and taste of Severus's hot sweat. The moments when Severus would come undone, writhing and moaning beneath him, and it was all because of him. Remus's hands twitched as he imagined them roaming over the hard, sharp contours of Severus's body again. There was nothing delicate or fragile about the other wizard and he did not want Severus any other way.
Sirius continued to speak, and Remus was quickly brought back to the present.
"Moony, promise me you'll stay away from him while he's here, yeah? He may have been on the Order's side and all that rubbish, but he's still Snivellus. I don't like him, and never will. Promise me, all right?" Sirius paused for an answer, the silence emphasizing his desire for any sort of agreement.
Remus raised his head and looked over at Sirius without uttering a word.
Sirius shook his head. "I hope I can take that as sort of a yes." Arms crossed and resting on the table, Sirius leaned forward, his face a mask of worry and concern. He locked onto Remus's eyes with an intense stare and pleaded in a low and urgent voice, "You're my best mate, Moony, and I don't want you getting hurt. Snivellus is bad news. Stay away from him, please."
When Remus still did not answer, Sirius leaned back in his chair and sighed, disappointment written on his face over Remus's lack of a promise. "I have to leave for Hogwarts now. I'm working on a special project in the dungeons, I'll tell you about it later tonight. Remember, Falke is here if you need anything, or if Snivellus gives you any trouble. You also have a direct line to Kingsley's office. Anything you need, they'll get it for you. I'll be back by supper with Harry. Sorry to leave you alone today, Moony, if you'd like I can get someone to stay with you."
"I'll be fine, Padfoot," Remus reassured Sirius. "I'll rest like I was instructed and catch up on some reading. Poppy will be by later today to check up on me anyway. Go on," Remus gave a weary smile.
Giving Remus one last worried look, Sirius got up from his chair and headed for the door.
After finishing his breakfast, Remus picked up the Daily Prophet Sirius had left behind, and made his way into the sitting room. He wandered over to one of the comfortable reading chairs near the window and took a seat. Settling back to read, Remus propped his feet lazily up on the footstool and waited for Madam Pomfrey to arrive. He was almost half way through reading the paper when the Floo activated. Remus looked up in time to see Poppy stepping out into the sitting room with her medical bag, vanishing the soot from her hair and clothing.
"Hullo Poppy," Remus called to her with a grin.
Poppy glanced over at Remus and smiled. "Why hullo, Remus. How are you feeling today?"
Remus put down the paper, pushed himself out of the chair and walked over to Poppy. "I'm doing well thank you, physically, anyway. Although some of the surprises I received yesterday were quite emotionally shocking, to say the least."
"Oh dear!" Poppy frowned at Remus in concern. "Sirius didn't tell you about Severus staying here, did he?"
Remus shook his head. "No, he didn't. I didn't find out until I had arrived."
Poppy scowled and shook her head. "That young man! He's never been very responsible. I will not tolerate him stressing my patients with sudden shocks. Don't you worry, Remus," Poppy said, patting his arm gently, "I will have a stern talk with him, mark my words!"
Remus had no doubt she would, he only wished he could see Sirius's face when Poppy got hold of him.
"Shall we go to the kitchen, Remus? It will make it easier for me to run my scan and we can discuss anything else you need to ask."
"Of course."
Back in the kitchen, Poppy set her bag on the table, popping open the latch and pulling out what appeared to be a type of medical wand Remus had not seen before. Shorter than her personal wand, this wand shone with runic markings and deeply-inset gems and stones of various types and colours along its length.
"Could you stand over here, Remus?" Poppy motioned.
Remus stepped closer, watching Poppy slowly slide the wand sideways a couple of hand spans away from his body, from head to toe.
"You mentioned you're feeling better?" Poppy asked, glancing up at him. "How did you sleep last night?"
"I slept quite well," Remus answered, craning his neck to peek at the glowing symbols and stones. "It probably had something to do with being able to sleep in my own bed."
Poppy smiled up at him. "Yes, that does seem to make a remarkable difference in recovery. Your readings do indicate you're recovering very well. Continue taking the potions you were given, rest as often as you can, and I see no reason for you not to be completely healed by the full moon."
Remus sighed. Yes, the Wolfsbane. He'd like someone to deliver it, and he also needed to find a place to stay during his transformation.
"Poppy, will you be delivering the Wolfsbane when it's time, or will someone from the Ministry be doing that?" he inquired.
"I can deliver the Wolfsbane if you don't have any objections?" Poppy stated. "I would like to take some readings after you take it to ensure there are no adverse reactions in mixing your healing potions with the Wolfsbane. It's my cautious nature you understand," she replied with a smile.
"No, no objections. I'm relieved to know that you'll be delivering it to me," Remus said. If he wanted to be truthful with Poppy, relief was an understatement. He almost always came away feeling inferior and humiliated when he dealt with the Ministry. Most of the employees would whisper and steal looks at him from the corners of their eyes then move away when he walked by. They would bypass his name in the queue even if he had arrived well before others. And any help they gave him, they gave very grudgingly. At the worst, some of the wizards were outright hostile with their insults, but restrained themselves short of forcing a duel within the Ministry. Of course not everyone at the Ministry felt the same way about werewolves he had to admit, but they were few and very far between, so he wanted to avoid having to deal with any of them if at all possible.
"Good, that's settled then. Now, are there any questions you would like to ask me before I head up to visit Severus?"
"Yes, there is, actually. What do you think about me visiting Severus a few hours a day? I thought he might do with some company."
Poppy's face brightened as she looked up at Remus. "That would be a wonderful idea! I don't believe leaving Severus alone in his room is doing his health any good. He needs someone to talk to. Unfortunately, I can't be here all day for him, and it seems no one else can tolerate being in his presense. It would do him a world of good, even if you just sat in the same room and didn't converse."
"Good, I was hoping you'd say that," Remus smiled.
Tilting her head to the side, Poppy bit her lower lip and continued to look up at Remus.
"Is there something wrong, Poppy?"
"No, not in the least. I just had an idea that could help solve a problem I was concerned about."
"Oh? What is it?" Remus asked. "Maybe I can help."
Poppy's face broke into a grin at Remus's offer. "I was hoping you could," she said, before explaining further. "I've been worried that there seems to be no one who Severus trusts enough to change his bandages if I was unable to tend to his wounds. I believe he would allow you to do so, if I showed you how to care for his injuries. It would ease my mind tremendously if I knew he was being well looked after."
"I would be happy to help," Remus agreed, a wide grin spreading across his face and his stomach flipping as if in celebration. "When would you like me to start?"
"Thank you, Remus!" Poppy's face relaxed in relief. "What do you say we begin tomorrow? I'll explain the healing process, the potions and answer any questions you need answered then."
"That sounds fine," Remus smiled.
Poppy smiled back and patted Remus's arm. "You're a good man Remus. I hope some day Severus realises that."
"What?" Remus blinked at Poppy. "What do you mean?" She couldn't possibly know what had gone on between Severus and him... could she?
"Well, I've done enough chatting," Poppy answered with a twinkle in her eyes. "Severus will be wondering why I'm late, and you know how he's such a stickler for schedules," she grinned, closed her medical bag with a snap and left the kitchen, her robes swirling about her.
Remus stood in the kitchen trying to understand what Poppy meant by her statement as he watched the Healer vanish out the kitchen door. If Poppy did know about the two of them, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. She sounded as if she approved, and he could certainly use all the people on his side when Sirius got wind of what he was up to; especially if his plan worked out the way he hoped. Drifting back into the sitting room, Remus strode over to pick up the Prophet he had left on the chair and then headed for the stairs. He made his way to his room to finish reading the paper and to wait for Poppy to leave. Once Poppy finished tending to Severus's wounds, he'd wait a bit before he went and finally paid Severus a visit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Almost an hour later Remus heard Poppy talking to the Auror, and then walk past his bedroom door. Remus waited a few minutes longer before leaving his room, and head down the hallway toward Severus's room. As he approached, the Auror sitting outside the door tucked 'The Daily Prophet' into his waistcoat and stood to meet him. Remus held out his hand in greeting to the tall, dark-haired, young man.
"Hullo, you must be Auror Falke."
Auror Falke gave Remus a broad smile as he shook his hand. "Pleased to meet you, Mr. Lupin. I apologise for the bad impression I must have made when we first met."
"Oh, no apologies necessary. You were doing your job, and I know how Sirius can be," Remus said with a smile. "I understand Severus is allowed to have visitors?"
"Yes, he is Mr. Lupin. However, I must warn you, Mr. Snape has not been cooperative with any one except Madam Pomfrey."
"I don't believe there will be a problem. I have my wand, and from what Sirius has told me, Severus is not in the best of health at the moment."
"No, he isn't. Madam Pomfrey is concerned with his refusal to eat, and drink. Maybe you could give a try at convincing him to eat something?"
"I'll try, but I can't guarantee anything, Severus is a very stubborn man."
"If you need anything, give a shout. I take few breaks, but when I do, I'll have to ask you to leave the room."
"Completely understandable," Remus nodded before he turned away.
Remus rapped on the half closed bedroom door and stuck his head around the edge before entering.
"Severus?" He spoke into the quiet room. There was no answer and Remus called out again. "Severus? Are you awake?"
Remus heard stirring, and saw the form in the bed turn his head toward him.
"Well, well, look what the Mutt dragged in," Snape commented with a sneer, followed by a spat of coughing.
"Hullo Severus," Remus said, as he stepped into the room. "I hope I didn't wake you."
"Why would you care even if you did, Lupin?"
Remus walked further into the room. "As hard as it may be for you to believe Severus, I didn't come here to harass you."
"Then why did you come here Lupin? Did you come here to gloat? I'm sure you're as happy as your mongrel friend to see me locked up in this wretched place. The Ministry must have found it quite humorous to keep me bound to this house with an insane Azkaban escapee as a warden."
"I'm not here to gloat, Severus."
"Then what do you want?" Snape snarled. "If you have something to say, say whatever pathetic things you need to get off your chest, then get out!" Dark eyes glittered with anger and fire in sharp contrast to the Potions Master's worn and beaten appearance.
"Actually, I've come to keep you company," Remus said, walking over to Severus's bed and smiling down at the other wizard. "I thought you were probably bored up here with no one to talk to."
"I prefer being bored by myself, rather than bored with you standing there."
Remus looked around the bedroom and spotted a chair that was resting up against the wall. He strode over to get it and pulled the chair up near the bed. "Then I'll sit." Taking a seat, Remus crossed his legs and waited, ready for whatever Severus's reaction might be to the uninvited visitation.
"Why you arrogant prick! I didn't give you permission to stay, and I don't need your pity! Get out!" Snape raged as he searched frantically for something to throw at Remus, but it appeared that everything he could reach within arm's length of the bed had already been thrown.
"I must say your temper certainly hasn't improved since we last spoke." Remus gazed at the other wizard calmly, not in the least bit perturbed by the outburst.
Snape opened his mouth to utter a reply, but instead his body convulsed with more racking coughs. He raised a shaking hand to his chest, inhaled a slow, deep breath, and glared over at Remus. Lowering his head back onto his pillow, Snape rolled onto his side, and turned his back.
Remus stayed and sat quietly as he watched the Potions Master sulk. His eyes wandered over the rigid form of the other wizard and he had to agree with Sirius, Severus was not looking well. The high, buttoned night shirt Severus wore hung limply over his thin frame. His black hair, always a point of ridicule by the Marauders and students alike, was still stringy in appearance, but now it had an unhealthy dullness rather than its usual greasy look. Remus saw how Severus didn't appear to have much strength when he turned over. He continued to watch as Severus's fingers plucked and struggled to pull the sheet and blanket over himself without success. With a light flick of his wand Remus settled the covers over Severus's shoulders, knowing he would not be thanked for his help.
After a few minutes, Remus let his gaze take in Severus's room. Except for the colour, it really wasn't much different from his own. The headboard of the imposing bed was made of dark-walnut with a large shield, and an elaborately styled "B" engraved in the centre. The bedposts were carved into intricate interwining strands of elegant vines and berries. The soft, silvery grey wallpaper, reflected the light from the burning candles easily about the room. Dado rails in a rich dusty-green matched the crown moulding that circled the bedroom against the high enchanted ceiling. Clouds drifted across the face of a gently shining sun as it shown down from the illusioned sky. Heavy draperies over the windows were closed against the brighter afternoon sun. Even from where he sat, Remus could see that the draperies were a luxurious, dark green brocade with silver thread outlining the serpent design woven throughout the fabric. Silver crystals trimmed the bottom of the floor length curtains. On the far wall facing the foot of the bed, was a large mirrored armoire. A simple bookcase, identical to the one in his room, but without books, sat in the far corner by the window. There was also a rather large, dark-walnut, roll-top desk with a fine leather chair near the bookcase. Remus noticed a door on the far side of Severus's bed, which he guessed was an adjoining loo similar to his own.
An hour had passed and Severus had yet to engage him in conversation or further acknowledge his presence. Remus quietly rose from his chair and headed for the door. He decided to forego visiting Severus until after the lessons with Poppy were over. There was no reason to add extra strain between them.
Remus left Severus's room and cast a silencing spell behind him at the door.
"Auror Falke, could I speak with you a moment?" Remus asked, once he shielded them from Severus's hearing.
"Yes, how can I help you?"
"Would it be possible to allow Severus some reading material?"
"I'm not sure Mr. Lupin. Mr. Snape has thrown everything within reach of his bed and we're trying to prevent him from aggravating his injuries when he lashes out by throwing objects. What did you have in mind in regards for reading material?
"I was thinking of something light, perhaps The Daily Prophet or some Potions Magazines. Either Poppy or I will be in the room and we can watch over him if he appears like he'll harm himself," Remus replied. "I think it will help relieve his boredom. He's an active man, and I'm sure being bedridden as he is, and not having anything to do, is creating more stress than is necessary."
"Certainly, that sounds reasonable," Auror Falke replied with a nod. "I'll speak with Auror Shacklebolt about your request later this evening when I give my report."
Remus smiled. "Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow, then." Remus turned and walked back down the hall toward the stairs. His body ached from sitting in the hard chair. He would remember to transfigure it into something more comfortable in the future. Feeling more tired after his encounter with Severus than he cared to admit, he decided to take Poppy's advice to rest as much as possible; a nice nap on the couch would do. Maybe he could even get in some more reading before Sirius and Harry returned for supper, and then he would discuss with them about possible locations for his transformation. He trusted them in helping him find a suitable location where he would not end up harming anyone. They might even already know of an appropriate place. His mind at ease over that topic, Remus entered the sitting room for his nap.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day Remus followed Poppy to Severus's room after his own physical exam was completed.
"Good morning, Auror Falke, and how are you this morning?" Madame Pomfrey greeted the Auror cheerfully.
"Very well, thank you, Madam Pomfrey," Falke replied as he stood at their approach. He looked over at Remus and nodded. "I've informed Auror Shacklebolt about Mr. Lupin assisting you with Mr. Snape's treatment. If you need anything just let me know." Falke gave them a pleasant smile and sat back down in his chair.
"Thank you, but I think we'll be fine," Poppy answered, as she knocked lightly on the door before pushing it the rest of the way open and walking into the room.
Remus looked over at the bed and saw that Severus had pulled himself somewhat upright against the headboard and was flipping through the pages of a Potions Magazine. A grin pulled at the corner of Remus's lips at seeing his request for Severus approved.
Snape looked up from his magazine when he heard them enter, and frowned. "What is he doing here?" he growled, slamming shut his magazine.
Madam Pomfrey walked over to the bed. "I asked Remus to be here, Severus."
"Why? Do you feel it necessary for me to be put on display to someone who will gleefully run back to Black, so they can both mock my physical condition?
"I hardly think Remus is the type to run to Sirius to mock your condition, do you Severus?"
"You obviously don't know them as well as I do," Snape retorted.
Madam Pomfrey scowled at Severus as if he were a recalcitrant first year. "The reason why I asked Remus to be here, is because I think it's important someone learn how to tend to your injuries in case it's ever needed. Now, you will hold your tongue if you can not treat Remus with respect."
Crossing his arms over his chest, Snape glared from Poppy to Remus and back again, his jaw clenched and his lips squeezed into a thin line, Snape's dark eyes could barely be seen behind mere slits. He refused to speak for the rest of the exam.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For the first couple of days, Remus watched Poppy attend to Severus's wounds and listened as she explained all the steps in the healing process. Despite how easy Poppy made it sound, it took Remus numerous attempts to learn the mechanics of the basic medical spells he needed to use in Severus's exam. Once Remus learned the spells, she let him change Severus's bandages.
It was the first time Remus had seen up close the bite Nagini had inflicted on Severus's neck, and the punctures still appeared raw and tender. The edges were swollen and red, each surrounding a deep hole that was healing from the inside out. Remus's fingers itched to reach out and touch the wounds to examine them up close, but he restrained himself. He was here to help Severus heal, not to satisfy his own curiosity, and especially not to cause any embarrassment between Severus and himself. He tried to think of something that would keep his mind off his desire to touch Severus's neck.
"Poppy, can you tell me more about this salve, and how it helps with the bleeding? When Arthur was bitten, he took blood replenishing potions every hour for months, because of the poison. I didn't think the Healers had come up with anything yet that could halt the continuous bleeding."
Remus heard a loud harrumph and looked over at Severus.
"No thanks to the Healers, Lupin. Incompetent dunderheads. I would be dead if I relied on their woefully inadequate ministrations," Snape growled. "The potion and salve are my own creations, and were simple enough to create," Snape said, with a hint of pride.
"What?" Remus asked in surprise. "You created this?"
Snape nodded. "Yes."
"I think it would be good if you explained, Severus," Poppy chimed in. "It's important that Remus understand the nature of the salve and blood replenishing potions."
Snape quirked an eyebrow at Remus, as if contemplating whether or not Remus would understand. "If I must. I will endeavour to keep my explanation simple, so that even you will understand," he said at last.
"After I observed the results of Nagini's attack on Arthur Weasley, I knew I would need a potion to counteract the poison. This was my first concern. It was the poison that kept the wounds from healing, allowing the extreme blood loss to continue. The potion would need to be active in my system long enough to counteract the poison until, either I could retrieve more antivenin or apply the salve. Once I worked out a feasible antivenin, which I took daily, my next concern was blood replenishing potions that I would not need to take every hour," Snape commented with a wave of his hand. "It was quite easy to come up with a superior version. I had only the one vial on me when I was bitten and had barely time to take it before Potter and Miss Granger appeared. Someone must have found the empty vial near my body and given it to the Healers. They were able to duplicate my work, since I am currently taking my version of the blood renewal potion. The salve is to help keep the wound open for air circulation and to halt development of infection, but also contains ingredients which counteract the poison. I can only surmise that someone was intelligent enough to consult the Headmaster's portrait. I had informed him of my success in creating the salve and where my notes were kept in case...in case I survived." Snape finished speaking and watched Remus closely, his dark eyes fixed on Remus's own.
"Amazing, Severus!" Remus grinned like he had won the Triwizard's Cup. "I knew you were excellent at Potions, but that is simply remarkable!" He stared at the other wizard in admiration. Severus's uncanny ability to create new formulas had always impressed him, but Severus had simply outdone himself this time.
Snape gave a soft huff, lowered his head and smoothed away the non-existent wrinkles in the sheets. All the while a faint smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
While Remus continued to practice during the daily exams and Poppy gently corrected, they chatted about the rebuilding of Hogwarts, and the gossip around Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley. Remus enjoyed Poppy's lively talk, and although it appeared that Severus wasn't listening, a scowl or a smirk would cross his face, usually at some ridiculous piece of news. Remus also learned to stay out of the way when Poppy badgered the Potions Master into eating and drinking enough to keep up what strength he had.
"Well, I can say that I'm very happy with the way you've picked up the lessons, Remus. I won't need to worry about Severus if I can't be here for any reason," Poppy said. "Of course I will continue to arrive every day for both your exams, unless I have an emergency, and you can continue to assist if you'd like, Remus."
"I'd be glad to continue and help, Poppy."
"I will see you both again tomorrow. In the meantime, I need to attend to the patients that still remain at the school."
Remus rose from the straight back chair to accompany Poppy out as usual.
"Oh, no need to see me out this time. I can find my own way," Poppy laughed. "Why don't you stay and keep Severus company? I'm sure both of you have much to talk about," Poppy said with a knowing smile.
Glancing over at Severus, Remus saw the quirk of an eyebrow before Severus's face went blank.
"Very well Poppy, we'll see you tomorrow," Remus replied, and watched the Healer leave the room.
Remus pulled the chair over to the side of the bed and with a wave of his wand, transformed it into a comfortable reading chair. Next he took one of the extra candles and transformed it into a foot stool. Ignoring Severus's cold stare, Remus took a seat and opened the book he brought with him to read.
The two wizards sat in silence, the stillness broken occassionally by the flipping of pages or the snorts and harrumphs from the Potions Master as he read the Prophet. The only comment came from the Auror at lunch, who asked if they wanted Kreacher to bring them any food or drink.
"Did you want anything to eat, Severus?" Remus asked the brooding wizard.
Getting no reply, Remus requested a ham and pickle sandwich, crisps, tea, and an apple for himself, and then went back to his reading.
Kreacher appeared shortly, carefully balancing the lunch on a tray. He set the tray on the small side table he materialized next to Remus's chair.
"Thank you, Kreacher," Remus smiled at the house-elf and watched as Kreacher shuffled back out the door.
Remus crossed his long legs on the foot stool, relaxed further into his chair and reached for his sandwich. He carefully kept his eyes on his food, but he noticed the quick sideways glances that Severus cast at him as he ate his lunch and enjoyed his tea. After he finished his lunch, Remus picked up his book and resumed reading. He must have sat for another hour enjoying his book before Severus finally spoke.
"You look like shite, Lupin," Snape commented, his eyes traveling over Remus's face. "Did Greyback finally get fed up with your refusal to join his pack?"
Remus blinked at the name, but calmly replied as he put down his book, "No. As a matter of fact it was Dolohov. He seemed to appreciate your Sectumsempra Curse."
Snape's eyebrows knit together slightly before he replied. "It appears both of us have more marks to add to our collections."
"What's a few more scars among friends?" Remus joked. Unexpectedly he noticed a brief smirk show at the corner of Severus's mouth, before it disappeared just as suddenly. Remus came to a quick decision and leaned forward in his chair, placing his feet on the floor and his hands on his knees. His tongue flicked out to wet his lips and he stared at Severus carefully before he spoke.
"Severus?" Remus began uneasily.
Snape's eyes narrowed and his face stilled as he looked back at Remus.
"Severus, I need to talk to you."
Snape groaned and rolled his eyes. "What is it Lupin? Don't tell me you're going to bare your soul to me because I spoke to you?"
Remus gave a small grin. "Something like that." He shifted around on the edge of the chair, steeling his courage.
"Well, get on with it then," Snape motioned with a dismissive wave of his hand. "May as well confess everything so I can rip it to shreds and we can go back to ignoring each other."
Remus cleared his throat and swallowed. "Harry told me how you were on the Order's side all along, and about the sacrifice you made."
Snape let out a snort of disdain.
"Severus please, hear me out," Remus pleaded. "This isn't easy."
Snape stared blankly back at Remus, no hint of what he thought showed on his face.
Giving Severus a nervous half smile, Remus took a deep breath to help calm himself before he spoke. "I am sorry Severus. I am so very sorry for not believing in you." Remus peered directly into the other wizard's dark eyes, willing him to use Legilimency so he could see that he meant every word he said.
"It is not necessary for me to forgive you, Lupin. You were supposed to believe my actions. If you had trusted me in the slightest, I would have not only endangered myself further, but the desired outcome would not have been achieved. It was necessary that everyone be convinced of my treachery. You wish for me to forgive you to assuage your guilt. I can not give it to you."
"You're wrong Severus, it isn't about my guilt. Even if you did your job, I was wrong. You have always thought I listened too much to the opinions of others, letting other people lead me around, and you were right. I listened to what other people told me about you, and went along with their opinions concerning Albus's death. I should have formed my own thoughts, even if it meant going against what they believed. Even though we were not close friends, we were fellow Order members, and...more. I would have questioned any rumours concerning any of the other members, and wondered if they were lies, but I failed you when I didn't do the same for you. I should have had more faith, questioned that maybe not everything was as it appeared. I, more than anyone, should know this after what happened with Sirius. I abandoned and failed you because I was shocked, and too worried about what people would think if I didn't go along. I was wrong for not trusting you and for not coming to my own conclusions. And for that, I am so very, very sorry."
Remus's heart pounded in his chest, and he could hear it loudly in his ears. He failed Severus and he knew it. He needed Severus to know that he knew it. As he confessed to his failings, Remus saw Severus lower his head and turn away, his long dark hair hiding his features. Even if he could have seen the other wizard's face, Remus guessed that Severus wore his usual, inscrutable mask.
The silence stretched out with Severus's slow breathing the only marker of the passage of time. Remus perched on the edge of his chair, head bent and shoulders hunched. His eyes gazing yet unfocused, on his clasped hands in his lap. Finally, wiping the palms of his hands on his trouser legs, Remus rose from his chair and without a word, turned to go.
"Going somewhere Lupin?"
Remus turned around, startled to hear himself spoken to. "What?"
"I asked, 'Are you going somewhere Lupin?'"
"I thought you would prefer if I left," Remus whispered.
Snape quirked an eyebrow. "After everything you said about abandoning me, you decide to leave? It makes me wonder if you meant a single word of your confession."
His heart twisted at Severus's near accusation. "That's not true Severus! I meant every word, I..." he vehemently began, but his protest died on his lips when a slight smirk appeared at the corner of Severus's mouth.
"Really, Lupin. Sometimes, it is all too easy to provoke you."
Remus closed his eyes and let out a long breath, relief flooding through his body at the sound of Severus's words. Whether or not Severus completely believed him, only time would tell. He would take whatever gesture of friendship Severus offered him right now. Remus walked back over to the bed and gazed down at the other wizard. "Would you be interested in something to eat or possibly some tea, Severus?" he asked in a hopeful tone. "You haven't eaten much since I've been here."
Snape searched Remus's eyes with his dark ones, and nodded. "Yes. That is acceptable."
Remus smiled, called Kreacher to bring them tea and sandwiches, and returned to settle in his chair.
TBC
Part One: Revelations