firefly124 (firefly124) wrote in lupin_snape, @ 2008-02-15 09:46:00 |
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Entry tags: | fic: pg, trading places challenge |
Trading Places fic: Song of Mourning, Song of Hope, Song of Joy, PG
Title: Song of Mourning, Song of Hope, Song of Joy
Author: firefly124
Pairings: RL/SS, also RL/NT, SS/LE
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~8200
Summary: In the face of what seemed to be the ultimate betrayal by the man he loved, Remus accepted the comfort being offered to him. Things seem a bit clearer after death, and he strives for the chance to make things right.
A/N: Trading Places fic for skitty_kat’s compelling picture, Bribing the Ferryman. I went a bit afield from the written prompt that went with it, but I hope you’ll like it, skitty_kat! Many thanks to ubiquirk for beta-reading and helping me find my way out of some of the corners and plot holes I wrote my way into, and to saracen77 for Brit-picking. Any remaining errors are mine.
June 1997
The last echoes of phoenix song had faded some time ago. Remus wished it had lasted longer. Perhaps if the bird had sung for another hour, or day, or month, his heart might have begun to be healed.
Dumbledore was dead. Severus had killed him. Severus had killed him. If the phoenix had sung for a year without ceasing, Remus doubted it would have been enough to heal that.
It was unnaturally quiet in the Hospital Wing now. Every sound seemed magnified. Fleur was still sniffling on Molly’s shoulder, and Poppy’s shoes clicked hollowly against the stone floor.
Remus finally met Tonks’ eyes. She was so young, so earnest, and the emotion on her face was so genuine.
There wouldn’t be guessing games with her. She wouldn’t expect him to translate a snarl into an endearment, wouldn’t behave like a completely different person when they weren’t alone. Wouldn’t use his lycanthropy against him. Wouldn’t turn out to be a traitor.
He should hold firm. It wasn’t fair to her. None of it was. But he’d never been particularly strong-willed. If he had been, maybe things would be different. Perhaps he would have stopped James and Sirius’ bullying behavior. Perhaps Severus wouldn’t have been driven to join the Death Eaters. Perhaps Dumbledore would still be alive.
Regrets were useless, he knew. Somehow, that wasn’t enough to stop him having them.
He pried her fingers from the front of his robes, fully intending to push her away. But he’d never been particularly strong-willed. Instead, he pulled her close, letting his tears fall into her hair as hers dampened the front of his robes, and he abandoned the last shred of hope that had been murdered tonight.