melfinatheblue (melfinatheblue) wrote in luciusfqf, @ 2007-12-20 14:42:00 |
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Entry tags: | fiction: lucius/narcissa, fiction: lucius/severus, het, slash |
Lucius Malfoy and the Cauldron of Doom part 2
Title:Lucius Malfoy and the Cauldron of Doom, part 2
Author/Artist:melfinatheblue
Rating:PG
Pairing:Lucius/Severus and Lucius/Narcissa
Summary:Ooh, look, a staff meeting and a family dinner! And an impassioned speech.
Warnings:mention of underage orgies and drug use
Prompt: Lucius has been a bad boy and as punishment, The Ministry force him to take over the job of Potions Master. No-one ever said The Ministry had any sense.
Notes:The second bit. Word count is 2770, (Oh, and I should warn that while I know where I'm ending up, what happens in the middle is a bit of a surprise.) So, pairings may change as I go along.
First bit here
His first staff meeting was just like being back in the Ministry. Familiar faces around the table, people droning on and on about nonsense that no one but they cared about, oh yes, this was exactly the same, well except that everyone was scowling every time they looked at him. That was new. Must have read the conjugal visits section. He glanced over at Vector, who was still blathering along about the budget.
"And now if you turn to page 14, you'll see that..."
"Excuse me, Vector?"
"Yes, Malfoy?"
"There's a mistake in this column."
"What! Where?"
"See, right here."
"Oh dear Merlin, I need to fix this at once."
Lucius looked around. Everyone at the table was staring at him in confusion.
"What? Did you all just think I was just a handsome face and a good head of hair?"
It was McGonagall who answered him.
"No, I think most of us just didn't remember how good with numbers you are. Now, we have a topic of some importance to discuss. Two of our houses are now without heads. So we need to decide, and quickly, who is going to head Gryffindor and Slytherin?"
"Well, Malfoy's the only professor we've got who's from Slytherin. That makes the choice easy."
"Wait a minute. So we're going to increase the divisions between Slytherin and the rest of the Houses by putting me, a former Death Eater, in charge. Oh, that's a really good idea. Like the Slytherins don't feel isolated and defensive enough already after our dear Headmistress's little speech before the battle last year? I thought we were all trying to build bridges, not set the last remnants of them on fire?"
McGonagall tried to interrupt, but Lucius just talked right over her.
"Look, these are children you're talking about. How bloody stupid are you people? They'll come to Hogwarts with certain prejudices already stuck in their heads, and all you'll do is reinforce them, and it'll be the purebloods against the rest of the world all over again. I keep being told that the muggleborns are just like us, equal to us. Well, they get in and they want to muck with everything. And as long as you keep labeling the purebloods and their traditions as evil, that's just going to keep happening, and they're not going to see anything wrong with it. You wonder why we don't like them, why we hate them, well, they keep telling us we're backwards, archaic, wrong. And they do it all with a smile on their faces. I don't know about the rest of you lot, but I've had enough of war and death and pain to last several lifetimes. I never want to see my son have to lift a wand in defense ever again. And that is not going to happen if we keep isolating the Slytherins, if we put me in charge of Slytherin House. So figure out something else. I'll happily advise the Head of House. But I will not be the Head of House."
Lucius leaned back in his chair, and took a sip of water. It was Flitwick who finally said something.
"So, we, um, well, Smith, how do you feel about Slytherin House?"
"Me? Shouldn't someone British be Head?"
"Well, you're a pureblood, and you're neutral. Malfoy can tell you all about the House traditions and such, and anyone British would have graduated from one of the other three houses."
Alan Smith, the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, looked distinctly uncomfortable at this thought.
"So what kind of traditions are we talking about, Filius?"
"Well, each house has their own, and generally they tend to be initiation ceremonies, things like that."
"Orgies."
"Malfoy, did you just say orgies?"
"Yes."
"Malfoy, there will be no orgies while I am Headmistress."
"Funny, Dumbledore said the same thing."
"Wait, orgies!"
"Yes, orgies. Are you all really so obsessed with the idea? It's a seventh-year tradition. The Head of House is responsible for the contraceptive potions and lubricants, as well as insuring that no alcohol or drugs are involved. That's really it. Nothing like sex for blowing off steam when you're a stressed teenager."
"Wait, I'm organizing an orgy?"
"No, you just make sure that there are plenty of contraceptives available, and give them all a speech on responsible sex. Then you walk off. Or that's what Slughorn did, and that's what Severus always said he did."
"How many times do I have to say it, NO ORGIES!"
"Oh please. What happens in the Slytherin dormitories is only your business when it breaks major school rules. This is even in the House by-laws. You can go check. Now are we planning to move on to who's going to head Gryffindor House at any point today? I would like to get out of this meeting at some point."
"Smith, you're going to check with me on everything Malfoy tells you."
"Don't trust me, McGonagall?"
"Not in the slightest."
"Smith, check with Severus's portrait, if you don't believe me."
"And you think I trust Snape?"
"You don't trust Severus? After all he was working for your precious Dumbledore all along."
"One finger wrong Malfoy, and it's Azkaban for you. I think you keep forgetting that."
"And I think you keep forgetting if any of us set one foot wrong we'll have another war twenty years down the line. Excuse me for trying to have my priorities straight. Now, Gryffindor?"
The rest of the meeting dragged on. They picked someone Lucius vaguely remembered, the new Muggle Studies professor, as the Head of Gryffindor. The discussion about who was teaching sexual education this year was tabled for another time, and he was told never again to mention that idea about most experienced teaches. But eventually, aeons after lunch, a long while after tea, and just in time to be late to dinner, it was over. He was one of the first out of the room, anxious to get back to the manor and his last night of freedom. And a good meal, a glass of wine, Narcissa, and bed. Preferably in that order.
"Mr. Malfoy!"
'Damn, it's the American. No doubt he wants to discuss Slytherin traditions or some such.'
"Yes?"
"I was hoping we could discuss this House business, maybe over dinner?"
"Certainly. I was just on my way back to the Manor. You're welcome to join me."
"Manor?"
"Yes. Malfoy Manor. It's where I live."
"You live in an actual manor, or do you just call your house that?"
"It's been in the family since the Norman conquest. What do you think?"
"I will never get used to the age of everything in this country. Sure, I'd love to see this manor of yours. Must be a damn impressive bachelor pad."
Lucius raised an eyebrow, but chose not to say anything. He was rather sure he had mentioned Draco in his little speech.
"Hold on tight. You're going to have to come along by Side-Along to get through the wards. Got the portkey?"
Smith nodded and they both activated their portkeys to the Apparation Area. As soon as Smith arrived, Lucius grabbed him and Apparated them both to the Manor.
"Wow. You have peacocks."
"Yes. Narcissa breeds them. Now we'd better hurry. We're already late for dinner and still need to clean up and change."
"Wait, there's dressing for dinner? I have nothing to wear."
"We'll find you something. Now come along."
Lucius was practically having to drag Smith along the path.
"Look, Smith, the food is good, and no one bites, I promise. Now come along, please, if you're coming. I'm hungry."
Smith looked slightly panicked.
"Smith, I'm going to have dinner with my wife and son. My wife was also in Slytherin, and my son is currently in Slytherin. If you really want to discuss Slytherin House, you're in the right place. If you were planning on seducing me, you're going to have to wait till tomorrow. Now, coming or not?"
"That was blunt."
"I'm hungry and tired. Now come on."
Smith was looking at him with a strange expression on his face.
"What?"
"Did you mean what you said?"
"Which part?"
"The part about seduction having to wait until tomorrow."
"Yes. I'm sure if you ask our colleagues will happily give you all the gossip on what they think Severus Snape and I got up to."
"And what did you really get up to?"
"None of your business."
"Ah, but I'm not interested in wasting my time."
"And I'm not interested in airing my private life to a man I just met."
Thankfully by now they had arrived at the front door. Lucius opened it, and walked inside. Lurch was there waiting. Severus had nick-named Lurch, some sort of Muggle reference and now, for the life of him, Lucius could not recall Lurch's real name, not that it mattered.
"Lurch, I'll go clean up. Please find Mr. Smith a pair of robes to wear and take him into the dining room, please."
"Yes, master."
He saw Smith jump as Lurch spoke. He had a remarkably deep voice, especially for a house elf, and it generally surprised people the first time they heard it. That was the reason his last master had given him to Lucius, actually. He had found his voice too disturbing. Honestly, Lucius thought the man was an idiot. Lurch was a flawless servant, and not given to nattering about like Dobby always was.
"That's an odd house elf."
"He's a flawless servant. Now, he'll show you where you need to go. If you'll excuse me..."
Lucius walked slowly up the stairs. His back was getting worse again. He made a mental note to transfigure himself a more comfortable chair next time, whether McGonagall liked it or not. He was simply not up to sitting in an uncomfortable chair all day long without a break. He wandered into his room, and was surprised to see Draco lounging on his bed.
"Shouldn't you be at dinner?'
"Mother thought you might need some help dressing. And she figured I should warn you we've got company. "
"Your mother is a very wise woman. And who? I brought one of the new professors home."
"Well, you know how mother's been on this family kick?"
Lucius sat down heavily on the bed.
"Andromeda Tonks? Did she bring the cub?"
"Yes, and if mother hears you call him that, you'll have more to worry about than the start of term and your back."
"Damn. Please tell me he's not a werewolf."
"He's not a werewolf. Mother wouldn't let him in the house if he was. So anyway, I'm to tell you to be on your best behavior, not to say anything bad about muggleborns or halfbloods, to avoid any talk of politics, and generally be pleasant and polite or you'll be spending your last night at home in a guest suite. Now, here let's get you into dress robes, and neaten you up."
Lucius endured his son's grooming. He was not in a good mood.
"Father, smile. It won't kill you."
"Are you sure of that?"
"It's not so bad."
"You didn't spend your entire day in meetings with the simpering idiots Hogwarts calls a staff, people I get to call coworkers. You don't get to spend your last dinner at home playing nice with an in-law you haven't talked to in twenty plus years and a professor you don't even know. Just keep the pain medicine on hand. I may need it to get through this dinner."
Draco rolled his eyes, grabbed a small bottle off the nightstand, and helped Lucius get downstairs and into the dining room. He was putting rather more weight on him than usual, which was a bit alarming.
"Lucius, how good of you to finally join us."
'Oh joy, she's being sarcastic. Just what I need, sarcasm.'
"I am sorry, dearest, the meeting ran far over its alotted timespan."
Draco helped him sit, and he looked around the table. Smith looked positively panicked, a fact he found moderately amusing. Andromeda looked older than 'Cissa, but then again she was. The toddler next to her must be the grandson. Draco sat down next to Smith, across the table from Andromeda and next to his mother.
"You must be one of the new professors. I'm Draco. Nice to meet you. Would you pass this to my father, please."
"Certainly. I'm Professor Alan Smith. I'll be teaching Defense against the Dark Arts and apparently I'm now the head of Skythen House."
"Smith, first rule of being head of a house, learn the name. Slytherin."
"Oh, sorry."
"You're my new head of house?"
Draco's voice had raised alarmingly. Narcissa and Andromeda both looked shocked.
"Lucius, you didn't do anything about this? This is a slap in the face to anyone who's ever been in Slytherin."
"And why would Lucius be able to do anything about this? He's not a school governor."
"No, but he is a professor, 'Romy. I assume that the professors put forth candidates and the governors approve them."
"He's going to teach at Hogwarts! Who in Hades thought that was a good idea?"
Lucius uncapped the bottle and took a swig. So much for a quiet family dinner. Narcissa and Andromeda were yelling at each other, with Draco chiming in, Smith looked about to jump out the window, and the toddler was playing drums with the silverware. He could feel the pain potion taking effect. He stood up.
"ENOUGH!"
Everyone stopped and stared.
"Right. He's the head of Slytherin House because the only other choice was me, and that is a bloody stupid idea. Slytherin's already been vilified enough. I'm teaching because the Ministry ordered me to. And Smith will be a good head of House if I have to beat every one of our House values into him with a Beater's bat. Now I am hungry and tired and I want to have a nice dinner. We are going to manage that. After dinner the lot of you can argue each other to death if you want. The little one and I will just have to cope without you. We'll lead a lovely bachelor existance at Hogwarts together or something."
"Theodore."
"What?"
"Theodore. His name is Theodore. Teddy for short."
"Alright then. Lurch, if you would bring in the first course."
The dinner went surprisingly well. Andromeda, Draco, and Narcissa told Smith all about Slytherin, and Lucius had quite a bit of fun entertaining Teddy. He'd forgotten how much fun small children were. He resolved to ask Draco about grandchildren at the first available opportunity. After dinner they all (with the exception of Professor Smith, who plead exhaustion and returned to Hogwarts) retired to the salon, and it was there, with a sleeping toddler on his lap, and two glasses of wine and two dosages of pain potion in him that Lucius dropped off to sleep.
"You know, that is really sweet. I'm going to get a picture of that."
"I can't believe he took so easily to Teddy. Given the ancestry issue and all."
"Lucius likes children. He was very disappointed we couldn't have more after Draco. But after what happened the first time, well, we were just lucky to get Draco, really."
"Do you think he'll still like them after a year at Hogwarts?"
"I don't know. Honestly I doubt he'll make it a year. He's much more fragile, and in much more pain then he's willing to let on."
"Oh."
"He'll be fine. I won't let him push himself too hard."
"Thank you Draco."
"I should go, 'Cissa. Thank you, it was a nice night."
And Andromeda picked up Teddy and wandered out of the manor, leaving Narcissa and Draco to ponder an important question: how were they going to get a deeply asleep and rather heavy Lucius up the stairs and into bed?
Next bit here