Game Changer
When he went through his notes, Connor felt another piece of the puzzle click into place as far as his schoolwork went. He'd been assigned to a project to design a rough copy of a video game and then present it to the professor at the end of the semester. Some of the details were still fuzzy, but he'd sat up for most of the night poriing over his books and the work he'd already done. Still, he had decided to go ahead and pay a visit to his advisor, just in case there were other options open.
The campus of FKCC was smallish but well-kept, the newly built dorms catching the Destroyer's attention as he parked his motorcycle in the lot. He unslung his backpack and opened it to give the contents a final look. He'd made an appointment for twelve o'clock, and the light traffic had allowed him to be twenty minutes early. He walked at a leisurely pace, thinking that this place would be dwarfed in comparison to UCLA, where he'd tried the college route before. Then again, a smaller campus meant less pressure, at least for him. At least this time around he hadn't rushed into anything.
He opened the door at the Student Services building, then held it for a girl carrying an unwieldy stack of books. She muttered a thanks and Connor listened to his shoes make noise on the tiles as he walked down the silent hall. It was just a meeting, that was all. Like Whistler said, he could always change his major. At least he'd know what his choices were.
Mid-way down the corridor, a panel of glass windows opened into an office suite on the left. Gold lettering on the door announced 'Office of Academic and Career Advising'. Paper flyers had been taped all over the place, advertising free tutoring, an upcoming job fair, and reminders about mid-term examinations. A short, round receptionist took Connor's name and pointed to a row of seats squashed between artificial plants that needed dusting. A bowl of hard candy sat on an end table.
After a few minutes, the receptionist said, "Connor, your advisor's ready to see you," and pointed to an open door.
Ms. Shannon Forbes sat behind an L-shaped desk. The surface had a desktop computer and a telephone, stacks of papers in the 'in' and 'out' boxes, and foamy stress balls that people fiddled with when nervous. Behind her, a set of shelves was crammed with tri-fold binders and books like What Color is Your Parachute? and I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was. She used lamps instead of the fluorescent overheads, lending the office a nest-like feeling. A tabletop water fountain hummed in the corner. Occasionally, the pump hiccuped.
"Hi, Connor." She stood up and leaned across her desk to shake his hand. "I'm glad you came in."
"Shannon, hey." Good thing he'd remembered her name beforehand, otherwise he'd have been screwed. Connor took the chair on the other side of the desk, putting his backpack down on the floor near his feet. "Glad you had time for me this afternoon. With spring break just around the corner, there must be a lot of people needing stuff so they can get ready for their next classes. Are you looking forward to a short break?"
He rested his hands on the arms of the chair, then folded them together in his lap. On the far wall, there was a motivational poster of capped-and-gowned graduates in the process of getting their diplomas. He felt very self-conscious looking at it, his new shirt feeling starchy around the collar. "I wanted to see if it'd be possible to change my major."
Shannon smoothed her skirt and sat down again, rolling her chair closer to the desk. "It's a working break for staff," she said, smiling. Her hair was pulled back in clips above her ears, but she tucked at it anyway. "I don't know where I'd go if I did get one. I'm already in Florida." She opened a leather portfolio with a notepad in it and uncapped a pen, ready to take notes on the blank page. On her right, his student records were pulled up on the computer.
"A major change, huh?" She glanced at his electronic file again, refreshing her memories of his current major, grades, and progress to date. "I can help you with that. Would it be okay if I asked a few questions first?"
"Sure, go ahead. I haven't made up my mind about it yet, but I've been doing some thinking and I'm not sure this is what I want to do. I'd like to know what else is available."
He wondered if she'd want to see the work he was already doing, used his foot to pull the pack a little closer just in case. Prepared was good, even if he still felt uncertain about what he was actually doing. Still, better to have something and not need it than need it and not have it. "What did you want to ask?"
Shannon nodded. "Sure. Let's go through a few of my notes." She tilted the monitor screen so that Connor could see his file, too, if he wanted. "Last time we met was in October, when you registered for spring classes. You mentioned that you found the coursework challenging. It was harder than you expected it to be, but you liked the challenge." She straightened away from the monitor. The ink pen flipped gently between her fingers. "I'd be interested in hearing more about that. What's changed for you since October? Is it the satisfaction you're getting from the material or even the level of difficulty?"
He looked down at his fingers, stilling them because they were picking at the knees of his pants. "I can't say that anything's actually changed," he told Shannon somewhat carefully. "Professor North is a good instructor and I've enjoyed working with my project team so far. I'm just not sure that video game design is what I want to be doing as a career."
It wasn't a very articulate answer and he knew it, and he wished he could pinpoint when his alter self had decided that computer classes were what he wanted. Maybe he should have practiced talking about his reasons in front of the mirror at home before coming in here. "I guess I thought it'd be easier to do it now rather than wait for the end of the term."
The chair creaked as Shannon shifted her weight onto one hip and crossed her legs beneath the desk. "I understand, and I think it's smart that you're being proactive about it." The pen balanced between her thumb and forefinger. "If you change your major today, you'll still be only halfway through these Spring courses. We're past the deadline to drop them and you can't get your money back. So... If your grades are okay so far, and you're up to it, I'd suggest you go ahead and finish these classes out, no matter what you decide about your major."
She reached for a glossy booklet. "This is for you to read later on. It lists all the two-year programs we offer." Shannon opened up the booklet and smoothed out the crease so that Connor could see it. "We've added a few four-year programs, too. See right here? It's a good opportunity. They're actually taught out of the University of South Florida, but we've got a partnership with them, so you can attend down here. The lectures are broadcast."
She let go of the booklet and folded her arms on the desk. "Let's try something. Let's say there are no obstacles to your future. You can have anything you want. What kind of job do you see yourself doing? You don't have to be specific, but tell me what kinds of qualities it has."
Connor glanced at the booklet, settled back in the chair a bit. "I'd like to be doing something to help people, I guess that's the best way to describe it. I'm working security at one of the clubs on Duval Street right now, maybe if I could find something similar schoolwise that would help. Maybe EMT training? I'm pretty sure I don't have the grades for medical school or anything, but working on an ambulance crew would be a little more of what I'm looking for."
It would also have him running the risk of being up close and personal with vampire attacks and the aftermath thereof, but that was his life regardless. If he could save lives, even just a single one, he'd be helping. The Destroyer looked at the graduation poster again.
"I do intend to at least finish the project I'm working on now. It wouldn't be fair to my study partners to quit before this is done, they've worked just as hard as I have on it. And like I said, the decision hasn't been made yet, I'm just examining my options."
Shannon nodded. "So you feel that having a direct impact on people's lives would be more fulfilling." She turned the barrel of the pen between her fingers and smiled a bit. "Let's say you went through an EMT course and liked it. You might decide to continue onto paramedic. That's a good career. The pay would be better and you'd be more marketable. It's very hands on... Very fast-paced. The hours can be difficult."
She adjusted the angle of her keyboard and tabbed through Connor's file. "Let's see..." She was checking his record for a natural science course such as Biology. If he had a poor grade in that, he might not excel in a medical training program. Off-handedly, she added, "You know, I have cousin in that line of work. He went into it after being in a car accident. He said it inspired him. What made you think of emergency services?" While she waited for his answer, another idea popped into her head. Hurriedly, she grabbed the pen and jotted down the phrase 'Ride Along' on the notepad, afraid she'd lose it if she didn't.
"I have an acquaintance who's a police officer, on the uniformed patrol. She's community-minded, takes the job really seriously. I want to feel like I'm contributing something to society. Without making a big speech about it, I think it's important to try and make a difference, even if it'd just be in a small way."
He wondered if he sounded pompous, then decided probably not. He wanted his efforts to matter, that was all, not to pontificate. "What kind of programs are on offer?"
Tipping her head, Shannon said, "Well, there's EMT-basic and EMT-intermediate. Those aren't always covered by federal aid, though, so you'll need to speak to your financial aid officer if you're counting on that." She clicked the mouse and typed in a URL. The school's webpage came into view. "The Emergency Services program carries the option of paramedic certification in it." She printed the page. An inkjet jumped to life on the far corner of her desk.
"But don't put the cart before the horse," she said. Shannon took a break from talking to retrieve the print-out. She looked it over, then passed it across the desk. "All you've told me is that you want to contribute to society and help people." Her palms spread before him. "There are tons of ways to help that don't involve ambulances. I encourage you to take the rest of this semester to really think about what satisfies you in a job... in your hobbies... in your personal life." Picking up the pen, she wrote a bit more on the yellow notepad.
"Most rescue squads allow ride-alongs. It's where you shadow an ambulance crew for a shift. Seeing what they do up close and personal might help you decide if you can deal with body fluids, needles, pain, even the loss of a patient." The paper tore away noisily. She passed it to him. "The choice is yours, but here's what I'd suggest. I'd like to change your major to 'undecided' today. You try a ride-along and find out about your financial aid. Then come back and we'll declare your new major when you're sure."
Connor looked at the paper he'd been handed, then folded it into a square before tucking it into his shirt pocket. "I can give the financial aid folks a call later this week," he told Shannon. "If they can be half as helpful as you've been, I'm sure I can work something out."
He would have to do some thinking in the next few days, examine his life and see where he thought he was going, but this was a good first step. He might talk it over with Rhiannon over supper that night, get her opinion. The Destroyer picked up his backpack, set it on his lap. "Thank you for taking time to explain my options to me, you've been really great."
"Thanks for coming in and talking," Shannon said. She accessed a drop-down menu on his electronic file and removed Connor's old major. "I think you'll like doing the ride-along. It's always a good idea to get some practical experience before you make up your mind." She saved the changes and closed the file. She eyed the backpack on his lap. "Is there anything else I can help with? Everything going okay outside of class?"
"Yeah, everything's going pretty well. My girlfriend and I celebrated New Year's with some friends, and everything's running smooth."
It still felt like he was threatening to jinx it by putting it into words, but as Rhiannon had said, something was always going to happen. What mattered was how they handled it. His left shoe made a squeaking sound on the floor as he rose from the chair, offering his hand to Shannon across the desk. "Thanks again for your time."
Shannon stood and shook it. "That's why I'm here. I'll see you soon."