I lay awake in my bed, Moonlight's tiny weight against my chest as her tail tickles my stomach. My hand is stroking over her back, and there's something painful about the whole thing, because it's marked by a heavy silence. Kaneda hasn't come home. The door hasn't opened, and there have been no attempts at walking silently past my bedroom door. For the first time since I can remember, I'm here, alone but for Moonlight, and the thought suffocates me. It isn't hard to think of where he may be, or what he's doing. Who he's doing, by the sounds of his voice on the phone. I want to hate him for that, but I just can't bring myself to. He doesn't want me. Perhaps he never did.
Moonlight rises, tiny paws suddenly hurting as she pads up past my chest to curl into the pillow at my shoulder and neck. Her soft fur brushes my cheek, and I close my eyes, pretend it's his hair. It's not fair, that the thought of such things should cause my cock to swell as it does, and my hips move just a little, rubbing it against the top sheet. It's a teasing touch, friction with no weight behind it to intensify the feelings. Just that teasing that leaves me aching for more. I try to imagine Kazuki instead, with his ready smile and energetic body, and that mental image comes all too easily. My hand slides down, cupping my arousal finally and giving a long pull as I pretend it's his hand. But before I can continue much further, I throw the sheet off, twisting to the side and burying my nose in Moonlight's fur. I'm sick of the pretense, sick of wanting what I can't have. My eyes shut, body curling a bit as I close the world out, seeking the peace in dreams that I cannot have awake.
They're there, in front of me, limbs tangled together and bodies deliciously close, both of them clothed but with a knowing smile that says freedom is just a few buttonholes away. I want to call out to them, but I can't. And they don't notice me standing there. They're too busy with each other, rubbing and touching and kissing with passion. For a moment, I hate Kazuki so much, he who got to taste the lips denied to me. But that passes, because I'm beginning to realize I love them both. There's no need to choose between them when I desperately desire both. And they're wrapped around each other, oblivious to the world and quietly seductive.
Kazuki's lips trail down Kaneda's neck, drawing out a low groan of need from the man, and it takes me a moment to realize there's more to it than that - that Kazuki's hands have stolen down to tease open Kaneda's fly, massaging the aching length within. That draws me a step forward, then another, and I fall to my knees before the man, staring at the now-bare cock and wishing I dared to move forward. I want the pleasure of his touch, but at that moment, there is a poignant, undeniable need to give the pleasure, to touch instead of be touched. A hand buries in my hair, and I glance up, catching sight of Kazuki still nibbling at Kaneda's neck. But the silent suggestion is clear.
I lean forward, taking his tip in my mouth. My tongue rolls around it, tasting the bitter salt of his fluids as he lets out a ragged moan. That's my doing, that sound he made, and the thought spurs me on, encourages me to try again, one hand coming up to stroke along the rest of it, for I know that I cannot manage much more. That hand that guided me now pets my hair, stroking through the locks and giving me the small spark I need to continue, losing myself in the thick heat of him in my mouth, and the sound of those low growls. He's not loud, but he doesn't have to be for me to hear the desire, the need slowly becoming desperate in him.
The hand in my hair pulls away for a moment and I lift my free hand, wanting to catch the wrist and stop it because I like the warmth it offers. But instead, it's my wrist that catches, my hand placed on a second cock, and I suddenly understand. I'm to be with them both, to make them both feel good in a way they never have. I hum agreement, which invokes a sharp curse from Kaneda, and my hand begins to tug at Kazuki's arousal. I have no hands free to satisfy myself, but somehow, I don't need them, because I feel so damned good already, just tending to my two lovers. I wait, wondering which will be first, and discover, with no surprise, that it's Kaneda, whose hands come down to hold my head still as he empties himself into me. But there's no time to dwell on the feel or taste, because Kazuki's hand has come back, wrapping around mine and stroking hard and fast on his own cock, his voice gasping a little. I pull my head free, turning just in time for him to cover my face with warm fluid, and hear a breathlessly soft, pleased laugh from his lips. Smiling, I draw back finally, my hands dropping to my own cock and tugging in sharp, hard pulls, because I can no longer go slowly.
When I wake, it's just in time to feel my climax pulsing over my hands, shooting onto my stomach and chest. I'm gasping for air, whimpering faintly as I realize that the delicious result to my misery... was simply a dream.