I don't have to answer the voices in my head

Notes: Oh dear. Yeah, I wrote Snarry, but the twist is that this is house elf crack meta. I know, I know. Bad Loki. Stale cookies. ;)


( Dobby screamed in mortal terror... )

Title: Vegas Vacation
Words: 100
Warnings: Implied animal sex.
Notes: Very random inspiration, I was watching CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, the episode with the furries' convention. Started giggling about the idea of Severus Snape being there.



Severus surveyed the conventioneers disdainfully. "Likenesses of humanised animals?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "We don't have to participate, and –"

Severus shoved a blue anthropomorphised fox in a sequined pink bikini away from himself, and snapped, "Neither of us yiff, thank you very much!"

The blue fox tottered away on huge glittery red high-heeled shoes, and Harry was sure those feet couldn't belong to a woman.

"We can get another hotel." Harry frowned. "Wait, what's yiff?"

"Nothing."

Harry seized Severus' sleeve. "Tell me."

Scowling, Severus whispered in Harry's ear.

Harry blushed, then grinned. "So, just like us, but not Animagi."

For LJ-er iulia_linnea, who egged me on when I got the idea, and encouraged me further when I almost stalled out on it.

( Painless | PG-13 | 2072 words | Lily/Severus, mentions Lily/James, Regulus Black )

Word Count: 431
Rating: PG-13
Notes: I blame the song Still Waters, by Reverend Jim White. Seriously. That is one gorgeously weird song.


( Voldemort dies, and half of the Wizarding world disappears. )

Also Posted: Perposterice Entry

WARNING: Dark. Refers obliquely to torture; destruction of a mind.
( #45 – Malice of forethought – 150 words – Trio Gen, PG-13 )

-----------

WARNING: Bodily functions, non-explicit.
( #36 – It doesn't pass mustard – 225 words – Draco/Luna, PG )

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WARNING: Fluff.
( #31 – To have an idea down packed – 300 words – Harry/Severus, PG )

Title: What You Deserve, for 1sentence @ LJ
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Severus Snape x George Weasley
Theme set: Epsilon
Rating: PG-13. I suck at smut, OK?


( What You Deserve )

Title: Dribble
Word Count: 400
Prompt: A 400-word dribble pertaining to the relationship of Harry and Draco.
Notes: Get Ron drunk and interview him, see what happens?


( They know you're doing this, eh? )

( Stubborn Git )


( Sway )


( Dave's Not Here, Man )


( Bloody Hell )

Title: Bugger This
Author: soberloki
Word Count: 425
Notes: Um, crack. Yeah.


One morning, Harry Potter sat for breakfast at the Slytherin table. Millicent, Pansy, Theodore, Blaise, and Crabbe gaped at the interloper as he settled next to Draco Malfoy. Goyle was already involved in his scrambled eggs, and couldn't be bothered.

( What are you doing, Potter? )

TITLE: 20 Random Facts About Peter Pettigrew
AUTHOR: soberloki, duh.
DISCLAIMER: Not mine! Never was or will be.
NOTES: Because I can? I felt a weird sympathy for the little rat bastard. And yeah, I can't resist a meme. Especially in my favorite fandom.


( 20 Things )

Title: Something Good
Players: Harry/Draco, OFC
Word Count: 560-ish
Notes: After the War ends, someone stumbles upon something good.


( The world is a strange, strange place. )

Rating: PG
Summary: Be careful what you wish for.
Disclaimer: Not my characters, locations, or attitudes. Dang.

( Reversals )

CATEGORY: AU, Gen
PAIRING: Mentions of Harry/Lavender, Harry/Susan Bones, Draco/girls, OFC/Half-a-bee
SUMMARY: Someone bites off more than she can chew. Harry to the rescue? Seventh year.
WORD COUNT: 1,760-ish
WARNINGS: No resolution. Is only a scene, not a story.
NOTES: X-posted to my journal. And this OFC should exist, damn it.


( The Best Laid Plans of Nobody At All )