1. What brings May flowers? Stupid kids blowing those puff ball things because some adult idiot who had no lawn once told them to make a wish...oh, wait, that's weeds. My bad.
2. What are Clubber Lang's feelings toward Rocky Balboa? He pities the fool!
3. What's the refrain from Harry Belafonte's "Tallyman" song? Hey, Mr. Tallyman, tally me banana, daylight come and me wanna go home, which I sing (or at least hum) pretty much every weekday afternoon about 4pm...until 6 when I actually leave. Of course it doesn't go over quite as well in the office coming from the WASPiest girl you could meet.
4. What day is today? Um, LJDQ day, of course! Oh, you mean that other thing that inspired my co-worker to start this not-a-morning-person's day with pranks like covering my mouse's eye with a post-it?
5. Go on, tell us a joke. In anticipation of actually going to Limerick (Ireland) next month:
There once was a singer named Harry Who t'ward Bush was rather contrary He dissed Condy & Colin As Bush slaves who had fallen I much prefer his daughter Shari.
PCH* says I’m a guaranteed winner! I just have to send them a ten’er. I sent them my dough I didn’t win though And now I can’t buy my dinner!
*Publisher’s Clearing House for non-US members
There once was a girl from California Who knitted warm scarves to adorn ya. She used no acrylic Which isn’t idyllic In nightmares about when they’ve shorn ya.
There once was a woman named Leith, Who had the most crooked teeth. She went to a dentist, Who only apprenticed - Gave her dentures on top not beneath.
6. And what's up with that Tweak guy here on InsaneJournal anyway? I like the goat dude better. Thoughts? Tweak? Isn't he the gay Teletubby?