Entry tags:

30stm: cleopatra verse, 30stm: jared leto, 30stm: tim kelleher, 30stm: tim kelleher/oc

FIC: A River In Egypt--Cleopatra Verse. 30stm Tim/OC. Adult 2/8
full header & part one






Ange didn't call. He simply showed up about one in the afternoon. “Aw, shit. Both?” Tim asked quietly by way of greeting.

“Yeah. She never should have been bred this year, fuck probably not at all,” Ange said tightly, anger glittering harshly in normally gentle brown eyes.

Ange obviously hadn't been to bed and pretty much looked like shit.

“Shower, nap. Chinese and beer when we get up,” Tim said tugging Ange into the apartment. “What time do we need up to go feed your zoo?”

“Five?”

“Okay.”

He led Ange to the bathroom and undressed them both, getting them into the shower and not letting Ange get ridiculous again about being a little heavier and not as good of shape as he had been the last time the two of them were together as lovers. Even if it was mostly relearning, they'd both changed plenty, comfortable was the only way to describe them together.

“Your hair looks even more ridiculous wet,” Ange mumbled as Tim pushed wet hair back from his face.


“Mmmhmm, furball,” Tim teased pressing against Ange. He hadn't had the beard at twenty, or so much hair on his chest. It was practically a damn pelt.

“Not waxing my chest for you,” Ange nipped at Tim's bottom lip.

“Don' want ya to,” Tim husked. “Feels nice. Let me get your hair, you need to lay down before you fall down, and if you fall you're staying where you land til you move yourself because I sure as hell can't move you.” Upset at losing both mother and calf and exhaustion from up all night trying to save at least the mother were closing in fast, crushing down the anger at what seemed to be the unnecessary loss of the mother at least. He could feel it in the shift in Ange's posture, in the weariness in the big shoulders and arms heavy around him.

*

The faint annoying buzz barely registered but the shoulder his head was laying on jolted wildly, then moved half rolling them and the buzzing stopped as they settled back where they had been well noticed. A rumble of words he thought might be “Fuck that's loud” under his ear as he burrowed a little closer.

“Mrrrrr,” he shifted pressing a little closer his cock sliding against bare skin of a heavily muscled thigh. Big, broad hand slid down his side and stopped to rest on the curve of his bare ass. He wriggled a little closer, stretching and rubbing against Ange. His hand slid up Ange's chest and he stretched a little more, nuzzling and kissing at Ange's neck, feeling the tension and panic-thud of Ange's heartbeat under his hand. “Nightmare, Ange?”

“Your fucking alarm about gave me a heart attack,” Ange's voice sounded just a bit higher than normal and incredulous.

Mmmm. Nothing bad then. God he loved waking up to Ange. Big and warm and...the swat that landed on his ass was hilariously light. Tim mewled almost disappointed. He knew damn well that wasn't a kink Ange was likely to have picked up in the years since they were last lovers. Not his gentle, always so careful Ange.

Ange's chest began to shake and a rumble of laughter quietly spilled out. “Does anything wake you up, gatito?”

“Tomo's snoring,” Tim mumbled into Ange's neck, a little rumbly sound of approval escaping at the quiver that ran through Ange. “You okay?” Tim shifted a little closer, half on Ange, another “mrrrr” as the big hand on his ass started moving, closer to petting than rubbing. He shifted his hips just a little, enjoying the friction of rubbing against Ange's skin. Languid heat building under his own skin and pooling lower, half-hard and getting harder with each movement of that hand on his ass.

“Just pissed as hell. Milly was only four. Fucking waste.”

“Sorry, Ange, know how much you love your animals,” Tim murmured pressing against Ange hard for a minute head to toe as the arm around his waist squeezed him tight for a heartbeat or three.

The rumble of laughter built and softly spilled forth again a bit later as Tim relaxed and shifted into Ange's touches, the hands on his back and ass and stretch-rubbed against Ange's body more asleep than awake yet.

“Just like a sleepy kitten, all soft and snuggling, refusing to wake up.”

“Fuck you, novio,” Tim muttered, fingers slipping through the coarse hair on Ange's chest. At least Ange was amused by his own exhaustion. He hadn't slept for shit the night before and Ange was too comfortable, so easy to just lean and fall into that comfortableness.

He found himself carefully rolled and pinned under Ange's broad body a second later. He made a sound of approval that, yeah, he was going to get shit about purring again. He didn't particularly care at the moment. He wriggled just enough to reach and get his hand on the back of Ange's neck and nudge his head down. He writhed his hips up against Ange as much as he could. “Aren't your little friends starving?”

“I doubt they'll have cannibalized each other even if they've gotten loose.”

“Mmm,” Tim murmured and kissed Ange. He could do this for hours, that was a proven fact, they'd done just that, kissed and made out and fucked then kissed and snuggled until they went for round two.

Ange had a fucking oral fixation like no one and worrying about why this was probably a bad idea was easily forgotten with Ange's hands and mouth slowly carefully moving over every inch of him. “Damn it, Ange, fuck me,” Tim demanded with, he had to admit it sounded like a mewl even to his own ears. “Been forever, please,” Tim whined. And it had been ages since he'd been fucked. Even longer than since the last he'd done anything with anyone before Ange. And Ange hadn't topped since they'd been “back together” or whatever the hell this was.

Ange hesitated, kissing, touching, caressing Tim straight into orbit. Finally finally murmuring hands and knees would be easier probably if it had been that long. Tim turned as fast as shaking rubbery limbs would let him.

He was ready to fucking lose his mind as Ange's finger tip teased at his hole. “Not gonna fuckin' break, Ange, now fuck me.” His eyes crossed and breath came in ragged gasps, so fucking slow, tentative, knuckle's length at a time until Tim was mewling, demanding, begging for each tiny bit more.

He was shaking and nearly sobbing when Ange finally started to push in to him. Gentleness, Ange's carefulness drawn out into nearly fucking agony, hypersensitive everywhere and riding the edge of needing to come so long it was fast becoming it's own kind of pain.

The sound that escaped was a sob when Ange fucking stilled and his voice shaky strained and worried “You okay?”

“Fuck me, goddamn you, Angelo, MOVE.” Tim demanded, gasping and half sobbing out the words with a shift of his hips pushing back against Ange. Slow, slow slow, fucking agonizing in the carefulness of it, Ange pulled back, almost more carefully, hesitantly he started to push into Tim again. Tim sobbed and rammed his hips back, rocked just a little forward and rammed back again, Ange tense, still, “Fucking killing me, Ange, move move. Fuck me. Not gonna break now FUCK ME.”

Faster, at least a little, still too slow and not enough force, not for the frenzy of hypersensitivity in every nerve ending of Tim's body even if he was to the point maybe anything more might have killed him, but it was enough to be something. He braced himself on his elbow and forearm,clumsily and nearly landing on his face. His other hand moved to his cock, roughly jerking, chasing the release he could almost taste, he fucking ached with and tried to evade him. When he finally came it was as much pain as pleasure. God. He all but fell flat on his face on the mattress, probably would have if Ange hadn't eased him down and moved to lay at Tim's side.

“The fuck was that, Ange?” Tim whispered brokenly, panting. Jesus..he really wasn't sure if the shaking of the bed was the aftershocks quivering through him or if Ange was trembling that hard-and still hard. He shifted...god the hell was that shit? He pulled the condom off and tossed it carelessly not caring where it went. His hand closed around Ange's cock, forcing muscles to move, to work, in a weak approximation of what he knew Ange liked, or how he'd liked it what seemed forever ago, and had Ange spilling over his hand and side quickly enough.

Ange looked...fuck. Tim never expected to see that look again. Never fucking wanted to either.

Teenage hormones and pure goddamn stubbornness on Tim's part had overcome the near-trauma of fumbling attempts with neither of them having much of a clue of anything other than the most academic basics, they'd learned together. Hell they learned a hell of a lot together, not just sex. Right now though Ange looked a lot like he had immediately after the loss of their virginity, which had gone just wrong enough, and Ange just big enough everywhere that Tim hadn't been walking so well for a couple days. It had taken an eternity and not a few tirades and tantrums to get Ange to stop tearing himself up over that one.

“Ange?” Tim repeated shifting, forcing wrung out muscles to work and managed to drape himself halfway onto Ange's chest. God, if he'd been in the frame of mind or even prepared for that, it would have been fucking mindblowing in a good way. If it hadn't been... “Ange? You okay?”

“Sorry,” Ange mumbled and wrapped his arms around Tim.

“I don't break easy. You know that. Never have,” Tim murmured, words jagged and uneven as his breath.

“I-won't happen again.”

“I'm so calling bullshit when I can breathe,” Tim managed.

“Just-shit Robert said way back.”

Tim never had liked Robert much. He hadn't seen or talked to Ange much during the four years Robert and he had been together. Granted, Ange was in Vet School in Kansas for most of that but a month or more would go by between phone calls then. For a while there it seemed they were drifting so far their friendship might not survive, but then Ange had his degree and Robert was gone not all that long after that.

Ange hadn't liked, well, Ange had never met Mike. Just as well honestly. God. Four months with Mike and his fucked up shit and wife and two little girls. Yeah. Just as well. Ange had despised Max, which Tim never really figured out. Max had been fun, and a kinky bastard. Too much so for Tim really half the time but they'd had fun, and definitely a...horizon broadening experience. Tim was pretty sure Ange had liked Cody. Tim pushed thoughts of Cody away, those still hurt too much. Ange hadn't thought much of Diego, but, well, Tim hadn't thought much of Diego outside of bed-that had been fucking mindblowing though. Ange hadn't been too thrilled with Terry either. Though Diego and Terry didn't really count for much other than a few weeks of killing time and escape from goddamned lonely a bit. Tim had to admit the only non-bad idea he'd had in the dating arena was Cody, right up to and including lying there with the trembling burn of exhaustion in his shoulders, back and thighs and still hypersensitive from head to toe in Ange's arms.

Ange's thumb brushed over Tim's cheek and somehow he seemed to crumble more.

Tim wondered if he maybe had a few tears on his face from that. Hell he wouldn't be surprised, especially with every muscle in his body still quivering, his heart still pounding, blood rushing in his ears, and his breath quick, shallow and almost burning. It felt like his entire body was misfiring and his brain definitely was pretty close to short-circuited. He been pushed, wound up to the point not even coming had backed off wired-frenzy or the hypersensitivity to every touch and breath. It was going to take a while to come down from, hell it was going to take a while to fucking register completely in his melted brain to even think of coming down from the sensation-overload he had in no way been expecting or in the mind-frame to handle.

He kissed Ange softly. One kiss slowly melting into another around panting breaths until Ange relaxed and was holding him almost tight enough to make it hard to breathe and he was beginning to actually believe his skin wasn't just going to fly off his body if it hadn't already, feeling a little less like a massive raw nerve.

“We're....doing that again. When I'm ready for it, got my head set for that kind of fucking intense,” Tim decided. Yeah, once at least when his head was ready for that, able to actually enjoy that because damn even if hadn't really been pleasant this time, too extreme and intense in all the slow careful agonizing gentleness and too unprepared for that. “Gonna make you actually fuck me a few times before that but yeah...try that again sometime.”

“As long as I get a few turns with you in me,” Ange murmured.

“Oh hell yeah,” Tim agreed, and nuzzled at Ange's neck. Enough coherency finally returning to string together the guess he had of 'shit Robert said' into something closer to a thought rather than gut feeling. He knew all too well the quickest ways to draw blood and just fucking shred Ange, and Robert had been with Ange long enough and just enough of a petty fucker in Tim's opinion to go for those spots. “You've never hurt me, Ange, not even accidentally once we figured out what the hell we were doing.”

Ange trembled.

Yeah. Fucking bullseye Tim was pretty sure. Ange had such a fucking neurosis drilled in his head to the point he was nearly phobic about accidentally hurting anyone. Ange's dad had been a wife-beating bastard according to what Ange had been told, though the man was gone never to be seen or heard from by the time Ange was two. Ange's mom pretty much never forgave him for a lot of shit, Ange caught the brunt of it for not only being the only boy but just as big as his father had been. The few times he'd gotten in trouble at school-pretty much every last one could be attributed to Tim's mouthy streak-his mother had gone off the deep end raging forever. Ange, off a football field or not pissed and defending someone, was ridiculously gentle and fucking paranoid about ever hurting anyone. He'd known Ange and Robert's split had been ugly but goddamn over two years later Robert's pissy viciousness causing this shit.

“Yeah you're fucking big. And strong and so gentle and careful. Too rough or not being exactly aware of how strong and big and heavy you are is bullshit. Fucking bullshit.” Tim said mostly against the patch of skin just under Ange's ear.

Ange turned his head, shifted them both just enough, and Tim didn't put up with the apologetic hesitance for long. Kissing Ange had always been good, even when they'd been thirteen or so and bumping noses, and it only got better.

Kissing kept his damn mouth busy and kept him out of trouble because moments like this, almost fucking surrounded by Ange, big hands moving over his back and slow unhurried kisses...so tempting to say something stupid, to suggest something stupider than what this already was and eventually ruin everything. Turn into a bitter nasty blow up that destroyed everything. Or maybe, more likely these days because they weren't kids anymore, Tim would just die a little more, give up music and go back to school and quiet down and be what Ange needed. He loved Ange enough to, if he was honest, probably would have long since if not for Cody. The thing was, Ange had seen him with Cody and knowing that difference, would probably kill Ange a little too, eventually.

Someday, maybe, probably, another five or ten years, and Ange was single they probably would settle for just that and being content enough for life. Ange might be happy with content, Tim really didn't think he could hope for much more than that for himself, but he wasn't going to take the chance for more than that from Ange.

Tim whined as his phone rang out obnoxiously from the nightstand.

“You need to answer that?” Ange asked kissing along Tim's jaw.

“Yeah, it's one of the guys,” Tim sighed.

Tim swallowed at the badly concealed disappointment on Ange's face when he got off the phone with Shannon.

“Your turn to get called away tonight?” Ange asked quietly.

Tim sighed. “They got going on the song that's been driving them,” -Jared- “fricken nuts and we'd planned to be trying to smooth out this weekend.” They had, at least work on fiddling around with some of the new albums stuff, what label it might be on was sure as fuck up in the air but the material was almost, almost ready. A couple songs done, polished and fucking amazing. He did have rent to make, and had been managing more than enough session work and had at least enough of a schedule as okay here, these are the days I have free for the next couple weeks. Which upon seeing that this weekend had been pretty much claimed by the band, Jared. “They've been working on it today and want me now. They got it that much further but need the bass get everything together to really hear it, make sure the reality works as well as the paper.”

Ange had never been jealous of another human being in Tim's life, but Tim's guitars and music were another thing all together. Ange's sense of order and responsibility kind of offended and set on its ear by forgetting time or becoming obsessed with a little snippet of something and playing until five in the morning without even realizing how much time had passed.

“Think they're crazier than you, it's...eight? Most people would be thinking pick it up tomorrow. Rather than...”

“If they got the thing moving now, then now's the time to do it.” Tim shook his head. Ange was never likely to really grasp that kind of fluid creativity, not if he hadn't in all the years Tim had tried to explain it to him. And that had better be it. It had better be. Not Jared having a fucking fit. Shannon had been the one to call, though, so hopefully.

Ange shook his head a little, disappointment sliding away into an indulgent look that was too gentle and loving to quite get pissed at but a little irksome all the same. He kept the 'it's my job' behind his teeth. Ange taking off called in outside his scheduled hours could very well be life or death-for a reindeer or a gazelle or whatever, had been the night before with the moose and her calf, but all the same...haring off late in the evening for a night of trying to pull together a song just didn't make sense to Ange. Probably didn't make sense to most people but he didn't give a fuck about most people, Ange not getting it ached a little, always had.


~*~
don't know & don't want to. was the text that was waiting from Ange when he got out of his car at Jared's. A picture had also been sent. Fred and George-the ferrets-trapped in an overturned plastic laundry basket, noses poking through the gaps in the basket, with all twelve pounds of Copper the ancient orange tomcat stretched on top of the basket and making it's sides look like they were maybe trying to buckle. Opie the cockatiel and Iago the macaw looked to be pacing and patrolling the floor in front of the captured ferrets.

“What's so funny?” Shannon wanted to know as he let Tim in.

“Fred and George got busted,” Tim laughed and showed Shannon the picture. “Fred and George are the ferrets. Copper's the cat. Opie's the cockatiel and Iago's the macaw. They're Ange's. Evidently they'd been up to no good and Copper Opie and Iago penned 'em back up, that's what he found when he got home.”

Tomo was down in the basement room which had long since been turned into a practice room, and sufficiently distracted by the picture on Tim's phone while Tim sat down his bass case and got it out. Hell thankfully Shannon had gone down the stairs ahead of him. A wobbly exhausted burn was well settled in his neck, shoulders, back and legs from being on his hands and knees for a fucking eternity and while the text and picture helped, Ange's indulgent attitude toward Tim coming at Shannon's call still a bit raw... Hell he was just still raw from everything with Ange and really not in the mood to get any shit.

Tomo was at him in a heartbeat showing him what they'd gotten, demanding if Tim was going to be able to manage to play the piece as written. “Tonight, half-assed not really for shit, but yeah, I can play that, gonna have to work at it to get it but, yeah.”

“Beer or coffee?” Shannon asked.

“Coffee. Please. Caffeine IV would be good,” Tim snorted. “You guys remember I'm not going to be around next weekend? Ange's niece is getting married. We're taking off Thursday night. Be back Monday.” He'd told them, and told them he would be out of town, but hadn't given a reason. Jared had only scowled a little and Shannon and Tomo had merely shrugged and left it at that.

“His niece is getting married?”

“He has three older sisters, he was an uncle already when I met him,” Tim shrugged. “What?”

“Ya know, we should kick your butt for being all stupid about saying something-“ Shannon shook his head.

“Well, you could have gotten the hint that unnatural hair color and a bra size with bigger numbers than their IQ wasn't my type no matter what and quit shoving your usual at me,” Tim shot back.

Tomo kind of poked him in the arm. “You really could've said.” Tomo said quiet and kind of serious, or maybe just a little more intense than his usual laid back way of...doing about everything.

“I've...had shit before. Shit get bad and weird enough that I quit. I like this job,” Tim sighed. He did. He fucking loved this job. Loved the music, everything he'd gotten to do so far touring and it looked like headed into the studio with them. A chance at making another album. Tomo and Shannon were great. Jared was too, when he wasn't half driving Tim insane. Well, mostly great. If whatever the fuck could just...go away or get settled or Jared could just fucking drop it...it woud be just about perfect working with these guys.

Shannon sighed. “Yeah...he'll be back anytime, took the dog for a walk...he gets too bad, say something okay?”

Tim shrugged.

“We'll try. We can kick his ass a bit, because if you leave we're fucked and got to find someone else. And we like you,” Shannon said. “And I can kick his ass just because.”

Tim smiled a little. He didn't really expect that, but it was kind of nice. Like he'd told Shannon, he knew damn well if everything got all fucked up he was the one who'd be gone and all but...it was, yeah, at least maybe open hostility could be avoided. He wasn't sure how, but it seemed he just might be lucky enough to not be getting blamed for-hell, whatever Jared's problem was.

Tomo sighed. “When we go back out, you room with me and we'll just leave it at that so Shan can sit on him if he starts getting stupid and you don't get cornered with him going weird on ya.”

Tim slumped in relief. “Yeah. Yeah, that'll be good. He wouldn't get to me if I didn't just plain like all three of you.” That sounded stupid but trying to come up with a way to put it was almost impossible and Shannon and Tomo both nodded, getting what he meant. He did like them, and if Jared wasn't so fucked in the head on the subject, was really stupid enough to have gone with it if Jared had started something.

“Here let's get started,” Tomo said.


*


Five hours later his shoulders were fucking burning and his stomach was less than happy with the fact all it had in it was coffee. The obsessive perfectionism might be most pronounced in Jared because that was pretty much his default on almost everything but Shannon and Tomo were just as damn bad when it came to the music.

“Break,” Shannon declared.

Jared glared.

“Break,” Tomo agreed.

“I suppose you need a break too,” Jared glared at Tim. Absolutely nothing but pissy over taking a break before he was ready to and nothing of anything else. Damn that was a look Tim could really get used to. When things were going like the last five hours and it was nothing but the music and not even the faintest thread of tension between him and Jared, it was worth it. Worth every second of the times Jared had him so wound up his teeth were on edge and he was kind of afraid to breathe.

“I need a smoke, move around a bit and a fuckin' peanut butter sandwich or something. You're feeding me if you think you're getting much more outta me,” Tim yawned and set his bass aside.

He shifted in his chair, stretching and twisting, trying to work a few kinks out of his back. Five hours hunched over his bass hadn't really been appreciated by strained worn out muscles but damn. He couldn't help the slight smile. Whatever the fuck that had been, that ...god he hadn't been in no way prepared for Ange's too careful fucking torture but the text and picture of Fred and George being busted and Ange being Ange, that was okay. Ange knew his own fucked up as well as Tim did and vise versa. Whatever that had been, was dealable, work-out-able and he'd gotten to wake up burrowed into Ange. He'd almost forgotten how nice it was to wake up with someone like that and the music was going. Going damn good.

“What the hell happened to you?”

Tim stretched again and twisted just enough to look toward Jared. “Huh?”

“You have a fucking bruise,” Jared reached and poked the back of Tim's neck where neck met shoulder. The spot uncovered by Tim rubbing at his shoulder and stretching the neck of his shirt out of the way a bit.

Shannon slapped his hand over his eyes and shook his head. Tomo, damn him, choked and looked like he was fighting a snicker. He had all he could do not to roll his eyes or throw something those at two dickheads for being so amused. Considering that's where Ange's mouth had ended up more than not when he was nearly driving Tim insane and killing him...yeah. He might not have realized there was a mark there but what it was was probably pretty fucking obvious.

“If you're going to start howling about hickeys, get on your brother first. He looks like he got attacked by a vampire. If Ange leaves marks it's accidental and not much of one so don't even start. Not like there's shows or any appearances to worry about right now, none of your business,” Tim said tightly and pointed at the edge of a dark bruise peeking just above the collar of Shannon's t-shirt.

Jared kind of just...fucking gaped.

“Draw him pictures, Shan, we're going to have a smoke,” Tomo shook his head and put aside his own guitar and grabbed Tim by the arm helping him up.

Tim stifled the groan as knotted up muscles protested movement and let Tomo pretty much steer him upstairs and out to the back yard.

“Oh what?” Tim stiffened up defensively at Tomo's grin.

“Think I would've told us to fuck off if I were you,” Tomo teased.

Tim glared. He did not need this shit. He really did not need this shit at all. Why the hell had he thought that maybe things would actually just work out and...

“Hey,” Tomo said softly and looked a little concerned. “You could have said something. God knows they've gotten it from me more than once when they come up with something right fucking now and I'd rather be home still in bed.”

Tim sighed and pulled his cigarettes from his hoodie's pocket. “Sorry. Just...goddamn look on his face...” Just total fucking idiotic gaping.

“Yeah I've wanted to deck him a couple times myself when I've come over moving a little careful. He was stupid enough to comment and get why tossed at him once,” Tomo snorted. “A creative girlfriend not afraid to play with toys occasionally gets the same look and reaction. Be glad he was off walking the damn dog when you got here. You looked wrung out and straight out of bed.”

Tim stared for half a second and then shook his head with a smile.

“Ha! You were, weren't you?”

Tim rolled his eyes. “You're insane.”

Tomo grinned, then tilted his head a little, lighting his own cigarette and getting a little more serious. “So weekend with the in-laws, huh? That's never fun.”

Tim shrugged. “They're not bad. I've known them pretty much as long as I've known Ange. And hell, I don't know-don't know if Ange is taking me as his boyfriend or just bringing good old Tim along for the hell of it, ya know?” He wasn't going to attempt to explain he'd be invited and going no matter what, Ange's family was his family and had been for years. That would lead to too much digging at too much shit best for Tim's sanity to be left buried, mostly because Jared was Jared and would dig because he was Jared.

“That's fucked up.”

“They've never known any other time we were together. Hell, his mother and mine sure as wouldn't have been as good about sleepovers and if he wasn't at football practice or the girl he dated junior and senior years, and I wasn't doing something with one band or another I played with we were attached at the hip. He lived with Robert for four years, I really don't think his mother ever got it through her head that Ange and Robert were together. Not until they split up and Ange was so fucking wrecked.”

Luisa couldn't quite be faulted for thinking Robert was just Ange's roommate. Robert had only come back with Ange once in those four years and was just...Robert. She'd honestly half thought Ange was making it up he and Robert were together so she wouldn't worry so much about him.

Tomo's eyebrow shot straight up with a low whistle. “Way to channel a jealous homicidal psychopath. Take it you didn't like Robert...”

“When shit Robert pulled to fuck with Ange's head over two years ago ends up in bed with us? Yeah fuckin' say I got reason. Reason enough that he fucked up Ange that bad even if we weren't...whatever the hell we're doing now,” Tim muttered darkly.

*

“Vicky's picking me up. You want a ride, Tim?” Tomo announced wandering back out to the patio with a yawn and rubbing at bleary eyes.

“Yeah-if she doesn't mind. I can get my car tonight somehow,” Tim yawned and stretched a little, turning a baleful glare skyward as the sun dared peek out of the early morning haze.

“You can crash here,” Jared pretty much ordered, hovering and there went his fucking hand again.

“Nah, that's okay,” Tim shook his head. He was fucking driving himself home if Vicky didn't want put out. He didn't care if he fell asleep and wrapped himself around a phone pole or something. Jared was all but standing on top of him at the moment and kept fucking petting the small of his back, rubbing careful little circles and trying to-fucking hover like some possessive and deranged mother hen. “Rather go home if Vicky doesn't mind going out of the way.”

Jared glared. “You can crash here. You don't look well.”

“Ya know what. Fuck you. I'm going.”

“No you're not.”

“I. Got. Laid. Jared. Get. Over. It.” Tim snarled and took a step away from Jared. “And quit fucking petting me.”

“You look like hell!”

“Yeah, and you three look so fuckin' hot at the moment after all night in your basement trying to get the song worked out.”

“None of us are moving like we've been beaten or fucking worse!” Jared snarled, eyes wild and...there the tremble in his fingers as he took a drag of the cigarette he'd stolen from Tim, and kind of just gray-ashen-sick looking. So ashen and sick that it actually burned through the instant fury that Jared would even imply Ange would...

“No,” Tim shook his head murmuring more to himself than anything. He was not going to do this. Not putting up with this shit, not like this.

“NO?!” Jared screeched.

“You-don't get that. You don't get Ange. You don't get to go there, and if you ever ever imply that he could possibly do anything to hurt me...don't do this. Don't.”

“It is my fucking business if it effects the band!”

“HOW! HOW DID THE FACT I GOT LAID EFFECT THE BAND? HUH? HUH JARED? HOW?” Tim snarled. “BULLSHIT. Shannon called. I got out of bed, quick showered, kissed Ange goodbye and got my ass over here. My ass might be dragging and have a few strained muscles from a goddamned marathon session of sex but that didn't make a damn difference to how I played and we got that fucking song nailed. So. HOW? HUH? HOW, JARED?”

Jared glared, looking positively insane. “You-fuckin' told him the Cleo shit.”

Tim swallowed. The crazed look in Jared's eyes, the ashen cast to his skin and the way he was trembling. Little give aways, little flickers and twitches and something about how it all added up and settled in the pit of his stomach like lead, cold and heavy and nearly making him weave on his feet or puke as he fought away the suspicions of what really could have fucked Jared up this badly.

“I told the guy who has been my best friend since I was fucking TWELVE about this really intelligent, amazing, fucking gorgeous guy who I was really into, who'd managed to get pretty fucking far under my skin even if I really tried not to let him because yeah, fucking spectacularly bad idea, but if he'd been interested in the same way, I'd've probably said fuck it and went with that bad idea in a heart beat. I told that-about me more than you-to Ange.”

Tim reached and knocked the cigarette in Jared's hand to the ground before he burnt his fingers on the butt that was down to burning filter. “Ange was my first kiss, first everything. He's the one that's always been there. When my dad lost his shit over me being gay, when-” he swallowed his voice cracking just a little. “When Cody died and his family threatened to have me arrested if I tried to show up at the funeral. Ange has always been there. For everything.”

He cautiously squeezed Jared's hand his voice gentle as he could make it because Jared was so dangerously still Tim thought he was going to shatter or going to maybe try to kill him. “You're not getting those details. You don't. Especially not about Ange. Jared...c'mon. Tomo for however much an ass he can be really doesn't give any details about Vicky now does he? Bemoaning how stupid I was to my best friend and giving details of my sex life with Ange to my boss to settle him down because he's getting weird I have a sex life are two different things.”

“Your friend too,” Jared said in a very small voice.

“Yeah, yeah, you are, still...” Tim swallowed and shook his head.

“Sorry for giving a fuck about you,” Jared snapped and stormed into the house.

Tim groaned dropped the burning filter of his cigarette to the patio stepped it out and lit another. It was a good five drags later that he noticed Shannon and Tomo staring.

Shannon sighed and reached for the pack of cigarettes in Tomo's pocket. “He deserved that. Probably not that nicely either.”

Tim shrugged. “It's obvious enough he's not really meaning to be an asshole.”

“You did look upset,” Shannon said just a little to blandly for Tim to completely trust, he was Jared's brother after all.

Tim shrugged again. “There's reasons why Ange and I are a bad idea, and reasons why we've never seriously tried to make a go of it in the past. None of that's changed, just old enough to be more patient about them and plenty of baggage on top of that. That's why letting this happen is about as stupid as letting Jared get under my skin as far as he has.”

“You love him?”

“Fuck yes, I have since I was twelve,” Tim answered without a bit of hesitation. Shannon kind of tilted his head and his eyebrow didn't quite move. Tim wasn't going there. He wasn't. Just no way in hell. Not even he was that stupid. Jared had managed to get too far under his skin to even begin to poke at just how far under his skin he was. “What? Tomo's never been upset about something with Vicky?”

“Tomo's been with Vicky a lot longer than a few weeks,” Shannon shrugged.

“Yeah, but so have Ange and I whichever way and I'd've been just as upset even if we weren't together,” Tim sighed. He would have. He probably wouldn't have ever gotten that particular little bit of fucked up if they weren't together, but he would have been just as upset by Ange getting that screwed up and hurt.

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