Entry tags:

30 seconds to mars, buffy the vampire slayer, hellfire tales, hellfire: matt/xander/jared, my chemical romance, original characters

Hellfire Tales: Away With The Boys In The Band 1/15 (?)
title: Away With The Boys In The Band
author: lisa roquin
rating: adult
fandom: 30stm/BtVS/MCR
series/sequel: Hellfire Tales
characters/pairings: Matt Cortez/Xander Harris, Matt Cortez/Jared Leto, Matt Cortez/Xander Harris/Jared Leto. MCR/Wives, Brian & Worm, 30 Seconds to Mars, The Dingoes Ate My Baby, Mike & Oksana Harris, Vlad Batran (of House Draculesti), Jake Coyote, Clay Grundy
disclaimer: all copyrighted characters and their "universes" belong to their respective authors, writers, creators, production companies, producers and long lists of people that are so very much not me. Quite simply, if you recognize it, it isn't mine. No profit made, no harm intended, just having fun.
summary: Riot Tour, all of Riot Squads bands and then some out on summer long festival tour which has Brian eating tums like candy with the investment he has in this before the tour gets invaded by weirdness right and left with Matt, Xander and Jared at the center of it.

warning: whoa boy. angst. crack. ~facepalm you gotta be kidding me you actually went there~ for a couple characters. original characters. questionable consent issues due to the curse on Matt & Xander, more angst, curses, violence, mild gore, implied/referenced abusive childhood situations (Xander, Mike, Oksana), pregnancy hormones, insanity both of the these guys are batshit and the needing medication/hospilization kind, seriously classify this as "Dark/SemiDark Batshit Angsty Crack" Past Redeemable Willow. Dusted Angelus.

author's note: canon? uh...for Buffy & Angel the TVseries uhm mostly. Perhaps minor deviations to make something work but for the most part Buffy S1-S7 is adhered to Angel? On the canon major points referenced yeah. The Buffy & Angel Comics? No. Other than Dracula got ahold of Xander at some point again.
author's note 2: Vlad Batran (Vlad cel Batran, Vlad the Elder) is not a historical figure but a complete fictional construct stuck in to serve as BtVS verse's Dracula. (the canon explaining of Dracula showing up in Sunnydale thrown out the window, sorta)
author's note 3: For Riddick who won this for Sweet Charity, it is late, it is starting being posted as a WIP. Very Late between life and the prequels it demanded and has spawned a vast verse full of everything imaginable and more.
thanks to jiltanith, gwionfawyr, saddle_tramp, wolfenverde & killing_rose for listening to me beat my head on the desk trying to untangle the insanity and catching typos, goofs and when I really needed to be sleeping instead of writing (hopefully I'm catching the corrections and not making more goofs in correcting)







Matt fought down the antsy feeling as he headed toward the chaos of the buses loading up. Two buses for the band this time. Alicia, Lyn and the babies on one bus with Gerard and Mikey. The second bus had Bob, Ray, Frank, James out with them again to play keyboards, himself and Brian who was likely going to be working from the buses most of the tour with every last Riot Squad band out on it.

He really was only there because they were all after him, that they had barely heard boo out of him since he'd taken off for the five week bar tour with Landmine, Fallen Saints and the Dingoes two and a half months before.

“That's all you got?” was Frank's greeting eyes skeptical on Matt's backpack.

“Yeah. Gonna be riding with Xander,” Matt nodded.

“WHAT!” Brian bellowed.

“You heard me,” Matt shot back.

“With who?”

“Xander. He's a friend of the Dingoes.”

Frank grabbed his arm and was eyeing the tattoo from the—ruby. “When did you get this?”

“Couple months ago.”

“You look like shit,” Bob accused.

Frank nodded. “Complete shit.”

“The one eyed guy?” Brian scowled.

“Yeah, Brian. The one eyed guy,” Matt said tightly, even he could hear the growl in his own voice, and tamped down the flashfire urge of wanting to knock a couple of Brian's teeth loose for saying that.

Brian took a half step back and held his hands up in surrender. “Jesus. What the fuck is with you, Cortez?”

Matt shook his head. “Don't plan on me for anything after this.”

“WHAT?” was bellowed in stereo.

“You're riding with Xander?” Brian scowled. “So what—you're going to work for the Dingoes?”

Matt shook his head. “Just with Xander.”

Brian's scowl darkened.

“Serious?”

“Mike and Oksana'll kick my ass. They've already told me that. Rose is going to drive us nuts with names. Then there's Vlad who...seems to be amused more than anything.”

“HUH?” and “THE FUCK?” rang out from just about every direction.

“Mike's mostly grown,” Matt shrugged. Mike still hadn't given an answer more than 'old enough' The identity Andrew had created and hacked into how many data bases to make a paper trail and at least something appearing legal. Matt believed Wes when he said it should stand up to even the most thorough scrutiny. Andrew had made up a birthday and age which put Mike at sixteen. Mike didn't argue with that, which left Xander and Matt both wondering just how old 'old enough actually was, all five foot nothing and eighty-five pounds of Mike was...old though in ways no kid should be. “Sixteen. Oksana's nine, she doesn't speak a whole lot of English but she's getting better.”

Oksana's history was as rewritten as Mike's, though the orphanage she was pulled out of was really unlikely going to protest. Hell, Matt kinda got the impression that her documentation had been sketchy to begin with. Her new history made her Xander's daughter and her mother an exchange student at Sunnydale High. No one was going to ever be able to say differently. All records of Sunnydale High went with the town of Sunnydale itself. There was no one looking for a little girl who disappeared out of an Eastern European orphanage over a year before. Both Mike and Oksana both now bore the last name of Harris. Mike wasn't coughing up anything but Mike and neither Xander nor Matt could begin to pronounce Oksana's.

Vlad had shown up on the bar tour, and to Matt's endless aggravation stayed. Matt resigned himself to being stuck with that particular vampire because of the screwed up blood addiction thing. Still he had to trust his own instincts, Vlad wasn't a threat to Xander, even with the screwed up history of thralling and, yeah, the blood addiction. Reconciling his instincts with that history didn't really work, but he trusted his instincts.

Vlad had been the one that had gone ballistic when he saw Oksana from a distance after following them back to Hellfire and demanded Xander take custody and control of Oksana's training. Whoever was in charge of the girls in Cleveland didn't seem to have a problem with one less little girl, especially one who seemed to be a complete trouble magnet and spoke next to nothing for English when Apocalypse Season was in full swing and according to the portents looked like no less than seven bids to open the Cleveland Hellmouth this coming summer. It wasn't lack of caring on the part of the Cleveland people, more lack of enough people to do the caring while keeping hell from getting loose on earth.

Whatever Oksana's whole story was, and even how much of it she remembered before she ended up in the orphanage, then Cleveland, and finally with them now was really up in the air but the little girl had nightmares that didn't stop. Mike's weren't much better. Or Xander's or his own for that matter. His own kept getting worse.

“Mike and Oksana are going to be along,” Matt offered. “And Vlad.” he added irritably. Not exactly evil vampires were the most annoying damned people-like things on the planet. Spike and Vlad proved that point completely. Matt really didn't like the thought of putting up with Vlad for an entire tour, but Tara's glare and Faith's threats over leaving both vampires in Hellfire while they were gone—yeah they were stuck with Vlad.

On the plus side, Vlad was less actively annoying than Spike. Vlad was annoying, but protective of Xander. That negated some of the annoying. Spike went out of his way to be obnoxious when he was bored, which seemed to be most of the time. Besides, watching Spike eat blood drenched cocoa pebbles once was enough for several lifetimes.

Matt nearly laughed as he realized what he was thinking. He'd been right that Hellfire was a trip right down the rabbit hole, straight into a completely batshit horror comic.

“Vlad?” Brian frowned.

“Oksana's uncle. He wasn't in Hellfire when you were there.”

“Oksana is?” Ray asked.

“Xander's girl.”

The trip home to Jersey had been...interesting. He'd always been something of the family oddball but showing up to pack up his apartment and he was moving to Nevada with his one eyed boyfriend, a belligerant supposed sixteen year old with more scars than Xander, and a nine year old that jumped at shadows who barely spoke English. If Xander hadn't charmed his mom so much he'd probably be forcibly committed to some sort of rehab in a psychiatric hospital right now.

A shout about where something went at least distracted the guys momentarily. He knew it wasn't going to last.

It lasted as long as it took to get on the road and he was stuck on a bus with Ray, Bob, Frank and Brian. James was mostly just shaking his head, but gamely manned the phones—his own and Frank's, with Mikey on the other end of one and Gerard on the other.

“You can't quit.”

“I—at least am off the road for a while after this tour is over,” Matt said stubbornly. He figured arguing this with the guys was practice for arguing with Xander. The six of them combined might almost be a warm up for arguing with Xan.

Xander didn't know about this decision yet. He really didn't know what other real decision there was. Not with Mike and Oksana, or Rose and the baby with the ever changing name that wouldn't even be born for six and a half months. The last Rose had come up with before he'd left for LA was Dulcinea Agatha. Xander suggested Agatha Dulcinea and then they could call her Adie, which wasn't bad Matt supposed, at least as good as you could get from that combination. Better than quite a lot of the names Rose came up with.

Faith had been a smart ass and snarkily suggested Tequila because the kid was definitely going to drive Xander and Matt to drink before she was grown. Rose actually considered that for three days. The insane obsessing over a name made the baby slightly more a reality than anything else, mostly out of fear of what the kid was going to end up stuck with for a name. He still wasn't able to wrap his mind around that one.

Mike and Oksana were dealable. The hellhole they found Mike in on the bar tour? Oh hell no they weren't leaving that kid there so what else was there to do but keep the kid who had no where to go. Mike was also more or less grown, bit of teenage snot attitude starting to creep in, but still mostly grown. Oksana was half grown and a Slayer besides. A baby? That was just too fucking surreal for words.

“What the fuck? You're all—weird and—” Frank scowled.

Matt shook his head with a glare. He thought he'd been doing pretty damn good, at least after the second time Wes explained the whole of what they'd figured out was all spelled or cursed or hexed or whatever onto that damned ruby.

He was supposed to be violently, psychotically possessive of Xander. The possessive streak was there. Fuck yes it was there, but Xander made it easy. Made it too damned easy. He'd gotten the gist of the permanent and basically fucked at least from the get go and...just made it easy. He stayed close, practically hovered and honestly acted about as protective of Matt as he did of Tara, Mike and now Oksana since Vlad went ape and decided Oksana had to be in Xander's custody.

Xander was...his damn it. Yeah, possessiveness of the damned curse was definitely strong to put it mildly but he trusted Xander. Didn't particularly trust anyone else but he trusted Xander. Xander's patience and protectiveness of Matt, Matt mostly wanted to protect Xander from the world, from himself and from Matt. Even Xander travelling to the opening show in Salt Lake with the kids and Vlad didn't bother him, other than the part Xander wasn't with him right now.

Vlad—and no he wasn't quite brave enough to ask about a vampire named Vlad, he was afraid of the answer—Vlad was kind of obsessed with Xander and the whole weird blood addiction that Vlad, Xander, Spike, and Wes all claimed shouldn't work that way at all was tolerable somehow. Spike's theory Vlad and Xander both freaks of nature probably did kind of explain the blood thing, even if Matt tried punching Spike in the nose for saying it. Vlad was more than a little obsessed with Xander but hadn't made one move that Matt was upset by. If anything the vampire thought Xander was well off with Matt. That was disturbing. Even more disturbing, the rest of Hellfire's residents seemed to think so too.

“You're fucking growling,” Bob stared.

“I'm fucking sick of shit about Xander,” Matt snarled. “We were in Jersey last week, getting my place packed up and my family...” he cut himself off and shook his head. “Xan charmed mom, and there's the baby so she knocked Dave upside the head but it was a long week,” His brother in law had really been a dipshit. Xander wouldn't let him kill Dave though. His mom and sister probably would have had a few things to say about that too.

“BABY!”

“Yeah,” Matt winced.

“Okay what the FUCK?” Ray demanded.

Matt rolled his eyes. “One of those wake up, what the fuck did I do last night type scenarios with a guess what? Follow up,” Matt snarked. That worked. Close enough. It wasn't like the guys were ever going to meet Rose, and the baby really wasn't leaving Hellfire for years. No way in hell. Not unless they were certain on the lack of prophecies. Just because Xander had a knack for subverting prophecies right and left didn't mean they were going to risk the baby until they knew what the hell they were dealing with, and quite likely not even then.

“You—you're going to have a kid?” Brian stared.

“Yeah.”

“You?”

“Yeah, me, Frank,” Matt glared.

James was getting an earful from both Ways by the look on his face.

“So—”

“So Rose is...not going to be able to take care of the baby most likely,” Especially if she went back to being a “normal” ghost who could occasionally manifest solid for short periods after the kid was born which was most likely. She really wasn't...resurrected exactly. They were going on the assumption once the baby was born she'd be back to normal at least, and until proven otherwise it was all they could assume. Taking the baby away from Hellfire would be taking the baby away from Rose, because even solid twenty-four-seven and impersonating living, she could only stand to be away from her bar for so long before she started getting weak and sick. “Xander and I will probably mostly raise the baby.”

They were all staring. Hell, Gerard and Mikey were probably staring too. If the buses weren't already moving he'd've made a break for it and met up with them in Salt Lake. It was going to be a long night.

~*~

Frank cursed as Pepper got off her leash and darted right under the bus and took off running twelve hours riding and then nearly getting stepped on by some idiot stumbling drunk she was off like a dart.

Twenty minutes of cussing later, he found Pepper. In the arms of a girl with a security pass clipped to the belt loop of her jeans which had pink sequins down the seam and in a flower design on the ankle, a Dingoes Ate My Baby t-shirt a few sizes too big and her dark hair in a thick braid to her waist. Long legged and dark eyed Frank really didn't think the kid could be more than ten or eleven. And she looked flat out terrified, ready to start bawling or bolt with Pepper.

The boy with her wasn't much more than an inch or two taller, dressed pretty much the same—jeans with the security pass on his belt loop and Dingoes tshirt. Combat boots on his feet instead of pink canvas tennis shoes with sequin hearts and a chain from his belt loop to the wallet in his back pocket.

For all the two could probably get by sharing clothes, the boy was definitely older by a bit. The girl looked really young, round cheeks and just...young. The boy at a quick glance at least didn't look like he could be more than maybe twelve. A second look, which was going to happen with those scars, and you realized no, this kid was older than that by far, just short and not a single ounce of fat on the kid anywhere from kind of gaunt cheeks to thin arms with every vein and muscle clearly defined. His left hand was mangled and scarred like it had been burnt, the pinky and ring finger curled into his palm and maybe not completely there—Frank couldn't quite tell. Sharp cheekbones and sharp jaw and crooked nose, dark eyes that kind of reminded Frank of a cornered abused to turning feral dog.

The little girl made a scared near-crying sound and buried her face in Pepper's fur.

“Apologize to my niece, fuckwit!” the boy snarled at the lug who seemed to have friends wandering in.

A man came tearing off the bus they were by, shirtless and jeans zipped but not buttoned. Some sort of leather brace thing from the knuckles of his hand to his elbow, a tattoo on his chest and a ring of ink in a wide collar around his neck—more on his shoulders and collarbones than his neck really. His back had a mess of scars that Frank couldn't begin to imagine what had made them and one eye gone, scarred sunken in socket.

“MIKE!” he bellowed and managed to grab the boy around the waist and haul him back just as the kid would have lunged at the first thug now joined by two more. “Killing humans bad. Remember? Even if they're so stupid they shouldn't be allowed to contaminate the gene pool, killing humans bad. Very much of the bad.”

“The Fuh--”

A hand clapped over the kids mouth. “Try that again. We're trying to teach Oksana civilized English. That she can tell people to fuck off in English, Spanish, Slavic, medieval Transylvanian, Klingon and Latin is not an accomplishment.”

“Multillingual at least.”

Frank gaped. He'd been too busy staring at the scarred up duo—and the little girl who had his dog—Matt's appearance shocked the hell out of him.

“The creeps kicked the pup and then tried to kick Oksana,” the boy shouted.

“Frank—” Worm's hand suddenly heavy on Frank's shoulder. He sounded more than a little breathless from rushing around trying to find Frank.

“Worm, the fuckers kicked Pepper!” Frank snarled.

“Christ this is starting off to—Cortez?” Worm frowned.

Frank was kinda shocked by—Matt looked almost crazed, psychotic and ready to kill and that really wasn't how Matt ever was.

“Fucker's fuckin' with my family, Worm.”

“Uh huh...yeah. Babe. Just wait. The baby starts talking it'll be where's my fuckin' binky.” the one eyed guy looked skyward his voice so dry and droll despite the fact he still had the boy struggling in his arms very visibly wanting to kill the idiots that kicked Pepper. “Goddess, good thing the baby isn't going to public school, she'd spend more time in the principal's office than I ever did.”

Worm managed to get the idiots sent off on their way.

“You calmed down?”

“No.”

“Mike.”

“I won't kill anyone.”

“No broken bones either.”

“Fine.”

Frank kinda thought the one eyed guy was serious. That he was worried about the boy killing or severely injuring someone.

“I mean it, Mike. I'll send you back to Tara.”

“NO!”

“Then you got to behave, kiddo.”

“The fucker—”

“Mike.”

“He—said shit to Oksana. She was pretty and he'd have to look her up in a couple years and break her in,” the boy's voice low and furious, he was absolutely shaking.

The one eyed guy seemed to fold himself around the kid even more. “She's fine. He didn't put a finger on her. And he wouldn't live long if he did.”

Frank shivered. Yeah, he could see those two killing someone. He really could.

“Oksana's fine, Mike,” the guy whispered pressing his face into the boy's spikey dark hair. “She's safe with us now. She's got Matt and me, she's got you. And Vlad. Okay. Oksana's not going to get lost like you did, baby. She's not going to have to survive like you did.”

The girl moved in and murmured something Frank couldn't catch, not completely sure it was all in English. The one eyed guy grabbed her in into the hug as well.

“You okay, Oksana?” Matt asked and rubbed her back.

She nodded.

“Okay, Mike?”

“Yeah, Xan.”

“You two scoot. Back on the bus and tell Vlad he doesn't get to go hunting, huh?”

“Frank, you mind if Oksana takes care of the dog for a couple hours? While you guys got the signing shit?”

Frank shook his head. “Uhm...”

“The fuck, Cortez? Who is that and you guys have matching tattoos,” Worm stared.

Frank stared the winged snake with sword and scythe was on both their chests—and huh. Matt and the one eyed guy both shirtless and shoe less and the button on the guy's jeans undone.

“This is Xander, Mike and Oksana Harris,” Matt said. “That's Worm and that's Frank...”

“What doggy call?” the little girl asked in a shy almost frightened voice, her English heavily accented and she leaned into the teenage boy and one eyed man like she was trying to disappear into them when she asked.

“Pepper,” Frank smiled.

“Pepper,” she repeated. Pepper turned her head and licked the little girl's nose at her name.

The boy snorted and reached to scritch Pepper's ears.

Pounding was heard from the bus.

“Vlad hungry,” Oksana said.

“Angry. Not hungry. Angry,” Xander corrected.

“Looks the same.”

“Mike,” Xander warned.

“Kid's got a point,” Matt snorted.

“You're so helpful when you're in a mood,” Xander sighed.

The pounding sounded again.

“KNOCK IT OFF, VLAD!” Xander shouted over his shoulder at the bus.

“Go on. Tell him to cool it before he puts a hole in the damn bus or something,” Matt murmured giving the kids a little push.

“This was a fucked idea bringing them on tour,” Matt muttered once the kids were on the bus.

“They're okay. One jackass is not the end of the world. We'll keep 'em close. They'll be fine. I'm more worried about Mike than Oksana. Mike isn't letting her out of arms reach and Oksana isn't going to run off or get in trouble.”

“They're your kids?” Worm asked with a frown.

“Oksana's my daughter. Her mom was an exchange student my senior year. Didn't know Oksana existed until her uncle Vlad showed up here with her. Oksana was born eight months after her mom went home. Mike...Hear of Sunnydale California? Town that got swallowed up by a sinkhole?”

“Yeah—” Frank frowned uncertainly.

“Yeah, well, no matter how many times social services were called on mom and dad about me and never did anything. They actually showed up and took Mike about three days before the town went under. Mom and Dad went with it. Too drunk and stubborn to leave. I didn't know...thought Mike was with mom and dad. So...Mike found me not too long ago. Mike bounced around foster system and ended up worse off than with mom and dad and living on the street by all of twelve. Mike's not letting go of Oksana for the world. Way more worried about that kid than her.”

Frank nodded.

Something was seriously wrong. Matching tattoos and like two months of knowing each other? Kids? A freaking baby? Those scars and that story and those scars the boy had...

Matt had been weird the night before, defensive, antsy and odd. The way the Xander guy reached for Matt and kind of pulled him against his chest, wrapped his arms around Matt's waist and...

Matt hadn't acted like that with Jared. Not that any of them had ever quite figured out what to make of Jared and Matt together. But this was something else again. It was...

It was just freaking wrong. Something was just...weird. He didn't argue with Worm's insistence that it was time to be getting to the scheduled meet and greet with contest winners for the kick off of the whole Riot Tour.


~*~

Xander pulled Matt into the back of the bus which had been turned into their bedroom rather than a back lounge.

“The kids are fine. I'm fine,” he soothed laying back onto the bed and pulling Matt down on top of him.

“Frank—” Matt grated out angrily.

“Frank what?”

“Looked at you,” Matt growled. “Like you were doing something wrong...like...”

“Like you're acting odd and this weird guy was holding onto you and matching tattoos,” Xander murmured and slid his hands over Matt's back to soothe. Xander didn't doubt it looked kinda messed up, especially as tight as he ended up holding onto Matt to keep him from launching at his friends.

“You're mine,” Matt snarled.

“Yep, he just doesn't get that yet,” Xander agreed easily. “You okay?”

“This shit is driving me fucking nuts.”

“Hey, you managed over twenty-four hours away from me, without me locked away somewhere only you had the key to,” Xander pointed out.

How Matt was managing and acting with the curses applied to the ruby was driving Wes nuts the more they managed to sort out of what was on the stone. At least once a day Wes was calling in a panic with a warning that was pretty much unnecessary. Matt was fully aware of how the ruby's curses were affecting him and managing to control it mostly a little better every day.

Wes flown off the freaking handle when they'd found Mike. He'd had an endless string of dire warnings for Xander to stay back, to send Mike to Hellfire, completely and totally terrified Matt was going to go off insane and get violent with either Xander or Mike.

Matt had grabbed the phone from Xander and lit into Wes. It was a really good thing Wes had been in Hellfire and Matt had been in DC. Matt was ready to kill for the suggestion Xander would even think of hurting a kid. Matt had been the one to decide he didn't trust Mike with Spike or Wes around and that they were keeping the kid with them, so began the story of Mike Harris, which honestly other than the fact his parents had never had any other kids, certainly was a believable enough one.

It was probably a good thing his parents were already dead. Matt might actually have killed them if they were alive.

“Where the fuck did this bus come from?”

“You—probably don't want to know.”

Matt choked. “What Andrew made it out of a pumpkin?”

“No, Andrew's not that strong. Thank the gods.”

“Ye-eah.”

“Andrew and Tyson scoured the web and found some company that did vacation package tours going under and getting rid of their buses. They managed to get five buses—“

“Where the fuck did they get the money?”

“Well, one the Dingoes' bought. Oz' van has so many miles on it I think the wards are the only thing keeping the wheels on yet. Two of the busses Andrew diverted funds from the Council's 'nest egg' which the bastards seemed to have taken out multi-million dollar life insurance policies for Slayers for years. Those two busses are going to be the commute busses between Hellfire and Cleveland. Cleveland's getting one, we're keeping the other. Faith paid for one with some of what she inherited from the Mayor. This one is flat out yours and mine. Andrew mentioned the idea to Clem, Clem mentioned it to his grandfather Cletus. Donations were taken up by Cletus...wedding present from a few demon enclaves.”

“You're right. I didn't want to know,” Matt muttered.

“Then you really don't want to know what Andrew, Tyson, Tara and Wes did to it either. Or Vlad for that matter. I think this thing could survive an apocalypse.”

“Uh huh,” Matt murmured dubiously.

Xander swallowed back the groan that rose up in his throat as Matt nuzzled at his neck. Yeah, they were dealing. Wes, Harry and every expert Harry knew couldn't credit that they were actually able to go out in society –any society. At least that Xander was and Matt wasn't going completely insane or throwing him against the nearest flat surface to prove he owned Xander, wasn't trying to beat Xander for talking to anyone.

Vlad called through the door. “Matt, it is time for you to go!”

“Shit,” Matt hissed.

“Work and all that fun stuff, yeah,” Xander agreed. “I've got to get moving too. Oz and the guys need some help.”

Matt was so tense and still he was shaking with it.

“I'll come find you as soon as I can,” Xander murmured. “See what they need and they're not going to think twice once the bulk of stuff is at least moved.”

Matt cursed under his breath.

“Do it,” Xander said softly and hesitantly reached threading his fingers through Matt's hair. “If you need to mark me, do it.”

Xander groaned at the sharp pressure of teeth digging into his neck and the sting as Matt sucked hard, raising a bruise.

“Sorry,” Matt whispered against his neck.

“You didn't do this, Angelus did,” Xander reminded him. It was almost tempting to resurrect Angelus just to torture and dust him again. Angelus' ashes were gathered up and put in a jar of Holy Water, and that was put in a series of blessed boxes then buried in the cemetery in Hellfire that was sanctified ground.

They hadn't had any luck getting who was working with, or more likely pulling Angelus' strings but keeping him alive—unalive, whatever—to try to get the information was not something any of them were willing to do. Spike had absolutely trashedthe Gilded Cage's second floor, especially the room Angel had been given when Buffy called him wondering if he'd heard from Angel who hadn't called her in weeksand that wasn't like Angel at all. He'd been calling her regularly for so long now. Since not long after Wolfram & Hart went under.

That really explained why Cleveland had gotten so bad two years before when Buffy had been there. Angelus had gotten all the inside info on Slayer plans, numbers, and intel by sweet talking Buffy and maybe a round of phone sex. It also meant that they needed to assume that the demons knew the Sunnydale Slayer was Perpetually Resurrecting if not exactly classically Immortal. Buffy seemed to be aging just like the rest of them, which kind of led him to believe there'd be a geriatric slayer that revived once a month to turn around and die of heart failure or old age a few hours later, completely helpless and at the mercy of whoever controlled her body while she was dead. Slayer blood was slayer blood, and the older a Slayer managed to live, the more powerful they became, the more powerful their blood was.

The watchers council knew this. The Cruciatem proved that.

“You're upset,” Matt whispered brokenly.

“Not by you. Not you. Angelus' name got –Buffy called Spike again just beore we left Hellfire.” Xander murmured.

Vlad pounded on the door again.

“My life just gets stranger and stranger. Dracula beating on the bedroom door that we got to get up and go to work.”

“Dracula?” Matt gaped, his voice strangled and disbelieving.

“Vlad cel Batran—Vlad the Elder of House Draculesti. The house's name, and the tag Dracula are pretty much his great-nephew's fault. His nephew was Vlad the Dragon—Vlad Dracul. His great nephew was the religious psychopath with the impalement fetish—Vlad Tepes—the one that the book and all the movies decided was a vamp. He actually had a point a couple times, couple of towns were infested with demonic worms that would use human hosts, but mostly it sounds like he just liked it once he started.”

“The real Dracula?”

“Not exactly—the 'real' Dracula was human—his great nephew.”

“Xander.”

“Yeah,” Xander murmured warily.

Matt just shook his head. “Only you—only you would forget a detail like that...”

Xander was kind of stunned by the kiss, fast but firm and most definitely a kiss, pressed to his lips before Matt was up and grabbing his shirt and shoes. “Uh...sorry?”

“Fuckin' Dracula,” Matt shook his head. “What you think is normal and not worth mentioning—is...”

Xander bit his lip and didn't move, didn't dare breathe more than necessary. Just because Matt hadn't gone off the deep end over everything, even without the curse's side effects, didn't mean he wouldn't eventually—especially with the curse's effects.

He must have done something wrong because Matt all of a sudden looked upset.

“I—I'll catch you later.”

Xander nodded. “Yeah, later.”

Xander opened his eye a few minutes later. Vlad was standing there staring. “Oh what?”

Vlad merely shook his head and wandered toward the front of the bus.


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