InsaneJournal

Current mood:	amused
Entry tags:	30 seconds to mars, 30stm: cleopatra verse, 30stm: jared leto, 30stm: jared/tim, 30stm: tim kelleher

FIC: Cleopatra--30stm, Jared/Tim, 13ish
title Cleopatra
author: lisa roquin
fandom: 30 Seconds to Mars
rating: 13+ (rated for the fussy, but it's fairly harmless)
pairing/characters: Jared/Tim
disclaimer: lies, fiction, untrue. completely and totally made up. I know no one, know nothing of their personal lives. I make no claims of knowing much of anything.
summary:"I believed you the first time, keep it up, I might start wondering again there, Cleopatra."
warning: ~rolls eyes~ er? language? nothing really.
author notes: kynxpirations prompt 1-02-09: "The kissing was totally platonic until you started using your tongue"
word count:2800+, yeah I do know what a drabble is, I just can't write one anymore. obviously



He had no idea what to make of it the first time. He really had been too stunned to even think when it happened or a good ten or fifteen minutes after. A weeks worth of scraggle not grown out or filled in enough to be called an actual beard, still more stubble-coarse-scratchy than the softer feel of a beard, and soft dry lips brushing over his cheek, scent of sweat and stage makeup filling his nose for a second and after-show high from one fucking fantastic set thrumming through them all, and the third or fourth show he'd played with them. Lithe body in tight, tight jeans pressed mostly against his side for a second and maybe, maybe half-hard from the high of the show or bouncing and rubbing against Shannon and Tomo who'd both got similar treatment before him.

He thought maybe that Jared had pressed just a little closer or lingered half a heartbeat longer against him than the other two.


*

The next time he wasn't sure what the hell had happened. It had been a week or so later and he'd been outside on the balcony of their hotel room where ever the hell they'd been playing that night smoking to kill time. The other three had been pow-wowing over whatever the hell. Official band stuff and he wasn't official. Most of the time, they didn't pull that card but Shannon had asked if he would mind giving them a bit.

Not that big of a deal really. Especially not then when everything was still kinda really completely new. He had their music down enough to go on stage with them but getting them down and how they worked? Months and months and months off at that point and they weren't completely sure about him either. Reality check. No major thing. He hadn't been insulted or upset, just bored to tears and the fact that he went through almost a half a pack in a couple hours just to kill time showed that. There had been absolutely nothing to do. He couldn't really go anywhere, with "when we're done we'll grab you and..." he didn't remember what, but he'd been pretty well asked to wait, nicely, and agreed to, so wait he had. TV had been too boring to tolerate and the book he'd been reading, in his bag, in the room the other three were holed up in. So, out on the balcony with his ipod and cigarettes.

Jared slipped out onto the balcony after what seemed like an eternity about the time Tim lit his eleventh cigarette--the exact number easy enough to count, ten butts crushed out next to his hip where he sat and he'd gone out with a brand new pack, the cellophane torn off was right there as well. And he'd been that frickin' bored that the number had stuck in his mind clear as a bell even months later.

Jared had been practically vibrating he was so deliberately still, his expression was dangerously blank, carefully schooled benignly pleasant, blue eyes so cold they freaking burned. The quiet dangerous bordering on psychopathic pissed off, and nearly impossible to gage if you didn't know where to watch, how to watch. Jared was an actor. He could fake it and con with the best, but if he trusted someone he had a habit of letting his guard and his act slip just a little. Usually, but not always, it was his eyes that would give it away eventually. A tightness at the corner of them, a blaze or arctic blast of emotion flickering in them for a split second, a quick blink or twitch at the corner of his left eye, eyebrows twitch almost as if they wanted to knit together but didn't quite move. Just little flickers. And god knew you had to watch close because even Shannon wasn't sure to catch them. Jared's masks and walls and acts were as much a part of him as anything else.

He hadn't been able figure out the giveaways then. Hell, he hadn't even realized he'd actually seen them.

"Just to double check--I didn't totally fuck up and gonna get totally ripped or get fired or something?"

"What?" honest confusion for a second. "No. It's not you."

Tim nodded. He remembered debating for a heartbeat if he should ask or not. Instead he held up his pack of cigarettes without a word.

The pack was snatched out his hand with a demand of "Lighter" which Tim handed over just as quietly. Not willing to tempt Jared's mood and be who caught the brunt of whatever the hell it was.

Jared paced the roughly ten foot width of the balcony long enough to inhale three cigarettes furiously one after the other. Just foggy-dim enough wherever they were that the cherry on the end flared brightly, furiously with each heavy drag on the cigarette.

Tim shifted and stretched his neck popping loudly. Jared stopped dead in his tracks and looked almost startled Tim was still sitting there on the balcony, back up against the building's wall. Tim shifted and stretched a little more, straightening his legs out in front of him. He nodded toward the spot on the balcony floor next to him, "Gimme, I want another," was all he said holding out his hand for cigarettes and lighter.

"Such manners," Jared huffed and sat down next to Tim eyeballing him in that way Jared had that could make anyone squirm and want to run far, far away as fast as they could without really realizing why or what it was about that look that caused it, just that they did.

"They're my smokes," Tim snorted.

Jared looked confused for a split second. Blinked once. Handed the pack and lighter to Tim. "Sorry. I don't even smoke."

Tim shrugged. "Not worried about it." And like hell could a non-smoker suck down three cigarettes that fast with about every third drag exhaled through his nose in a burning huff like some pissed off bull, which was really a ridiculous and hilarious thing to compare someone as sleek and slim as Jared to.

Mr I-don't-even-smoke-lit a fourth cigarette by the time Tim took a second drag off the one he lit. This time the pack set down between them. Traffic was picking up on the street below and the fog seemed to be getting a bit damper and darker.

Shannon knocked on the sliding glass door and motioned c'mon with a wave his arm "Time to go" came muffled and not exactly clear from through the not-quite soundproof glass.

Tim crushed out his cigarette, stretched and popped his back getting to his feet. He held his hand out to Jared and helped him up.

"Such a gentleman," Jared half-sneered.

"Damp's getting to me and you have a few more miles on you," he shot back and the second the words were out he almost kicked himself.

Jared blinked. "Asshole."

"You...good?" Tim asked hesitantly. "At least calmed down?"

"Yeah. Yeah. Thanks," Jared nodded.

It was another hit-and-run thing. The fact that Jared his singed his own hair by careless movement of his cigarette back by his ear and a bit of breeze that had been stubbornly trying to move heavy-damp air off and on kicked up blowing a strand of Jared's hair straight into the cigarette was really the only way Tim was quite sure the brush of lips against his chin actually happened, marked by the quiet splutter-crackle and stink of burnt hair.


*

He almost, almost got used to it. Jared's mercurial moods and the odd fleeting brush of lips, usually on his cheek, rarely at the corner of his mouth. One drunken night he'd been carrying on about...

Well Tim wasn't quite sure, that was rather hazed in the fog of too much alcohol in his own system and caught more up in the fact whatever Jared was going on about had somehow brought him across the motel room to the bed that was Tim's for the night. The right sort of mix of alcohol and moody Jared was actually snuggly and lips on the side of Tim's neck before Jared fucking passed out. He honestly still thought it was more the rings under his eyes and exhaustion and the alcohol finally breaking a four-day streak of insomnia than passed out drunk.

Every time he thought maybe...maybe he might not be imagining things, that maybe... There was suddenly a great chasm of distance and the Ice King of Multiple Personality Sociopaths was glaring at him. Or plastered onto Shannon like his brother was either a security blanket or his lover. The contemplation of the former kind of hurt and made him wonder what might have ever got Jared to that kind of clingy. The latter, well, that thought, though he'd die before he admitted it, fueled a few jerkoff fantasies and was beyond disturbing how hot that was.


*

The Asian MTV awards is where Tim thought he totally fucked up everything, including his job for an hour or two at least. Temorary/Touring/whatever the fuck non-official bassist for the band. Vicky was with Tomo, turning the trip into a bit of a mini vacation and they'd ducked out of the after-party thing early. Shannon had disappeared early too, which was probably going to result in a breakup with DDs-and-mole-by-her-lip. Because Jared had pointedly reminded Shannon four times that whatever her name was was expecting a call from Shannon. DDs-and-mole-by-her-lip was probably Shannon's fifth, maybe sixth girlfriend since Tim had been working for them. Jared and Tomo's way of designating Shannon's women was kind of reasonable considering that. Especially when they all seemed to have names that fell under either hippy-what-the-fuck-was-your-mother-on or moronically-spelled cutesy-cute ending in an "ee" sound. And the stupider the spelling the more likely they were to insist that the spelling was known.

Tim couldn't quite be surprised when Jared followed him to the room he was in. He'd expected whichever brother didn't hook up for the night honestly, the way everything had gone.

"Night night, Timmy," Jared snorted almost sarcastically in one of his oddest moods. A little bitter and just...kinda twisted up. Tim pretty much guessed Jared hadn't slept well for a few days or was gearing up for another streak of it. He couldn't quite put his finger on which it might be.

Jared took a half step against Tim and leaned in, stretching up. The kiss was full on the lips. Just a soft, dry, barely there brush but full on the lips, and Tim was admittedly a little drunk, not to mention this shit had been going on months since he'd been hired. The first kiss wasn't til after he'd started touring but Jared's odd brush up against moves. Those he'd not thought anything of, not at first. Tomo and Shannon were the same. The three of them were kind of ridiculously bad about personal space with each other and it occasionally spilled over to Tim. Jared was the only one that kissed him, though. Shannon tackling him and blowing a raspberry on his cheek, almost in his damned ear didn't count, not in a kissing way. The thing was it had been months and he still hadn't figured out what the hell to make of Jared's kisses such as they were. When, yeah, he'd give Tomo and Shannon both joking smack on the cheek but nothing really like how the kisses Tim kept getting seemed.

He caught Jared by the hips, lightly. His hands just there enough to still Jared for a heartbeat or three since Tim didn't reach for him when he did things like this. Tim slowly lowered his head, blue eyes that were looking at him wide, deer-in-the-headlights near panicked. He knew it was probably the worst idea he'd had in his life as his lips met Jared's moving softly against them. His tongue flickered out and traced Jared's bottom lip before pulling back.

"The fuck?" Jared sort of rasped out.

"Just saying that's all," Tim said quietly. "Bad of an idea as it might be, I wouldn't say no. Night, Jared."

"Bad. Bad. Bad. BAD FUCKING IDEA," Jared sort of squawked.

"Okay. That's cool." It wasn't so much, not that he was going to cause a problem but yeah, he had to admit it was disappointing a lot, and maybe hurt a little, but yeah, he could definitely agree with the assessment 'bad.bad.bad.BADFUCKINGIDEA' easily. He was pretty good at shrugging and going ahead with bad ideas, the worse the idea the more easily he shrugged and went with it half the time. And it had been fucking months of odd little kisses and heartbeats of Jared pressed entirely too close. "Night, Jared."

"I mean it. Bad. Fucking. Idea." Jared snarled an hour later. Tim opened an eye. Jared was standing over the bed looking more than a little psychotic.

"I'm not arguing."

"Then why the fuck did you kiss me!"

"You kissed me first," Tim yawned and sat up, sleep was not going to happen until Jared slept obviously.

"It was totally platonic kissing until you started using your tongue!"

Tim raised an eyebrow. "If you say so."

"You fucking right I say so! I don't do guys!"

"Okay, we've got that cleared up," Tim figured he was probably looking for another band or session work when they got back to LA. He kinda had that thought about the second he licked at Jared's bottom lip. He'd rather not though and wasn't going to antagonize Jared, at least not intentionally, but sometimes it was really fucking hard to figure out what was going to antagonize Jared.

"I don't do guys! What the fuck was that tongue shit!"

"I don't do girls," Tim snorted. "Maybe I'm wrong but half the time your goofing around seems a little more flirty with me than say annoying brat like with Shan or Tomo. And you kind of kiss me a lot any more. Just...saying I wouldn't say no if you were trying to decide to do something. That's all."

"Where's my fucking cigarettes?"

"I've never seen you buy a pack of smokes since I've been working for you but mine are on the dresser there. Lighter too."

"Totally fucking platonic until you started with the tongue!" Jared repeated and snagged the cigarettes off the dresser.

Tim groaned when it was very obvious he was way too awake, and way too sober now, and his cigarettes and lighter were out on the balcony with Jared. Well. Fuck.

"So, can I have one of my cigarettes and am I fired for outing myself?" Tim asked tiredly when he stepped out on the balcony.

"The fuck? You think I'm that fucking much of an asshole?" Jared snapped but held up the cigarette pack and lighter for Tim.

Tim shrugged. "Lot of people you'd never expect to be, are when it comes to...fine in theory but not in their band, not in their family...don't know."

"You're not fucking fired," Jared snarled.

Tim couldn't help but wilt in relief a bit at that, Jared sound completely fucking pissed off enough to mean it. As long as things didn't get to weird and could settle out, he liked this job. Liked them, loved the music. Even if he was permanently "temporary/touring/whatthefuckever" he wouldn't mind this job lasting a good long time. Plenty of artists and even bands had a pretty permanent batch of "non official" musicians behind them on stage, he could work with being permanent-nonband member bassist. And really, missing out on the bullshit of interviews, wasn't all that heartbreaking.

"You--"

"Me what?" Tim raised an eyebrow.

"Fucking sit. You're making my neck hurt."

Tim snorted and sat down next to Jared where he slapped the balcony.

"I'll stop," Jared announced. "I won't anymore okay? Don't quit."

"Stop what?"

"Kissing you," Jared said in a tone that sounded like he thought Tim was the world's biggest moron.

"I'm not quitting. If I had a problem with you kissing me I would have said so way back when. Just a little drunk and--you usually kiss me on the cheek, not full on the mouth. You kiss Shannon and Tomo all the time, don't usually think anything of it when you kiss me too, just you usually don't kiss me full on the mouth."

"Don't ever say that in public."

Tim choked. "I swear." Both Shannon and Jared were still a little tetchy over their Grandma Ruby getting half fangirled by a twit granddaughter of some lady she played pitch or pinochle or something with and had "Letocest fanfic" explained to her.

"I don't do guys."

"Okay."

"I don't."

"I believed you the first time, keep it up, I might start wondering again there, Cleopatra." Tim shot back. Whoa. Uh oh. Mouth. Get back under control while you're still employed.

"Asshole," Jared snorted.

Tim got a kiss on the temple when Jared went back into the room for bed.