InsaneJournal

FIC: Never The Easy Way pt 2/?--Penguins Verse Adult. Jared/Matt
prequel: Chance Meeting
other stories in verse: full list here

warnings:graphic sex, angst, language, drug & alcohol use, mild violence, more sex, more language, more angst, touching on numerous trigger-worthy issues woven through that go from abortion, sexual harassment, past references to/implications of rape & consensual turned non-con (nothing on screen) reference to domestic abuse, and the list goes on. Honestly I'm at a loss for attempting to warn for this one, the above has bearing on how these guys are/behave/how they're screwed up but not the focus of anything exactly. The accumulative effects of living hard and most around them doing the same is more accurate for a warning. Here be smut, angst and a fairly rough rollercoaster ride.

full header/disclaimer & part 1




Hotel Night, Mid January 2009

Matt rolled his eyes at the room bickering. “I'll share with Jared.”

“You're a saint,” Ray patted him on the shoulder.

Matt rolled his eyes again. The guys were really being fucking ridiculous.


*

“C'mon, you're with me,” Matt said as he caught Jared as they all piled off the buses. “Rooming came out odd with this.”

“Yeah, fine,” Jared sighed tiredly. “Gerard texted me earlier, said you volunteered.”

“Oh yes, I'm such a trial to put up with,” Matt snorted.

“I'm seriously fucking beat.”

Matt turned his head and glanced at Jared oddly. He stifled any comment until they reached their room. “Okay...now you sit your ass down and explain that stupid ass fucking comment. You think I said I'd room with you just cause I want to get off?” His voice soft and incredulous and not a little hurt because goddamn...

“Isn't it?” Jared snapped. “I'm fucking beat. I get sick when I don't eat something and have since getting the weight off after Chapter 27. Shit since Requiem. Just feel it more now. I'm fucking shaky as hell since my fucking brother didn't wake me up when everyone stopped to eat this afternoon, didn't wake up me up until we hit the fucking venue because I was up most of last night and didn't get to sleep 'til almost fucking noon and I didn't have a chance to grab anything from a vending machine or something there.”

“When the fuck have I ever given you the idea I was like that, you son of a bitch,” Matt snarled. “I have never fucking forced or even coerced anyone into anything like that. Jesus fucking Christ, yeah I get all the shit for being the resident fucking pervert but none of the rest are so fucking pure and saintly not even goddamn Toro. They give me all the fucking hell about my porn but they're right there watching it just as goddamn much and half the time I'm not the one that puts it on in the fucking lounge. I volunteered to shut them the fuck up over trying to sort the room shit out because I didn't give a damn one way or another, not because I was planning on trying to get in your fucking pants. Just go take your fucking shower and get the fuck to bed. I'll be back before bus call.” Matt snarled and grabbed his coat stalking out of the room.

*

Jared woke up to the bed being kicked. “Jay, c'mon wake up. You need to get something in you.” the voice tired, and more defeated than anything else. Another kick to the bed frame, “C'mon, wake up, Jay.”

Jared opened his eyes. “Huh?”

“Vegetable Stir Fry,” Matt held the paper sack toward Jared.

“You--”

“Got you something to eat. You can't let yourself get fucked up like that. We'll have Brian out here ripping everyone's asses right and left.”

Jared sat up groggily and hesitantly took the bag.

“Yeah, well, the stuff didn't smell bad. Got me some too. There's supposed to be a spork and some napkins and shit in there. Since Frank whored me out for a piece of pizza he actually ate, figured be safe and go with vegetarian.”

“I asked Gerard if we could borrow you. Frank extorted the pizza and yeah, guessed right.” Jared said quietly, wanting to flinch a little at the bitter edge to Matt's voice. “I'm—I'm sorry I--”

“You—you really think I'm that fucking much of a dick? That I really would even think of being asshole I—shit. That's fucking bullshit--”

“You're not a dick,” Jared shook his head. “I-- Tim and Tomo have been wound up and bitching at each other who was getting stuck with me and who was getting stuck with one of you guys. Tim's still half scared of you and Frank from the Nyquil Rampage and Tomo's afraid of Mikey killing him in his sleep or something. And...it's not like any of your band likes me or would want to put up with me so...just figured you were thinking maybe and I was just asshole about saying no.”

“You make my head hurt. You have all three times we've been alone in a room together. Jesus.” Matt shook his head.

“Anyone will tell you I'm a schitzo asshole. Hell, my brother will be the first to say that half the time,” Jared snorted. “Not worth listening to what I say let alone get upset about it.”

“Yeah, after he's left holding the bag or been on the receiving end of the shit you pull, but in case you haven't noticed as far as your brother is concerned he's the only one that gets to say that shit, except maybe Tomo. And I don't think there's anyone on earth that adores their brother more than Shannon. Not even Mikey and Gee.”

Jared took a bite of the food, not tasting it at all. Matt had gotten it, he wasn't going to argue, and he really did need something to eat. “You throw me off. I can't figure out what the fuck you want from me.” Jared blurted.

“What?” Matt stared and finally shook his head at Jared's prolonged silence. “I don't want shit.”

“Yeah, I can't figure you out,” Jared murmured.

“You've been in the fucking rat race way too long, not sure if the music or the acting or both. But goddamn, man.”

Jared shrugged half-heartedly and continued to methodically eat his food. Matt looked—Matt looked just kind of defeated or, hell Jared didn't know what but he knew he didn't like that. “I don't think you're like that. You weren't even like that when you were a half drunk kid. Hell, the guy that was—was he in the band or something—you knew him?--fuck that's what I was going for. Probably would have ended up--”

“Tony would have fucking—Jesus—yeah, drummer and I worked with the asshole then. Last I heard the dumbfuck wasn't getting out for another year or two on felony assault charges. He woulda messed you up good.”

“You're not—you weren't like that then, you aren't now,” Jared said quietly. “Hell, Iero found out somehow that you ended up fucking babysitting me—probably fuckin' Tim—he gave me hell that I ruined your night and you didn't really...you hung with the sober or mostly sober, almost all married or attached guys and missed out....”

“Frank gets too worried about everyone else's sex life when he's horny and missing Jamia,” Matt snorted. “Or when Jamia's around and no one else is getting any.”

“You didn't say—I mean if you had—it's not like...” Jared scowled. “They wouldn't give you shit about...”

Matt stared and shook his head, his voice soft and cautious as he said, “You have first hand experience on how flexible Gee can be. Frank's just as flexible maybe more so if he wasn't so completely freaking gone on his wife. He was still just a kid when he fell for her and that's all she wrote. Mikey is very open-minded on a lot of things. Bob is with your brother. Then there's me. Brian and James are pretty well straight but I think Ray's the only one on the bus that can honestly say not so much as drunk grinding and making out with another guy. Dude, they wouldn't even blink. They know I've left parties to hook up with guys, or groups with guys in it. They know damn well not all my porn is not straight vanilla because they watch it.. And if it's too hardcore or just too lacking in pussy, Ray heads in back and screws around in the studio. If they have a clue I hooked up with someone it's because they saw me leave with them or I turned down hanging with one of them 'cause I was meeting up with someone. Told you, I don't kiss and tell. Not a one of them would say shit though at least not mean, and they don't give Bob shit like that. Give him shit about getting as attached to his phone as Mikey is, and his snickering and sappy smiling when he's texting Shan, but nothin' like that.”

“You don't kiss and tell--”

“Dude, miles of difference between there was this redhead with a tongue piercing in I think Texas three years ago and oh hell yeah, I've done that...and actually naming names and details to go with the names.”

“You knew who I was--”

“Not a hundred percent certain but I was as sure as I could be, yeah. My girlfriend freshman year of high school and one of my cousins were fucking obsessed with you on that show.”

Jared took another bite. He could feel Matt watching, still kinda hurt and wary and concerned anyway. Jared really hated that. Hated himself for that.

“You sucked tonight, last night whatever—that cause you thought you were gonna have to put out when you felt like shit or get bitched at?”

Jared shrugged. Cortez kept him too off balance to really grab the upper hand with him because he couldn't peg down what the hell Matt was after. Nice didn't last in this business, either chewed up and spat out by the bullshit or turned into another out for number one just like every other. Matt had been on the road way too long not to have developed a streak of asshole and vicious, especially in the last few years when he'd been stepping up on stage and reached a strange in-between of almost in the band, more than just crew. Crews could be just as bad if not worse. Everyone wanted something, even just bragging rights of having fucked a rock star or actor or whatever.

Matt shook his head. “Well, now you know better, Jay, kinda thought you woulda known --. I'm gonna grab a shower quick.”

*

“You're wide awake now, aren't you?”

Jared shrugged and sat the now empty carton on the nightstand. “Pretty much,” Jared couldn't help but watch as Matt moved across the room. Not a stitch on him, still damp skin and tattoos, a few drops of water from his hair left trails as they made their way down.

“Huh?” Matt looked over his shoulder. “What?”

“You walk around naked and expect me not to look?” Jared said, wincing as the words came out sharp and asshole-ish.

“The way you acted earlier, didn't figure you were interested in looking.” Matt shrugged and continued rubbing his hair dry with the towel in his hand.

“Sorry,”

Matt rolled his eyes. “Jay, if I had a problem with you looking, I'd have something on. At least a towel. And no, I wasn't tryin' to get you look either.”

“I know,” Jared said quietly.

Matt just shook his head and dug in his bag, found a pair of undershorts and put them on. “What's your damn number? I'll call and make sure your ass is up when we're stopping. You gotta take care of yourself or you're gonna drive everyone nuts.”

“Why do you care?” Jared snapped bitterly. He felt like hell to begin with and Cortez seemed to have a habit or a knack or something of catching him when he wasn't completely on guard and knocking him that much further off his game, confused the fuck out of him and then left him feeling guilty.

“Because I'm a fucking sucker, and even more I don't like watching my friends fuck themselves up in any way. Especially not with stupid shit that can be avoided.”

“Friends?” Jared said shocked.

“Well, you're not a random hookup. You're not someone I just put up with. You ain't exactly an acquaintance either. Close enough.”

Jared quietly gave his number to Matt who programmed it into his phone, then obediently put Matt's number into his own with the loudest ringtone he had on his phone attached to it.

“C'mon, lay down and try to rest. They'll be making the rounds beating on doors way too soon.”

Jared told himself he wasn't disappointed when Matt fell onto the other bed and settled with his back to him.


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