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FIC: What the Ohio Board of Toursim Will Never Tell You-- pt 9/9
full header & chapter one || chapter two || chapter three || chapter four || chapter five || chapter six || chapter seven || chapter eight


Chapter Nine—Is This Over Now?




Irma is going to go to the Hub and scratch out eyes if they manage to resurrect the ding bat with their time manipulator 2: 37 AM August 07 2009

Lucinda says the TechnoMage needs lessons in basic numerical measurements.--2:34 AM August 07, 2009
--From the twitter account of EDCatz

~


The way they moved and fell into line, that really really said to Gerard just how often they'd done this. The same kind of fall into step, that couldn't be faked, on par with crews stumbling half asleep, hung over and going through the motions of setting up the show with memorized movements. They weren't half-sleepwalking or hung over, in fact they were all on edge alert and sharp eyed, but it was the same overall feel to the group movement somehow. That they'd done this so many times there was no room to really do more than point or nod or exchange a glance. Everyone knew exactly what they were doing and what they had to do without question or nervousness or freaking out, except for him.

They split off in groups at the Q's parking lot. Dawn and two slayers went one way. A pair of younger coven members and two other slayers went another way. Andrew had three slayers with him. Faith, Spike and Xander kept Gerard with them. Rather he was dragged along by Faith while Spike and Xander followed a paralel path.

The Slayer/Coven Member team were headed for the chain reaction apocalypse, and Dawn and the pair of fourteen year olds she had with her were doing the regular patrolling. Andrew doubled back, sending “his” slayers to help with Apocalypse number two, a few glares sent in his direction had Gerard pretty sure Andrew was going to get his butt kicked a few times from Faith, Xander and maybe even Spike when the world didn't end but no one argued. The first apocalypse was the biggie, the second was smaller, opportunistic trying to piggyback off the energy drawn up by the first if it failed, or ride the energy of the first if it worked and brought their own baddies into play as well.

He had a fucking sword and they expected him to be able to use it because of a spell he could still feel buzzing under his skin. That buzz under his skin left him bouncing, or at least wanting to bounce like Frank used to when he was almost overdosed on cappuccinos way back when they were still in the van and just barely making gas money to get from one show to the next. Frank still was bad, but he'd been way worse then.


~


Xander did his best to ignore the headache. The sorta Slayer Healing part of the spell was at least keeping it down to bearable, something able to fight with. At least it was a simple enough thing. Urkavin Demons were easy enough to kill, at least in method. Blessed steel was easy to come by and they were almost as overall vulnerable as a human. The tricky parts were their blood was mildly acidic and they were about a match for a Slayer or a vamp for strength, they also tended to be berserkers. Once they hit the berserker frenzy, they didn't stop until everything around them was dead, they were dead or they collapsed from exhaustion. The last was really the least likely to happen. The second apocalypse was a vampire Coven. Literally. A coven that had a member vamped and the rest picked off one by one. They were actually the nastier threat with a couple very powerful casters in the bunch and had been a pain in the ass in Cleveland for longer than the hellmouth had been fully active. They were actually the more dangerous bunch even if they were the more minor apocalypse. They had a bead on where the Vamp Coven was going to be, and heavy on slayers in the group, as well as two of the best with levitation and projectile spells.

“Andrew? Did the scrying or the prophecy happen to mention there were FIFTY Urkavins.” Xander growled.

“Mabye, kinda...”

“How kinda?” Faith demanded.

“Two and a half score.”

“Ass is grass, Andrew,” Xander snarled.

“I'm all for a spot of violence and bloodshed, but if you're ever so bloody stupid again I'm going to drain you dry, turn you and introduce you to my Dark Princess' idea of foreplay.”

“Which includes chains, wood splinters, crosses and holy water for starters.” Faith explained to Gerard before he could find the words for the question clearly written on his face.

“Haven't done anything with hot pokers since I chained up Angelus over the Gem of Amara.”

“I've been practicing paralyzing spells. I can probably hold two at a time for ten seconds.”

“Stay with Faith and Gerard then.” Xander said grimly. He didn't have time for more than a hope that the spells worked right as Spike launched himself into the midst of the demons. Xander ran after him, staying close as he could in the mele.



~



Gerard would never be able to clearly recall the fight with the demons. Fight hell it was a battle. Something sort of took hold and everything was muted and distant almost as if he were going through the motions on autopilot or watching a blurry movie with no volume from far away.

As the last demon fell he glanced around and everything went black.


~


“Easy, pet, c'mon. You get knocked on the head harder than that all the time and slayer healing factor you're supposed to have.”

Gerard blinked. Blinked both eyes. The stench of the demons wasn't so strong and things weren't so sharp, yeah, Mikey was right he needed glasses. His eye was stinging. He blinked again and reached up with a shaky hand wiping the blood away, poking at the cut on his eyebrow and forehead a bit as he did so. A cut on his arm, a minor one on his hip, bumps bruises scrapes and aches and a hangover-headache that was making him nauseous from the sheer strength of it without the gory mess they were standing in the middle of.

“Pet?”

“GERARD! You okay?”

“Fucking hungover,” Gerard muttered.

“Told you,” Xander shot back.

“We did it?”

“We did it, pet,” Spike said from what sounded a long way away.

“Can I pass out now?” Gerard asked weakly.

“Yeah Pet, I got you.” Spike said.


~



Mr. Ray's Music Class had passed out from sheer exhaustion. That included Worm and the two Slayers whose bad babysitting skills almost ended the world with the Little Apocalypse That Could.

They were fucking insane. They named apocalypses. And they named them, well, Brian could see designating one apocalypse from the next but good grief, Wentz would come up with something like The Little Apocalypse That Could. No, Bert or Gerard would come up with something like The Little Apocalypse that Could. Wentz would come up with Cataclysmic Adventures in Babysitting or Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter Let Us Open the Hellmouth.

Ray was contented with playing guitar for the Coven still working on finding Bob. So far they still hadn't come up with anything more than 'in Jamaica, alive and unmaimed.' He couldn't argue with the one older witch, Janice, who had reassured him it was a good thing.

One of the other witches had done something to take the duct tape off Frank's face without taking half of Frank's face off with it. Frank had been silent and glaring and not so sneakily trying to work at the duct tape holding him in the chair.

Brian's eyes widened taking in the filthy, reeking and he didn't want to know what the hell some of the slime and goo on their clothes was. They looked a good bit worse for the wear, Gerard, Xander, Faith and Spike seemed to be worst of all, but Brian was pretty sure everyone who'd left was back.

“Gerard?” He looked toward the body Gerard had been occupying.

“Yeah I'm fine Brian, Bob back?” Gerard, GERARD! Gerard back in his own body Gerard. He wondered if these guys provided therapists, his own would be wanting him to take a month off and spend some time in-patient if he ever tried saying anything about this.

“No,” Brian glanced over at the group of witches who looked about as surprised as Brian was. What they'd figured out was that the two kids—Cayla and Joshua—sort of combined their power, or Cayla grabbed Josh's and just blasted with only the thought of the interview in mind to get attention of someone who could help them and maybe give the guys their wish. No counter spell because there wasn't exactly a spell cast.

“GOT HIM!” Janice cried. “Quickly now...”

Brian watched the witches start chanting something. A bruised, wild eyed and panting Bob appeared on the table the witches were gathered around covered in research books notes and the crystals Janice had set up for whatever sort of scrying or whatever the hell it was she was doing.

“Ow...and WHAT THE FUCK???” Bob managed to get out.

“Will someone let me the fuck up! I gotta piss!” Frank shouted from the chair.

“You back in your right mind?” Brian demanded. “Or at least back to your normal fucked in the head?”

“Yeah, now let me up!”


~


“C'mon, Pet, you bloody well stink.”

“Uh huh, you smell like sunshine and roses too, Spike,” Xander snorted.

“Witches can sort this lot. They got their missing one back and the rest seem to be coming round too.”

Xander let Spike steer him back up out of the library and upstairs, through the school to Xander's set of rooms. “Shower, pet.” Spike said as he sprawled on the closed toilet lid.

“Uh huh you're going to be evil and go for a free show?”

“I'm a vampire, pet. Got to get my evil in somehow.” Spike grinned. “Leering at your arse is a start and there's the possible bonus of laughing when you land on arse.”

Xander snorted again. The spells Andrew and Rebecca did earlier buzzing wildly under his skin yet and the switching back to their right bodies seemed to have absolutely every bit of magical residue he'd gained stirred up to no end. Spike wanted a free show, well, whatever. Spike would at least pick him up off the shower floor and get someone to check him out if he fell flat on his face.

“Ought to turn you and have Red soul you up. Then you'd be less breakable and I'd get to shag you if you were my Childe.”

“Then we'd have an uncaged demon to worry about the next time I got whammied with some sort of mojo. No way, Spike.” Xander snorted. It wasn't even really an argument, though Spike was probably more than a little serious about the turning and the shagging. “Never happening, Spike.”

“Never say never. Haven't you learned that one yet?”

Xander rolled his eye and started the shower, peeling off clothes he didn't have the energy to see if they were salvageable or not.


~


Gerard staggered his way back into the room they had been given, closer to a dorm room than anything else with a half dozen twin beds jutting out from two opposite walls. Bob was on one miserably exhausted sore and bruised from being ran through exercises and drills and whatever else. Ray was still apologizing profusely for being such a pain in the ass to Worm and freaking out about getting possibly killed over some of the songs he taught the little kids.

“You let them duct tape me to a fucking chair!”

“You thought you were Batman!” Brian shot back.

Gerard sat down next to Mikey on one of the beds. “Where's Matt?” he murmured quietly to his brother. Frank and Brian seemed to have directed their mutual freaking out into a bellowed argument about Frank's day spent mostly taped into a chair.

“Faith grabbed him. Slaying makes her horny, Matt has a nice ass.” Mikey answered quietly with a slightly disturbed expression. “She won't hurt him will she?”

“I don't think so.” Gerard frowned slightly.

“Andrew thought this might work. He's going to make one maybe.” Mikey stared at his sketches.

“Cool,”

“You okay? Really?”

“Mmm, get back to you on that one,” Gerard managed. He'd had stuff he didn't want to identify picked off his clothes and out of his hair before they'd got to the school and the stuff he'd washed off in the shower. He was really, really glad the whole battle part was kind of a weird hazy blur because the carnage after it was clear enough and had him hurling his guts up when he'd come back to before they'd headed back to the school. Thinking about it too much had him kind of wanting to puke again.

“Demons,”

“Vampires,”

“This was fucking weird.”

Gerard nodded.

“You ever do this again and I am going to kick your ass,” Mikey glared.

“I didn't do this on fucking purpose,” Gerard gaped. “I didn't fucking do anything.”

“You fucking went off to fight demons and left me here!” Mikey hissed.

“You wouldn't have moved even if I could have taken you with. You were drawing that,” Gerard hissed back.

“You are not allowed to do shit that's going to get you killed. Especially shit like fighting fucking demons,” Mikey glared. “Not without me.”

“Well, there won't be a next time,” Gerard said. “Fuckin' gonna have nightmares forever.”

Mikey stared hard for a long moment then nodded. “Andrew's going to send me one if he gets it made and it works.”

“Cool,” Gerard said quietly and leaned into his brother a little more.


~


“Hey, nightmares bad?” Xander asked sitting down next to Gerard with his coffee.

Gerard shrugged. “Not too bad.”

Mikey glared.

“What's going to happen to those two kids?” Gerard wanted to know.

Xander shook his head. “Josh is nineteen. He's good. We really don't have to worry about a damn thing on him. He can just stay here without any trouble. A fake will has been produced that Cayla was to go to Janice. A couple of the coven and two of the Council's lawyers went to go convince the old nut job it's really best if he lets them go and shuts the hell up. Keep a watch on the rest of the kids from a distance. Arrange a magical heart attack for the old man if we have to. Josh and Cayla will be taught enough to keep them from having too many magical oopsie moments. At least by way of blind spell-less emotional casting. Casting going completely fubar is another story. They didn't mean any harm really. Cayla's got a sense of something. Not sure if she's got a touch of seeing or what or if something else was using her for a puppet to get you in place for this particular apocalypse. She knew if she did something in Cleveland she'd get the notice of someone who could help her and Josh, can't explain how she knew that, just did.”

“Are you going to make them fight--”

“Nah, this is a mostly free will sign on thing. Other than the occasional prophecy and the Slayers. They'll learn enough that they're not a danger to themselves and everyone around them by having that much power and no training beyond that, it's up to them. And really most of the witches don't fight. Rare cases when shielding spells are needed in the field or things like that. Stuff that the spell has to performed on site then they're doing the mojo and the slayers are keeping the baddies away so they can do the mojo. The ones that patrol occasionally fight just like everyone else, not with magic. They're mostly back up and background support.”

“You talk like this is an army or something,” Mikey frowned.

“I was possessed by a soldier Halloween costume once. Spent the entire night running around acting like Rambo.”

“You have a seriously fucked up life,” Frank stared sitting down on the coffee table.

“Yeah, and your point it?”

“Nothin' just sayin'.”





Epilogue—And the Show Goes On


Steven: It's been a while since you guys were here. How have you been?

GW: Good. Busy. Really busy. New album. Well, albums Leathermouth has one too. Getting things ready for the tour. Another comic coming out. Just got done with the video for Monsters.

Steven: The Album is great, and speaking of videos we have the video for Monsters. Be playing that in just a bit. The buzz about this new tour has been around for a while.

GW: It's gonna be great. Going to be a lot of fun. Reggie and the Full Effect, Mindless Self Indulgence and The Dingoes Ate My Baby are going to be out with us.

Steven: You did the art on the Album? And the special limited edition that came with the comic book?

GW: Most of it yeah. Lyn did a bit, too. We all worked on the concept sketches it was a group effort completely of what we wanted it to be.

Steven: You're starting the tour in Cleveland?

GW: Yeah, see some friends there and considering the whole concept of this album was really set off by a wild weekend of strangeness with them it seems appropriate.




pdf of full story plus cover art here