FIC: Jersey Boys and Curses
title: Jersey Boys and Curses
author: lisa roquin
rating: 15
fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer /My Chemical Romance
characters/pairings: Faith, Mikey Way, Matt Cortez, Frank Iero, Ray Toro, Gerard Way, Otter Pelissier, Brian Schechter
disclaimer: all copyrighted characters and their "universes" belong to their respective authors, writers, creators, production companies, producers and long lists of people that are so very much not me. Quite simply, if you recognize it, it isn't mine. No profit made, no harm intended, just having fun. As far as real people go-->lies, fiction, untrue. completely and totally made up. I know no one, know nothing of their personal lives. I make no claims of knowing much of anything.
summary: The first time she meets him, she saves him from being eaten in an alley in Jersey
warning: nothing that you wouldn't see on an ep of BtVS
author's note: for silentflux for the birthday goodies offer
wordcount: 2689




The first time she met him, she saved him from being eaten in an alley in Jersey.

"Wha--was that a vampire?" he asked, kinda dazed and drunk and his glasses, that had seriously coke bottle thick lenses, askew.

She reached and adjusted the glasses on his face, and tried not to gape at the fauxhawk or whatever the hell that was supposed to be that his hair was gelled into. "That was a vampire."

"They're real?"

"Are you going to go into shock?" she asked warily.

He tilted his head. "Nah, don't think I'm sober enough."

She laughed at that. His words were careful, the kind of perfectly enunciated careful of hanging on to not being completely blitzed by a thread. One more beer and it would be slurring, stumbling and probably in no shape to stumble out into an alley to nearly get eaten. He was cute, in a kind of effeminate preying mantis sort of way, all stick thin limbs and big eyes swimming behind those coke bottle glasses.

"C'mon, you got people you're here with?"

"My brother and our band."

She nearly laughs in their faces when she meets them. The little guy with the godawful dreds could probably out hyper Red when she had a couple gallons of espresso in her. Tall guy with kinda kid-chubby cheeks yet and a really stupid looking 'fro that either was in desperate need of being cut or a few more months growing out and a few gallons of conditioner. Mikey's brother was smashed, stumbling slurring drunk and even girlier looking than Mikey. Skinny cutie pie helping them with their shit, and busting the thick necked ox's nose was kinda tempting. He wasn't the tallest--that was Mr.Awkward'fro--but he was the broadest and the most blatantly leering.

"What's your name?"

"Faith," she answered.

~

She saw him again two weeks later in Boston.

"We got to stop meeting like this," she said as the dust settled on the floor of the dark hallway that led to the bar's bathroom.

"I think I'm cursed."

"Seriously?" she raised an eyebrow.

He shrugged.

~

"Okay that does it," She sighed and brushed off the dust on her shoulder. It had been a week since the bar hallway. "You got room for one more in your van? Cause seriously, you're as bad as Xander."

"Xander?"

"Friend from the 'Dale. So. Room for me?"

His little friends stared when he said she was going to ride with them. They shut up when she said she could buy every seventh tank of gas and a meal for all of them on Tuesdays and Fridays.

"She's little like me. She'll fit" Dreadlocks said. "She can like be our second tech, totally."

"Security," Mikey spoke up.

And that was that.

~

"Oh for..." she groaned as the jack decided to give out. She caught the fender, grunted as tie metal cut into her hand. She lifted and gave Matt a dirty look. "Finish changing the tire already." she rolled her eyes as she held the van up enough. Even with the guys and all the equipment inside already, it wasn't exactly light. She was a Slayer, not the Incredible Hulk or something, "Hurry up."

Matt managed to get the tire off and the spare on. Barely. Faith finished tightening the lug nuts.

"How did you do that?"

"You're stoned?" she asked hopefully.

He stared at her a long minute. "Okay," he said in a really small uncertain voice and walked off and headed into the bar. She carried him out to the van when it was time to leave. He hadn't been when he was changing the tire, but by the time they hit the road again, Matt was drunk out of his mind.

~

Matt followed the next time she took Mikey for a walk. It wasn't so much patrol as...with more and more frequency, just let Mikey wander around and vampires would come out of the woodwork to find him.

Vampire Cat Nip on legs. Seriously.

"She's like a superhero," Mikey said as the dust settled.

"Yeah," Matt managed.

Faith rolled her eyes at them.

Two nights later she pried a Succubus off Matt.

~

"Seriously, Red,...Nah. I'm good... Tell G to quit polishing his glasses and sighing. I'm good... Robin...shit, Red, drop it. Do not put me on your want everyone happy and all fixed list okay, please? ...yeah...yeah see if you can come up with a witch. Seriously, it's kinda weird. Nah, nah. Not that big a deal. You're busy. Nah...yeah, five by five, nothin' that big yet. Yeah, talk to you next week."

Mikey handed her a beer. Their set was over. The van loaded back up. Time to relax. Matt sidled up to her other side. Frank was hanging off of Ray's back. Gerard was well on his way to passing out already. Otter --

Well, if he turned up vamp chow, Faith didn't think she'd feel all that bad.

"Red?" Mikey tilted his head.

"Friend. She's gonna look for a witch somewhere where we'll be to see if you guys got your stupid selves cursed and not knowing it. She offered to come check but I got you guys for now, and Uber-Wicca has bigger things to deal with just now."

"Uber Wicca." Matt mumbled.

"Yeah, Cortez, Uber Wicca."

"Huh." Mikey tilted his head the other way and stared a bit more. Faith thought he looked a bit like a bird when he did that.

Faith sipped her beer and listened to the other act play.

"Robin?" Mikey asked.

"Ex."

"Bad?"

"Messy. Lots of yelling and a few holes in walls." Faith shrugged.

~

"Okay now, really, guys. What the hell?" Faith muttered and threw herself at the demon trying to make a snack outta Frankie.

~

In the next week four vamps after Mikey, another succubus pried off Matt, another demon pulled off Frank.

By the time she had to put down the Werewolf that tried to take a bite out of Ray, she was about ready to lose it. Something was seriously up with these guys.

She winced as the werewolf melted back to her human form. Just a girl and probably not more than seventeen. Shit.

Ray passed out.

Faith sighed and hefted him over her shoulder. Gerard blinked at her barked "We're going NOW!" and staggered gaping at Faith carrying Ray over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes or something.

She wasn't anything but relieved when Ray didn't remember a thing of it.

~

It was another three weeks (nineteen vampires, seven succubi and four demons) before they get the name and address of a voodoo priest in New York. The little old guy could be anywhere from sixty to five hundred. Frizzy little afro cropped close to his head and dark skin nothing but lined leather, dark eyes that could made you want to squirm and the hair raise on the back of Faith's neck. Little old guy practiced some serious mojo. She could almost taste it in the air.

"So what's this going to cost?" Faith demanded. The guys standing behind her wide eyed and worried. Along with their manager who Faith had only talked to on the phone up to this point--the band he'd been tour managing off the road so he was with them too. And Brian just sort of got grabbed and hauled along without a clue as to what was the sitch.

"A Slayer." voodoo man stared.

"Red said she told you that when she set this up." Faith said taking a bit more defensive stance and out of the corner of her eye caught Mikey clamping his hand over Brian's mouth.

"You're old."

"Twenty-one. I'm ancient. And I'll fuck up your shit if you screw us over. Now. What's this going to cost to figure out what's the what with the boys?"

~

The guys stood and waited through chanting, insence and being splattered with some kind of blood. Faith didn't ask if it was chicken or dog or people or demon or what. All of them looked terrified and green. Brian looked like he was ready to be sick that his band had gone batshit on him.

There was a curse. It wasn't on Mikey, Matt, Frank, Ray or Gerard. It was on someone near them.

"Otter." they all said.

"He's getting us almost eaten because he got cursed?" Frank shook his head. "So not cool. That's more asshole than he was last night at the show."

Faith resisted the urge to facepalm at that.

"Have you all lost it?" Brian shouted.

"Can you do anything about the curse?"

Voodoo man shook his head. "It's very anti-male. And the caster was very powerful. You need a woman. And one at least as powerful as I am."

"That's doable at least," Faith sighed.

"You're all insane!" Brian yelped.

The little old Voodoo man wanted the vampires holed up in the boiler room of the building taken out. Their hidey hole was heavily warded and he wasn't capable of going after them with a stake. He had taken out the warlock that had thralled them, but the vampires remained and he would like them dusted. There were six of them, all turned within the last five years.

"No prob. Bastard fledges, huh?" Faith asked

Voodoo man nodded.

"We square, then?" she prodded, owing mojo types could be a royal pain and nothing but trouble.

"Yes."

"Cool." Faith smiled.

~

Brian ran his hand through his hair. "Fuck," he murmured then coughed as he breathed in some vampire dust still floating around the room.

The guys all stood watching, a little pale and shaky and spooked because they weren't quite so sanguine with getting up close and personal with vamps, even if they just stood back in a corner and let Faith take care of them.

"Vampires, seriously, I know," Gerard said.

"You know a witch that can uncurse Otter?" Mikey said and tilted his head.

"Red. Soon as she gets a chance. They're in apocalypse mode. If I get grabbed for that, seriously stay in Gerard's room and salt and ward the house 'til I get back."

"Apocalypse," Ray said weakly.

"Yeah, they've been busy. Third one this year."

The guys stared.

"Let's get moving and find the other one. You've got a show in three hours." Faith shook her head. "Red'll come when she can. I won't let you get eaten."

~

Otter passed out on the floor of the single hotel room they had in Philidelphia. No one really was in the mood to bother trying to move him, just stepped over him on the way to the bathroom. The van's engine was screwed and thankfully they had a week off before the next tour to wait on the van to get fixed but really, spending that week piled on top of each other in Philly wasn't anyone's idea of fun.

Faith rolled her eyes and shoved Gerard to the bed, settled him on his side on the edge with the trash can there. She crawled over him and squirmed between him and Mikey. Matt grumbled from the far edge of the bed.

"Go to sleep, Gee." Frank murmured from the other bed.

Faith thought Ray really got the best end of the deal on the bed drawing. With Otter left on the floor he had Frank and Brian sharing the bed with him, and neither of them took up much room. And neither of them were as bony as Mikey or as direly in need of showering as Gerard.

~

"Wow, starting your very own harem there, Faith?" Xander's voice woke her.

"Aww, don't worry, boy toy, always got room for you too." Faith snarked with a yawn and managed to wriggle into a sitting position. "Red." she glared at Willow.

"What are you doing?" Robin snarled.

"Having an orgy, what's it look like, Robin?" Faith snapped.

"Robin? Your ex Robin?" Mikey murmured, half asleep and blinking owlishly.

"Robin's a dude?" Matt stared.

"We thought you were--you know--a lesbian," Frank chirped from the other bed. "Cause Robin? Seriously."

Willow sighed and looked apologetically at Faith. The look said everything. That Robin had to see for himself that she was okay and the cursed guy hadn't gotten her killed. "I brought Xander. And cookies. Andrew made them."

"Yeah, I'm a lot of help," Xander rolled his eye. Xander and Robin came at things too differently to be anything but allies. They'd manage just fine when it was patrol, or apocalypse or whatever, but Xander being much help at keeping either Robin or Faith calm. Not.

"He's got a point, Red," Faith snorted.

"Cookies? Peanut butter chocolate chip," Willow said hopefully.

"Hand 'em over," Faith demanded. "Did he make any for the rabbit?"

A huge tupperware with about twelve dozen cookies appeared on Faith's lap, a smaller with a dozen or so cookies on top of that.

"Here, rabbit boy," Faith tossed the smaller tupperware carefully at Frank.

"COOKIES!" Frank squealed.

Brian rubbed his hand over his face. "It's too fucking early for this shit. Did they appear out of fucking thin air too?"

"Yeah," Faith said around a mouth full of cookie.

"Of course," Ray managed weakly around a huge yawn.

"So, is that the one that can uncurse Otter's stupid ass?" Matt wanted to know.

"Yeah." Faith nodded. "That's Brian, Ray, Frank, Gerard, Mikey, Matt, Otter's the one on the floor over there."

"Is that the curse? Or did you clock him one?" Xander asked.

"Nah, he's still passed out from last night, tonight whatever. Guys, that Willow, Xander and Robin." Faith said.

Willow wrinkled her nose.

"Yeah. Not a wonder he got cursed," Faith shrugged. "You up to warding the dumb lug from getting cursed again?"

Willow nodded.

Gerard roused at the crackle of magic in the air, that was really hard to ignore. "Don't fuckin' eat em all. Save me some." he muttered and stumbled to the bathroom, carefully edging around Otter to get there.

"Okay, done. He's uncursed and they're all warded so they won't get cursed." Willow said.

"That's it," Frank stared. "That old guy was like chanting and insence and shit. She just stood there."

"Senior Citizen Voodoo Priest versus Uber Wicca way of things," Faith shrugged.

"You--" Robin glared.

"Don't. Even. Robin," Faith glared.

"Fine," he snapped.

"Uh Wills, let's get out of here before things get loud?" Xander suggested with a worried note in his voice.

"Yeah," Willow agreed. "Talk to you soon."

"Yeah, see ya," Faith nodded

Ray made a high nervous noise and stared where they'd disappeared.

"Have a cookie," Mikey said and tossed one that bounced off Ray's nose and landed in his lap.

"These are really good," Ray said a moment later.

"Andrew makes killer cookies," Faith agreed.

When Otter roused himself an hour later, he griped there was nothing left but crumbs and where the hell had they gotten cookies anyway?

~

"Is that seriously going to work?" Brian cornered her later that day.

"Yeah. She's a powerhouse. She doesn't need the bells and whistles, she just kinda wants it to happen and it does. At least as far as simple stuff like this. Otter's curse is broken, so no more curse trying to kill the guys." Otter's ex was ticked he took off with the band and left her behind or had screwed around while with the band or something. So while the curse was on Otter, it hit the guys--ruining, killing the band. "And seriously, they're pretty well completely screwed if something breaks a protection warding Willow cast to curse them. Have to be a big league demon or something."

"That's--"

She shrugged. "You get used to it."

"When you said you were ancient?"

"Most Slayers are fifteen when they're Called. Half of them don't see sixteen. Only the good ones manage to see eighteen. I'm ancient for a Slayer." Faith shrugged.

Brian paled a little. "So--"

"I fight demons. I'm gonna slip or be hurt and something else is going to win one of these days. Way it works."

"You sticking around for this next tour?"

"Yeah. Unless the world's going to end and they need me."


to the sequel Heroes & Happy Endings