InsaneJournal

FIC: Uncertainty--MCR--Matt/Brian, 15
title: Uncertainty
author: lisa roquin
rating: 15ish?
fandom: mcr
pairing/characters: Brian Schechter/Matt Cortez
disclaimer: lies, fiction, untrue. completely and totally made up. I know no one, know nothing of thier personal lives. I make no claims of knowing much of anything.
author notes: music/fic meme prompt Matt Cortez/anyone-earthquake
song: Hold On Loosely by 38 special.
word count: 1300



Goddamn it. He was going to beat the idiot if he was okay.

Matt swallowed and stared at the TV. Okay, it wasn't that bad of a quake, not really. Some damage, a couple sinkholes, one ate a multi million dollar house that was empty at least. Some down lines and broken water mains, power outtages, shit like that, but no major injuries or deaths really being reported. Even the watermains and power outtages were fairly minimal all things considered. Southern California was as able to withstand 4somethings as they could be. It wasn't all that uncommon the biggest oh god factor of it all was the quake struck during the morning rush hour. The news coverage was mostly because of the sinkhole that ate some A-list actor's house--though no one was there, with the actor being out of the country filming and the gardener and maid that went out and kept up the house a couple times a week weren't out there either so.

That didn't make a goddamn bit of difference when the epicenter was like fifteen miles from Brian's fucking house and Brian wasn't fucking answering his phone. He'd tried four times in the last two hours since this broke and texted a half dozen more.

And...

"HEY!" Gerard called out coming from the back of the bus, he'd been in the studio with Ray. "Bri just called he's good, he hasn't gotten back to his house yet to see what the damage there might be but he's good. He was on his way back from a show in Vegas.

"Good." Frank said relieved.

"I-- I'm gonna go crash." Matt said and headed for his bunk.

"What's with you?" Gerard frowned.

Matt ignored him.

"Leave him alone, Gee, he hasn't been sleeping well." Bob spoke up.

Matt ignored that too.

He was so fucking pissed he was nearly shaking. He clenched his fists as he curled up in the bunk. He wanted to fucking punch the dumb son of a bitch. He hadn't answered the calls, hadn't sent an I'm okay text. He fucking called GERARD. Punching Gerard since Gerard was here and Brian wasn't was kind of tempting too and even more irrational.

It wasn't supposed to be anything. It wasn't.

Hell the first few times they'd hooked up had been back when Bri was still using and fuck, it was debateable if Bri remembered half of it. A few other times over the years.

Then...whatever the hell about six months ago. And maybe three times since when Bri had been out and...Matt didn't even know what the hell. Too good of friends to be just sex, and the last time Bri had stumbled around and maybe--Matt really wasn't sure, he wasn't he'd barely been awake and Brian had been gone, having to go, get to the airport before he really had the chance to process or comprehend what the hell Brian had said, ending up with "Give me your answer when I'm out next." That had been a week ago, and Matt had tried to call a few times, texts and emails had been ignored as well. Not that he'd tried too hard. Brian was so fucking spooky about anything resembling a relationship and Matt knew Bri's history enough to not blame him but GODDAMN. That he wanted to get the answer to his bomb face to face, Matt could respect that. Didn't have to like it much but--this. Matt was going to wring his neck.

The little fucker knew Matt hated mind games and being played as much as Brian hated answering to anyone for shit.

Matt grabbed his phone from his pocket and angrily poked at the keypad.

You fucking asshole.

I didn't know if you'd want to talk to me came back three minutes later.

Are. You. Fucking. Stupid?!

Yes?

They had a four day break coming up, that night's show and the next, then the break.

His break was going to be spent in California, kicking a scrawny little ass.

His phone vibrated a moment later.

"Yeah,"

"You're pissed I called Gee?" Brian asked quietly.

"I only tried four times to call you, dumb ass, kinda, yeah. Especially after all that crap you dumped on me and ran out like a fucking coward." Matt whispered.

"I don't --fuck."

"Uh huh. See you the day after tomorrow. We've got four days of nothing. I'm flying out."

"Matt--"

"The answer is yes, Bri, the same as it would have been four years ago."

"I'm sorry."

"I know. I get it. But goddamn the quake was in your fucking backyard and I didn't know you weren't home, none of us did." Matt managed in a strangled voice. "It's not answering to someone when shit happens and to say hey I'm all right. I don't care where you were--I know you. You're straight up enough and you fucking asked to make a go, exclusive just us. So you weren't anywhere screwing around. I know that. I know you have shit you do and travel.. I was fucking terrified. Some shit fell off the wall and cracked your skull open or something and you were there unconcious or bleeding to death or dead or some shit and no one would find you for a few days and fuck man. Just care that you were okay not where the fuck you were or what you were doing. Do you get the difference?"

"You've been watching too much Gilmore Girls with Ray and too many horror movies with Mikey, Frank and Gee."

"I'm stuck on a bus with them. What do you expect? Do you get the fucking difference?"

"Yeah. Old habits."

"Please try to break them at least temporarily when there's a fucking earthquake in your backyard. Please."

"I'm sorry."

"It's--it's okay just spooked."

"See you in a couple days?"

"I'll just get a cab from the airport..."

"Okay--got the key? I don't know where I'll be depends when you get in. Be in town and heading home but--use it."

"Yeah." he'd had the key to Brian's place in LA for almost a year now. Since Brian had gotten moved into it. Spare for someone in case of emergency, both Matt and Bob had a key. Brian had a key to Matt's place as well. Nothing that was ever used in context of whatever the hell they'd been doing and what it was turning into. Simply an emergency spare key.

*

Brian awoke to the sound of footsteps and his bedroom door opening further.

"Matt?"

"Yeah. Managed a red eye after the show." Matt murmured and dropped his bag toed off his shoes and moved toward the bed.

Brian glanced at the clock on the nightstand. "I don't have to be up for another two hours."

"Sounds good to me." Matt tugged off his shirt, undid his jeans and shoved them off. He climbed into the bed and pulled Brian into his arms.

"If you think you're fucking sleeping, you're the stupid one out of the two of us." Brian grumbled when Matt seemed settled down to do just that.

Matt snorted and fought the smile as Brian shifted and pinned him to the bed.

"Place looks like shit." Matt said.

"Structural got checked yesterday, seems to be okay, just broken glass and shit shook around."

"Just let me know you're not broke and shook around with the glass and shit next time, okay?"

"Yeah, I can do that." Brian murmured. "If you're going to worry."

"I'm gonna worry."

"Okay." Brian said uncertainly. Matt lifted his head just enough to kiss Brian. The only advantage they had to making this work was that they knew each other too well, had for too long, and knew each other's brand of fucked up. They'd be okay, or kill each other. But Matt was willing to find out which it turned out to be.