InsaneJournal

Crackfic: With Bonus Pterodactyl-- MCR/Torchwood 15ish
title With Bonus Pterodactyl
author: lisa roquin
fandom: MCR/Torchwood
rating crack, 15ish
pairing/characters: Mikey Way/Jack Harkness
disclaimer: lies, fiction, untrue. completely and totally made up. I know no one, know nothing of their personal lives. I make no claims of knowing much of anything. Nor are any copyrighted character's mine.
summary: There’s a list of things to do someday, Frank declared it covered all of them, including Matt because he was there when it was made. Visiting a Secret Underground Lair can now be checked off.
warning: if the header above this hasn’t scared you off, nothing will.
author notes: one for the don’t even ask files.
word count: 1701





“C’mon, It’ll be fun.”

He really should have known he was going to be completely screwed by those words. Ray, Brian and Matt seemed to be mirroring his thinking as well. Hell, even Frank and Gerard were looking a little concerned.

The thing was, Mikey asked. Mikey didn’t ask for much, not really. He was more the type that had to be watched because he wandered off either following something shiny and sparkly or somewhere so far in his head that he had no clue where he was going or what he was doing and where his feet had led him. He was a lot like Gerard in that. It was just you noticed Gerard wandering off first because Gerard, well, was Gerard. You noticed the lack of presence because Gerard generally found a way to make himself known. Mikey was quieter and trailed behind, and when you glanced behind Gerard and suddenly noticed Mikey wasn’t there–that was generally when you were completely and totally screwed because Mikey could find more trouble without any effort than Gerard, Frank and Pete Wentz combined.

Mikey wanted them to go with him to visit someone he’d met the last time the band was in Cardiff. Bob had been with them working sound. They all but Gerard remembered the frantic search for Mikey at ten in the morning, the buses ready to leave, Gerard dragged onto the bus by Ray and Frank still stoned out of his gourd on fuck knew what and no Mikey anywhere to be found.

Mikey had finally shown up at eleven, smiling and a little dazed, hickeys on his neck, a scrape on his arm, his walk a little slow and off kilter. He’d giggled to himself for a week and murmured odd little disbelief-tinged comments that didn’t make any sense. He’d also developed one hell of a fascination for time travel and aliens that preoccupied him for months. Though, Bob had to admit, that last probably wasn’t as strange as it might be considering the number of comics and massive amounts of sci-fi movies and books that cluttered the bus along with games and Gerard’s art supplies.

“Mikey, where are we going?” Gerard finally demanded after they’d been wandering around the plaza for forty minutes, pretty much in circles as Mikey tilted his head and looked here and there trying to remember. Remember what, the little shit wouldn’t say.

“Right here. Everyone on here.”

“What?” Ray stared.

“This one. This square, everyone on it.” Mikey said with an excited expression.

They crowded on the square of pavement skeptically, all getting more than a little worried that it might be time for Mikey to take another break from touring.

Mikey’s grin widened as he reached in his pocket for a watch and fiddled with it.

“MIKEY, WHAT THE FUCK!” Gerard shouted as the pavement began to move downward.

Bob grabbed Frank and Brian, Brian in danger of losing his balance and falling caught unaware and on the edge of the square, his back being scraped by the short bit of tunnel like area before there was nothing but open air around them as they moved down. Frank, well, simply because it seemed like a wise precautionary move. Ray and Matt seemed to have the same idea. Ray grabbed onto Gerard and held him tight. Matt grabbed Mikey who was grinning like a fucking loon.

He should have known better. They all should have known better. Mikey had asked though. And maybe they should have thought it a little stranger that Mikey wanted to go see his friend in Cardiff at two in the damned morning but hell, like any of them knew what a normal schedule was, and if this friend worked in the business, at a club or in a band, well then the hour wouldn’t be that odd.

The sound that tore through the air had all their eyes widening.

“Mikey, what was that?” Matt asked.

“Myfanwy. Jack’s pterodactyl.”

“Your friend has a pterodactyl?” Gerard stared incredulous.

“Are you fucking stoned?” Ray gaped.

The sound tore through the air again. Alien and screechy and big and kind of bird like.

“Pterodactyl,” Frank swallowed, with an expression that would have been comical any other time, his eyes wide enough to rival any anime character’s and his jaw a little slack.

“Yeah, she’s awesome.” Mikey grinned.

*

“JACK!” Tosh called out staring at the monitor.

“What, Tosh?” Jack wandered over as he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand in an attempt to stave off the building headache.

“We have company,” she ignored the monitor in favor of the lift now coming into clear sight.

“This is interesting.”

“Your amnesia drug didn’t work,” a laughing male, American voice called out.

Tosh squinted she decided they were all male, just a couple of them exceptionally, unfairly pretty, and a couple of them exceptionally tiny.

“AMNESIA DRUG!” the one pretty one shouted. “HE FUCKING DRUGGED YOU, MIKEY? YOU DRUGGED MY BROTHER YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH?”

“Easy, Gee, it’s okay. You’ve got to expect something like that with time/space continuum rifts and aliens.”

The screech tore through the air.

“And fucking pterodactyls.” one of the little one’s muttered looking up toward the shadows of the hub’s ceiling.

The one who Jack had evidently attempted to dose with Ret-con jumped off the lift before it stopped, nearly knocking the man who’d tried to hold onto him off. That one caught by the blonde and the frizzy haired tall one.

“MIKEY!!!” the prettiest one screeched as –well, Mikey it seemed– grabbed Jack with a wicked grin and snogged him half senseless.

“You’ve grown up, and no glasses.”

“It’s been five years, and lasik.”

“Mmm–“ Jack glared past Mikey. “You really shouldn’t have.”

“They’re cool, and I doubt the amnesia drug works on them either.” Mikey smiled. “It’s okay. Besides, Gee could write all about Myfanwy and they’d eat it up as some huge metaphorical god knows what.”

The one little one choked. “God knows that’s true.”

The other little one giggled. “Fans might get a little weirded out. Singing about vampires is one thing, but pterodactyls.”

“Singing?” Tosh frowned.

“We’re a band.” Mikey grinned. “At least me, Gerard, Frank, Bob and Ray. Brian’s our manager he’s out for this leg of the tour though and Matt’s one of our techs he’s been with us pretty much since we were big enough to have techs.”

*

“You could have left me at the hotel with Worm,” Matt said as he looked around.

“We are totally blaming you when Worm finds us.” Ray declared. “Fucking pterodactyls and amnesia drugs...”

“You drugged my brother!” Gerard growled pulling away from Ray and stalking toward Mikey and the guy he was latched onto.

“Jack, this is my big brother Gerard. Gee, Captain Jack Harkness.”

“YOU DRUGGED MY BROTHER!”

“Get over it, Gee.”

“He drugged you and–“

*

“Grew up?” Ianto demanded sharply from the shadows. “Jack, what do you mean, grew up?

“Mikey’s twenty-seven.” Gerard waved dismissively at Ianto. “YOU DRUGGED MY BROTHER.”

“Only so he forgot about all this.” Jack defended himself his voice not quite sounding normal as Mikey shifted against him.

“That really worked well,” Brian snorted.

“It’s Mikey, what do you expect?” Frank pointed out.

“He’s got a point there, Brian.” Ray agreed.

Mikey turned just a bit in Jack’s arms and gave them a slightly petulant glare. Myfanwy swooped down low over the group to investigate the newcomers, circling a little.

“That’s a fucking pterodactyl, Mikey!” Bob gaped.

“Isn’t she awesome?”

“Totally,” Gerard agreed. “She’s fucking amazing, Mikes.”

*

“You really, really shouldn’t have” Jack repeated, unable to stop the tilt back of his head as Mikey nuzzled at his neck, despite the fact he had uninvited guests staring at Myfanwy. He really should probably do something about that and probably something about his gaping team. Or at least steer Mikey to his office and close the blinds.

“I couldn’t resist. And I wanted to see you again. I wouldn’t have brought them if they were going to be any trouble for you. I promise.”

Jack believed that, it was Mikey’s ability to gage what would be trouble and what wouldn’t that had him concerned even as his hand slid down to cup Mikey’s ass and press him a little closer.

“He drugs you and you come back to visit and grind on him.” Gerard snapped exasperated. “Jesus, Mikey.”

“He’s fucking amazing in bed, and I get what he meant to do. It’s cool.”

“Hey, at least it isn’t Gabe again.” Frank offered.

Gerard snorted.

“Gabe?” Jack murmured. “Should I be worried about a jealous boyfriend?”

“Gabe Saporta, Cobra Starship’s lead singer and no. That was years ago. And just partying.”

“Yeah, if anyone would fall in jealous ex-boyfriend it would be Pete, but he’s with Ashlee so...”

“Pete? Ashlee?” Tosh prompted even as she googled Cobra Starship and Gabe Saporta.

“Pete Wentz from Fall Out Boy and Ashlee Simpson.”

“Oh god, Mikey at least get a room! I don’t want to watch you.” Gerard rolled his eyes.

“Tough it. How much did we all have to suffer watching you and Bert make out–And Bert McCracken from the Used.” Mikey answered Tosh before she could form the question and broke off into a groan smothered by Jack’s mouth.

Bob shook his head as the pterodactyl made another loop, he automatically reached his hands behind himself to catch Frank’s legs as Frank climbed his back for a bit higher view of the thing. “Well, I guess visiting a secret underground lair can be taken off you guys’ ’things I want to do someday list’ ” Bob managed. That list was scary. There was just one list, but it served for all six of them, or so Frank declared, and had been compiled by a very very bored trio consisting of Frank, Gerard and MIkey when they’d been stuck by the weather somewhere a couple years back while Ray Matt and Bob had played Mario Kart and been stuck getting opinions asked.

“With bonus pterodactyl,” Frank said staring as Myfanwy made another circle.

“With bonus pterodactyl,” Bob agreed.