InsaneJournal

FIC: Warlocks, Werewolves, Where's the Whiskey?
title: Warlocks, Werewolves, Where’s the Whiskey?
author: lisa roquin
rating: 15
fandom: Supernatural/ BtVS
series/sequel: Faith Winchester
characters/pairings: Faith, Dean, Sam, Xander/Andrew, Bobby, Ash
disclaimer: all copyrighted characters and their "universes" belong to their respective authors, writers, creators, production companies, producers and long lists of people that are so very much not me. Quite simply, if you recognize it, it isn't mine. No profit made, no harm intended, just having fun.
summary: explanations = headaches more or less
warning:
author's note: Veers off SPN canon early S2. This was intended for Twistedshorts August Fic-A-Day event, and was never posted in the distractychaos that is my life. Was intended as a series of interconnected shorts but who knows.
wordcount: 2984




“There’s only one,” Bobby frowned.

“You’re outta the loop. Been two for years, thanks to a round of CPR Buffy got resuscitated, but that called Kendra, and when Kendra was killed by Drusilla, Faith was called.” Xander corrected. “And the whole thing got a reboot and reshuffled about five apocalypses ago.”

“Five-APOCALYPSES,” Dean yelped.

“Yeah, May and June are always a bitch. Height of Apocalypse season. Kick off the summer with a helluva bang, or just hell,” Xander snorted.

Ash eyed Xander. “I’ve found some legends, lost a couple computers to some strange viruses too. One site that’s always good for some info even if the freaks on it act like they’re wanting the demons to win-“

“And...”

“La Boca Del Infierno”

“Most active at the moment is downtown Cleveland.”

“The mouth of hell is in Cleveland,” Sam stared.

“The what?”

“La Boca Del Infierno, the mouth of hell. Hellmouth.”

“You like some big book guy?” Dean glared at Xander. That didn’t fit, didn’t seem at all right. The guy was a hunter. Like Dean. But he wasn’t quite willing to take the big dopey grin and aw shucks attitude that had settled Ellen a bit at face value.

“Look give 'em the whole world is older than anyone knows, started as a hell dimension, the happy meals on legs staged a revolution and the Slayer spiel. I’m not going to get a decent fight tonight, and the only guys I see in here that look like they’d be any sort of decent for a roll in the sheets are these three. And that’s out.” Faith said to Bobby.

Dean choked and stared at Faith with his jaw hanging down-he and Sam were both included in the “these three”. “Watch your mouth!”

“Oh, you’re not bad, you’re just...a grown up Andrew without a need for ritalin and that’s just wrong, sorry” Faith flashed a grin at Ash. “C’mon, Boy Toy, I wanna dance.”

Xander groaned but allowed himself to be pulled from the booth they’d settled in upon reentering the bar.

“Council going to help?”

“No.” Xander said flatly. “They can’t.”

“Why not?” Dean demanded.

“There’s things that can’t be risked. Things thought destroyed and it has to stay that way. It’s one clan. And not many of the clan left. Few dozen tops. Personal Vendetta. They’ll quit when we wipe em out, or the four of us our dead. Escalating it into full out war is too dangerous. Too much at risk.” Xander said tightly dark eye boring into Dean’s. “The last set of protectors of a couple things that could destroy a few dozen universes royally fucked up. Leave it at that.”

“Four of us? Just the four of us?”

“We don’t go after their allies. Ours stay out of the way and don’t get in the fight. They’ve got their ...rules of engagement. Like I said it’s vendetta now, not general mayhem and eyeball munching. Only way we’re really screwed is they’re magic-users. Not all of them, but the ability runs in them and we don’t know for sure what they have as far as mojo goin’. Don’t worry too much, if they get us, you two will be dead fast. You’re incidentals to make sure the line’s ended. Faith even, she’s a Slayer.”

“And you?”

“They’ll kill me. Eventually. If we don’t kill them first. I’d rather kill them first.”

Faith snorted. “If you’re lucky, Boy Toy, maybe they’ll castrate you to make sure the line’s ended with you and hold an auction to sell you off to the highest bidder.”

“Nah. Not unless they’re in serious shit debt to something else I’ve pissed off. Or D’Hoffryn tried to claim dibs. He’s still pissed Ahn and Hallie got redemption.”

“Ahn and Hallie?”

“Anyanka and Halfrek”

“Enough, DANCE!” Faith growled dragging a pained looking Xander away from the table. Sam had the impression the one eyed man would much rather stay and sit through being bombarded with questions.

Sam listened to Bobby’s explanations. Their sister was twenty-two. Most girls like her didn’t see seventeen.

Dean’s demands for explanation were lost as he caught sight of the pair dancing in front of the now-blaring jukebox...and Sam noted Faith’s taste in music was as loud and hard as Dean’s.

“He’s-Oh he is a dead man.”

Sam followed Dean’s gaze. Damn. That...that was..so wrong on so many levels that he was gaping at his sister dancing like that. That...that was grounds for arrest for public indecency in most states.

Bobby stared a long moment then cleared his throat turning his attention back to Dean, Sam and Ash telling them what he knew about Slayers, knowing he’d be repeating it all for Ellen and Jo later when the bar was closed.

Dean was startled when the blonde kid plopped himself down. “Those’re Xander and Faith’s bags. I’m with them. You have to be Faith’s brothers.”

“Ye-ah..who the hell are you?” Dean demanded.

“Andrew.”

Bobby choked and picked up his tale, eyeing the kid.

“ANDREW!!” Xander bellowed when he and Faith made their way back to the table. “Go. Home.”

“No! You need me! And it’s not like I have any family for them to kill off.”

“Geek boy!” Faith growled, grabbing Andrew by the shirt front and dragging him out the back door of the road house.

Dean was on his feet to follow in an instant. Sam a step behind him, barely noticing Bobby and Ash following.

“No way in HELLS, Andrew!” Xander was bellowing.

“You need a witch! Their clan has a couple big time magic users left!”

“Witch!” Dean yelped.

“Actually Warlock.” Andrew said “I was born on a hellmouth, major dark arts affinities and you need me!”

“ANDREW!”

“If I put you in traction then you’ll be sidelined good, Geek Boy! X-man and I are expendable, you aren’t!”

“She’s right, Andrew, damn you’re in the top twenty most powerful Warlocks alive! If not in the past few centuries! NO! Not to mention the Geek part NO!”

“You could release me from the geis and I could build another freeze ray and then all we’d have to do is take a sledge hammer and smash em to bits.”

“No no no no comic book weapons, Andrew”

“Aw c’mon! My freeze ray was even cooler than Mr. Freeze’s!”

“ANDREW!”

“I’ll be quiet and I won’t bounce much and I can help.”

“ANDREW NO!!!”

“I’m helping. You need me. I’m not going back to the Council. I’ll hunt them on my own. Giles said I could go with you! It was the only way he kept Willow out of it. And Willow and Kennedy both have family left that couldn’t hold their own against Harmony Kendall!”

“Who’s Harmony Kendall?”

“Vampire minion, very dumb vampire minion. Went to school with her.”

“You went to school with a vampire minion?” Sam repeated incredulously.

“She didn’t get vamped til a couple months after graduation.”

“I’m. Helping.”

“No you’re not! Damn it, Andrew!” Xander snarled.

“Whoa, dude,” Dean gasped reaching for the gun in his waistband even as his sister moved to block the shot he wanted to take-at the self-admitted Warlock who just created a fireball and threw it into the ground. “You’re protecting him,” Dean snarled incredulously when his baby sister was standing in front of him blocking his shot.

“IT’S ANDREW!” Faith shouted right back at Dean.

“He’s got some sorta control over you move he’s-“

“The most evil thing about Andrew is his cookies! You can’t stop eating them.”

Sam gaped as the Warlock who’d been arguing with the one-eyed hunter and throwing fireballs into the ground having...a temper tantrum was now hiding behind Xander.

“Faith, back up,” Xander said quietly eyeing Dean. “You’re not hurting Andrew.”

“He’s-he’s a warlock! He’s evil!”

“He’s Andrew,” Faith snorted.

“Andrew isn’t evil. Saying Andrew’s evil because he was born with an ability most don’t have is like saying Sam’s evil, you idiot.”

“Who are you calling an idiot! And Sam’s not evil!”

“Xander, I’m staying.”

“Andrew.”

“I’m staying. You need a magic user. You need someone who can handle the research. You-“

“Oh will you just...kiss and make up you two. Xan...damn it...Andrew, he’s being the freaking White Knight in protector mode not... think Red’s got the right idea, should see if the blonde at the bar is interested in hoppin the fence for a night.”

“Not leavin’ you, Xan, safer I’m with you than with the others anyway- if they decide I’m a target any how and catch sight of..”

Sam watched Xander almost slump in defeat and pull Andrew into his arms..

“Guess that explains why you’re not after our baby sister,” Dean muttered dumbly as Xander kissed Andrew half stupid.

Faith took three steps toward Dean shoved her hand flat out against his chest knocking him back flat on his ass before stalking back into the bar.

“She’s a Slayer, if a Slayer doesn’t know evil wouldn’t know who would” Bobby said, staring and more than a little dumbfounded by the exchange. A warlock of that amount of power, one who was making fireballs so easily working with a Slayer. What was next? Vampires?

Xander made a strangled noise.

“Whatever, he goes evil I shoot him.”

“He goes evil-I’ll shoot him,” Xander said quietly. Dean nodded slowly, the truth of it in the other man’s eye.

~*~

“She’s flirting with Jo!” Dean blurted when they reentered the bar.

“Uh-she pretty much said that was her plan. Red is a friend of ours. She’s one hell of a witch. Her last girlfriend was a witch and her current girlfriend is a Slayer too.”

“Why is the council hanging her out to dry? And you?” Bobby demanded.

“They’re not.” Xander shook his head. “I told you, there’s reasons. If they could, they would. Big pictures and all that crap.”

“Willow and Buffy are pissed. Giles put a geis on them before they knew what was going on.” Andrew added. “They get why they can’t, but they’re still pissed.”

“Anyanka, Patron Saint of Scorned Women,” Ash stared at the lap top he’d gone to fetch rather than watch the scene in back, the name had been bothering him.

“Yeah, that’s Ahn.” Xander grinned. “Born Aud Eimersdotter eleven, twelve hundred years ago. Caught her sister with her betrothed made a deal with D’Hoffryn. Thought evisceration and castration were pillow talk, and terrified of bunnies.” Xander smiled fondly. “She died helping to stop the First Evil....The First was the apocalypse that really reshuffled the slayer order and a lot of the balance. Almost back to the status quo though.”

“She’s. Flirting. With. Jo.” Dean repeated his eyes still on his sister.

“Andrew, what did you do?” Xander suddenly demanded as Andrew squirmed yet again.

“Our Expedition’s outside. If they have a place to park their car while we hunt these things.”

“Andrew...”

Andrew’s expression was a strange mix of excited-eager and guilty cringing.

“Aw, crap, Geek Boy?” Faith said coming back to the table with a tray of bottles. The men all grabbing for a beer.

“We have an expedition that. Andrew. Brought.”

“Willow helped. And she’s the one that sent me and it. You know I’m no good with teleportation spells.”

“Teleportation spells?”

Ash looked up from his computer a minute. “Teleportation spells? Just how strong of a witch is this woman?”

“Red?” Faith snorted. “She kicked a Hellgoddess’ ass.”

~*~

Dean’s head was swimming by the time they left the roadhouse. It wasn’t from too many drinks, hell he could have used a few more. Andrew’s babble at Ash’s computer, and then producing his own lap top...which Sam had then had to go get his. And the comparison of bookmarks, and programs, and laptops enhanced by magic spells...And the database program Ash had such a hardon for was designed by a werewolf the witch who kicked a hellgoddess’ ass used to date. Said werewolf was either touring with his band or in Tibet with monks-they didn’t remember.

There were differences though in types of werewolves and vampires. And...

Dean’s head just hurt. The vampires they’d ran into were evidently nosferatu and nearly extinct, the ones that Slayers dealt with were Vampyr, and much worse. Demonic, stronger, and in general nastier.

Dean didn’t know what the hell to think of Faith sharing a room with the other two guys, granted two beds in that room just like this room...but damn it. He just found out he had a little sister and he didn’t like her out of his sight when there was something hunting her. She was their baby sister damn it! She shouldn’t be sharing a room with two strange guys. One who used to date people named Cordelia and Anya-which didn’t sound all that guy like despite the freaking warlock that threw fireballs into the dirt-oh and baked evil-can’t-stop-eating cookies according to Faith..

Bobby had snarled and muttered about the Council leaving slayers to sink or swim and get killed when they were inconvenient. Faith, Xander and Andrew all swore up and down there’d been a change in Council Operating procedures, by way of most of the Tweed Assholes getting wiped out a few apocalypses back. Dean didn’t like it since it was his sister being left to fend for herself, but she had them for back up-and the one-eyed guy who had women-named exes and the cookie baking freaking warlock geek. These damn demons were going after innocents. Not just the ones that had whatever mystical superpowers to fight the damn things-which he didn’t like really because they were girls, and seventeen and eighteen year old girls at that, but he and Sam had been even younger. It was the younger siblings and parents and..people who had no part in the fight, innocents...which yeah, that’s what demon’s did, but ..

God his head hurt.

And his baby sister was in the next room with two guys, after hitting on Jo half the night, and even eyeballing Ash a bit. Ash had been properly threatened with a hunting knife when Faith went back to the bathroom. Cause just...no. Dr. Bad Ass could find some action other than Dean’s baby sister.

His baby sister who split when she was eleven? What the hell reason could an eleven year old have to run away from home? Anything he could think of was enough to make him want to puke so he was decidedly not thinking of it. And then end up fighting demons when she was thirteen...And what the hell was the “that was the year you were in a coma” and Jail! JAIL! Their baby sister had did time in the California state prison evidently. Or at least that was the impression he got. And she’d been married. And widowed. And the again, the whole “oh that was a few apocalypses ago”...His baby sister.
“Dean?”

“She shoulda been with us, Sammy.” Dean growled. No matter how much Sam wanted to argue their childhood was screwed up, they’d had each other, and they’d had their dad-and again, despite Sam’s issues with lack of normal, their dad had raised them to survive, to manage what they had to. Whatever Sam wanted to say about their childhood, neither one of them had ever once considered living on the streets better than what they had. Not even Sam could argue how the were raised was worse than whatever had their little sister living on the freaking streets at all of eleven.

Sam nodded. Faith, Faith hadn’t had normal, being with them, she would’ve at least had him and Dean looking out for her, not on her own completely.

“And Bobby’s bullshit about her being fucking ancient for a whatever uh uh! Not buyin that crap because we ain’t losin her, Sam.”

Sam nodded again, an equally determined look in his eyes.

“And he would lecture my ass about condoms!” Dean snarled.

Sam reached for his brother, squeezing Dean’s shoulder. “She’s got us now. And whatever the hell the story is exactly she’s got Xander and Andrew too.”

Dean snorted.

“We’re stayin’ with her, Sammy.” Dean said low and dangerously, daring his brother to argue with that.

“Goddamn right we are.” Sam agreed tightly, and both of them prepared to agrue with their baby sister until she was convinced of that as well.

Dean stared at the dark ceiling. “Shoulda gotten a bottle of whiskey to go.” he muttered.

“Too late now, sleep Dean.” Sam’s voice drifted from the other bed.

~*~

“Faith. Sleep. Long drive tomorrow.” Xander groaned coming out of the bathroom drying his hair. “Andrew...put that away. You’ll be sleeping with Faith if you don’t get that laptop outta bed in about 2 seconds.”

Faith snorted as Andrew shut things down with record speed. “Gee thanks, Geek Boy.”

Andrew stuck his tongue out. “If you mock me, you have to cook your own meals.”

“Okay, now that’s evil, next time my brother tries to shoot you I might let him.” Faith shot back.

Xander eyed her worried.

“They’re good guys, aren’t they?”

Xander nodded. “Yeah, they sure seem to be.”

Faith caught her bottom lip in her teeth for a split second, the vulnerable flicker through her eyes quickly pushed down, lip released in a blink.

“They want you, Faith,” Xander said quietly. “I don’t think you’re ever getting rid of them. Going to have two tall glaring shadows ruining all your chances at some action.”

Faith snorted, but clung tightly for a second when Xander hugged her.

“Get some sleep. It’s gonna be a long day tomorrow.”

Faith stared up at the ceiling wishing she’d taken the bottle of Jack that Jo had offered her. Brothers. Damn.

She wondered if they could actually fight or were just talking shit, these things weren’t some damn poltergeist some salt and holy water and Latin or whatever would take care of.

“Go to sleep, Faith,” was grumbled from the other bed.