InsaneJournal

Current mood:	cranky
Entry tags:	fic: series of unapocalyptic events, harry potter

A Series of (mostly) Un-Apocalyptic Events--BtVS/HP 8/?
full header & previous parts:
an unexpected meeting || unusual conversations || un-imaginary friends and places, really || unlikely coincidence || unplanned vacation || unsanctioned dragon(s) pt1 || unsanctioned dragon(s) pt 2 || unhappy dragons and people


~unrepentent stubbornness and unapologetic smart alecs

Ron groaned. Wakefield. Bloody wonderful. As if this mess wasn't bad enough without Wakefield. He wasn't sure what had happened before he'd returned to Hogsmeade, but by the look of things it had been chaos.

"Natalia! NO!" Kafu growled even as he moved forward to help the pair of redheads lower Xander to the ground. "Wolfgang, restorative draught please."

"What's wrong with him?"

"Over-exertion is all." Kafu shook his head.

George's eyebrow went up as the large black man simply shifted Xander into a mostly sitting position, pinched his nose and poured the draught down his throat until Xander began to choke and splutter.

"Tastes like elephant piss," Xander muttered groggily and less than happily

"Next time I might use that," Kafu snorted. "You will live to aggravate another day."

"Yay me. Do I get spared the stupid lecture? I've got a headache."

"I don't know. What did you do stupid?"

"Evidently playing follow-along teleporty is illegal here. You shoulda told me that cause then I woulda made em make a teleporty rope or something. That and the stupid little dragon decided to find me again."

"Dragons are intelligent and amazing creatures."

"Not so much, no, not when they're clawing at you like a cat trying to knead a comfy spot to lay down and declaring you belong to them in a non-magic type five star hotel."

"Side along apparition is not illegal in Britain as long as it was with a British citizen with a valid apparition license," Henry scowled and turned to Ron. "What sort of bloody insanity is that? Are you seriously trying to charge him for that?"

"Unlicensed apparition," Wakefield snapped.

"It is impossible for someone barely more than a squib to apparate unassisted." Henry glared. "And exactly who are you that you are in a position to be arguing any of this? Are you the senior Auror here? What's your name to begin with? Don't you have to at least give that much before screaming at ill, innocent people in the street?"

"Senior Auror Hamilton Wakefield and he's hardly innocent! Dragon Smuggling--"

"He's a Drakkentongue and the dragons sought him. He got them out of muggle areas and sent them home!" Charlie shouted. Stanislav glared and began ranting in his native language.

"Dunno about rhino shit for brains, Kafu, but Wizard cops are right up there with Sunnydale Cops for stupid." Xander muttered.

"What did you say! WHAT?" Wakefield screeched.

Xander winced. "Oh you heard of my hometown huh?" he snorted.

"A squib cannot side-along apparate." a second auror, this one the youngest and dumbest looking of the lot probably hoping for brownie points, spoke up.

"I said barely more than a squib. Not a squib." Henry glared.

Xander looked at the worried George kneeling next to him. "Don't worry, Henry'll win, he can argue in circles until you want to beat your head against the wall and agree to anything just to shut him the hell up. He got an international law degree from Myrddin before he went to Isla Roja."

Myrrdin University George had heard of, actually heard more than he ever wanted to of it because of Hermione's ranting nothing comparable existed in Britain, or anywhere in Europe. She'd been even more furious to learn that to this day Myrrdin was never mentioned once to students at Hogwarts, or Beauxbatons and Durmstrang for that matter, when they were undergoing the meetings with their heads of house about career choices and sixth and seventh year classes. Even if it was in North America it was one of the few (five) Wizarding Universities in the world and certainly worth mentioning it, or any of the others, which were also all outside Europe. He didn't know much more than that because to be honest, he couldn't care less and Hermione got to be extremely long winded when she was wound up. He tended to make his excuses and either leave, or go talk to someone else at the gathering when she got on her soapbox. Isla Roja he'd heard of, sort of, rumors and whispers and the like. That was the Island where the DNE supposedly trained.

Bill gaped down at Xander. He'd announced the Canadian had gone to both Myrddin and Isla Roja with no more--as if it were no more remarkable than cleaning floos rather well!



*
*


Cecily Hopewell frowned entering the kitchen of the country manor house that served as the Watcher's headquarters. She'd spent a good deal of the past two hours on the phone to the elders of the coven once she'd been informed of what was going on.

"With the blessing of the Elders I so seal the geis that you submitted to upon arrival at Rowan Cottage. I so seal the geis that binds your power. I so seal the geis that stops you from doing any magic at all upon penalty of death." Cecily said softly.

"WHAT DID YOU DO? UNDO IT I HAVE TO FIND XANDER!" Willow screamed and flew at Cecily. Giles caught her around the waist.

"Willow! Look at yourself! Now you will come to my office. Sit down and bloody well listen, and start offering up what spells you have cast where so they may be undone if possible. Cecily if you'd join us? Katherine! Celeste! Could you assist in escorting Ms. Rosenberg to my office, carefully!" Giles called out to two of the older Slayers who did the majority of the physical training and fighting technique instruction of the rest of the girls in residence.


*


"Willow," Giles began with a sigh.

Willow glared furiously, her hands visibly twitched with the geis' power, the girl was trying to reach for magic.

"Willow, stop it, you will hurt yourself if not flat you kill yourself long before the geis kills you." Giles said firmly.

"Xander is in danger and you do this!"

"Xander is in danger because you placed him there."

"I did not! I would never!"

"Will you shut up and bloody LISTEN!"

Willow's expression somehow became even more mutinous.

"Might I remind you, you are bound to answer truthfully by the geis, did you place spells upon Xander without his knowledge or permission."

"Yes but--"

Cecily's normally gentle face became hard and cold. "There is no but. That is against everything you agreed to, everything you swore by the goddess to not do, everything we taught you."

"Willow why don't we start with why Xander was never put onto the Council payroll? I am not his employer, I had no right to demand he take a vacation, he did so only because he knew you were harassing me."

"Xander works for the council--"

"No he does not. He never has. He was under the impression that the council funds were still all tied up--"

"YOU TOLD HIM!"

"Willow." Giles said warningly.

"If he didn't have any money to keep wandering around and maybe getting hurt and killed in Africa then he would have to come back here! It's not like they were finding any slayers! THREE! Just three! Go through the Slayer records there's only seventeen from Africa in the last eight hundred years!"

"Seventeen found there are great gaps, especially in past centuries when travel was difficult to impossible in many areas." Giles glared. "There are entire decades without the names of active slayers because even if the location was managed to be scried, it was simply impossible to get to them."

"THREE!"

"Xander has sent three to the Council. How many and who and where they are I don't know but he has located other slayers and seen them safely to places they can be trained. He pointed out himself many of the areas he travels in belief in magic and demons is common and the girls are better off in a familiar environment if what they are is understood and accepted and they have proper training. He says he's seen to that and I believe him."

"WHAT?" Willow screeched.

"Xander is under no obligation to tell us of anything he does, or of any slayer he comes across. He is not employed by the council."

"HE IS SO! AND HE NEEDS TO BE HERE NOT IN AFRICA!"

"He is not. He has never been listed on the payroll. He has never been anywhere in the computers or records as an employee of the Council. He is not an employee of the Council presently, nor has he ever been due to your manipulation."

"So you fired Xander! You can't fire Xander"

"You’re right. I can't, since you made bloody well sure he was never hired."

"Xander is so a member of the council he calls, he makes reports, he--"

"He calls his friends, he gives edited news of anything that might be of note to the council, occasionally writes up bits of things he's learned that would be helpful to us. He is under absolutely no obligation to do so. He is not employed by the Council, not now, nor has he ever been, nor do I have any intention of hiring him as a full time employee. He's done remarkably well for himself, and he is going to continue as he has been if that is what he chooses to do."

"Well you have to hire him and make him come back here he's not safe in Africa. Tracking spells go wrong around him the spells on his phone never works properly."

"Xander is a grown man perfectly capable of making his own decisions. How many times has he asked you to remove the spells on him or his equipment or not to cast spells in the first place Willow."


*
*

"You brought a muggle to Hogsmeade! To Diagon Alley!"

"That's illegal?" Xander frowned up at Ron.

"Secrecy laws to protect the Wizarding society. Muggleborns parents are usually escorted by Hogwarts staff or ministry folk for the first years, and almost all the time by second year on they go with school friends and their families. Hermione always went with us. Dean went with Seamus. Seamus' mum would pick Dean up and take him along with. Hermione generally spent the last week of the summer hols with my family and we'd go to Diagon for our school things then."

"Natalia's been to T'bori villages, to Goblin villages and all sorts of places with us in Africa." Xander shrugged. "Not like she's ever going to tell anyone. Wolfgang can take her to London though if you don't want her here."

Natalia opened her mouth, closed it and glared. "You are going to owe me hours upon hours of martial arts practice for this one, Xan."

"Oh goody. I feel the bruises already." Xander murmured. "Eww, I don't want more."

"You are drinking it." Kafu ordered holding another vial from his bag out.

"What is that?"

"A simple replenishing draught." Kafu snorted disdainfully.

"Are you trying to poison--"

"Oh just shut up." Xander grumbled. "Kafu wouldn't poison me. And the seal on that is yellow not red. Which means it's one I made, not one Kafu made."

"It is a poor potions master who would be afraid to use his own potions, especially such a simple one." Kafu said dryly.

"Hey! Watch it! You're the stinky weed and guts stewing pro! Not me."

"I do not stew stinky weeds and guts, but perhaps I should stew a few pieces of you to teach you some manners." Kafu glared without any real heat.

"I've seen scarier than you. Threats to remove vertebrae one by one with railroad spikes, bathe in your blood and give intestines over to lunatic girlfriends to play skip rope with are much scarier. And even that, not so much in retrospect."

"You're feeling better." Kafu declared drolly. "You're babbling like a possessed fool."

"Come along, fraulien," Wolfgang said quietly. "I'll help you decide your training schedule to punish Alexander with."

"Shopping? There's shopping in London." Xander pointed out.

"There is that, but you're still in it." Natalia glared.

"Are you going to arrest me for apparating with a muggle? I was employed by the International Council of Wizards, apparating with a muggle is no different than apparating with an injured or injured and unconscious comrade. I do have an international apparition license." Wolfgang wanted to know.

Wakefield glared.

"I shall take that as a no. Alexander, should we perhaps visit your friends?"

"That would be a major hell no at the moment," Xander shook his head. "Willow is not happy with me, that could get ugly. Or at least loud and headache-inducing and Gman doesn't need another headache on the Willow and Xander front."

Wolfgang nodded unhappily and disappeared with a resounding ~crack~.

"A report has to be filed with the Department of Magical Creatures about the dragons--"

"Which there is forty eight hours to do, it's been less than four, and most of those have been spent arguing in circles with you looking for someone to arrest when there hasn't been a crime committed." Charlie pointed out.

Ron winced, fairly certain he was going to be the one paying for that particular stab at Wakefield but it was the truth. But the man had been going in circles and giving everyone a headache, not to mention making a bloody arse of himself in front of half the populace of Hogsmeade who seemed to have wandered out for the show once the dragons were gone and the aurors were simply standing there arguing with Weasleys and a bunch of strangely dressed foreigners. He'd also spotted Rita Skeeter with her quill flying against a notepad, Quigsley and Morris who were an equally annoying reporter/photographer duo from the Wizards Alternate Press magazine--and Luna. He bet next month's Quibbler would have the most accurate accounting of this mess buried somewhere between where to find flurrywurry whats-its and 101 uses for frumpet horns.

"One toe out of line and I will find a way to see you in Azkaban." Wakefield threatened glaring first at Xander, then at Kafu, Henry and Medraut.

"What? And you're not going to say 'I would have too if not for those meddling kids and their dog too!'" Xander smarted off.

"I am not a dog, and Kafu is not a child. It should at least be those if not for those meddling wizards and their muggle and goblin too." Digger huffed with mock affrontery.

"See, Kafu, someone around here appreciates the classics and Scooby is a classic" Xander laughed.