InsaneJournal

A Series of (mostly) Un-Apocalyptic Events--pt 6a
full header & previous parts:
an unexpected meeting || unusual conversations || un-imaginary friends and places, really || unlikely coincidence || unplanned vacation




~unsanctioned dragon(s)~

Xander awoke with a rumbling weight on his chest, along with sharp scratching just under his collar bones. He opened his eyes to glaring golden eyes in the face of a little black dragon.

"You again."

The purr took a growling edge.

"This is a normal people place. An expensive normal people place. Not a dragon place."

The little dragon huffed. MINE, the voice was childish and petulant, every bit the toddler stomping it's foot quickly headed for full meltdown.

"Am I hearing voices now or are you talking? AND OW!!! You are not a cat! Quit kneading that hurts!"

MINE

Xander groaned. Well, this did get him out of a fourth day of aimless wandering in London. He'd caught up on the new movies in the theatres that he was interested in. He didn't see the point in wandering through stores if he wasn't going to buy anything and there was nothing he needed at the moment and Natalia had the tent so full it was already heavy as hell to carry. The tent was honestly so packed and heavy he was hoping to go back to find Kafu's grandson and nephews had convinced Natalia to marry one or all of them--then they could have their own tent, and one of them could carry it. Medraut and Xander carried all their gear, easier with Kafu's mojo on it to be sure, but it was still heavy with all Natalia's shit. Slayer strength meant she'd have no trouble carrying it compared to either Xander or Medraut, but that was exactly why she didn't. She needed to be unencumbered so nothing tangled her up if she needed to fight now. Kafu, for the same reason, carried next to nothing to keep free for any defensive magic without a backpack strap sliding down and screwing up his aim.

Xander sighed and got up lifting the little dragon in his arms. "You're the size of a puppy. You need to go home to mama." He couldn't believe he was saying that to a dragon, but Kafu was really really insistent on the whole not killing dragons thing unless they were rogue and there was no choice. Xander had no argument for dragons being relatively "harmless", they hadn't even dealt with dragon rampages on the hellmouth, and while he'd heard rumors of dragon sightings, the worst attached to the rumors was munched livestock. He agreed not to kill a dragon as long as it wasn't killing innocent people, mostly just to shut Kafu up.

Mine

"Why didn't you decide you liked Natalia? She thought you were cute. And she's in Africa, not an expensive normal people hotel!"

The little dragon just glared.

"Whatever." Xander muttered and reached for his cell phone of the dresser.

"Hello,"

"Mornin, Willow"

"XANDER!"

"I need to talk to Giles--"

"No! No no no! You are on vacation! Who called you if they have a problem they should have called us not you! You are on vacation--"

"WILLOW!" Xander said sharply. "I want to ask Giles about --never mind. I'm going to visit a friend. He lives in Hogsmeade okay? Will you tell Giles?"

"Where?" Willow's frowny-face clearly heard over the phone connection.

"Just tell Giles. I want to talk to George about Ridgeback Romania thing."

"Xander! You are on vacation--"

"Nothing to do with slayage I promise, Willow, and as far as I know, George isn't a witch." He crossed his fingers against the little dragons hide that Willow didn't have some sort of truth spell on the council phones. It wasn't exactly a lie, guys with George's brand of mojo were wizards not witches.

"Nothing to do with demons?"

"Nothing to do with demons, ghosts, trolls, goblins, wiccas, spells, world-endage, prophecies, portents of doom or even unicorns. I swear."

"There's no such thing as unicorns, Xander."

Xander rolled his eye. "I'm going to go see a friend and might not be back to the hotel for a day or two and you know my phone fades out at times so I didn't want anyone freaking out."

"I should try another phone."

"No, please no! I like the phone I have. And the voicemail works. You've gone through forty different phones--" Xander did not want to deal with another magically enhanced phone when he'd finally gotten this particular one to behave.

"Seventeen," Willow corrected.

"Willow. It's me. Whatever magic goes wonky around Xander--evidently carries over to magical objects like this. My phone works well enough."

*

Xander's head was absolutely pounding by the time he entered the Leaky Cauldron with a pouting baby dragon in the leather satchel Kafu's wife had given him. Even with the magic-expanded roominess, the little dragon was not happy in the satchel and a growling, occasionally wriggling around satchel was hard to explain. For once he was thrilled with a cabbie that didn't speak English worth a darn.

"Hey, could I trouble you to make a fire call for me? I'm...allergic to the sand. It goes really really wrong if I try to use it. I'll pay. I've got Muggle money--British and American, and I've got some T'bori coin. No idea what the exchange rates are."

The old man behind the bar stared a moment. "I remember you."

Xander forced his goofiest most harmless smile. "Yeah I've been here a few times before, back in the spring. I've been in Africa again the last few months, I--George Weasley, the redhead that I was here with? Could you try to get him on the fire for me. I--seriously can't touch fire-sand."

"You're allergic to floo powder? That's what you mean?"

"Sorry, yeah floo powder. I spend too much time in Africa."

"T'bori? You have real T'bori coin?"

"Yeah, I do." Xander reached in his front pocket, thankful he'd had the sense to take a few coins from his satchel before the little dragon had been stuffed in there.

"I'll be..." the bartender breathed. "Incredible." he took the coins inspecting them, "Just incredible. Just seein such a thing is good enough. Allergic to floo powder, never heard of such a thing..."

"Trust me, me and fire-sand, er, floo powder, very much not with the mixing." Xander said with a shudder. Once. Just once he'd tried to use Kafu's fire-sand. He refused to even carry the bag of fire-sand after that. Not even Kafu had been sure who or what Xander had connected with through the fire but it hadn't wanted a call, and had been hurling hexes and fireballs that nearly hurt them all before the fire had been doused and that particular nightmare over. He'd gone 'through the fire' a few times but only if Kafu took him. He was never going to find out if he tried to go through the fire on his own.

"Sounds like a nasty curse to me." The bartender scowled but nodded and headed for the smaller public floo. "George Weasley, Weasley Wizard Wheezes." he called out. tossing the sand-like powder into the flames.

"Yeah?" George's head appeared in the fire. "Tom?"

"Lad here wanting to talk to you, Weasley," Tom said.

"Thanks," Xander smiled. "Hey, George,"

"Xander! Didn't know you were back in the country mate!"

"Vacation orders--complete with pouting faces and stompy feet. Absolutely no contact with anything or anyone work related, which I think you're the only person I know who doesn't fall under that. I also got a little annoyance that maybe you'd know who I could track down to get it back where it belongs."

The little Dragon grumbled and tried to stick it's head out of the bag.

"No you don't. You're staying in there." Xander hissed. He shoved the little thing down and kept his hand in the bag holding the puppy-sized terror.

"Sure, you want to come on through the floo to the Hogsmeade shop?"

"Can't, I'm allergic to floo powder, I'd end up in China or something," Xander shook his head, a little afraid he'd end up in another dimension but he wasn't going to say that aloud. His luck with magical stuff was just that bad.

"Cursed" Tom shook his head. "Nasty, subtle thing, very Slytherin I'd warrant."

Xander gave the unrepentantly eavesdropping Tom a look. "Er..."

"It's impossible to end up in China." George said from the flames.

"Yeah. Well, impossible isn't something I want to risk." Xander snorted.

"All right can you side-along apparate?"

"If I hang on I get where who I'm hanging on to is going." Xander agreed.

"Right, well I'll be a little bit. Half hour or so, just about lunch so just a matter of closing up early."

"Cool. See you in a bit then." Xander said one hand inside his satchel with a firm hold on the cranky little dragon's muzzle.



*

"You're going where?" Charlie demanded.

"Leaky Cauldron to see Xander."

"Not without me you're not. Not if he's the same one that...no."

George rolled his eyes at his brother. "You sound like Luna going on about the stories she's heard of an earth-magic Wicca taking down hellgods."

*

Tom promised to tell George he'd be right back which enabled Xander to make a quick trip to Gringotts to exchange the muggle cash in his wallet for British Wizard coins.

Xander tripped as neared the Diagon Alley entrance of the Leaky.

Bruhver! the little dragon panted.

Xander groaned. "I'm losing my mind."

Bruhver! the little dragon wailed plaintively, this one bigger than the cranky one in his satchel, but more sad and lost than the toddler-pissy-fit attitude little cranky-scales had going on.

Xander glanced around and flat out willed no one to notice as he scooped up the little dragon and shoved it in his satchel "If your mother eats me I'm haunting Kafu til he kills you both," Xander growled.

Xander collapsed into the chair up against the wall near the public transport floo. Tom thought he was a little odd just wanting ice water but didn't argue. The two dragons in his satchel seemed to have exhausted their energy and even little cranky-scales was napping curled up with his brother.

"Xander!" George grinned as he stepped out of the floo.

"Hey, George,"

"My brother's joinin' us--"

Xander blinked as the one dragon guy stumbled out of the fireplace. "Cool. Are you psychic or something, George, cause he is exactly the sort of someone I need to see. You have runaways again." Xander glared. "And the cranky little mister hiss huff steam and stompy feet showed up at a freaking five star non-magic type hotel!"

Charlie paled "What?"

Xander stood, the satchel in his arms because he was absolutely not about to risk the two loose in the bar. "Little, talons, tails, currently passed out in the bag, the same two as the last time. Cranky-scales and his tagalong."

"You've got Snape and Hagrid in your bag?" Charlie whispered horrified.

Xander pulled back the cover flap of the satchel just enough for Charlie to see.

"Merlin's balls." Charlie groaned. "Let's head back to your flat, George, because this...the last thing we need is Norbert in London if he's badgered into looking for these two."

"Norbert is Daddy?"

"Yeah"

"Yeah, Daddy in London, so not of the good. Kafu will glare at me if I have to kill him or something. He might even stew me if he decides my reason for keeping Daddy from fricasseeing clueless non magical types wasn't good enough, then I'd have to haunt him, and Will would go all Darth Willow if I got stewed and it just wouldn't be good. In fact bad, very bad."

Charlie stared. George burst out laughing at his brother's horrified expressions

"Dragons are protected by--" Charlie glared.

"Mmm munching on non magical people who don't believe they would exist kinda takes em off the endangered species list in my book. Not even Kafu is budgin' me on that one."

"He's got you on that one and you know it Charlie but we should get the little buggers out of here before we get arrested. Can you side along with a--one of them?"

"Don't see why not." Xander shrugged. "Done it holding other animals before."

Charlie blinked. "I have no idea, I don't know anyone who has ever been insane enough to try..."

"They're usually too bloody big." George pointed out. "C'mon we need to go to the square in Diagon to apparate."

"I don't know how--it's a magical being, two of them and--" Charlie frowned.

"It'll work," Xander said with a shrug. "Or it won't. I'm not touching fire-powder that is worse. No. Just not never uh uh. And that looks a lot more cramped than T'bori bonfires between their villages so no. Not. Me and fire-sand are not mixy. Dangerously not mixy."

"Right. You okay, Xander?" George asked worriedly

"I have scratches on my chest from cranky-scales waking me up trying to kneed at me like a damned cat, which much sharper and nastier and bigger claws and the one is trying to claim me with it's cranky little 'mine' business and the other was doing the equivalent of lost baby sniffling wanting it's bruhver for hells sake! Not really no. And no-mojo type cabs? With a dragon in a sack wanting out? Not fun either. I want outta public before the little scaly twerps wake up."

"Can't say as I blame you on that, mate,"

"Good. Let's go." Xander sighed. "Cranky-scales is stirring. Stubborn little twerp ought to be out cold for a week as tired as he feels. And Daddy in London will be a really big headache. Hogsmeade's all mojo right?"

"Yeah. It is." George agreed. "Only pure wizarding village in all of Britain."

"Well, lets get there before mommy and daddy come looking for the runaways." Xander said.

"Bloody hell," Charlie swallowed as Xander glared at the entrance to Diagon Alley, which opened with no more than the growl, "Ain't got time to play tappity-tap. Open."

"You're--wonder if you aren't more powerful than Harry." George stared.

"Who?"

"Harry Potter."

"Who's he?"

George shook his head with a grin. "He's going to bloody love you with that for an answer."

"Ookay." Xander shrugged.

Charlie limped behind dazed and worried. That...that shouldn't have happened. Shouldn't have even been possible.

Xander grabbed hold of George's arm and concentrated on not letting go, this had to work because the fireplaces were littler than T'bori bonfires and he wasn't sure he wanted to risk the little scaly brats getting bounced out somewhere.

"Bloody hell," George gasped and staggered just a bit as they landed on the small landing outside the flat above the Hogsmeade Wheezes shop. "That--you're maybe stronger than Dumbledore was."

"Who?"

"Albus Dumbledore, he was the headmaster of Hogwarts during both wars with Voldemort."

Xander nodded. "Sure.." That meant absolutely nothing but he wasn't all that concerned at the moment either. "Mojo and me don't mix well. I tend to avoid it and leave it to Kafu or even Medraut, or Willow, Andrew and the Devon Coven but Willow and Andrew get scary sometimes too."

"Don't mix well," Charlie repeated.

"Nope. Spells and magic go all wonky around me. Don't touch the stuff unless there's absolutely no choice."


The crack that rent through the air startled the two dragons in the satchel awake. Xander groaned as the two heads popped out of the satchel, the bigger wide eyed and scared, the smaller just plain pissy.

"Oh bloody hell! Charlie what are you doing with those here? The Department of Transport caught you two and an unlicensed person apparating from the Diagon Square and Pendleworthy caught me as I was going by since it was you two."

"You don't have an apparition license?" George stared at Xander.

"A wha? Huh?"

The cranky little dragon blew a puff of steam followed by a small blast of flame.

"ALL RIGHT THAT IS ENOUGH!" Xander growled and pulled the little dragon out of the satchel and held it up nose to nose with himself. "You. And. Your. Attitude. Have. About. Exhausted. My. Patience. NO FLAMING PEOPLE GOT IT!!! Demons when you're all grown up fine. People NO! NEVER EVER!"

The little dragon gave Xander a petulant defiant look and a puff of steam dumb people

"Stupid does not justify extra-crispy! EVER!"

mad?

Xander groaned and scooped the bigger dragon out of his satchel. "Not mad at you silly. Your brother was being a flamey-brat."

mine!

want

mine

please

"Stop it," Xander glared shifting the two in his arms. "You're both going home to your mommy dragon! I am not babysitting! I won't! No."

"You speak DRAGON?" Ron gaped. "Bloody hell what's going on?"

"Huh?" Xander stared. "What do you mean?"

"Harry doesn't realize when he's speaking Parseltongue," Ron nodded. "You were speaking Drakkentongue."

"I was what?" Xander gaped.

"You were. You were speaking Dragon." George insisted

"No wonder Snape likes you." Charlie stared.

"SNAPE?"

"That's Cranky Scales? What's the Cuddly one's name?"

"Hagrid."

"You bloody named a dragon Snape?"

"They're Norbert's," Charlie sighed.

Ron nodded. "He have permits?"

"They ran away again. They already did that and made it to Africa--Snape did and Hagrid followed."

"He got them spelled or something?"

"No. Snape just decided he wanted that person and not anyone else."

"Unlicensed apparition, dragons without paperwork--bloody hell you know there's the monitor-spell on Diagon Square, they've buried getting rid of it since bloody You-Know-Who. Why did you take him there if--"

"How were we to know a bloody DNE agent doesn't have a British Apparition lisence!"

"My tattoo worked in Monaco." Xander offered. "Clowns in dresses fussed then but the tattoo's shut them up. Even if they really tried to argue about mine."

"Tattoo." Ron frowned warily.

"It's a line of T'bori runes. And basic enough ones even I can explain em."

"Let's just get inside then we'll sort it." George sighed.