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December 1st, 2009
November 30th, 2009
spacelogic
 | 02:02 pm - numbers
A while back I was looking through a collection of brochures for different programs at my school and caught myself thinking "wow, there're a lot of women on these brochures!" Then I thought "I wonder how many there are, exactly," and counted. End result: 13 women, 17 men, and a few I couldn't positively identify. Hm.
I think part of the reason I thought it looked good was that they had women on the brochures for "male" fields (CS, engineering) and men on the "female" fields' ones (nursing, I believe also culinary arts) so I was expecting good numbers too. But there's also the male default here. I noticed the women. The men were to be expected. I remember reading about a study where men and women were shown videos of conversations and asked who had dominated them, and they thought women were dominating conversations when the time taken by men and women was equal, and saw balance when the men talked more.
Another case of that crops up in the apparent "crisis" in American Judaism. That most religions are and have historically been run by men isn't an issue, but as soon as one appears to be dominated by women, it's a problem. Note that the only man quoted in that article as saying that gender imbalance isn't a problem is speaking from a place where men are the majority -- that kind of imbalance is fine, people!
Have I mentioned lately that I'm tired of misogyny?
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://lh5.ggpht.com/_SJ6TeXfPhWs/SV2_tCMXfkI/AAAAAAAAAWM/Hp8KBmms2DM/s800/worried.png) worried
Current Music: Bruce Springsteen - The Wrestler
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tigresslilly
 | 12:40 pm - On Family and Other Sour Spots
I hate family holidays. It's not as bad as it used to be. There isn't a mind numbing soul obliterating anxiety about them anymore as there used to be. There's just a dull ache of worry and some slight stomach tremors. Really the worst bit was that I thought I'd probably never have to go to a shin dig like this again. I would go one day, I just would never have to.
I didn't want to talk about where I'd been what I'd been doing and how I was. I'm better but not so well that I can always talk about Zac or Wyoming or what was a fairy tale life that while childish and unsustainable was also beautiful. I just can't talk about it especially with people who don't get it and no one in my family gets it.
Instead I gave short answers and listened to long unending diatribes of how awesome everyone else is. I was glad they were well but I could have done without the jabs at where they were compared to me. I sincerely hope I never did that to them or anyone else, though my successes are so few and far between, I'm sure I've had little opportunity to knock some else further down that way.
In particular my cousin, who works at Fenway went on and on about how boring but glamorous her job was, how much she hated living at home (though she does nothing there but sleep and hang out), and how wonderful her parties and nights out were. I wanted her to be successful. I was prepared to hear about her success and joy so it didn't even sting that much when she kept slighting me and where I was or discarding some of the work I have to do like chores and house upkeep and whatnot.
What did sting was to find out later that her job at Fenway pays $9/hr she works no more than 30hrs a week and she doesn't get benefits. She'd sat there and scorned my retail work as less and demeaning when we make the same hourly rate, I work full time and my job gives me benefits. I don't have an hours commute by public transportation to pay for or anything.
In other more pleasant news my bro got a letter from Mass Maritime and we think it might be his acceptance *hopefully*. I've got to wait for him to come home and open it but I'm super hopeful for him. It's very exciting.
Also, they've finally corrected the comp and literacy portions of the mtels, I should finally have results and hopefully a license on the 9th. Maybe I've be able to pick up some second term work or start vigorously looking for the fall. I'm apprehensive and excited. I don't know what I'll do if this doesn't work and my parents feel strongly I'll need several other back up plans that I'm not sure how to approach but I'll have to figure something out soon I guess.
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November 28th, 2009
spacelogic
 | 11:09 am - how not to overcome a phobia
I broke my glasses last night. In the morning, when I sheepishly reported to Mum what had happened, she told me I should find a backup pair (don't have one; it's been years and my prescription changed) and call the optometrist. Now, I am a logical person, but do not ask me to make a phone call if there is any alternative. I will panic, shut down, and become defensive. The only kind of phone calls I can handle are when someone calls me, when I call home, when I call somewhere I know a robot will answer, and when I have absolutely no choice. It's hard enough talking to strangers in person, or emailing them; not knowing who'll be at the other end of the phone is impossible. And it's not just that I need to make more calls, goddammit. I feel ill when I'm pushed. And nobody understands. *single tear*
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://lh3.ggpht.com/_SJ6TeXfPhWs/SV2-xGIFP0I/AAAAAAAAAOY/spbVVuIe1yk/s800/aggravated.png) aggravated
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November 27th, 2009
spacelogic
 | 04:37 pm - meta: squicks and siblings
Claudia Christian mentioned in a blog post the other day that a B5 director ("who had clearly never watched the show") had told her to play her scenes with Sheridan more "sexy and coquettish" and I had such a strong "EWNOGROSS" reaction that I had to step back and analyze why. I can handle all kinds of fic/pairings, even if I prefer to avoid them. But Sheridan/Ivanova disgusts me, and thinking about it I've come to the conclusion that it's because they're too much like siblings.
It's kind of funny, I suppose. I can handle all kinds of screwed-up pairings if I understand the kink, even if I don't share it. I can deal with non-con, power imbalance including parent/child incest, aliens... lots of stuff. And I'm on IJ substantially because I used to have a good friend who wrote and read Weasleycest, and while I wasn't into it I didn't like the idea of her ability to do so being restricted. But despite this, sibling incest remains one of my biggest squicks.
Maybe it's because I have siblings I'm close to, and the idea of people perverting that kind of relationship feels too close to home. But I have parents I'm close to, too, and I can handle parent/child type stuff. I suppose in the Sheridan/Ivanova case, there's the added factor that they're not related by blood or by legal definition, and I've got those siblings too and know how upsetting I'd find it if people ignored that and assumed that we were sexually involved. Ties in to the whole "a man and a woman can't be just friends ever" cultural assumption, which I hate because I used to be the girl who had all guy friends and wasn't into any of them, no, really, stop teasing me, Mum! *coughs* Tangent there. Anyway, I think there's another factor.
Actors are often treated as people whose job is to convey emotions, deliver lines, and embody personalities. They are, of course. But another job they do is play relationships, and they're often not as good at that. We've all seen a big romantic storyline completely fizzle because the main romance lacked chemistry. Then, too, parent-child dynamics on screen and stage often fall flat. But the most commonly disappointing relationships I'm used to seeing are sibling ones. Screen siblings, whether bickering or affectionate, tend to fail to convince. And so I guess when I see a sibling relationship I like, I really don't like seeing it taken through the "a man and a woman can't be just friends ever" cliché. So Sheridan and Ivanova, whose sibling vibe seems so clear to me, I can't bear to think of in a sexual situation.
(Claudia Christian, I may have mentioned, is brilliant at playing relationships. Yet another reason I love B5.)
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://lh5.ggpht.com/_SJ6TeXfPhWs/SV2_iUXew8I/AAAAAAAAAUI/da2srDPYFoA/s800/pensive.png) pensive
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November 25th, 2009
mirisa_ardruna
 | 12:59 pm - It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...
The bad news is that it's been starting to look like it for WEEKS now. Seriously. WEEKS. As in there were still Halloween things up when Christmas stuff started popping up on people's houses and lawns and such, and being TURNED ON!! There have been lights LIT on O Street for weeks now! I've seen the Twelve Days of Christmas decorations up for ages now too--and one store had a toy soldier lit up. South Pointe's been Christmased up already too. *shakes head* And Christmas music is playing intermittently on the radio--although there was a distinct WTF moment for me when a Sirius station billed as "love songs" was playing nonstop Christmas music. Um. Yeah. They HAVE a Christmas-only station! What the hell are they taking over the love songs for?!
Now, in Nebraska, since the weather is a game of Russian Roulette in November, it's reasonably understandable that people get things up early so they aren't trying to do it in snow. But having it up is one thing. Having it TURNED ON is quite another. Standard protocol states that Christmas decorations may be turned on and such after Thanksgiving, or on Thanksgiving night. That'd be TOMORROW, kids. Oy.
Anyway, after tomorrow, Christmas me up. I'll take it then. But when you see turkeys AND candy canes up at the SAME HOUSE... it's a little weird.
In the meantime, bright blessings on all your Thanksgivings out there.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/mood/lierre/forecast/angry.gif) annoyed
Current Music: Trans-Siberian Orchestra - Christmas Eve Sarajevo
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November 23rd, 2009
spacelogic
 | 11:19 am - this is the long goodbye
Inexplicable 10-hour power outage last night. The weather's not even bad at all.
I appear to have lost my computer permanently -- I set up Age of Empires II and now everybody wants to play. Matisse took an 8-hour turn yesterday, and when Mum starts....
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://lh4.ggpht.com/_SJ6TeXfPhWs/SV2-1pKgr4I/AAAAAAAAAO0/QRkCh-d4zF8/s800/awake.png) awake
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rubyfruit_pixie
 | 12:32 am - Meta meta meta on the table table table: Naming your Muses!
Found on DW's Metafandom comm, An entry about naming muses and nicknaming fics, I have decided to open a discussion about the subject here on IJ.
Do y'all name your muses? Do you have nicknames for your fics?
( And stuff!! )
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/pink/cheerful.gif) amused
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November 22nd, 2009
rubyfruit_pixie
 | 10:18 pm - I had no icon for this entry.
So I am using this one because it is fun. :3 :3 ;3
Dear Muses,
Now that I'm starting on the Zero Princess Saga/Void Space Saga/Whatever the hell you want to call this series, Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, turn this into Viceroyverse done Kairi/Rinoa Style.
Please. I don't care how well it works, I don't care that it works on a multitude of levels. I don't care if it'd be cute (and about a quarter as creepy as Quistis/Kairi is!). I don't care if it makes a lot more sense than any other Kairi pairing in existence, Sora/Kairi included. But the Nonsense of Sora/Kairi is another show rant. Aaaanyway, no one would read it.
Even if it is a really good idea--
No. No. If you try and steer it in that direction, and we know that the one-sided Rinoa/Kairi in Braceletverse is enough, I will turn this brain around and write...umm...
I WILL MAKE US WRITE MPREG. SORA/KAIRI MPREG. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES!?
No love,
Jordi.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/pink/hungry2.gif) hungry
Current Music: "Reve" by Arai Akino
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November 21st, 2009
spacelogic
 | 04:13 pm - computers, laws thereof
Phoenix's Universal Laws of Computing:
1) Your computer is stupid, but completely obedient. It will do exactly what you tell it to do, whether or not that's what you actually want or, indeed, what you thought you were doing.
2) Your computer is out to get you. It hates your guts and wants you dead. You cannot let down your guard even for a moment. Save early, save often, and back up everything regularly.
3) Your computer can tell if you're afraid. It will do everything in its power to keep you that way. You have to show it who's boss, and that had better be you.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://lh4.ggpht.com/_SJ6TeXfPhWs/SV2_nIjC0LI/AAAAAAAAAVE/Nu92Uosf928/s800/satisfied.png) powerful
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![[mood icon]](http://lh6.ggpht.com/_SJ6TeXfPhWs/SV2_PFs4qWI/AAAAAAAAARk/iAsgi0_L8NY/s800/geeky.png)
geeky