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Jessica Vaisey ([info]littlevaisey) wrote in [info]landing_rpg,
@ 2009-08-05 22:00:00

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WHO. Jessica Vaisey & Hugo Weasley
WHAT. A talk.
WHERE. Hogwarts Grounds
WHEN. Feb 5th
RATING. PG-13
STATUS. Closed / Complete

After dinner, Jessica treaded the late night grounds to the courtyard in her thick robes, the place she'd been meeting Hugo for a night stroll for days now. It's become routine, these walks. It gave them time to spend more time together and talk about how each other's day went. It was comforting for Jessica to have him in her life, to have someone she could care for, to be with someone who seemed to want her around.

It was perhaps why she was dreading having to talk to him that day. Now, she needed to be truthful with him, needed him to know the decision she'd only recently made about Evan. She knew it was unfair to spring this on him, and perhaps should have been truthful about this side of herself from the start, but she had been too afraid at that time... too scared to hurt him enough that he'd leave...

And now that was what she was fearing. But she needed to do this... she needed him to understand...

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[info]hugoweas
2009-08-05 02:23 pm UTC (link)
Hugo didn't know what was taking Jess so long. He was already waiting for her in the courtyard. What if something happened to keep her delayed? She would have told him, wouldn't she? Or maybe it was something unexpected...

Or maybe she was just late. Hugo had to calm himself down. They did this every night, he shouldn't expect anything different today. Jess would be here, and they'd talk, and enjoy eachother's company like always. Hugo still didn't know how things stood between them, but he knew he was happy, being around Jess. She wasn't like any other girl he knew before.

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[info]littlevaisey
2009-08-05 02:37 pm UTC (link)
Rounding a corner, Jessica immediately found Hugo standing where he always waited for her. Quietly, she approached him, her heart beating more wildly in her chest now the shorter the distance between them became. It was too easy to simply pretend nothing was wrong, some part of her wanted to shield him from hurt... from her... but she belived in being honest with him more.

Coming behind her, she circled her arms around him and hugged him tightly, resting her head against his back and taking in his familiar boyish scent. Who knew if he will ever let her do that after their talk. "Hi." she said faintly, her voice barely audible in the air between them, still holding him to her.

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[info]hugoweas
2009-08-05 02:42 pm UTC (link)
Hugo felt Jess hug him from behind, and he laughed a bit. Was she trying to surprise him? He didn't mind the hug, but he would have liked to have seen her first. "Jess, where've you been?" he asked with a bit of a laugh. But then that died off.

He heard her faint tone, and the hug tightened like Jess didn't want to let go. Had something happened? She was upset... he could tell, he didn't even need to see her. What happened to her? "Jess, are you alright?"

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[info]littlevaisey
2009-08-05 02:48 pm UTC (link)
"No." Jessica answered, hiding her face on his back. His laughs were always like little songs to her, she wanted to keep hearing them. Just making him worry a little bit now was hurting her, and it made it so hard for her to go on. His shirt smelled so painfully of him, and everything, with the way he spoke to the way he felt was so familiar. She never wanted to not be familiar with; she crumbles at the thought of missing them.

"Let me hug you for a minute longer..." Jess asked, almost begged. "Please..."

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[info]hugoweas
2009-08-05 02:52 pm UTC (link)
Hugo bit his lip, and did as she asked. He was really worried now though. She was hugging him like... Jess expected she'd never get to again. Hugo wanted to know what was going on. But at the same time, he knew... he felt it was something he wasn't going to like. So after a few minutes were up, he looked over his shoulder at Jess, and pulled away from her grasp so he could turn around fully and look at her. "Tell me what's wrong."

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[info]littlevaisey
2009-08-05 03:01 pm UTC (link)
Jess wished she could just hold him forever, just clutch onto him like nothing else mattered, like nothing at all could hurt them both. But fate wasn't so kind and soon Hugo's growing curiosity and concern got the better of him. Pulling out of her embrace, he turned to look at her, and she looked up at his face again, not speaking for a moment as she burned the lines of his face in her mind. Her hands fell to her side.

"Do you think a man's heart is big enough to be able to love two people?" she asked.

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[info]hugoweas
2009-08-05 03:10 pm UTC (link)
She was staring at him so intensely, and it was really starting to worry Hugo. What could have been so horrible, that it upset Jessica so much now? He wanted to help, but she wasn't telling him anything.

But finally when she did speak, Hugo didn't know what to make out of it. "I... I don't know," he said nervously. Love wasn't something he was used too. And if Hugo thought of it, he could only imagine loving one person. "What's this about Jess?"

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[info]littlevaisey
2009-08-05 03:24 pm UTC (link)
Jessica sighed. It was clear in his face that he didn't understand, and it had already taken a lot of her just to ask that vague question. Was it too late for her to pull back? Her chest was tightening in her efforts to push down the tears threatening to rise to her eyes. She wondered why this happened to her, why she was perfectly incapable of shedding a tear in any other heart ache but easily cried when it came to people she loved...

Her shoulders slumped as she casted her eyes down, one of her hands reaching out to grip his hand tightly. "I haven't been telling you everything about myself, Hugo." she said, speaking very slowly. "For a very long time, I've harbored very strong feelings for a friend of mine. I've had to struggle with my feelings, fought for it for a time, even went as far as deceiving him in my desperation to get him out of my system... But I still couldn't get him out of my head...

"He broke my heart when he found out. He didn't want me and told me to go find someone else. I couldn't, not when I still had feelings for him. And then I found you..."

She swallowed then and started blinking rapidly, feeling the burning behind her eyes. "I never thought I'd care for you, and grow to feel so strongly for you in the days we've spent together. You're amazing, and wonderful. I love everything about who you are. I feel so cared for when I'm with you, and I live everyday wanting to make you feel the same. Because I do, I do care for you a lot.

"But I... I had wanted to tell you that I still can't stop thinking about Evan. It's unfair for me to hold onto you and not be honest with you. I.... want to try and fight what I feel for him. I'm just sorry I hadn't told you sooner... I'm sorry... I really am, Hugo...." Finally, the tears broke free from her eyes, two wet lines rawn down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry..."

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[info]hugoweas
2009-08-05 03:35 pm UTC (link)
Hugo stared in silence while he listened to everything coming out from Jess. She was gripping his hand tightly, but he barely noticed when she told him everything. Evan Pucey...

That's what that fight had been about before. This is what she's been keeping a secret from him for all these months. She'd been hurting for so long... and never told him. And Hugo had thought things were... completely different.

Apparently he'd been wrong. So wrong. She did say she cared for him. But it happened unexpectedly. Strong, but not strong enough. Was he even surprised by this? Who would want him, Hugo Weasley, compared to someone like Evan Pucey. But it made Hugo angry too. Because he knew now the Slytherin had already broken Jess' heart once already.

But what could Hugo do? He was clearly, just a friend. Nothing more. He was angry. Not all at Jess... more at himself. For being so foolish. He saw her tears, which made Hugo even more sad... but he couldn't bring himself to wipe them away. And he pulled his hand out of her grasp. "Does he make you happy?" Really in the end, all that mattered was that Jess was happy.

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[info]littlevaisey
2009-08-05 03:44 pm UTC (link)
It broke her heart to see him pull away. Jess wanted to touch him again, hold onto him harder this time, but couldn't do so with the look he was giving her. She knew this was going to happen, but it couldn't compare to the pain she felt now that was threatening to split her in half. He hated her, and now, how could she change things back to the way they were only minutes before? She couldn't.

"I want to believe he will, and I want to see that for myself, too..." She said, ashamed that even she couldn't give him any certainty. "You make me happy, too, Hugo. So incerdibly happy... so please, don't hate me." she asked, tears falling from her eyes easily. "I... I don't know what I'd do if you'd hate me, Hugo..."

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[info]hugoweas
2009-08-05 05:19 pm UTC (link)
"You can't have it both ways Jessica!" Hugo said suddenly feeling overwhelmed by all this.. She was crying, and trying to tell him that he made her happy too. But it obviously wasn't good enough if she wanted Evan. But then he stopped himself since she may have misunderstood him. "I don't... hate you Jess," he said softer. "I could never hate you," he said closing his eyes for a moment.

He couldn't even be reassured that she would be happy. He wanted to be able to make her happy, but he didn't want to hurt her more by trying to hold her back. Hugo wanted to, more than anything, but he didn't have the strength or the courage to stand in the way of someone like Evan Pucey. "I'll always be your friend Jess. But I can't be that for you right now," he said, not even able to look at her, as he turned to go.

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[info]littlevaisey
2009-08-05 05:35 pm UTC (link)
It was true. His words pierced through her, confirming what she'd been fearing for all along. She was being so selfish by wanting everything, and because of it, she'd manage to hurt such an amazing boy.

It didn't relieve her in the slightest when he'd told her he didn't hate her, and that he'd always be her friend, for after he;d said them, he turned and left. He left her. She watched him go for only a second before she closed her eyes. It was the hardest thing she'd ever had to watch.

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