InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "insane is a new view on things"

Jilleen Adel Simmons (absolutelysheba) wrote in kobols_legacies,
@ 2008-05-02 16:22:00

Entry tags:

( a completed scene), (c) jake mackenzie, (c) jilleen simmons, (l) avalon

Aftermath
Alone in her semi-private cabin with light music playing, Jilleen typed the last sentence of her report on her lap top computer. Her report documented all that took place from her point of view in the hanger earlier and listed the names of witnesses she knew were present. She expected she would take the full blame. She was a Colonial officer, she should have known better than let her personal feelings interfere with the performance of her duty.

Jilleen did not hate the woman, that would be too strong a word. She never gave Jake’s new friend a chance, she wanted to dislike her because she resented the fact that Anika represented the turning of a chapter. One she was not ready to see be turned.

She finished and saved the document on her computer. Her eyes then looked over at her space on the wall over the small desk, the place she kept some her pictures of her family and friends. There were two pictures of her most closest and dearest friend on that wall. One of Bridget in her favorite evening gown, and another with her and Bridget standing together on the patio deck with Jake off to the side at the grill on one summer’s day.

The others on her personal space on the wall, she loved them all just as much and missed all of them. She could let go of them and keep them in her memories, but Bridget was Jake’s wife. Every time she saw him, she would think of Bridget and of her little secret. It hurt but it was a pain she had grown to endure with time, at least she thought.

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jake_mackenzie
2008-05-02 09:38 pm UTC (link)

Jake still wasn't sure exactly what went down in Hanger Bay Thirteen, the scuttlebutt had been conflicting depending on who one asked. The only thing everyone agreed on was that Anika and Jilleen had gotten into an extremely heated argument after Kobe had gotten the bright idea to try and use Sting for a recon mission.

Either way it was all over now, Anika was off Avalon and he'd received a note from the Admiral stating that Jilleen was temporarily relieved of duty. The Colonel still wanted to find out what was going on, and the closest person to ask was Jilleen. He made his way to her quarters and raised his hand to knock on the hatch.

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	absolutelysheba 2008-05-02 10:29 pm UTC (link)
	She was surprised by the knocking at the hatch, before she gave a reply, she wiped away the excess moisture from her eyes that had threaten to break and fall down her cheeks. “Yes, come in.” She remained in her chair with the top button of her blue uniform undone with the extra material flopped over. Her eyed watched to see who would enter. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

jake_mackenzie
2008-05-02 10:46 pm UTC (link)

At the sound of Jilleen's voice giving permission to enter, Jake pressed the button to open the hatch and then walked through.

She was sitting in a chair facing the hatch and looking straight at him as he walked in. Her cheeks were red and it looked like she might have been crying, but he wasn't completely sure. The hatch closed behind him and he stared at her silently for a moment, suddenly unsure what to say.

"I hear you've had an exciting day," He finally told her, deciding that there wasn't any point in beating around the bush. "Care to tell me what happened and why I'm losing my deputy?"

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absolutelysheba
2008-05-02 11:17 pm UTC (link)

His sudden visit caused her face to flush. “So you haven’t heard?” She shifted around completely in her chair to face him.

“I’ve made a scene and said some stupid things.” She admitted while still under the waning effect of her wonderful green pills. “Then there is the little written order I neglected to follow to the letter.”

She looked up at him. “So, how was your day?”

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jake_mackenzie
2008-05-02 11:44 pm UTC (link)

"I haven't heard through official channels, no." Jake replied evenly, moving to lean against a bulkhead across from her. "I wasn't aware you were under any special orders or I would have followed up on it myself." He wondered what the order could be, and why he hadn't been made aware of it.

"As for the scene you made, I've heard different things from different people."

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absolutelysheba
2008-05-03 01:16 am UTC (link)

“Right,” she closed her laptop with her hand . “So you really don’t know?” she studied his face and wondered what he did know. “Admiral Sinclair had ordered me to seek counseling. I didn’t go. Simple.” She snorted. “I’ve got issues, Jake.

“It must have been apparent enough for her do see that. Why didn‘t you? I work with you for gods sake. Not every one can get over...” She stopped and took a deep breath. She felt her anger begin to surface again and that she had to keep it suppressed. “Jake, I’m sorry I didn’t mean it.” She realized she was not being fair.

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jake_mackenzie
2008-05-03 02:57 am UTC (link)

"What the frak is that supposed to mean?" Jake asked incredulously, working to keep his anger tapped down. "You think you're the only one who has issues in this fleet? We've all got issues."

He pushed off from the bulkhead and wandered closer. "I know you went through a lot of bad shit when Pullo was in charge, and you've never been quite the same since. I've cut you a lot of slack because of that, and I hoped that if you had a problem that you'd come to me about it."

"As for counseling sessions, I should have been informed about that when the Admiral ordered you to attend them. The only reason I would have been kept in the dark is if you asked her to....is there something you want to tell me?" His tone was harsh, with a bit of hurt mixed in.

Jilleen was his oldest surviving friend, and he'd put up with a lot of shit for that link to the past. But this slight had cut deeply.

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absolutelysheba
2008-05-03 03:34 am UTC (link)

Jilleen lean in close. “Yeah,” the extra dose in her system caused her to speak more freely. “You win, Jake. You had always been right about me. Remember, Plebe camp…I couldn’t ring the bell because of you. No I couldn’t do that to you, this was the life you wanted. So I endured it. Do you know how I did that?”

Jilleen came up to her feet before Jake, and looked up to his eyes. “I wanted to prove you wrong. I wanted to show you I was more than some petty cheerleader.” She wanted to stop, but continued. “You were right, I didn’t belong. Jake, I just wish…”

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jake_mackenzie
2008-05-03 03:41 am UTC (link)

"That's bullshit!" Jake shot back, angry now and not bothering to hide it. "Don't you try and put this off on me. I gave you the help you needed at the begining, the rest was all you. After plebe summer you could have dropped out at any time, but no, you thrived at Gladius Cross. You loved the cometition, and you graduated top of our class."

He pointed a finger at her. "Not only that, you could have left the service years ago, if that's what you really wanted. Neither one of us are those frakked up teenagers from plebe summer so don't go blaming your frak up on me Jilleen. I've nothing to do with it."

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absolutelysheba
2008-05-03 04:01 am UTC (link)

She stopped and turned her head away and looked at the picture of the three of them on that summer’s day, the one she had been looking at before Jake entered. It changed her mood.

She returned her attention back to Jake. “I can’t lose you,” she said softly and then gasped for air. “I just feel,” another gasp. “so sad inside.” She wanted to be held.

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jake_mackenzie
2008-05-03 04:15 am UTC (link)

"Lose me?" Jake was still angry, but the sudden change in mood hadn't gone unnoticed. "What makes you think you're going to lose me?" Sure he was upset, but that didn't mean he was going to sever all ties with the woman.

"We all have our good days and bad days Jilleen. The trick is to just take each one as it comes." Not to mention staying busy. That was how he'd gotten himself through the first two years: being too busy to have time to sit and feel sorry for himself.

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absolutelysheba
2008-05-03 04:41 am UTC (link)

“Right,” she nodded with disappointment. She was tired of arguing, she had done enough of that today. “We’re soldiers. Frak it drive on.” She nodded again. She had repeated that same mantra over many time since the start of the war.

“I’ve got to change and pack my things.” She turned to walk to her locker, while beginning to undo the buttons of her blue tunic.

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jake_mackenzie
2008-05-04 01:18 am UTC (link)

"All right," Jake didn't bother to hide his confusion. He watched her for a moment and then shook his head. "I'm still your friend Jill, that's not going to change. I hope this time away from the ship and the counseling sessions do you some good. If you need me for something you know where to find me."

With that said, he walked to the hatch and opened it. "Take care of yourself," he told her, glancing back, and then stepped through.

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	absolutelysheba 2008-05-04 02:15 am UTC (link)
	She heard his words as she took her uniform tunic off. “Jake,” she turned to face him as he was about to step out. “I’m sorry for what happen earlier today.” (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

jake_mackenzie
2008-05-04 02:25 am UTC (link)

"You should be," Jake replied, turning to look at her for a moment. "Anika's never done anything to you, and she has issues with the military as it is. I think we'd be lucky if she ever sets foot on a strike group ship again after what happened today."

He stared at her for a moment, watching her hang up her tunic. "When you wear that uniform you don't just represent yourself, you represent all of us. Remember that the next time you're tempted to tear into a civilian for the hell of it."

Jake stepped the rest of the way out and let the hatch close behind him.

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absolutelysheba
2008-05-04 03:11 am UTC (link)

She watched as the hatch slid close. “Jake.” she said in the empty room. Jilleen had not wanted him to leave so soon. Maybe if he had stayed they would have continued to go at each other, but at lease she would not have felt this sense of loneliness.

Resigned that there was nothing she could do about that, she returned to her locker to get herself changed and ready for the next shuttle flight out to Shangri-la.

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