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Tweak says, "What's in the flask, Egg?"

Jilleen Adel Simmons (absolutelysheba) wrote in kobols_legacies,
@ 2008-03-18 15:14:00

Entry tags:

( a completed scene), (c) jilleen simmons

Call
Jilleen stood before Admiral Sinclair. “My apologies Admiral. I was away on the Destroyer Delphi when your message was sent for me to come see you. I’d come straight here upon my return.” The Delphi had been on picket duty on the far outer perimeter of the fleet.

As part of her responsibility, Jilleen had spent her time on the destroyer visiting with the Captain of the Ship and reviewing the ship’s force protection procedures, along with observing a training exercise. The Delphi’s crew was extraordinary; the captain ran a tight ship. The destroyers may not have the glamour of a Battlestar, but they were vital in the defense of the fleet. In the last two years not one civilian ship had been lost to any Cylon attack.

She did not know why the Admiral had called for her to come see her. She could only presume it must be something about the fleet. It not like she had ever had many conversations with the admiral on any other subject.

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admiralsinclair
2008-03-18 09:26 pm UTC (link)

"Come..."

The word had been spoken upon door being knocked. Once the woman stood before her, Sinclair had looked up; the log being closed and pen placed away.

Listening to the explanation, the Admiral gestured to the chair in front of her desk. "Take a seat," she invited, for this might take a little time to deal with. Things were obviously up and the blonde was on her staff. It was necessary to discover what those things could be.

"I noticed your altercation with Captain Tarix, at the wedding reception... Didn't quite hear the words, but was appraised of the highlights, by those within earshot. Mind telling me what the cause of all that was, Major?"

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absolutelysheba
2008-03-18 10:42 pm UTC (link)

She sat in the chair, a fair indication that something serious was going to be discussed. It reminded her of the time when Admiral Pullo had asked her to take a seat at the start of the war to ask her to over see the selection program.

Instead she was surprised by the Admiral’s question. She had hoped nothing would come from her confrontation with Captain Tarix, and thought nothing would have after a day of no mention of it.

Jilleen quickly responded. “I’m sorry, I was out of order.” It was better to admit to bad behavior, because defending your actions only exposes you to more criticism, something she learned from her father. “I had too much to drink.” An exaggeration on her part to excuse her behavior. “It will not happen again, sir.”

Jilleen hoped that she had defused the matter to the Admiral’s satisfaction.

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admiralsinclair
2008-03-19 12:30 am UTC (link)

"Funny," the Admiral observed, "you weren't reported as acting inebriated. In fact, you were rather in command of your faculties."

Sinclair was female. That meant she had a certain measure of intuition and employed it in her daily duties. This was especially true when it came to her staff. There was more to it than a few careless words exchanged over alcohol. Something which Sinclair aimed to show now.

"This isn't the first cause I've had to worrying over your performance, of late, either. It's been... Slipping. And I'd hate to think you were permanently drinking on the job, Major."

She was putting it on the line for Simmons. Demonstrating that she was aware of something going on behind the scenes, even if not being in possession of precisely what. With hope, she would come clean about what it was.

"In the strictest of confidence, is there something you'd care to inform me about...?"

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absolutelysheba
2008-03-19 02:38 am UTC (link)

“Ah,” Jilleen shifted her gaze off of the Admiral and down to the floor to think about how to respond, and to do so quickly with confidence in her own words. She took the admiral’s last statement as permission to speak freely.

She returned her gaze back to the senior officer. “I’m not an alcoholic, sir.” She paused to make certain her statement was clear. “I can’t explain why I acted the way I did with Captain Tarix the other night. It just came out, Sir.”

She combed way a loose strand of her away from her forehead. “It’s more of a personal matter. I was angry with someone else. Tarix had just happened to be there when I unloaded.”

Her abuse of a sedative-tranquilizer was not an issue for her. In her mind she was not an addict. If anything the pills helped her keep it together. It was a wonder drug that helped her get through the day, to help her get to sleep at night and on occasion set her free of her burdens when taken with alcohol or in a double dose. Jilleen had it all under control. She could go with out it … for a few days.

“As for my job performance, sir,” She thought about the leak of the fleet assessment report. “It’s your prerogative to keep me on your staff or not. I serve at your leisure.” A part of her would welcome a demotion, after nearly 3 years of doing the same job, it might be a relief. She felt burnt out any way. The other part of her was confident that no one else could do the job any better than herself.

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admiralsinclair
2008-03-20 12:45 am UTC (link)

"Hmm."

Not quite curt, but to the point. The Admiral had not necessarily been thinking about chemical enhancement and stress was certainly a more widesparead factor in day-to-day fleet operations, than perhaps had been planned for in Standard Operating Procedure manuals. Nobody had really envisaged Cylon victory and having to lead a nomadic existence, thereafter.

They had, quite literally, been forced to rewrite the rule books and, yes, that placed Sinclair at the highest possible echelon of the military hirearchy, but her job was no less of a burden for it. Indeed, it was her to whom people looked to place blame and praise, in equal measure.

Looking down, Sinclair slid over a signed order to the other woman. It had been made in advance. She figured it might be necessary.

"We need you, as much as we need anyone else, Major. But if you've got problems eating into your performance, then lives are on the line. This is so you can start counselling sessions. Everything will be kept in confidence... But whatever it is, you need to work it through."

It was the next logical step. If members of her staff were malfunctioning, then, like any Captain and their crew, the Admiral needed to get someone to provide a remedy. In this case, the realm of mental health.

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absolutelysheba
2008-03-20 04:53 am UTC (link)

Counseling? She said in her mind as she took the written order into her hands. Jilleen glanced at the piece of paper with the trimmed corners. It was on official Colonial Forces stationary. She remained quiet while she read over the order, and took a moment longer after she stopped at the Admiral’s signature. Am I that frakked up? Is it that obvious?

“I don’t know what to say, sir.” She swallowed. Her eyes looked back at Strike Group Commander. She was tempted to make a case that she did not need any such counseling, that she was perfectly fine. She wanted to convince her superior that she had it all together.

The truth was she was afraid.

Jilleen held on to the piece of paper. “Am I…Is my competence to be assessed?”

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admiralsinclair
2008-03-20 08:15 pm UTC (link)

"Performance is always being assessed, Major."

Sinclair did not mean to sound rude. She was being to the point and truthful. She had a duty to make sure her own staff were functioning as optimally as possible, just like the Commanders of individual ships had. The staff were her 'crew', so to speak and capsizing was the last thing she would desire.

"I don't think ill of you, Simmons... You've done a tremendous job, considering circumstances. But something's obviously up and I have no intentoin of letting it fester. Think of this as the support it is - not an official warning. If I wanted you gone, we both know I'd have said so, from the start."

Because that was how, generally, Sincalir worked. She was not one to faff around and bluster. If someone was in the wrong, then she wanted it dealt with. The only exception was when dealing with the politicans - the realm of eternal compromise.

And right now, the blonde was being ordered to do what Sinclair felt might be necessary to bring her back up to speed again.

"Your designated deputy will fill in on the dates and times you need to set aside. It needn't even be public. Any further questions?"

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absolutelysheba
2008-03-20 08:57 pm UTC (link)

“I can think of one, sir. Perhaps it’s more of a request if that is possible,” she was not sure who else the Admiral may have consulted. “Is it possible that the Chief of Staff not be notified of this arrangement? Its no secret that me and him go back a ways. I don’t want him to be worried about me.”

She did not want him acting different around her. If she knew him correctly, she did not want him treating her like some…she didn’t want him treating her like that lost girl at plebe camp, that had been her at the beginning of her cadet life. He carried her through camp. Without him back then she would never have become a Colonial officer.

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admiralsinclair
2008-03-20 09:12 pm UTC (link)

"Confidential," Sinclair nodded, repeating her earlier statement. Not that anybody should have a reason to ask her about it, but the promise was there. Simmons could tell people she was out feeding ducks, for all that Sinclair cared. It was the woman's own business and she had no interest in spreading rumours.

If this did not work for the better, however, then more drastic measures might have to be taken.

"Good luck, Major. Dismissed."

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absolutelysheba
2008-03-20 10:32 pm UTC (link)

Jilleen got up from her chair.

“Thank you, sir.” Her words very sincere. Thankful that she had a commanding officer that took the time to care.

Down deep she knew she had needed some kind of help but did not seek it because of the stigma associated with mental health. It was ironic that she had told others before to seek such help in which she had refused for herself. Now she had permission to seek that help. It lifted some weight off her shoulders.

Jilleen locked up at attention and saluted. In that brief moment, she wondered what kind of burdens that Sinclair carried. Jilleen wondered who Sinclair went to for solace.

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