InsaneJournal

Moonlight
Note: Takes place the night before Dani's wedding and after the Conversation at the Bar



After nearly an hour of tossing and turning, Jake admitted defeat. Sleep was the goal, but even the beers after two long days playing Pyramid didn't seem to be enough to achieve it. For whatever reason he was still wide awake and sleep didn't appear to be coming anytime soon.

"I'm not the one getting married tomorrow, for crying out loud." Jake grumbled, getting up out of bed and digging through his bag for his jogging clothes. Maybe a good run would finally tire him out enough for sleep. "All I have to do is walk Kypros down the aisle and step away. Easy."

Yet he couldn't sleep. He knew exactly why, the impending nuptials were dragging up old ghosts that he'd been trying hard to keep in the past.

Jake finished putting on his jogging gear and stepped out of his cabin to get started on his plan to shed the extra energy.

As Anika floated in the water, head back so her ears were beneath the surface, she felt the weightlessness slowly work its way into her muscles, relieving the ache in her shoulder lightly, the long muscles of her legs floating out and relaxing. The complete muffling of all sound by the small waterfall rekindled memories that were now very much of the past – a time before the attacks, when Bryn was still alive and so much a part of her life…(link to her memory in her post…)

Jake's meandering run had no real destination in mind, he simply decided to explore the ship and see where things led until he felt tired enough to head back to his cabin and get some sleep. After exploring what deck five had to offer (not much) Jake eventually found himself at the entrance to the tropical dome, Anika's words about the rock waterfall and pool still fresh in his mind. A long soak in the warm water listening to the sounds of the waterfall sounded pretty good, maybe that would do the trick.

With that thought in mind, Jake entered the dome and made his way along the path toward the pool. It didn't take long before he was at the water's edge, and the Colonel quickly shucked shoes, shocks, and shirt before diving in.

The warm water felt wonderful and Jake swam deep to touch the bottom before shooting up to the surface.

Until he surfaced and saw Anika Jereldsen's face it never occurred to him that someone else might have had the same idea.

It was disorienting, thinking of one place and believing you’re there, only to suddenly realize you’re not. Anika stared at who her mind had told her was Bryn until she realized it wasn’t. “Jake!” There was no mistaking the surprise and confusion in her voice and face. Eyes were blinking now, fingers rubbing at them before darting looks around them, taking in the surroundings and realizing very quickly where they were.

"Anika," Jake's own eyes went wide as he realized he wasn't the only one in the pool. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize anyone else was here. I couldn't sleep so I went exploring and wound up at the dome." A shrug followed and he kept his eyes firmly on the woman's face, "I remembered what you said about the place and thought I'd give it a try."

"Lucky you found your way here and not down into the bowels of the ship!" she replied with a laugh that was half to cover up her surprise, half from relief. "I decided it sounded like a better option than bed for the moment given my masseuse is still out partying from what I can gather." She didn't even consider the fact she was wearing only her panties, most Virgonese women brought up to be completely comfortable with their bodies regardless of shape and size. "It's the next best thing to a pair of skilled hands when it comes to sore muscles." She pointed up toward where the falls tumbled down over the rocks, a rock ledge just hardly discernible in the shadows. "There's a hot spring up there. It's great too."

Jake glanced up in the direction indicated. He had to strain to see the small ledge a few feet from the base of the falls, but he nodded once he'd spotted it. "Sounds like just the ticket," he told Anika, relieved to see that she was relaxing after her initial startlement. "Care to join me?"

Without seeing if she was following, he swam over in the direction of the hot springs and hoisted himself up out of the pool. A moment later he was settling into the hot water with an audible sigh. "Now this is more like it!"

She nodded and slowly swam across the rock pool toward the rock steps that led up to the hot spring, following Jake wet footprints and smiling to herself at the strange similarities that were cropping up. Without any fuss she stepped into the bubbling water and sank down till she was also sitting on the ledge seat, water bubbling around her shoulders. A large sigh followed as she let her eyes close for a long moment, the warmth of the spring quickly going to work on her. "Yes, it's good, isn't it?"

Jake tried not to stare, but it was hard. Anika was, putting it simply, drop dead gorgeous, and wearing next to nothing as far as he could see. He imagined the water was crystal clear and was fervently glad of the fact that it was dark, it hid a multitude of sins. "Yeah, it is. I'm glad you suggested it."

"Do you come up here often?" Jake hoped his voice sounded casual.

“As often as I can, but usually at this time because it’s the quietest. The other dome is in daylight cycle now so those who are looking for somewhere usually go to it at this time.” She leaned her head back against the rocks, letting her arms float up among the bubbling currents, cushioning them on the bubbling surface. “And not many people know yet they’re now allowing swimming here again. Was some trouble with the filtration for a while so they banned it all, which was a pain.” She shrugged lightly. “But Marcus managed to get it sorted at last.” She lifted her head and looked across at him. “You really haven’t been on a ‘vacation’ since … the fleet left?” she asked, curious.

"No," Jake said simply, forcing himself to relax and to act more natural. He leaned back against the rocks, enjoying the hot water and the good company. "The first year and a half or so there simply wasn't time to have a 'vacation'. I wear dual hats of overall commander of the Air Groups and the Admiral's Chief of Staff, they're both full time jobs in themselves or they would have been Pre-War. They've sort of been melded into a single position with me and its a balancing act."

He sat up and leaned forward as he tried to explain things to Anika. "It was a rough transition, and I had a lot to learn without much time to do it. It simply wasn't a normal career progression, what happened to me. Normally it would have taken me another five or six years at least to make Colonel. It took me that first year and a half to get to the point where I felt comfortable in the job and not feel like I was in over my head."

The transition had been a difficult one. In the space of a few months he'd gone from a Captain and Squadron Commander to Colonel and both Air Division Commander and Chief of the Admiral's Staff, from an officer with dozens of equals and peers to one with only two, both of whom were significantly older than himself.

"I guess I just got used to working all the time."

The talk of the military made her skin prickle and she rubbed her hands up and down her arms, making sure it didn’t look weird, just slowly, as if enjoying the feel of the water bubbling against it. Having remembered Bryn hadn’t helped, his troubles with the military another part of her reason for not liking it.

“So, now you’ve discovered some of the sights on Shangri-la, that might change?” she asked lightly, almost nonchalantly, trying to ignore the fact she hoped the answer was positive. “No flying, no fun… must make for a pretty frustrating time.”

"I think it might," Jake allowed with a smile, watching her. She seemed to be enjoying the hot water, and he certainly appreciated the view.

"Would that be a good thing if it did?"

Her eyes darted up to his face quickly, then just as quickly down to the water's surface again, her shoulder rising and falling in a quick nonchalant shrug. "You tell me. I get to go flying every day, and have fun. Can vouch for it all, and here," she answered, indicting their surroundings.

It was on the tip of his tongue to retort that it was because of his work and others that she was able to fly and have fun every day, but he leaned forward, keeping his eyes on her. "I think I like what I see. I could get used to taking time off now and again, assuming everything runs smoothly."

She leaned her head back on the rocks again, watching him from beneath half lowered lids. "That all depends on the Cylons, doesn't it? And they're not exactly the most predictable, even for toasters."

"No, they're not," Jake replied easily. "All I can do is make sure my people are well trained and that we're ready the next time they make an appearance, if they do. There's no way of knowing, but it would be nice to take the fight to them for once."

She lifted her head a little, eying him curiously. "D'you think you can?" It was something that Bryn would have said. He was never one to sit back and wait for trouble to find him, always out looking to take it down first.

"Depending on circumstances, yes." Jake was confident enough of the men and women in the Strike Group, and the ships they crewed. "We have to keep the fleet protected, obviously, but if the right opportunity came along we'd go after them in a heart beat. Give them a bloody nose and make them think twice about continuing to try to find us."

"You think that might ever happen?" It had been three years. Three long, eventful, dramatic, scary, frightening at times, years. She was luckier than most in that she lived on a ship with the closest simulation of a planet's surface as was possible in space. But so many thousands and thousands of others didn't have that. Maybe they didn't need it, she didn't know, but not having somewhere like this to come to would drive her nuts. It had almost been too much a few times when they had been stopped from swimming. She's almost snuck in on more than one occassion, but after what Marcus had told her about the water treatment systems not coping, and trying to sort them out she hadn't, instead just sitting on the rocks and staring into the water. That was better than nothing.

But not going after the ones who were making the fleet’s life so tentative, so unstable, and the risk of them not being able to settle anywhere for that very same reason, was something that was wearing on everyone’s nerves. She’d heard mutterings on her trips around the fleets, in bars and crew rooms, that people were fed up with it and wanting to strike back. “Take the frakking fight back to the bastards that started it!” one pilot had said after a rough flight trying to check the surface of an asteroid for its structure. A meteorite shower had appeared, small enough it wasn’t detected by DRADIS, but large enough to damage his ship and make the jump back to the fleet nerve wracking.

“D’ you think we could ever get them to leave us alone?”

"I don't know," Jake admitted honestly. "They're machines...I can't claim to know how they think. I guess we have to convince them that it isn't worth the effort to keep it up. We're getting farther and farther from their home base, wherever it might be, their supply lines have to be stretched. How long until it's not worth the expense to keep up the search? Sooner or later they'll have to give up." It was one of the things he prayed for, even if he wanted the chance to take the fight to them.

“Kinda wonder what we ever did to them to make ‘em so pissed at us,” she mused. “You think it will be that it’s too expensive to keep after us?” she asked, puzzled by his comment.

"Maybe," Jake shifted position closer to her from his old spot across the tub. "Space is a big place, and the farther we get from the Colonies the longer it takes for Basestars from wherever the Cylon home base is to travel to keep tracking us. Those ships need to be resupplied with ammunition and fuel, not to mention food and water for any skinjobs that might be on board. The longer we go without detection the more space they have to search to find us. Eventually, hopefully, they'll decide we're too far away to be a threat and leave us alone."

Or, being machines, they could keep expending the resources to continue the search until they found and destroyed the last remnants of humanity. Jake shook his head and pushed that thought out of his head.

She hated the idea of the relentless pursuit and grimaced slightly. “Or we just find a way to blow their frakkin’ Basestar things outta existence, and make ‘em think twice about whether we’re really worth the trouble!”

"So say we all!" Jake agreed enthusiastically, grinning. "Spoken like a warrior."

Her eyes darted up to his face, a moment of shock clear in her eyes before she managed to look down again, mouth twisting into a bitter smile. "Survival instinct, that's all. And not real keen on the idea of being hunted the rest of life. 'specially when I didn't do anything to deserve it but be born!"

"Survival instinct is a powerful motivator," Jake replied, his feral grin softening to a more casual smile. He reached out and touched her shoulder. "You'd be surprised mow much it governs a combat pilot's actions when you're in the thick of it."

She swallowed hard at his words, wondering if … but no, there was no way he could possibly know, or anyone for that matter, and yet it was becoming eerie. “Not just combat pilots,” she murmured.

Jake's eyes clearly showed his concern as the smile faded and he studied her. "Did I say something wrong?" For the life of him he couldn't think of what in his words would cause such a reaction. "Bad memory?"

She shook her head quickly, looking up apologetically. "No, definitely not bad. Just... "

Oh Ladies! That is Bryn's look! "You combat pilots don't hold all the aces," she managed to get out without stammering. And you remind me of him... A small swallow and she managed to compose her face again. "Nor face all the battles," she added, though the battles she was thinking of were no longer a part of their lives. "Or, well at least then you didn't." She gave a small wry smile. "Maybe now.. yeah... "

"Oh yeah?" Jake relaxed as he saw that she seemed to get herself back together again. "So what aces don't we hold?" He teased, trying to get her in a better mood. "It seems to me that I'm doing pretty good."

"Let's just say you might have the black suites, us civvies have the red," she retorted with a small smirk. "And you should know any girl prefers someone with hearts and diamonds, over spades and clubs!"

"Hearts and diamonds hmm?" Jake decided to tempt fate and reached over to touch her face, brushing away some of the hair from her forehead. "I'd say we get our fair share of hearts and diamonds..." he murmured softly, and tempted fate even more by leaning in to kiss her, something he'd been wanting to do for some time.

His touch made her breath catch in her throat, one part of her brain wanting to jerk away, the other lean into it. Before the battle had had time to be resolved one way or the other she realized he was kissing her.

She later wondered if her response was anything to do with where they were, and her memories of Bryn, but she gave up trying to figure it out. At first she didn’t respond at all, the surprise growing like a wildfire in her head, but just as quickly burning off and leaving her suddenly realizing she was kissing him back.

Jake wasn't sure at first if he'd done the right thing, if he'd misinterpreted the signals she'd been sending. But then she leaned into his touch and kissed him back, and he was satisfied that he'd gotten it right after all. His hand moved to cup the side of her head and he intensified the kiss, becoming more self assured and less tentative now that he was certain she wanted this as well.

It had been a long time since he'd felt this way about a woman, since Bridget really.

He wasn't in love with Anika, he didn't know her well enough yet to say that. He did know that she was an intelligent, beautiful woman who'd woken up a part of him that had been dormant for far too long.

It had been a long time, a very long time since she’d kissed a man, or been kissed by one. They never normally got that close, held at arm’s length with a quick laugh and wink before she would walk away. In fact since the exodus and the ‘incident’, there had been only the once, a quick, miserable attempt that had failed and left both parties uncomfortable in each others company for a long time.

So it was almost a shock to her to find that she was enjoying it, the soft stubble of his jaw clearly different to the skin of her current lover. Bethany and Seph had gently drawn her out of her self-imposed celibacy and re-introduced her to how pleasurable it could be…

The touch of his hand to her face, cradling it instead of groping her, the kiss deepening, all contributed to the headiness she was feeling.

Jake brought his other arm to go around her back, shifting position to draw closer to her as he became increasingly caught in the moment.

It was a different experience from his past few times with a woman. The prior times had been all business, there had been no pretense that anything had been going on other than relieving a need. This time there was a definite attraction beyond the physical, one that had been sparked simply through a single chance encounter and a mutual love of flying.

A feeling that caused him to show a tenderness toward Anika that hadn't been seen by anyone since the worlds fell.

Sensuality had been rekindled as her body had been rediscovered – revealed again as a source of great pleasure, and the guilt of the past assuaged through gentle, persistent guidance by Mistress Persephone. But Anika had never imagined ever enjoying this, her mind registering a stream of things both for and against as she felt him draw her closer. Her hands rested on his shoulders, fingers feeling the warmth and wetness of his skin beneath them as lips parted and tentative exploration…

Exploration that was reciprocated on the other side as Jake's lips parted and his tongue responded to Anika's, encouraging the tenative moves on her part. He could feel her hands on his shoulders, the sensation of her warm skin on his increasing his own desire to explore.

While he reminded her of Bryn in so many ways this wasn't one of them. They were as different as could be, and it was a surprise, almost a shock to her, the difference knocking her out of the reverie again, her fingers tightening on his shoulders for a moment before she pulled her head back and blinked, staring at him. "Uh..."

Jake groaned in protest and opened his eyes to look back at her. "What's wrong? You want me to back off?"

He was confused. She seemed to be responding to his attentions but now this. What was going on?

No! Yes! No! Frak!

"Nothing, no, I mean, I'm sorry..." She stopped an inhaled, unable to look him in the eye at first, the similarities to Bryn almost too strong to deny, and her head starting to feel like it wanted to split with the confusion.

"I don't want to lead you on," she said, her voice gravelly, needing clearing before she could speak again. "Just wanna make that clear, and all, so you don't get the wrong idea, because sometimes that happens." Though this time the attraction hadn't been drug-induced, and she had to admit that to herself as she finally met his eyes. "Just don't want any misunderstandings." She hadn't pulled away, his arm still around her, her hands still on his shoulders and her eyes lowering to one as she avoided looking at him again, not wanting to see his reaction.

Jake frowned, then moved the hand that had been on her cheek to tilt her head back up so that he could look her in the eyes. "I'm not gonna pretend I'm not buzzed, but I know what I'm doing Anika."

He kissed her forehead and then pulled his head back just enough to be able to look her in the eyes again. "There's something going on that started before the booze, let's just take it as it comes, ok? No regrets ."

She grimaced, knowing what he said was true and still not willing to admit it, though now it was harder to deny it. Her eyes fell from his to his lips, so like Bryn's in the few moments they were ever still. They had usually been talking, or kissing, or laughing, or teasing, or whatever... Stop it!!

"No regrets," she murmured, her fingers moving up to trail wetly across his bottom lip.

"No regrets," he echoed, kissing her fingers and gently taking them in his hand to pull them away. Now that they'd cleared the decks he kissed her again, this time with a greater sense of urgency and desire than had been shown before. He wanted to explore her, get to know every part of her and make sure they both had an excellent time as it happened.

Two choices here - live in the past, or enjoy the present... It was Persephone's voice that seemed to whisper into her mind, encouraging her. As his hand let go hers they moved to his cheek, feeling the raspiness of skin that hadn't been shaved for more than a few hours, then moving up till they slipped into his hair, and curling through it.

It was so different, yet no less pleasurable, and again the kiss deepened as what had been tentative exploration before now ventured into full blown curiosity and discovery.

Jake let his tongue probe into Anika's mouth, gliding over the full lips and perfect teeth before coming into contact with her own, the kiss deepening and becoming more demanding. At the same time his hand brushed across the smooth skin of her cheek, then sliding down to her shoulder and below as it began to explore the curves that were on prominent display.

She had no idea how much time had passed, 10 minutes, 20 even, breath being drawn in in slower moments as the ebb and flow of the slowly building desires allowed. Finally lips parted, this time a mutual separation, foreheads resting against one another as lungs made the most of the opportunity to do their job. "I think it's getting a bit warm in here," she murmured, opening her eyes and trying to focus on his face.

"A bit," Jake agreed, lungs breathing in great quantities of air as his heart raced. His hands still rested on her skin, but their explorations had paused for the moment. "I think we should jump into the larger pool while we still can, if we stay in this one we might get cooked."

Seeing her agreement, Jake reluctantly untangled himself from her and hauled himself out of the tub and onto the ledge seperating it from the much larger pool of cooler water below. He grinned hungrily at Anika and then offered a wry salute before pushing off and leaping into the pool. "See you in a sec!"

Her head lay back against the edge as she looked up at him. She laughed and twisted around to watch him dive into the other pool, a body height below them. When he'd disappeared she quickly followed. Piercing the surface of the cooler water was a pleasant shock to the system, her neck arching and head back as she curved up and headed for the surface.

Jake had dived deep, down far enough to touch the bottom before shooting back up to the surface. The cooler but still warm water was a pleasant change from the hot springs that had threatened to stew them if they'd stayed in much longer, and Anika's arrival was both heard and felt, the muffled sound travelling through the water along with the displacement wave.

He swam back up to the surface and came up behind her, his hands reaching around to cup her breasts as he pressed against her back. A kiss was placed on one shoulder, then her neck. "Gotcha."

She felt him come up behind her and was about to turn when his arms went round her. Instead she leaned back, head bumping his before finally finding his shoulder and leaning back on it. A shiver ran through her at the sound of the word, nothing to do with the coolness of the water but everything to do with the sense of deja vu. Again.

"You think?" she retorted automatically with a laugh, twisting suddenly and ducking down out of his arms before kicking down into the depths and swimming away from him quickly into the shadows.

A throaty chuckle was his only response as he dove after her and followed hot on her trail. There was no way he was going to let her get away from him, but somehow she'd managed to slip away. The young Colonel rose to the surface, momentarily frustrated but undaunted. He scanned the shadowed areas of the pool, the only places she could hide for long, letting his eyes adjust to the light and studying hard.

"Playing hard to get Anika?" He called out into the darkness. "You can't hold out forever."

She could see him from under the fronds of a palm that dipped down and trailed their tips in the water, resisting the urge to call out, not wanting to give her position away. She had the distinct advantage of knowing the pool there just about better than anyone, spending a lot of nights down here on her own.

Jake slowly and methodically studied the shadows, looking for patterns in the light and the water. Her hard to get act was only adding fuel to the fire and making him anticipate what would happen when he found her all the more. There...by the palm fronds...there was something lighter than the lichen covered rock wall that should be behind them.

He grinned and dived deep, so she wouldn't be able to see exactly where he was or tell by ripples in the water, and swam toward the spot he thought he saw her. Sure enough, when he opened his eyes there were her legs slowly treading water against the wall. For a split second he thought about trying to tug her underwater, but it was discarded due to how close she was to the wall, he didn't want her to hit her head.

Instead, Jake pushed up from the pool floor and breached the surface a split second later, his arms going round her and his mouth claiming hers.

There would be no escape for the pretty civilian this time.

She'd seen him dive down, the darkness making it impossible to follow his direction for long. And as much as she felt the wall was going to impede any chance of escape if he had spotted her she knew she didn't really care. As she felt the surge from deep inside the one heralding his arrival ran up her legs and body, his arms going around her as she laughed, briefly, the sound cut short by his mouth.

Her arms went around his neck as the movement pressed her back against the rocks behind her. There was no room for escape, and there really hadn't been one planned on as she returned the kiss.

Jake pressed up against her, skin on skin, as he kissed her. His kiss was hungrier, demanding. They continued like that for some time, he wasn't exactly sure how long, before he broke off the kiss and started moving his mouth lower. A series of kisses moved down the curve of her neck to her collar bone, and further down.

He wanted to know every inch of her.

Her head bumped back against the rock as she felt the press of his lips move down her throat and across her shoulder. Her hands gripped his shoulders as she tried to fight the sense of deja vu. On more than one night when she'd been in the pool she'd imagined Bryn there with her, memories of him reminding her just how it could be...

And now the dreams were coming to life, right there, in the pool. A soft whimper, throaty purr, and hands stroking back and forth across his shoulders kept her anchored in the here and now. Along with the very real responses of her body. Again thoughts of Seph and her gentle admonishments when Anika had shown reluctance to allow herself to enjoy the pleasure her body craved acted as keys to unlocking her resistance, a resistance that had built up over the years...

"Anika," a throaty whisper escaped Jake's lips in between kisses. The kisses continued to move lower and lower down her body, toward the water line, and his legs worked to keep them both above water. It had been so long since he'd done anything other than relieve frustration, and his own body was responding to Anika's embrace in a very obvious way.

Lips continued down the slope of her breast, down below the water line until they brushed over a nipple and paused to allow his tongue to apply some gentle stimulation to the sensitive flesh.

Her back arched as she pressed up into the touch, the warmth of his mouth in contrast with the cool water. Fingers carded through his hair as her head rolled to one side then lifted from the rock. Eyelids were dragged open and through the slight haze, in the dark, she thought for a moment that it was Bryn. Her eyes widened as she realized it and that it wasn't, and her hand tightened on Jake's shoulder and head, doubt suddenly rising and edging in. It's not Bryn! The memory of others, who hadn't taken no for an answer, joined in and she pushed back, the rock behind her hard and unyielding. "No," she croaked, head shaking from side to side, a tiny hint of the fear in her eyes.

Jake felt her hands tighten on his shoulders and then he was suddenly pushed away, his eyes snapping open as he fell away from her. What was going on? She was saying 'no' but her body seemed to think differently. He wasn't one to force himself on a woman and he started treading water a few feet away, his eyebrows drawn together in hurt and confusion at the sudden rejection.

Why was she looking at him like that?

"What's wrong?" This was the second time she'd given mixed signals and Jake wasn't sure what he should do. One thing he wasn't going to do was force himself on her, and he made sure to give plenty of space.

His confusion only mirrored her own and she shook her head. "I'm sorry." Her tongue darted out, drawing her bottom lip in and her teeth worrying it slightly. "It's not you," she added quickly, realizing she really wanted him to know and believe that. "It's... old stuff," she stammered, not able to tell him. Guilt ran through her as she felt the desire in her own body and tried to ignore it, pushing it aside and finding it harder as she felt the swell of her lips from their kisses.

"Old stuff," Jake repeated, not completely sure whether he believed her reassurance that it didn't have anything to do with him.

The past three years had been hard on all of them, and he had no idea if she'd had to leave anyone behind when they fled the Colonies. It hadn't been easy for him to move past the loss of Bridget, gods knew, perhaps Anika wasn't as far along in her grieving as he.

He carefully reached with one hand to brush her cheek. "What do you want to do? Give me the word and I'll haul myself out of the pool and head for my cabin...or we can continue to see where this goes." If she said 'no' again then it was cold shower time for him...a very long cold shower.

Without even thinking she leaned into the touch. "I... don't know," she stammered softly. It was the truth, because there was such a battle raging inside her, and her body wasn't helping any. She tried to distract herself with silently blaming her sister and Seph, the two having re awoken in her the desire for pleasure long in denial. And as much as she loved those two? There was an underlying need for a man...

This man...

Her hand was reaching up to his, holding it in place, wanting this to be easier but knowing it wasn't going to be. She took a hold of his hand, lowering it as she interlaced her fingers with his. "I don't want to lead you on," she managed to say finally. The dark hid much of his expression and she wasn't sure what he was thinking. One thing she didn't want was to kid herself it was Bryn, and then in the morning realize she'd made a dreadful mistake. The fleet wasn't big enough if that was to happen... but then she realized that it wasn't Bryn who'd been on her mind when they'd been drinking before, or talking when walking back to his cabin. Yes this place always invoked his memory, and if she was honest was why she loved coming here all the time. "I guess I'm just trying to... " Oh to the goddesses what was she trying to say! "This sounds so stupid...." Even without seeing her roll her eyes at herself it was easy to hear the tone of disdain she had at her own actions.

Well...that settled things. Jake mentally rolled his eyes and anticipated a long cold shower in his immediate future. At least he knew she was attracted to him, but there was something holding her back. "Anika...I'd love nothing more right now than to make love to you..." he squeezed her hand and stared into her eyes, willing her to understand what he was about to say. "...but...I'm not sure you're ready for that. I want more than just a quick frak with you and I don't want to take a chance on forcing you when you aren't ready. It would destroy whatever we've got before its really had a chance to begin."

Her eyes slid shut in silent thanks to the goddesses, her hand returning the squeeze as she leaned over and pressed a kiss to his lips. "Thank you," she murmured, a small glimmer of hope now burning in her, that she was right. This man might have gotten through her defenses by reminding her of Bryn, but she started to allow herself to believe that possibly it might also be because he really might be different.

Jake kissed her back gently. "You're welcome," he told her when he pulled back. "I won't ever force you to do something you don't want to do Anika, not in your personal life." That didn't mean he wouldn't force her to do something in her professional capacity as a pilot if the needs of the fleet demanded it, but Jake Mackenzie had never raped a woman in his life and he wasn't about to start.

"Baby steps..." he told her, letting go of her hand and putting a bit more distance between them. He'd have to hide out in here for a while until it was safe to make the trek to his cabin, and that wasn't going to happen as long as he was touching her. "This is new for me too. I haven't courted a woman in a long time, not since Bridget."

A small quirky smile twitched the corner of her mouth as the meaning of his statement became very clear. "What? You think you can control me in my ship instead?" she asked, the hint of teasing creeping in as his hand slipped from hers. The mention of his wife again made her wonder whether she could tell him about Bryn.

Jake smirked. "Only if things really go up the metaphorical creek without a paddle."

She nodded slowly, arms now drifting in the water as they talked. "Just as well," she told him with a small toss of her head. "Wouldn't want to try it anywise as Sting doesn't take too kindly to being messed with either."

"You talk about that little ship of yours as if it were alive," Jake teased her. "I think you're reading too much into its temperament." He knew she was proud of her ship, and she should be from what he'd seen of it. "When am I going to get that chance to see the inside of it and see for myself how it handles?"

"You don't think they are?" she retorted, tilting her head to the side as she looked at him curiously. "Sting didn't get that name for nothing. When the chips are down we've come through 'em together."

"I don't know...each ship does tend to have a unique 'personality' simply because there are so many moving parts and none of them will be exactly the same even if they're the same make and model." Jake said thoughtfully, his arms slowly moving back and forth in the water to keep him upright. "But thinking they're alive or have a mind of their own...that way leads to toasters."

That made her frown, and she shook her head vehemently. "No, it's just their characteristics ... like with a pet, or something. We had quads on my family's property and they were different."

"I guess I can see your point," Jake conceded, seeing where she was going. "I treat my Viper that way sometimes, and sweet talk it when I'm trying to coax a little extra performance out of it."

Her frown smoothed out, glad he had understood, and not trying to compare to 'toasters' any more. The last 3 years had given her enough trouble in that area when people saw her and Bethany together and didn't know them.

"Exactly!"

Jake reached out and took her hand in his. "You know, your love of flying is what really got me interested in you. Sure you're gorgeous and that's part of it, but it was the obvious thrill to fly is what made me look deeper."

"It's the best thing ever," she said, a little gruffly as she tried to switch paths, from defensive to accepting again. "Especially low level. It's what I've missed, really missed, since the ... exodus."

"Another thing we agree on," Jake smiled and kept his hand on hers. "Though low level flying in a Viper is a tricky, especially if you're trying to fly combat air support. One mistake and Bam," his free hand splashed the water slightly, "You're spread out on the hard deck in teeny tiny pieces."

"Yep, and that's the challenge, isn't it?" she teased, tugging his hand slightly. "Where's the thrill if there isn't the risk, huh?"

"Why do you think I still try and keep my hand in the flying?" he allowed himself to be tugged slightly closer. "There's a real thrill in proving your skill in something like a viper...or maybe your Sting." In a Viper though, one typically wasn't just making cargo runs from one ship to another.

"I couldn't imagine never being able to fly again," she told him, nodding in agreement. "Nothing is worth that." She cocked her head to one side. "And if you're very good Sting and I might even let you come along for a ride. You'll have to be on extra special good behavior if you want to get your hands on the controls though," she added with a tease.

"Really?" Jake grinned in amusement. "What would extra special good behavior be? Eating all my veggies, helping little old ladies cross corridors?"

"Keeping your hands in the right places and not pushing buttons marked 'Do Not Touch'," she told him, drawing his arm around her waist and settling his hand in the small of her back. "You think you can do that?"

"I'm pretty good at following orders when I have to," he shifted a bit letting her move his arm. "But you need to know that there are certain buttons you push pretty easily yourself." How in the worlds was he going to get to his cabin at this rate?

"You know, if we stay in here much longer we're going to be more wrinkled than prunes."

She nodded, silently pleased and relieved at his reaction. She tilted her head and reached up, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "Yeah. And it wouldn't do any good you showing up looking all wrinkly tomorrow - best man and all."

"I'm not sure what I am," Jake admitted ruefully after giving her a gentle kiss back. "I think the Bride and Groom are using a mishmash of Virgonese and Aerilon customs and throwing in some things of their own in. I know I'm supposed to walk Kypros down the aisle and give her away, but that's about it. You could have knocked me over with a feather when she asked me."

He reluctantly disentangled himself from Anika and moved to haul himself out of the water. Modesty be damned, if he kept in such close proximity to a nearly naked Anika he'd never get to his cabin.

She let him go and watching him pull himself out of the water, enjoying the view. Water cascaded down his back and legs and she didn't need to wonder how much of an affect she had on him. She turned and made her way across to the edge where some rocks formed steps up out of the water and climb them.

Jake shivered in the cool air now that he was out of the pool, and turned to watch Anika rise out of the water as she climbed out herself. "Down boy," he muttered to himself as he watched her shapely form step onto the deck. He found the rest of his clothes and put on his shirt, leaving the socks and shoes until he had a chance to dry out some, but it was definitely time to think about getting back to his cabin and hitting the sack.

After a long, cold, shower.

"Make sure you wear your dancing shoes tomorrow," he called over to Anika.

She looked across at him and nodded, crouching to pick up her clothes and using her shirt to dry herself a little, at least enough to pull the clothes on without too much struggle. "I'll see you there."