Keys to Wonderland

[written on a sheet of paper that was meant to be a display sign]

Edited: one free samples per person

It's a mess.

Dearest subjects,

it's come to your Queen's attention that- while I have certainly enjoyed our games and festivities, I would like to close on a very big, all-inclusive note.

I'm speaking, of course, of the Masquerade Carnival to be held this Friday, which will take place for the entire day in Town Square. Vendors will be permitted to sell their wares to Carnival-goers if they so choose, but all other business, and all previous orders are to be suspended for the day, so that as many of you may grant me your attendance as possible. Any and all are welcome to attend, and help us celebrate the heroics of our brave fallen soldiers.

Games, masks, and costumes are equally encouraged. Do try to have fun.

-HRH QVRH

If ever I could bring a downpour,

now feels like it would be a nice time.

[Fog]

Consider my bones chilled. I'm not quite afraid of anything- but such blatant sadism on the Queen's part is enough to make my stomach turn.

How are you faring?

[Chessica]

And how've you been?

Apologies My Queen for not bringing you a lot of Oysters so far. I have tried and while I have found the five I have brought you they seem to have become a lot better at hiding. I shall continue to search and bring them to you though, no matter what occurs.

Gotta love that whole 'falling asleep one place and waking up somewhere else' experience. I thought maybe the guys on the tour bus were playing some big prank on me, but I can't seem to find where they went. I'd call them, but my phone battery is low and I'd rather not waste it since I can't find my charger. Guess it's a good thing they left my guitar, since it looks like I might be here a little while and I'll need something to do.

Damn.. does anyone know a good place to get some coffee around here?

Dear People,

While I did have my predictions that I would be bathing in Oyster blood by this time, it appears as if you may need more time.

In which case, the Oyster Hunt is now indefinite, and it now comes with a penalty for not playing the way I want you to. So, for every additional three days that this game continues that I do not have one of their pretty little heads on my mantel, I'll be taking one of yours.

Don't fret, loyal subjects. If you're playing the game already, you're exempt from this weekly drawing. But if you aren't, or have been remaining stationary while I've given you such a fun game to play, you are putting yourselves on a line which I do not think you want to cross.

Are you playing or aren't you? And do feel free to tell me how you feel on the matter. Not that I care.

Oh, and whoever killed my pretty hearts can rest assured that they'll meet the same fate. It's no matter.

- HRH QVRH

To stop some Spades from finding me I had a woman paint a black club over my eye and hand me a cup of tea. It was all very strange, but the Spades ignored me after that so I suppose I should that her. She also suggested a place for me to make some money of my own called The Golden Afternoon. It looked like a nice enough establishment. I'm just afraid that they may not take me considering I'm not use to dancing in such lovely establishments.

I hate going into the basement. It's dank and skittery in there.

Dee should do this herself.

Hrmm... do I know any Hearts?

NOW I'm feeling the love.

Oh, well. It seems like it's as good as any other time to decide to pass by. It seems like I might be staying "around" for a while.

Maybe a little story will make things better, yes?

[Storm]

Darling.

[Rebellion types]

Ah.

What a pickle.

Another ingenious idea from the Queen. It's a great way of getting rid of those who have no right being here.

On that note, I found an Oyster, but as I've never had to capture anything before in my life, I made some rookie mistakes. Of course, that will never happen again. I have learned my lesson. So, I figured, in this case, it might not hurt having a helper. Of course, all the spoils will go to me. My helper could get something depending on the quality of work they do.

Tick Tock Tick Tock Goes the nervous clock. Round and round its whiskers go, but when shall it stop?

For the 'fun' of the games all of my Terrific, Extraordinary, Astonishing, Specialty teas are half off or best offer.

It makes me want to say something about odds and favours, but I don't need any so thanks!

So, I'm 'the most peculiar kitty', now? Peculiar... I like that word.

Words are such funny, fickle things, are they not? I bet, if I wrote a word right now, no two people would look at it the same. That's the lovely thing about words, is it not? They can be everything and nothing all at once, and all because you -- the person reading this, that is -- has already made up their mind about what it is or isn't.

Reasons like that are why I don't like when people try to define me, since who are you to decide what I am, even if it's just what I am to you. You're nothing, that's what. Not from where I'm standing... but none of that matters, right, as you've already made your judgments. Maddening, that, but then again what isn't? Not that any of you lot seem to care.

Oi, Hatter, there's something I've been wanting to tell you. It's about your hat. I.. I've always admired that hat... Give it to me, would you? Bah, I know you won't, but I still had to ask. Honestly though, I really do love that hat. I would wear it to all the finest occasions...

[People of the Rebellion]

As I inadvertently kicked off this whole farce of a competition do let me know if there are any Oysters out there you feel are in need of an Invisibility Token-Charms. These will be given on a case by case basis and not for free, so be willing to offer me something in return.

[Billy (aka Caradoc)/Darius] (separate filters to each)

I've set aside some Invisibility Token-Charms, if you feel a need for one or two.

I know you may be busy with the Queen's new game, but I haven't seen you around much brother we should run into one another soon?

I think it best if you refrained from voicing your opinions to our Queen.

[scratched into a table.]

looks like

we're in trouble,
huh?

Good people, gentle creatures, and tender flowers, the end of our beautiful two-week celebration is almost, but not quite at hand.

Your Queen loves more than anything else to entertain her people, and up until several days ago, I'd completely forgotten about the concept of a nice game. But thanks to the most peculiar kitty reminding me, I do think that there would be no better way than to end the festivities with a game!

Games are so lovely, and while I do love croquet, I've been thinking that it was about time we had a game for everyone to participate in. Participation is not required, by any means, because you cannot force fun, as it were. But anyone caught trying to r u i n my game will face penalties of the highest order.

What is this game, you may ask?

Why, it's a Scavenger Hunt!

Though in this particular case, I do think Oyster Hunt is more appropriate of a term. You see, I think there is some real fun to be gained from trying to rid my beautiful land of the Oyster infestation that seems to have come upon it so very rapidly.

So. You kind, gentle folk, are going to be plucking those little Oysters up, and bringing them straight to me. But not for naught.

There's many a wonderful prize to be had for delivering a live Oyster. Money, status, slaves, whatever your little hearts could possibly desire. If you bring me an Oyster, it shall be yours.

Anyone trying to ruin, cheat, or lie during the course of this game will be eliminated, and I needn't say more.

Now, who wants to play?