Oh, because I am the one who has strange and impossible stories told about them whenever they go. No Shepard, I think we all know that, if any of us are to blame for the currently curious spot in which we find ourselves, that would be you. After all, does not the Captain bare responsibility for his crew?
Jokes aside, it's a shame Garrus isn't here for this one. Or Wrex. Or Jack. I feel like it would be quite the hilarious thing to watch a Krogan wake up wed to a human.