User: jenish (posted by fizzyblogic) Date: 2008-05-03 13:28 Subject: Movin' Right Along Security: Public Tags: crossover:muppets, fandom:bands:aar

Movin' Right Along
{All-American Rejects & Muppets // G // AU // 100% untrue & no claim made, all Muppets and Muppet situations belong to the Henson estate, this work of fiction is not for profit, no copyright infringement intended}

"Everything alright in here?"

The dressing room was crowded. So crowded, in fact, only Kermit's head and one hand appeared around the tiny crack he'd managed to push the door open to. It wasn't that there were a lot of people in the room, there were only five of them. But the dressing room was really only big enough to fit two, maybe three Muppets. And, well, there were five of them.

Toad, as a fellow amphibian, was the one who answered Kermit's question. "Sure thing. Ready when you are." He did have to say this around half of Mike, but Kermit still nodded.

"Well, good, you're on next," he said, turning to shut the door.

"Chris," Tyson muttered as it closed and left them with 15% more room to move, "your elbow is poking my ear."

"Your ear is twice as long as your head," Chris pointed out. "It would be difficult not to poke it, Droopy."

"Look who's talking, Bunny," came the retort.

"I'm a hare," Chris shot back.

"Yeah, and I'm a hound," Tyson growled, tossing his head. One of his ears smacked Mike in the shoulder.

"Hey, hey, no swinging the ears around," Mike ducked. "Or the cats," he added quickly. "This room isn't big enough to swing a me in."

Nick, who was napping under the table, said nothing. Since they were due to go on stage any minute and would rather need to be conscious for that, Tyson crouched down on all fours and yelled "WOOF" in his ear.

Nick started awake with an, "Aroo! Ty, what did you do that for?"

"We're the next act."

"Rise and shine," Toad added, extending a hand for Nick's paw.

Nick tried to shake himself as he stood up, but there wasn't much room and his ears got everywhere.

"All these damn dogs," Chris muttered, grabbing for his drum sticks. He held on to them tightly in the ensuing crush for the door, but once they were all out into the backstage labyrinth they could breathe easily.

On the way to the wings, they passed three chickens in spangly bow-ties, Gonzo in a sequined waistcoat, and Rowlf, who high fived Nick. Kermit was waiting for them in the wings, watching Fozzie, who was on stage and getting cabbages thrown at him.

"The opinions of the person who threw me are not representative of my own," one cabbage piped up, from where it had landed by Fozzie's feet.

"Thank you!" Fozzie beamed at it.

"How's it going?" Tyson asked Kermit.

"Hm. About average," Kermit said, head bobbing in an appraisive nod.

A voice called out from one of the boxes in the theatre, "I've seen Heimlichs that cure better gags than this!"

"It may be time to rescue him," Kermit amended. "You're up." He stepped onto the stage, ushering Fozzie off it and trying for a closing round of applause. Fozzie gathered the cabbages and carried them off the stage with him.

"...and they never ask if we agree with their..." one of the cabbages was saying to Fozzie as he passed.

"Ah, ladies and gentlemen!" Kermit continued. "Please put your hands together, and then apart, and then together again, and applaud for a hound, a spaniel, a cat, a hare and a toad; the wonderful, the fabulous, the All-Muppet Rejects!"

The audience cheered, the Rejects walked on to the stage, and from a box high up came the shout, "But they haven't even played anything yet!"

The accompanying voice added, "We haven't had a chance to reject them!"

The voices laughed, "Doh oh ho ho!", and the band began to play.