Bleach (Soi Fong->Yoruichi) [week 7 - prompt 8]
Title: Coward Author: Cadence Rating: PG-13 Word Count: 300 Summary: To even get used to this is too much.
Sometimes, Soi Fong hates herself. She'd been happy – giddy, for weeks – after she talked with Yoruichi that night. Close to her, like a younger sister? It was more than Soi Fong ever could have asked for. She still occasionally thinks of herself as a child, knowing that she Yoruichi would be her god all her life. It makes her reel at the impossibility of Yoruichi smiling at her.
To even get used to this is too much. There is no way she should ever want more.
And yet, lately, she finds herself looking at Yoruichi, and… adoring her, as usual, but also feeling warm, and not entirely because of embarrassment. Somehow, she wishes Yoruichi would touch her more often.
She takes to training with the sword in all her spare moments, and doesn't think too hard about the hope that Yoruichi will guide her strokes again. Her focus backfires, of course; before too long Yoruichi declares her technical skills adequate and tells her to ease off.
Then one day, while Yoruichi is lounging around and trying to provoke Soi Fong into conversation, she pauses mid-tease to grin – and Soi Fong realizes that she really wants to kiss her.
She blushes hard and can't form words without stammering until Yoruichi dismisses her.
It's ridiculous, of course. It's inappropriate – it's so beyond her place that she can barely comprehend it. Besides that, Yoruichi sees her as a sister. If Soi Fong lost Yoruichi –
Well, she'd have no one. She'd have no lady to follow, her family would disown her, and –
She shakes at the very idea and resolves to never think of it again.
A month later, Yoruichi is gone. Soi Fong is beyond dizzy with grief and betrayal, and still she can't help but think that she's a coward to have not done something.