Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I'm a comfortador."

abby (egoldstein) wrote in in_seattle,
@ 2008-10-26 18:26:00

Current mood:

cheerful

Photobucket

Hey, I'm Abby and I'm part Elf. Just take a moment to check out the ears, would ya ? Anyway, I feel as though Elves are highly misrepresented in the mainstream media and would like to set the record straight if I could. For starters, we hate Santa Claus. He's more like a slave owner than a friendly old fat guy who we volunteer to help build toys for. Sorry to burst your bubble, kids. And please, please, never confuse us with fairies. Fairies are sluts really who love to start trouble and steal shit. The tooth fairy is the worst. She steals your teeth, we're the ones that come in after that bitch and offer money up. We're good natured like that and don't like to see kids cry.

If you have anymore questions, please feel free to ask. I won't get offended.

I'm also a pathological liar but don't let that get in the way of us being friends.

(Post a new comment)

	_dolce_ 2008-10-26 09:06 pm UTC (link)
	I think there's a troll sleeping with my best friend. Can elves do anything about trolls? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	egoldstein 2008-10-26 09:11 pm UTC (link)
	Sure. For the right price. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_dolce_ 2008-10-26 09:14 pm UTC (link)
	What's the going rate? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	egoldstein 2008-10-26 09:18 pm UTC (link)
	About eighty bucks and a jar of Vaseline. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

_dolce_, 2008-10-26 09:21 pm UTC

egoldstein, 2008-10-26 09:31 pm UTC

_dolce_, 2008-10-26 09:46 pm UTC

egoldstein, 2008-10-26 10:20 pm UTC

	incongruous 2008-10-27 12:37 am UTC (link)
	No. Really. He is a troll, isn't he? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	egoldstein 2008-10-27 07:02 am UTC (link)
	Are you the friend in question? The one with the big vagina? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	incongruous 2008-10-27 02:53 pm UTC (link)
	It's possible. Wanna come out on Halloween? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

egoldstein, 2008-10-27 05:57 pm UTC

premington, 2008-10-28 01:14 am UTC

incongruous, 2008-10-28 03:39 am UTC

	beckett_ 2008-10-26 10:31 pm UTC (link)
	As long as you pay the rent, I don't care what occupation you claim to have. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	egoldstein 2008-10-26 10:36 pm UTC (link)
	I'm working on it. Geez. SIMMAH down. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	beckett_ 2008-10-27 12:31 am UTC (link)
	Welcome to Seattle. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	egoldstein 2008-10-27 07:03 am UTC (link)
	Thanks shark girl. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

beckett_, 2008-10-27 02:54 pm UTC

egoldstein, 2008-10-27 05:58 pm UTC

	evanhartwell 2008-10-27 01:38 am UTC (link)
	You know, the elf ear thing was always my shtick. I might have to sue for copyright infringement. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	egoldstein 2008-10-27 07:00 am UTC (link)
	You've got shaggy hair. You're more like a troll. Stop trying to be like me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	evanhartwell 2008-10-27 06:59 pm UTC (link)
	Sorry, but I'm going to keep trying. In fact, the only reason my hair's shaggy is because I'm growing it out to look like yours. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	egoldstein 2008-10-27 08:24 pm UTC (link)
	Ooh snap! I know you! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

evanhartwell, 2008-10-27 10:07 pm UTC

egoldstein, 2008-10-27 10:11 pm UTC

evanhartwell, 2008-10-27 10:41 pm UTC

egoldstein, 2008-10-28 08:37 pm UTC

evanhartwell, 2008-10-28 10:02 pm UTC

egoldstein, 2008-10-28 10:50 pm UTC

evanhartwell, 2008-10-29 12:33 am UTC

egoldstein, 2008-10-29 07:06 am UTC

	way_ward 2008-10-27 01:42 am UTC (link)
	If you're elf, I'm a hobbit. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	egoldstein 2008-10-27 07:01 am UTC (link)
	Elves are better looking. Hobbit's have big feet and are addicted to internet porn. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	way_ward 2008-10-27 12:42 pm UTC (link)
	By those standards, I'm not a hobbit after all. My feet are too small. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	egoldstein 2008-10-27 06:00 pm UTC (link)
	Maybe you're a deformed hobbit? I've got a retarded cousin. It happens. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

way_ward, 2008-10-28 11:14 am UTC

egoldstein, 2008-10-28 10:54 pm UTC

	quick_stop 2008-10-27 10:20 am UTC (link)
	Actually, you being a pathological liar increases our likelihood of being frinds. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	egoldstein 2008-10-27 06:01 pm UTC (link)
	Fantastic. No -- really, I mean that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	quick_stop 2008-10-27 07:18 pm UTC (link)
	Sure you do. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

egoldstein, 2008-10-27 08:25 pm UTC

quick_stop, 2008-10-27 08:38 pm UTC

egoldstein, 2008-10-27 08:42 pm UTC

quick_stop, 2008-10-27 08:52 pm UTC

egoldstein, 2008-10-27 09:03 pm UTC

quick_stop, 2008-10-27 09:12 pm UTC

egoldstein, 2008-10-27 09:19 pm UTC

quick_stop, 2008-10-27 09:25 pm UTC

egoldstein, 2008-10-27 09:46 pm UTC

quick_stop, 2008-10-27 09:52 pm UTC

egoldstein, 2008-10-27 09:54 pm UTC

quick_stop, 2008-10-27 10:18 pm UTC

egoldstein, 2008-10-28 08:41 pm UTC

quick_stop, 2008-10-29 10:18 am UTC

_lynnie
2008-10-27 04:52 pm UTC (link)

Full blooded elves leave something to be desired. Much like trolls. Part elves might be more acceptable. I dunno, I'd have to see for myself. But the fact that you're a pathological liar means you're amazing, and the amazing might very well actually cancel any bad parts about your elvish heritage out.

Also, hi. I'm Lynnie. I talk too much for my own good, and I party even more than that. Do .. elves party?

PS. How much would it take to get Legolas to show up in Seattle? I always was a fan of tall, blonde, and dreamy.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

egoldstein
2008-10-27 06:12 pm UTC (link)

Exactly. They're kinda cocky. They're all, " I'm full blooded .. blah blah blah.. " It's kind of annoying and causes some pretty gnarly fights when everyone gets together for Sunday dinner -- but I deal.

Do you want to party with me Lynnie? Cause I'm totally up for that. It's in my blood. Most party planners are really actually elves. And it's ok if you talk too much. I have awesome elf ears and I can block the sound of your voice out, if I want.

PS. He won't come to America anymore. He had a bad break up in July with a guy from LA named Sparkle. Ever since then it's like pulling teeth trying to get him out of Middle Earth. Such a drama queen!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_lynnie 2008-10-27 07:46 pm UTC (link)
	You poor thing. You should just go all light saber on their asses. Use the force, Elvish. If I could find a good party around here, you'd be the first to know. PS. What if there was begging? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

egoldstein, 2008-10-27 08:28 pm UTC

_lynnie, 2008-10-27 08:32 pm UTC

egoldstein, 2008-10-27 08:47 pm UTC

_lynnie, 2008-10-27 08:51 pm UTC

egoldstein, 2008-10-27 09:06 pm UTC

_lynnie, 2008-10-27 09:08 pm UTC

egoldstein, 2008-10-27 09:22 pm UTC