Wed. 30th November 2002 • The Wizarding World's Beguiling Broadsheet of Choice • 7 κ
Another Pureblood Attacked
By Eleanor Bledsoe, G.H.B.I.C.M.
Two unidentified members of the Wizards Against Purity terrorist group attacked notable socialite Pansy Parkinson during Sunday’s St. Mungo’s Benefit Gala.
Very little is known about the attackers, but according to details released by the Ministry, the two did not have invitations to the party. They bypassed stringent Ministry security easily- by simply dressing as members of the waitstaff. Once inside, they changed clothes and joined the regular guests.
Parkinson was approached in the gardens outside the ballroom, and a brief scuffle ensued. However, before the assailants could victimize another Pureblood, an as-of-yet unidentified Hitwizard (perhaps the only Ministry employee to actually do his job that night) rushed to Miss Parkinson’s aid. The two escaped before they could be apprehended, but one of the attackers left a wand behind. The Ministry is actively working to trace the wand back to its original owner, which could be a huge break in locating a terrorist group that so far has been bafflingly elusive.
It is unclear if Miss Parkinson was specifically targeted by the W.A.P. due to her social connections and recent political activity, or if the attack was simply one of convenience that night. She was treated for minor injuries at St. Mungo’s Hospital and released late Sunday night. As of press time, Miss Parkinson was unavailable for comment.
The Ministry made no official statement, but Christoff Blakehart, interim Minister of Magic, briefly acknowledged the newest attack during Tuesday’s press conference to discuss the new Minister elections in February. He stated only: “The Ministry is diligently working to apprehend these criminals, and urges its citizens to continue their diligence.”
The Diagon Alley 10 p.m. curfew, which many had hoped would be lifted in light of the holiday shopping season, is still in effect, and has been extended to additional popular Wizarding areas, such as Hogsmeade Village. The Wizengamot will convene this week to discuss whether or not the curfew should be scaled back to sunset, rather than 10 p.m.
Werewolf Laws Pass During Monday’s legislative session, the controversial Werewolf Protection Act narrowly passed the majority vote needed to enact the bill into law. The bill had been repeatedly tabled due to requests for extended deliberation, but ultimately passed by a margin of only five votes.
Three new provisions will go into effect on December 12. The first requires that all werewolves be registered with the Ministry and report to the Ministry on nights of the full moon so that they can turn under full supervision. The second requires that all registered werewolves submit to regular Ministry tracking, and the third prohibits any unsupervised contact with children under the age of 17.
Members of the legislature, who asked to remain off-the-record, stated that much of the debate concerning the new law centered on the provision concerning children. “Some of us had a hard time of it,” said one member, “but ultimately, we all agreed that the laws are necessary to prevent additional attacks on members of our community.”
All werewolves currently registered with the Ministry will be required to submit to interviews and Ministry tracking before the laws go into effect. Any werewolves who refuse these new procedures will be taken into custody until they comply.
It’s been a busy week, loves. Let’s jump right in.
Lavender Brown receives her obligatory mention this week, if only because her life is such a sad little trainwreck that we can’t seem to turn away from. Rumours are flying that Brown has already left the romantic little bungalow she shared with Bill Weasley and has headed back home to live with Mummy and Daddy. Thankfully, Brown has dozens of friends to fall back on while her marriage falls apart… oh, what? She doesn’t? Tear.
Speaking of failing marriages, newlyweds Clint Warrington and Daphne Greengrass-Warrington are already hitting a snag in their perfect pureblood marriage. Mister Warrington has been spotted hitting almost every pub in London, while his wife sits at home and gets fatter and fatter. Don’t worry though, Daphne. You’ve only got a few more months until the Ministry nullifies your marriage anyway.
Fleur Delacour, former werewolf’s wife, has grown bored of her affairs with soon-to-be married men and has instead developed a taste for something a little darker. Delacour was spotted in the company of former Death Eater Blaise Zabini. The fact that the two fought on opposite sides of the war doesn’t seem to have impacted their sexual chemistry.
Too bad Ginny Weasley didn’t have the same sexual spark… after being unceremoniously dumped by Zabini for her ex sister-in-law, Weasley reportedly has been drinking up a storm- and been spotted more than once in Knockturn Alley. Is she following in the footsteps of her current sister-in-law? For the sake of the gossip pages, lets hope so.
Roger Davies, fresh off his breakup with mediocre Potions Mistress Mandy Brocklehurst, has apparently lost his taste for veela and is instead going back to his standby leggy, blonde and gorgeous- though this time with an added dash of werewolf. Davies was spotted with Hannah Abbott this weekend, and it seems like London’s newest werewolf is a perfect fit for one of London’s biggest playboys. Will it last? Only until he knocks her up, probably.
Former Quidditch star Oliver Wood was a drunken mess at this weekend’s Gala, just a few days after creating an embarrassing spectacle at his mother’s funeral. After physically assaulting Penelope Clearwater, Wood then went on to sexually harass Ginny Weasley before being escorted out of the ballroom. At least he knows how to stay relevant.
Katie Bell was also an embarrassing display- crying for hours in the ladies’ loo after spotting ex-lover Marcus Flint dancing and romancing with Astoria Greengrass. Bell recently took up a flat across the hallway from Flint in an effort to simultaneously stalk and/or woo him back, but Flint has clearly demonstrated he is interested in shagging anyone but the Puddlemere Captain.
That’s all for this week, but see you soon, darlings!