InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Not my gum drop button"

Arcturus Clinton Warrington, III (mynameisclint) wrote in impetuousrpg,
@ 2011-11-22 18:44:00

Entry tags:

char: clint warrington, char: daphne greengrass

Who: Clint and Daphne
When: Tuesday Night
Where: Their flat
What: Idk
Status: In-progress
Rating: Idk? Language.

Clint was having a hard time. He didn't understand why Daphne wanted to keep this from his mother. It really bothered him. He loved his mum and she'd be so bloody happy over it and... yeah, he kind of wanted to share that with her. His family had little enough to be happy about since Lyssy died and this was a good thing. The fact tha Daphne seemed ashamed... well, maybe it was that she was more scared than anything was driving him mental. He didn't know how to handle it. Instead of fighting with her, he just said something shitty and would leave because he really had no desire to raise his voice to his pregnant wife. He loved her. He really did but her insecurities could drive a Saint to drink. Running a hand through his (awesomely perfect) hair, Clint finished off his last shot and pushed off the bar stool. He payed his tab and decided he ought to head home. Things had been shite lately and he was tired of it. He wanted to fucking be happy. He wanted to tell the world he was going to be a dad and bloody enjoy his marriage and he couldn't do any of that because of W.A.P. and the fucking Ministry of Magic.

Rolling his neck, he headed out the door and decided to walk the ten blocks home. It was cold and crisp out and maybe he'd start to feel in the holiday spirit. Marcus was a fucking disaster. He'd never seen his mate so shut down before and he didn't know how to fix it. His bastard half-sister was pretty much just as broken and he couldn't fix that. The few happy things he had... well, they weren't really even all that happy. Daphne thought she was fat and he really wanted to touch her little baby bump but was afraid she'd go cry in the loo and cut herself or some shite. He couldn't deal. Life was too stressful. He couldn't dump his problems on Marcus. He couldn't talk to his mother. He couldn't talk to Daphne. Clint felt alone. Utterly and completely alone. Hell, he'd considered owling Bell but somehow, owling your raped sister about how you wanted to tell your mum about your baby just seemed wrong.

Lost in his thoughts, Clint barely noticed the flurries as he walked into his building. Idly dusting the snow off his head, he headed inside. Standing outside his door, he stared at it. He really didn't want to go in there. He wanted to have some fucking fun and enjoy his life and his marriage and his baby. "Fucking hell," he groaned, pushing the door open and heading in. It was warm and nice and it smelled like Daphne. Her cat came running to the door and crawled up his leg, digging it's ugly claws into his pants. He stared down at the ugly thing and shook his head and just walked, cat attached to his pants, and headed into the kitchen. The kitten crawled up his back and he winced, rolling his eyes as Quasi spread out across his back as he made coffee. Sighing, he moved to the fridge and stared. He really ought to make dinner.

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laurales
2011-11-23 02:10 am UTC (link)

Daphne had been feeling increasingly more alone in this whole thing over the previous few weeks. She understood that Clint had a busy practice schedule and social obligations to live up to, but....she'd just expected him to want to be around some. She'd gotten lucky and had barely had any morning sickness. Her hormones had been mostly normal....but she'd had one or two small moments, that she still swore were completely rational, and it was like...he was constantly afraid that would be a normal thing if he spent time around her. So she'd gotten used to just....keeping quiet. For the rare times that Clint decided to be near her - not that he was always out but he definitely spent a fair amount of time in the library - she didn't want to upset him or anything so she'd tried to just...not say anything. It was like he was completely incapable of handling her at all.

She'd gone to bed early after having a hot bath, figuring Clint had gone out when he hadn't come home after practice. She'd been tired and it wasn't like she had any set schedule for just sitting around the house, not to mention that she rarely bothered waiting up for him anymore. It was...difficult. Pregnancy was oddly exhausting and she still had 2/3rds of it left to go. At first, Daphne had had a hard time falling asleep if Clint wasn't there with her, but she was growing increasingly used to it. It was almost weird to try to fall asleep with him next to her these days. Usually she'd be in bed before he came home and only wake up for a few brief minutes when he got home

A few hours after having fallen asleep, she woke up with a start, sitting up quickly in bed and almost instantly groaning from the quick movement. She was about to just lay back down and try to get back to sleep, not really sure what had woken her up in the first place, when she heard noise coming from elsewhere in the flat. Deciding to check it out, she slowly got out of bed, giving a quick yawn before reaching for a sweatshirt with the neck cut out of it and pulling it over the tank top she'd been wearing, letting it hang off one shoulder slightly. She looked down for a moment, still trying to get used to the bump. It was slightly visible through the sweatshirt and she gave a sigh. Being pregnant was hard.

Wrapping her arms around herself, she left their bedroom, glad that they had the floors charmed to stay heated since she hadn't thought to put any sort of socks on or anything. Heading for the kitchen where the noise was coming from, she leaned against the entrance, having expected to see Astoria getting something to eat. At the sight of Clint, however, she lazily ran a hand through her hair, her curls falling loosely over her shoulders, as she gave him a small smile. "Hey," she said quietly, still semi-waking up. "How was your day?" she asked, the question being almost automatic at this point.

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mynameisclint
2011-11-23 02:30 am UTC (link)

Clint glanced over at his wife and gave her a smile. It didn't quite reach his eyes. Pulling out some sandwich meat and condiments, he plucked the kitten off his shoulder and put him down. It didn't last long. Quasi was crawling up his leg again and he sighed. He hated that fucking cat. Ignoring the kitten, he set his stuff on the island. "Was okay," he said, shrugging. "Practice and the usual. Nothing special." It had been a dull day and Flint seemed to want to push them all harder and get all his frustrations out at practice. Or maybe that was just Clint. He'd knocked the fuck out of a reserve today and the bloke had broken a wrist. Yawning, Clint went back to making his sandwich, realizing he never knew what to say to Daphne anymore.

That reminded him. He needed to owl Penny and find out what was going on with his first edition of Beedle the Bard. He wanted it by Christmas, if that was at all possible, but he had a sneaking suspicion it'd take a little longer. Pulling out a bag of crisps and a packet of biscuits, Clint took a bite of his sandwich. It was shit. He really wanted a fucking steak but was too tired to bother with it. Quasi ran across the counter and Clint just raised a brow at the kitten. Fucking thing didn't need to be on the counter. Weren't cats and their shit boxes bad for pregnant women?

"How was yours?" he asked, knowing what her answer would be. She didn't do much but sit around the flat. He'd hired people to look after her but she must've been to scared to leave cause he ended up dismissing them. His eyes flickered to the slight cling of her sweatshirt to her stomach. Fuck. There was a baby in there. It was getting more real and he wanted to be excited about it but her lack of enthusiasm and his need to not shove his feelings off on her had kept them very distanced lately. It was a mess. "How's your sister? She's been going out." His wards went off and alerted him whenever someone entered or exited the flat.

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laurales
2011-11-23 02:52 am UTC (link)

This sucked. When she asked about his day, she really did want to know how it was. Not some brush off vague answer. This was turning into the sort of marriage she'd been prepared for, not the one that Clint had promised her, and it caused a tight pain in her chest to think about at times. "I'm glad it was okay then," she said with another small smile, though that faded as she frowned, watching him with the cat. It didn't take a genius to realize he didn't like it. But, well, Daphne did. And the cat on occasion gave her some genuine attention which was something she'd been craving lately. When it ran across the counter, she glared at Clint for a moment for not stopping it before quickly stepping forward and lifting it off the counter. That was no place for a cat and she certainly didn't let him up there at any other time, so Clint's presence didn't change that.

But instead of putting the cat down, she held it to her chest since it was pretty clear she wasn't getting any sort of hug or kiss from her husband. "My day?" she asked, having been paying attention to the cat when he asked her. "It was....it was a day. I've been really tired. And hungry. But...everything smelled gross," she said with a small shrug. It hadn't been enough to get her sick or anything but it had definitely turned her off of food for most of the day. "The Healer said that even though I'm going to be feeling more tired, that now is a good time to get some exercise in so I ran a little," she said, slightly rambling now. He probably hadn't even wanted a real answer so she didn't know why she was bothering. He seemed way more interested in that sandwich of his.

"Astoria's good, I guess. And yeah, she has been. I think she said something about a friend's place," she said with a small shake of her head. She'd given up on trying to control Astoria a long time ago so if she had some friend that she felt safe with, then that was good for her, Daphne supposed. Maybe Daphne should follow her lead and start paying more visits to Pansy or someone. Of course, she really just wanted to spend time with Clint. But that was starting to get...painful. They'd used to get along so well and now she barely felt connected to him. She wish she knew how to fix it but she honestly felt clueless about what to do. Keeping her cat in one of her arms, her other hand rested on her stomach for a brief second before returning to the cat, still trying to get used to having something there for it to even rest on in the first place. Maybe she'd just go back to bed. "Boy or girl?" she asked randomly before looking up at him. "Which are you hoping for?"

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mynameisclint
2011-11-23 03:00 am UTC (link)

Clint nodded in all the appropriate places as he listened to his wife talk. He had nothing to say to any of that. He didn't know what was making her sick. He was kind of afraid to ask, honestly. Clint knew he wasn't being the best husband but it wasn't like she went out of her way to come talk to him in his library or include him on, well, really anything. He had his cousin pissed off at him because she wasn't included in this blessed family event. His sister was- fuck. Who even knew. Not to mention Astoria running off in the middle of the night doing Merlin knew what. Then there was his wife. She was just there. It felt like she made no effort anymore and that just made him tired and not want to do shite.

"You should get a trainer," he said, randomly. "Someone who's trained pregnant women before." He'd read all the books and how her heart rate wasn't supposed to exceed a certain number of beats and all that. "It'd probably be safe that way." Taking another bite of his sandwich, his gaze followed her hand to her stomach and he raised a brow. That was the first time she'd done that in front of him. It was weird. He was itching to touch it but she'd probably cry or something and then accuse him of calling her fat.

Her question caught him off guard and he looked up, meeting her gaze. "Girl," he said, without thinking. "Because I have a feeling that if it's a boy, you won't let me get you pregnant again." He wasn't sure where that had come from but it was the truth. Daphne didn't seem to want to be pregnant and Clint wanted a couple kids. Maybe three. He'd loved having a sister and he wanted his son or daughter to have that, too.

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laurales
2011-11-23 03:27 am UTC (link)

It wasn't hard to tell that Clint was nodding as she talked just because he felt he was supposed to. It was frustrating, really. He seemed so disinterested in her and everything else and she wasn't sure what to do. He couldn't even leave practice early for one day for her last check up which had actually been a pretty major milestone in the pregnancy. Setting the cat down, she rand a hand through her hair again before crossing her arms in front of her, causing the fabric of her sweatshirt to pull a little tighter, accenting her small bump more. It was completely ridiculous, she was sure, but all she wanted was to know that Clint still cared. Because if he did, he was making it almost impossible to tell. She just wanted a hug or an actual smile or something but instead she got forced smiles and empty nods. It was frustrating.

"I'll, erm....I'll look into that then. I didn't realize there were people who worked with pregnant women," she said, unsure what else to say. If she told him she didn't want one, he probably would have gotten annoyed or something. And maybe someone else to talk to for a while would be good. Couldn't hurt, right? Plus, if it kept her more healthy, that was definitely a bonus. And maybe someone who was used to working with pregnant women would be able to help her get a little more excited about this whole thing. Because right now? It was hard to be excited about something growing inside of her when she felt so disconnected from the person she was supposed to be sharing it with.

Her brow furrowed slightly when he automatically answered about wanting a girl. Didn't most pureblood males want, well, males? To carry on their lines and all that? At his next sentence however, she looked down for a moment, smiling slightly as she pushed a curl behind one of her ears. He had a point. She really didn't want to have to have a lot of kids. But she'd sort of assumed the same thing from him too. "You want to get me pregnant again?" she asked as she looked back up at him with a slightly raised eyebrow. "We're only a third of the way in and we can barely talk to each other," she said with a small laugh. If this was how every pregnancy was going to go, she definitely didn't want any more. But it was sweet that he did. Even if it was probably more about the kids than her but...still. "How many kids do you want?" she asked, feeling like this was the sort of conversation that most married couples had probably already had by this point.

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mynameisclint
2011-11-23 03:41 am UTC (link)

Clint watched her reaction and noticed the smile. It was nice. She never smiled. Finishing off his sandwich and stuffing some cookies in his mouth, he grabbed a glass and poured some milk, finishing his dinner off. Walking around, Clint leaned against the counter, eyes once again on her stomach. It was so strange to see visible proof that there child was growing inside of her. It was a little weird. He barely heard her but at her words, he looked up. They did barely talk. "We should change that," he said, simply. He just felt that she didn't want him involved with her pregnancy. It was stupid but he'd wanted to go to her Healer's appointment but he'd had practice. The last game before mid-season break and she'd told him the day before. Flint pushed them hard the Thursdays's before games...

"I want two or three," he said, shrugging. She clearly didn't want kids. He didn't think she even wanted the one they were going to have. That made him a little sad, actually. If it was a boy, he had a feeling he'd never get the family he'd like to have. Course, if she didn't want more, he wasn't going to force it on her or anything. They could stop after this one. Whether it was a girl or boy. He didn't care. It wasn't like his daughter couldn't run shite if she wanted to.

He stood in front of her, letting his hands slide to her waist. It had thickened and his fingers brushed over the rise under her sweat shirt. Leaning down, Clint let his lips trail over her ear and he pulled her closer. He'd missed her. Missed his wife. Missed Daphne. They'd been so distant and he couldn't stand it any longer. Everything in his life was going to shite and he wanted his wife back. The one who he'd been happy with just after their wedding... before she'd been pregnant and things changed. "But we can stop after this one if you want," he murmured.

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laurales
2011-11-23 04:56 am UTC (link)

Daphne nodded. She would like for them to talk again, even if it was about nothing important. But every time she felt the need to make an attempt, she second guessed herself. She didn't want to be any more of an imposition to him than she already was and she figured if he wanted to talk, he would just come to her. That's how it was supposed to work, really. As a female pureblood who'd basically been bred for marriage and breeding, she'd been raised that a woman didn't speak unless spoken to. And really, Clint was always so busy with work that she didn't want to make him feel obligated to talk to her. But they'd been best friends the whole time they'd grown up, so why should things be different now that they were married? Well, Cal made things different. He made her different and it was still a little hard to revert back to who she'd been before. But she was trying.

Two or three? "That's not so bad. I could...we could do that," she said with a small nod. Well, she supposed that was better than those people who wanted ten. Or more. She could....maybe do two or three. Though, she doubted he'd want anymore with her after the first one. Once he saw what a horrible mother she was, he'd wish they'd never had any in the first place. She looked down for a moment, wondering what she was going to look like when her belly got bigger. Maybe she'd end up liking it? The Healer kept saying that eventually the hormones that made women excited to be a mother would kick in. They didn't seem like they ever had for her own mother, but maybe she'd be different? Maybe she'd really like being pregnant. It was a bit of a stretch but...she could try to be hopeful at least, right?

She looked back up when he moved in front of her, trying not to tense when his hands rested on her thicker waist. She hated gaining weight. But it was for the baby, right? That's what she kept trying to tell herself and maybe some day that would actually make her feel better about the whole thing. She inhaled when his fingers brushed over her bump. He hadn't really gone out of his way to touch her there yet. Which had been...disheartening because weren't future dads supposed to do that or something? Maybe she'd feel less fat and more pregnant if he did that more often. When he pulled her closer, she let her head rest against his chest as her arms wrapped loosely around him. "Let's just....make it through this one first," she said with a small laugh. But really, it wasn't like she was going to deny her husband a big family if that's what he wanted.

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mynameisclint
2011-11-23 05:33 am UTC (link)

Clint had wanted to feel this forever but he'd been too concerned that any acknowledgement of her weight gain or the way her body had changed would freak her out and send her into some sort of neurotic spiral. Sighing, he let his fingers splay over her abdomen. It was so fucking weird to think his child was in their. Their child. Fucking hell. Smiling, he brushed a kiss over her hair. It was nice. This is what he'd wanted for a while and she hadn't burst into tears and that was good. He was glad for that. He didn't want things to be so strained between them. There was little good news going around and this was something he wanted to share with his family.

"We'll be fine," he said, reassuringly. He was sure of it. He might not have been the best choice for husbands or fathers but he was doing a damn sight better than anyone ever thought he would. Aside from that one little mishap when they'd gotten engaged... he'd done the right thing. He certainly wasn't going out and clubbing with other girls or letting them all over him. That made him a right sight better then Davies. Course, that did't take much. A stupider bloke he'd never encountered and he'd been on a Quidditch team with Crabbe and Goyle. Shaking his head, he sighed.

"I just want you to be excited about this and I know you're not and I don't really know how to make you feel better about it." He pulled back and cupped her face in his hands, dropping a light kiss on her nose. "Because I am. I'm excited I'm having a family with you. But when you look so miserable... I just feel like I destroyed you or something." He wasn't sure where all that came from but he realized it was true. She didn't want to be a mother and he'd made her one and he didn't want her to resent him for that.

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laurales
2011-11-23 06:28 am UTC (link)

She looked down at his hand as he spread it over her stomach, trying not to freak out. It was a baby. People touched baby bellies. It wasn't because she was fat. She was supposed to gain weight for the baby to be healthy. Not to mention the Healer said it should be about three inches by this time and that was...well, that was something. Definitely took up space. "It, erm...it has fingerprints now," she said randomly with a small nod, trying to stay relaxed. This was what she'd wanted and now she just...had to get used to it. It would take a while but, the way he smiled and kissed her hair like that? It was amazing and made the whole thing infinitely easier. If he smiled like that everytime he touched her abdomen then she didn't want him to ever stop.

She looked up at him, frowning slightly when he started actually talking. That had pretty much come out of nowhere but hadn't they just agreed on talking more? This was good. And he was excited about having a family with her which was also good. Great, even. She shook her head at his last sentence. "You didn't destroy me. What does that even mean?" Maybe physically, sure, but she'd bounce back eventually right? She was still young enough that it wouldn't completely ruin her body for good. "I'm not...I'm not miserable," she said, a bit upset that he thought that. Well, maybe she was a little miserable but it wasn't because she was pregnant.

"I'm just scared, Clint. I'm scared about that group. I'm scared about what's going to happen to my body. I'm scared about being a horrible mother. I'm scared about being a horrible wife. I don't want to say or do the wrong things and I want you to be more involved but I don't know how to ask you and when I decide I'm going to, I just remember how much you didn't want to get involved with the wedding and I know this is different but I also know that you're busy and I don't want you to feel obligated to be more involved than you want to. I don't know what I'm doing, Clint and it's scary," she said quickly, wincing at herself almost instantly. Merlin. She sounded like a ridiculous and ramble-y child.

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mynameisclint
2011-11-23 08:00 pm UTC (link)

"Fingerprints..." he murmured, eyes flickering down to his hand, watching it tighten protectively over her abdomen. He'd never thought he'd feel this way about having children. Ever. It had always been something to loathe and despise. It'd mean the end to his bachelor ways but he wasn't nearly as upset with that as he'd originally thought he'd be. Course, there was no going back now and he understood that but still. It was- Well, it was very nice. He liked that he had his own family. And a baby... Overwhelming, yes but something he and Daph had created. It was brilliant.

Raising a brow he shrugged. She seemed miserable. She seemed unhappy about being pregnant and while he was supposed to be understanding, he worried that she wouldn't want to be a mother. Well, he had a feeling she didn't want kids or to be motherly and while his own mother hadn't been perfect, she had taken an active interest in her children's lives. Sure, they'd had nannies but his mum had come up to the nursery to play with them and read to them. "You're miserable, Daph,' he said, kissing her on the forehead. "And it's partly my fault. I did this to you."

Her little speech had him shaking his head and he just sighed. "Which is why I think we should tell my mother. She's done this before. None of your friends have. They can't tell you what to expect but my mother loves you and she'd talk to you. I know about as much as you do... I'm not much of a help." He just wanted to be happy. "I don't know how to be more involved? What can I do? What do you want from me?"

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laurales
2011-11-25 01:09 am UTC (link)

Daphne's lips slowly curved up into a small smile as she felt his hand tighten slightly. Sure, she wasn't all that thrilled to be having a child. But she was excited to be having one with Clint. She'd always hoped it would be him that it eventually happened with and now that it was? Well, she did wish things weren't so weird between them but at the current moment? It was perfect. She could almost get excited about the life growing inside of her thanks to the look on Clint's face. Sure, she hadn't grown up with the best family life, but hopefully she and Clint and however many children they ended up with could be a mostly functional and happy family. She couldn't imagine giving it a try with anyone else in the world.

When he told her she was miserable, and that his 'did this to her', however, her happy family thoughts were momentarily paused. Why was he telling her how she was feeling? She really wasn't that miserable, and it certainly wasn't because he'd done anything to her. After Cal, hadn't Clint been the one who had wanted Daphne to be her own person again? To feel what she wanted to feel? And now he was telling her how she was feeling? "You didn't do anything to me, Clint, and I'd prefer it if you didn't talk about the baby we made together like it's some sort of punishment that you can just inflict on people," she said as she took a step away from him before heading to one of the cabinets. Grabbing a glass, she filled it with water before taking a drink from it.

Leaning against the counter, she looked back over at him. "I told you we can tell your mother whenever you'd like. Just let me know when," she said. Hadn't she already told him that? Why was he still acting like she hadn't? When she'd told him she was scared, all she's really wanted was a hug and a 'everything'll be okay'. Maybe even a kiss. But no, of course that had been hoping for too much. "All I want from you is to spend more time with you. I want you to not give me some blow off sentence every time I get upset about something. I want you with me through this because right now it really feels like you aren't." She knew something in what she said would inevitably irritate him, but he'd been honest about his feelings so she figured she should get to do the same. And really, all she wanted was genuine time with him. She didn't feel like it was asking too much.

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